Chapter 14

14

Leah

The tension is thick as Gage and I ride the elevator up to the penthouse.

I stand close to him, my body loose and tired from everything we did at Low Vice. My face warms as I remember how I lay across Dmitri’s lap while he spanked me. They both talked about how wet I was, how desperate.

They were so right.

But after, saying goodbye to Dmitri was bittersweet. He seemed sad.

“Are you sorry we did this?” I asked Dmitri as the three of us left the club.

“Not at all.” He kissed my forehead before shooting a glance at Gage, as if wondering whether Gage would challenge something as innocent as a forehead kiss. “I’ll text you tomorrow.”

I’m lost in thoughts of that bittersweet farewell when Gage reaches out and pushes the button to stop the elevator.

I grab his arm, alarmed. “What?—”

“Tell me now.” He crowds me against the wood-paneled wall. The gilt railing digs into my lower back. “Tell me now that you’re completely okay with everything we did tonight in Low Vice.”

“I—I am,” I say. “Are you?”

He nods and buries his face against my neck. “Very okay.”

His cock is hard against my thigh, hot and branding. Squirming, I wish there were no clothes between us.

“Is your sweet cunt hungry for more, little girl?” He reaches beneath my dress. His breath tickles my ear, drawing chills from my body.

“Yes, Daddy.”

Without warning, he pulls aside my underwear and thrusts a finger inside me.

“Gage,” I gasp. “Someone could catch us.”

“Trust me.” He moves his finger out slightly and adds another. “Ask me why I’m okay with you and Dmitri having sex.”

My brain is short-circuiting. Words have no meaning. It’s like someone scrambled the pages of my favorite books and turned them into confetti.

“Ask me,” he repeats.

“Why are you okay with it?”

“Because the two of you”—he pumps his fingers—“are already linked together.”

He thrusts in and out. I moan, clinging to his shoulders. My legs are unsteady, but he’s here, supporting me between himself and the elevator wall.

“Neither of you seems ready to admit it or do anything about it.” He uses his thumb to rub my clit. I’m extra sensitive after the orgasms at the club. “If I try to come between you? It won’t work out for any of us.”

I’m only half-listening, carried away by the pleasure he’s giving.

“Whether Dmitri wants to admit it or not, half your heart belongs to him.” With his free hand, Gage tilts my face so I’m looking at him. Behind his glasses, his eyes are deep brown, penetrating. “Tell me I’m wrong, baby girl.”

I can’t. I can’t even shake my head to argue.

He kisses me. Hard, fierce. “Since he has one half, I hope someday in the future you’ll trust me with the other.”

Another kiss, then he crooks his fingers inside me. I am tears, laughter, pain, pleasure. Held in his arms, I am everything.

And what I don’t say out loud is that I’ve already given him the other half of my heart.

* * *

Gage

My phone rings in the middle of the night. I snatch it up and silence it before it can wake Leah. She’s been sleeping with me more often than not, even though she grumbles about my “Eternal Darkness of the Soul” bedroom.

I’ve started cracking open the curtains after I wake up and dress in the mornings. It feels strange to let the outside world into my most private room, but I’m trying.

I hope she can see that I’m trying, because I’m doing it all for her.

I bite back a groan when I see the name on my screen. I slide out of bed. Once I’m in the hall, I answer. “Claudia, what is it?”

“Gagey?” She starts to say something else, but her sobs cut it off. She’s crying.

I pinch the bridge of my nose between my fingers. I’m worried about her, yet frustrated. I want her to be healthy and safe, but I can’t force her to make the right choices. “What’s going on, Claudia? Are you safe?”

“I—I don’t think so.”

“Where are you?”

“I’m at home. But someone was watching me, and I thought I imagined it and—” She continues talking, but she’s speaking so fast and her words are so slurred, I can’t understand.

“Claudia?”

“Took some pills because I was seeing things and I don’t know…” Her words fade and become muffled. It sounds like the phone fell into blankets.

“Claudia?”

Now she isn’t speaking at all. My heart thuds with panic. I should be there for her. Why did I move to San Esteban? I’m her only support, the only friend who actually cares about her . Yet I left her in Los Angeles.

“Claudia, answer me. Right now.”

Still no response.

A soft hand touches my shoulder, and I jump. Whirling around, I find Leah standing in my bedroom doorway, wearing one of my T-shirts.

I tug her close to me, soaking in her comfort.

“Claudia, if you don’t answer me right this second, I’m calling an ambulance for you.”

Leah stiffens against me, pulling back to look up at me with alarm.

There’s no word, no voice at all on the other end of the line. I start to hang up, but Leah says, “No, stay with her. I’ll get my phone.”

