Chapter 14

Sollit

"Leah? Aevea ? Can you come out now?"

"No!"

"Leah, no one is going to laugh at you, I promise."

"Go away!"

Sollit frowned, scratching the back of his head, staring at the locked privy door. This really was not ideal.

It was better than when Corvidair had been here, bellowing at the door for her to come out, demanding, in that jovial, booming voice of his, that she sing for him. Tillos had driven him away and was keeping him back, leaving Sollit to try to get their mate from the public privy she'd hidden in.

She was quite distraught about being overheard, and Corvidair had only made things worse. Sollit was sure he heard her crying and it broke his heart. Corvidair didn't mean anything bad by his immediate attention, but Leah clearly did not appreciate it.

Sollit knocked again on the locked door. He could call maintenance to have it unlocked, but he would rather she come out on her own. Not that it seemed likely to happen anytime soon.

"Can you just tell me why you're upset?" He tried again, going for a different approach this time. "I can help if you just tell me,"

There was no response this time. Sollit cocked his head at the silence, but just when he was about to ask again for her to talk to him, the door slid open. Leah was standing there, head bowed, shoulders hunched, face red, eyes swollen. She looked so miserable.

"Ah, my aevea ," he cooed, putting his arms around her. She curled into him, hiding her face.

He kept her close as he turned, walking her away from the privy, taking her back towards their room. If she insisted on being locked in a private space, he'd prefer it be that one. He felt Tillos' relief at his own determination. Though he wasn't in eyesight, he recognized from Sollit's emotions that he had gotten her out.

He allowed her to hide against him until he'd walked them back into their room. From there, she detached from him and once again locked herself in the privy. He was much less concerned about her hiding there, although he was worried that she was so desperate to get away from everyone.

"Leah?" He knocked on the door gently.

"I'm fine," she promised, but it sounded like a lie. "J-Just… go and do the show."

"We have understudies, Leah. We can miss a show."

"No. Go. I'll be fine."

Sollit frowned at the door. It seemed wrong to leave her alone, but she insisted, again.

"I don't want to be the reason you miss a show," she said, sounding so sad and guilty. "Just… give me a minute. Okay?"

He hesitated again but gave in. "If you insist, Leah. We'll be back right after. Alright?"

There was another long silence before she agreed softly. He left her there rather reluctantly, stepping out of the room to find Tillos already coming his way.

"She's in our privy now," he said by way of greeting. "She wants us to do the show. I think she needs a moment to gather herself."

"What even happened?" Tillos frowned, looking at their closed door.

"I don't know. She really hated being heard singing though."

"Stage fright?"

"Maybe. Seems a bit extreme if it's just that." Sollit gestured with his head. "Let's get the show over with so we can get back here."

Tillos grunted in agreement and turned to walk with him. "Corvidair is insisting that she sing for him."

"I just bet he is. I don't think it's going to happen though."

***

Sollit and his brother would never let a distraction get in the way of putting on a great show, but he couldn't deny that his mind kept drifting to their mate. It was wrong for them to leave her alone, hurting and afraid, but she had insisted, so what choice did they have? Breaking down the door would be bad, and waiting outside might make her feel pressured.

So, they finished out the show to the best of their abilities. No one watching would ever think that they were eager for it all to end.

Still, they made only the most perfunctory of appearances for the fans afterwards before rushing back and changing out of their costumes. Once they were more comfortable, and ready for whatever might happen, they returned to their room.

Sollit was fully prepared to need to convince Leah to leave the privy again, but he was pleased when they entered to find she had already emerged on her own. Proof, to his mind, that leaving her alone for a while had been the right choice.

She was sitting in the very center of their bed, legs crossed, playing nervously with the corner of the blanket. She didn't look up when they came inside but seemed to hunch in on herself further instead.

Sollit and Tillos slowly came around to the sides of the bed and silently climbed in. They sat in front of her, not quite side-by-side, creating a little circle as they crossed their own legs and waited. Sollit's tail came around to rest along the outside of her thighs, touching her as little as possible in case that's not what she needed. But she kind of smiled, looking at both of her legs, and he knew Tillos had done the same.

Only then did she lift her eyes and give them a sheepish look. The redness of her face had gone down, but her eyes were still puffy.

"Sorry," she said softly. "I overreacted."

Tillos shook his head. "It's okay. But will you tell us why? Are you upset you were overheard?"

"I mean… kind of? It was embarrassing."

"You've nothing to be embarrassed about," Sollit assured her quickly. "You were happy. It made you sing. We're glad for that. And your voice is pretty. I would love to hear it again. Especially if it means you are happy once more."

She smiled, but it dropped quickly. "I, er, used to sing in school. My middle and high school had a choir program, and I was the principal singer through most of high school. I really loved singing. I haven't sung in front of anyone since then though."

Tillos was curious, and Sollit understood why. There was an undercurrent of sadness to her words. Like she had lost something precious to her. But it clearly wasn't her voice. Unless maybe her voice used to sound even better. But it certainly wasn't unpleasant now.

