Chapter Ten

The Antidote

There comes a point in every relationship, when words cease to be necessary and for us, it was right then.

I was sorry, he was sorry.

There were lies that had been told on both sides, he'd tried to kill me, I'd been hired to assassinate him, his closest friend had poisoned his mind against me, I was currently working with a man who wanted him dead.

Looked at like that, it wasn't what you would call the firmest of foundations on which to build a relationship, but Nicolo and I had always beaten those odds.

There in the alley, having been fighting each other just moments before, came the triumph of our affection. And I use the word ‘affection' quite deliberately. Attraction is one thing—it had always been there between us and definitely still was, but that wasn't enough to stop a fight. Attraction is easy, beauty is surprisingly common, lust is wherever you look for it. But affection? To genuinely like the person you're with and to such a depth? That was rare and precious, and it had just saved my life.

Probably.

Perhaps.

I was pretty sure.

Anything could have happened in the next moment, but it really didn't feel as if anything bad would. It's usually a mistake to read too much into a kiss, but some kisses are the length and complexity of an epic novel, and you can safely read into them.

It didn't seem to me as if we stopped kissing as we moved through the city like a dream. Presumably, we did or we would have been walking into people, horses, and walls. Nicolo must have released my lips long enough to speak to the landlord of the nearest tavern (his old life meant he was on first name terms with most, if not all, the tavern owners in the vicinity of the Great Castle). We'd have tripped on the stairs if we hadn't stopped kissing to walk up them and, now that I look back, the staircase was only wide enough for us to go single file. But I really don't remember a moment that we stopped kissing. From the alley to the bedroom was one long kiss. And we certainly weren't stopping once we reached the bedroom.

Maybe our memories of events can be different to what actually happened, but I don't think that makes the memory any less real. The memory is its own reality, and that reality for me was a kiss from alley to bedroom.

In the bedroom, kissing continued, broken up somewhat by shed clothes and whispers that meant nothing but said much. I was almost surprised to find myself naked only seconds later, but pleased too—it was certainly convenient and enabled Nicolo to make an indulgent kissing tour of my body, his lips seeking out every inch of bare flesh, planting sweet butterfly kisses wherever they landed. I gasped at the intimate touch, my whole body flexing, muscles tensing and releasing, pleasure charting a tingling path from my extremities inwards like fire that started at my fingers and burnt its way to lick around my core. As his lips continued their diligent journey, Nicolo's hands were no less busy, refamiliarizing themselves with a body they knew so well.

"Oah…" I moaned as I felt his nimble fingers tracing patterns on the firm flesh of my breasts as if he was relearning their contours.

The fingers went lower and I bit my lip in excitement as they slipped between my legs to find and explore my most intimate and sensitive areas. Like an artist at work, Nicolo teased me to the heights of arousal. Having kissed everywhere else, his head dipped between my legs so his wicked tongue could join his fingers in a multi-pronged assault until I couldn't keep still. I writhed as if the bed were red hot, bucking my hips up to meet him until Nicolo had to hold me still so he could continue what he was doing, lavishing pleasure on my body until I was filled to bursting.

And so I burst.

What the landlord or other inhabitants of the tavern thought was going on in that room, I couldn't say, but I certainly didn't hold back.

It sounds foolish, but it was only then I realized—or at least only then that I really appreciated —that Nicolo was as naked as I was. In fact, he seemed to be more naked somehow. Neither of us was wearing any clothes and nudity ought to be a binary state—one or the other—but the impressive scale of his arousal just made him seem more naked. Not just nude, but flaunting it by proudly displaying every inch (so many inches!).

Reaching out to touch, then grasp, the hot skin of his strident weapon, I felt an almost relief. I'd never thought to be with him again, I'd never thought to touch this wonderful toy again, never again to have it and kiss it and stroke it and love it. Nor to be loved by it. There was more to us than sex, of course, but that didn't mean I hadn't missed the sex, as a symbol of our affection as much as anything else.

Nicolo sighed and stroked my hair as I kissed him, up and down, savoring the taste of him, and the knowledge that he was mine again. Not just this wonderful body, but the soul that had been wrenched from me.

With gentle hands, Nicolo eased me away from him and guided me back to the bed. My heart fluttered in my chest, desperate for the moment. I felt him, so strong and hard at my entrance, I felt his touch on my flesh, firm yet tender, achingly masculine but slow and gentle.

"Nicolo…" How I had missed saying his name.

"Charlotte…"

I never ceased to be amazed by the fulfillment of every sense when he entered me. I wrapped my limbs about him, wanting to touch every part of him. It seemed to me that Nicolo was made for me, these fine, taut muscles flexed for my delight, the broad sculpted chest designed for my eyes, that firm, tireless organ deep within me made by the great god for my private ecstasy.

We kissed as our bodies tussled together in the slow yet fierce movements of desire, and for the next few hours the rest of the world was silent, and there was only Nicolo and me.

***

There was a polite knock at the door and the voice of the landlord from without, pitched at a tactful level.

"Will you be wanting any more, Master?"

Nicolo puffed out his cheeks and shook his head where it lay on the pillow. "At some point, no doubt, but give me a chance to recover."

I giggled from where I lay, my head resting on his body, rising and falling with the movement of his broad, muscular chest. "I think he might mean; do you want anything else. Food? Wine? That sort of thing."