I follow her into the bedroom and use her phone to dial 9-1-1. I explain the emergency to the operator, and they inform me that an ambulance is heading to Claudia’s house.

I end the call with the emergency operator. There’s nothing else for me to do. Except?—

“I know you have to go to her,” Leah says quietly. “Would you like me to come, too?”

I brush a kiss on the top of her head. “You have work. I don’t know what shape Claudia will be in. She could be completely fine and I’ll have driven down there for no reason at all.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes. But thank you.” I put on some clothes. When I check my phone for Claudia’s call, it’s disconnected. Did Claudia end the call? Someone else? It seems too early for the ambulance to have arrived and gotten into her house.

I pray she’s the one who ended the call. I pray she’s okay.

Until now, I haven’t prayed since I was a child. I threw my wish for a leading role at any and every deity I could conceive. I got my wish, but it came with strings.

It came with many, many strings.

* * *

Leah

It’s early afternoon. I sit in the Seang twins’ living room, winding down a tutoring session. Josh and Ana are both seniors taking AP English, but only Josh enjoys it. Ana huffs and rolls her eyes periodically. She sends longing glances to her phone. When mine buzzes with a text, she leaps toward hers in expectation.

“Sorry, that was mine.” I hide a smile when I see Dmitri’s name on the screen.

Ana sighs. Josh starts reading through my comments on his essay draft.

“Ana.” I tap her printed-out essay to get her attention. “Do you have any questions?”

“Nope. And I think it’s time to go.” She smiles, all joyful relief. The first positive emotion I’ve seen from her is the thought of saying goodbye.

Next week is their spring break, so we set an appointment for two weeks from now. I say goodbye to the Seangs and go out to my car. I lean against the warm door and check my text from Dmitri.

Can we talk?

Rather than text him back, I call.

He picks up immediately, his voice a warm rumble. “Hey.”

“Hey. What’s up?” I watch a bicyclist speed past.

“I thought we should talk about last night. And other stuff.”

“Yeah.” My body clenches at the thought of last night and the things we did. “We should.”

“Can I take you out to breakfast tomorrow?”

“Somewhere public, so I don’t cause a scene?” I keep my tone light, but I’m partly serious. If he’s going to pull something like he did last time—fucking me and disappearing—I can’t be held responsible for my reaction.

“Leah.” He sighs. “No. I’m sorry I was so shitty to you about everything. I want to clear the air.”

He sounds hopeful. Maybe the chat will be good. Or maybe he’ll use it as an opportunity to put me firmly back in the friend-zone.

No. Hopeful. I think whatever he has to say, it’ll be good. “Yeah. Where do you want to meet?”

“Pancake Pete’s? Is ten too early?”

“It’s perfect.” Nerves make my insides feel squirmy, but I force myself to smile. I don’t want to sound like I’m dreading the meeting. Especially when I’m not sure what to feel, one way or the other. “See you then.”

I have two more tutoring sessions. They help take my mind off of Dmitri, but our impending breakfast date is in the back of my mind.

Afterward, I return to Gage’s penthouse to make dinner for myself. He’s still in Los Angeles after Claudia’s phone call early this morning. He texts me an update. He must be very busy, or unable to talk, because he usually calls.

He writes, Claudia will be discharged from the hospital soon. I’ll take her to a rehab facility, stay the night in a hotel nearby, and be home tomorrow .

I miss him. And my heart aches for Claudia. While I cut vegetables for a quick stir fry, I put on Academy of Ghosts . I haven’t watched it since the night at Danica’s when I recognized Gage. Watching the show is the closest I can get to him right now, even though we’re separated by a screen and twenty-four years.

Gage’s incubus character, Zeke, is adorably earnest. And Claudia plays a succubus. She’s perfect for the role with her curvy body and plump lips. They don’t play love interests, at least not in Season Three. Instead, a blond vampire, “Trixie,” claims the honor of having “Zeke’s” heart on the show.

I decide immediately that I don’t like Trixie. Her character is manipulative and low-key cruel, and Zeke deserves better.

I’m slicing a tomato and muttering at my laptop, “Go to hell, Trixie,” when Danica texts.

My pinkie finger is the only part of my hand not covered in tomato juice. I call her instead of texting and put her on speaker.

“What’s up?” I ask.

“Tell me you’re coming to Salding tonight. My aunts are forcing me and I don’t want to. You’ll make it tolerable.”

“Salding? For what?” I finish slicing the tomato and move it aside for a bell pepper.

“To celebrate the jazz club. Patrick invited you.”

I vaguely remember a text from Patrick yesterday. I ignored the message because lately, he seems a little too interested in hanging out with me. I didn’t want to give him the wrong idea by writing back immediately.