Leah took in a breath, sighed, and shrank. Then tried again before saying-

"Erm, so, I should probably tell you. My family… well, they're a very, super religious kind of people. Like, church twice a week at minimum. Girls could only wear skirts. Men were the heads of the household, and the family had to do whatever they said. Like, very fundamentalist worldview."

Sollit and Tillos shared a quick glance. They couldn't say they really understood, as the religion devoted to the goddess and the twin gods wasn't a very popular one. However, he did know that they had their own, specific practices that they adhered to in their daily life. Though, it didn't really sound similar to what Leah was saying.

"Go on," Tillos encouraged when she fell silent again.

"Right. So, grade school is mandatory for all kids where I'm from. We all had to go through high school. But, in my religion, it was only the boys who were allowed to go to college and get degrees and specialize in higher education. Girls, females like me, we were expected to finish high school, find a husband – our mate – that god intended for us, and then settle into life as a wife and homemaker. That was the greatest thing we could do with our lives. The only thing we could do with our lives really…

"B-But I nearly got a scholarship. To college, I mean. This arts college had scouted me, and they thought I sounded amazing, and they were going to offer for me to go to their school. And I really wanted to go. Like, I was super excited about it. My family though…"

"They were not," Sollit finished for her, understanding dawning even before she nodded. Though Sollit was sad that they would not be happy for her, he felt Tillos getting angry.

"I was going to do it anyway," she breathed, like it was a secret she was still afraid to speak. "I really liked singing. I wanted to go to school. I thought it wouldn't really matter. I could still be a wife and homemaker. Even if I had to wait a few extra years. I didn't think I'd get famous or anything singing, I just wanted to keep doing it. Just for a little longer. My dad forbade me. He said that it was useless, and a waste of time, and I would be better off spending those years having babies for my husband."

"Wait," Tillos frowned. "The way you speak… it sounds like you were still underage and beholden to your parents."

"I mean, I was turning eighteen that year," she hedged carefully. "Er, that's how old you have to be to be considered an adult on Earth. It wasn't like I was actually a child. But even if I was legally an adult, it wouldn't have mattered. My father would still have had control over me. I wasn't allowed to have a job or have my own money or anything, so it's not like I could have gotten away from him."

Sollit and Tillos shared a look but said nothing. The dismay and disturbance they felt at the idea of someone having control like that over another didn't need to be spoken aloud. Leah continued, her eyes down on her lap where she was playing with the blanket again.

"Dad already had someone picked out for me to marry too. He was a guy from church. He was ten years older than me, and he'd already been married once. But his wife died in childbirth. We, er, our church didn't believe in going to the doctors, especially for things like that. A woman was supposed to give birth totally naturally. Some were even saying that those who were truly devout and faithful wouldn't even feel the pain of childbirth, so there was no need for a doctor. So, it was kind of common to lose your wife."

Sollit's heart was pounding. Death? By childbirth ?! Just how primitive was her species?! But he didn't get to do more than be aghast over that information as she was continuing.

"The guy dad wanted me to marry told me that singing was sinful. He said that singing was a path towards vanity and pride and that it stole glory from god and to do it was wrong. Especially in church. So, he wouldn't allow even that."

Sollit couldn't help but draw back. Wouldn't allow it?! This male, that her father chose , would deprive her of something she clearly loved? Maybe it was because religion was such a small thing on Yeluka Akuley, but it seemed to be such a frivolous reason as well.

"But I really loved singing," Leah smiled. It was a ghost of an expression, haunted and wan, speaking to a pain deeply buried. "So, I was going to finish the school year strong with one last performance, and then do the audition for the college – though it was really just a formality. They said as long as I showed up, I'd get in. But then… then, er…"

Her eyes started to swim, water pooling as she smiled such a pained, fragile smile, it hurt his own heart. He could see the hurt on her and he both didn't want to but needed to hear what she'd say next.

"For the last performance at school, I had a solo. My family came. They convinced a lot of the men from church to come. And when it was my turn… they began booing me. They threw things at me. They shamed me. Right in front of everyone. I-I couldn't even finish. You couldn't hear me, even with the microphone.

"When I got home that night, dad beat me. Told me I was sinful and shameful, and I'd embarrassed him in front of the church. He locked me in my room and kept me there. They didn't let me out until the audition passed. Then, they kept me in the house until the school year passed, just in case. Every time I started to sing or hum or anything, dad would beat me again. They made me scared to sing, and by the time I was allowed out, they'd already planned my wedding and were getting ready to move me in with him."

Sollit had to draw on his not inconsiderable skills to keep his expression tender and caring. It was difficult, considering how angry he was. And it wasn't just from the news that her father would harm her or force her into marriage, it was the ease with which she said it. Like it was completely natural and normal.

"You didn't end up bound to this male though," Tillos said, frowning. "Did you?"

Leah bit her lips before shaking her head. Sollit tried just as hard not to let his relief show. Not that he was opposed to fighting off a weak human male who dared to think their mate was his, but it would probably make a mess for Leah, and that wasn't ideal. So, it was just better that it didn't happen.

"The day of my wedding, they finally left me alone," she said, now obsessively straightening the blanket over her lap. "Just for a minute. My mom went to sit in the church, and my dad hadn't come to walk me down the aisle yet. So, it was just me. For just a minute. And I… I just ran…"