But why would Patrick invite me? Why wouldn’t Dmitri invite me instead? We spoke on the phone a few hours ago. He could’ve asked me then. He must not want me there. I frown at the pepper and slice it a little more vigorously than necessary.

“So?” Danica sounds impatient.

“Yeah, I’ll go.” I’ll go and I’ll look amazing. I’ll wear that dress Gage bought me, because I feel incredible in it.

“Yay! Want to meet me there? I’ll text you the address.”

We figure out the details, but my mind is elsewhere—mostly on Dmitri. Gage said that Dmitri has my heart. But this party makes me think I don’t have Dmitri’s. Not at all. If I were important to him, he would’ve invited me. He’s been talking about starting that club with Patrick for years.

Fabulous. Spite will fuel my beauty. I’m going to look fucking fabulous.

* * *

Gage

Claudia seems so small in her hospital bed. We’re in a private room, in a private hospital. The beeping sounds of monitors are muted here. Everything is far more peaceful and respectful than it would be in a public hospital.

My chest thuds with a dull emptiness. Claudia has suffered for years, and she continues to suffer. While I have some say in her treatment because she granted me some legal powers, I can’t force her to get well.

This hospital, frequented by celebrities and others with ties to the film industry, boasts a substance abuse rehab center. I can see the place from the window, past a large, immaculately landscaped lawn. A meandering concrete pathway, bordered by rose bushes, leads to it. The building itself has glass doors with a small sign stretched above them reading Santo Serenity .

“Hey.” Claudia’s voice is raspy, and she clears her throat. “Whatcha looking at out there?”

“The rehab center.”

“It looks pretty nice, right? Nicer than that other one I tried.”

I turn around to face her directly. “It does look nice. I already talked to the director. She assured me that they’ll do everything they can to equip you with the best tools to manage your health.”

Claudia and I have already been in touch with Vero, Claudia’s therapist. She believes this treatment center is the best chance Claudia has at recovery.

Claudia agreed to voluntarily admit herself. Then she promptly burst into tears and nearly hyperventilated. The nurses had to administer medication to calm her down. She fell asleep after that.

Her face twists as if she’ll cry again, but she manages to keep her emotions in check. “I’m an addict, Gage. I hate that I have to say it out loud, but Vero said I need to be more open about it. She said there’s no shame. But I feel so fucking ashamed, all the time.”

I sit on the edge of her bed. “You have an illness. You shouldn’t be ashamed of that.”

We spend the rest of the day talking and preparing for her to be transferred to the rehab facility. I make arrangements at my hotel to stay for one extra night. I desperately want to get back to Leah and my dark, quiet home, but it makes more sense to stay close in case anything goes wrong with Claudia’s intake. She could, for instance, completely change her mind about treatment.

A few hours later, however, I walk Claudia up to the entrance of Santo Serenity. While she doesn’t seem eager to go inside, she doesn’t protest, either. Two burly security guards stand inside the clear glass doors.

“This is as far as I can take you.” I squeeze Claudia’s shoulder. “All your forms have been filled out, and Vero has coordinated everything. You’re good to go.”

She blinks apprehensively at the wide glass doors and fusses with her pale blue, hospital-issued scrubs—her new uniform for the next few weeks. “I’m not going to be able to talk to you for a while, Gage. Vero said the doctors here will want me to take a break from all my usual friends and connections.”

I could use the break, too, although I would never, ever tell her that. “I’ll miss you. But more importantly, I want you to be healthy. You deserve to be healthy, Claudia. I want that more than anything for you.”

“I’m starting to want that, too. For the first time, I want to be well.” She throws her arms around me. “I don’t want to die.”

I hug her for a long moment, patting her back. “You’re not going to die. You’re going to follow your treatment plan. When you get out, I’d like to take you out to dinner with Leah. I think you two would get along.”

“I’d love that.” She finally pulls away and her eyes glisten with tears.

“Then it’s a plan.”

When I move to walk away, she grabs my hand.

“Gage. I know my perception of things is…maybe not quite right. Maybe the doctors will tell me I’m paranoid. But last night, I’m sure I saw someone in my window.”

I give her hand a squeeze. I don’t know whether she saw something real, or if she was hallucinating. “Do you have any cameras on that window?”

“No…but you believe me, right?”

“I believe you.” At least, I believe she saw someone. Whether they were actually there will remain a mystery. “The good news is, you’ll be safe here.”

Her eyes shine with sincerity. “I’m more worried about you. Please be careful.”

“You want me to be careful?”

She takes a deep breath. “I think someone’s trying to kill us.”