Nicolo shrugged. "I could eat. I need to get my strength back." He lifted his head and called towards the door. "Thank you. Please send up dinner. No hurry."

I couldn't help smiling. Pleases and thank yous were not something that anyone had heard from the master since his return to Woodfall Gath. They were words used by my Nicolo, not by Balduin's. I didn't want to take full responsibility for it, but it seemed as if I'd somehow broken the bond that existed between the two men. Or, at least, I hoped that's what had happened.

Nicolo let his head drop back again and idly stroked my hair. But his face was grave.

"Something wrong?" I asked, perhaps still a little anxious.

"So many things," he answered on a sharp inhale. "And yet so many things are now right. I'm back with you. All is as it is meant to be."

"You can tell me," I urged.

He turned his violet gaze on me. "It's all true then? Everything you said. You were hired to kill me… and you were hired by Balduin."

"Yes," I answered, looking at him plainly so he could see the truth in my eyes.

He swallowed hard. "He killed his own grandmother and then lied to me about it?" I nodded. "And I went along with what… with what seems to me now like madness…" He shook his head as if he'd just awakened from a dream, as if he couldn't recollect how he'd ended up here, as if he couldn't connect the man he'd been to the man he truly was. He looked up at me then. "I wasn't myself because… because of some weird connection between Balduin and me that has something to do with my father?"

"All sounds a bit far-fetched when you say it out loud," I admitted.

"But it's true?"

I nodded again. "I'm sorry."

"Me too," he said, not feeling the need to pretend that he'd not lost something. "I'm sorry I didn't believe you, Charlotte," he started.

I silenced him with a kiss on his lips. "You weren't yourself. You were clouded—you didn't know what you were doing. It was the bond between the two of you that was basically… poisoning you."

He nodded. "I know I shouldn't feel bad because Balduin's done terrible things, but… he was my friend. My only friend. He made my childhood bearable. To think that he'd try to have me killed…" There was a pure and genuine grief in his eyes such as I hadn't seen since he learned of the Old Queen's death. This was like that; Balduin was still alive and yet Nicolo had lost him just the same.

"Remember the good times," I said. "I'm sure he wasn't always like that. Maybe leading the life he led… that would corrupt anyone. Being given everything he wanted, everyone fearing him, trying to please him. That's enough to change any person."

"But we were always above that," said Nicolo, sadly. "That was always our pact. It would never matter to us, we were for each other and against the world. I shall miss that." He shook his head. "Not all of it is some fanciful magic to do with my eyes and my father. We really were friends."

"Oh, yes," I nodded. "You wouldn't have formed that bond if it hadn't been real to begin with."

He half-smiled. "Good. I know he went… he became another man. But there were good times. We were happy once. When we were children. That would be a hard memory to let go of."

"Treasure it," I advised.

For a while Nicolo was silent, absorbing it all.

"Can I ask…" I began tentatively." Can I ask how it all seems to you now? These last few weeks?"

Nicolo's eyes seemed to train on something in middle distance, floating beyond the fireplace. "It… It's real. I know that. But it feels a little like someone else was doing the things I did… Actually, no. That's not right. I know these terrible things—these awful things—were done by me. I know it was me. But I seem now to be watching someone else do them, because I'd never do anything like the things that man did. I'd never countenance what was being done in Balduin's name. I'd never be fool enough to let him do such things without at least trying to talk him out of them."

"There's no talking the king out of anything," I said quickly, knowing where his mind was going.

"Maybe."

"He doesn't have your excuse."

Nicolo didn't meet my gaze and I could hardly blame him for wanting to find some excuse for his friend—hadn't that been what I'd wanted to do for him?

"Remember he wanted to kill you."

"So, did you."

"I was being paid."

Nicolo shrugged. "Balduin isn't the first and I doubt he'll be the last. Killing Master Nicolo is like a hobby in the Great Castle, everyone has a go."

"Nicolo…"

"No," he held up a hand. "I know. It's hard to let go of a friend, but I know it's true, I know it's real and I won't make excuses for him. I know what has to happen now." He looked down at me and to my delight, I saw a calm gladness in his gaze. "Thank the great god I have you."

"I'm never leaving you again."

"Good. Because when you do, it seems to be very bad for me."

He bent down and kissed me.

"I feel as if I have back a part of myself."

I felt the same way. With him gone, it was as if all the love had gone out of my life. Now he was back and I felt like a different woman. It was a comfort to know that the spell which fate seemed to have cast on us didn't only work in Simnel, we could be happy here too, in a place where bad things had happened to both of us. We were above such things now, love would carry us through.

Nicolo lifted my head from his chest and moved me to the pillow. Swinging around, he got out of bed, and I couldn't stop my greedy eyes from traveling up and down, hither and thither across his naked body—so much to see and all of it… impressive. I could spend my life as the cartographer of that body and never grow tired of mapping it.

There was a bang at the door followed by the voice of the maid. "Dinner, sir!"

Nicolo deflated and reached for his jerkin. "Coming."

The door opened and the maid bustled in, carrying a tray. She came to an abrupt stop at the sight of Nicolo standing naked before her. Her eyes yo-yoed between his face and a lower extremity.

"I thought you said ‘come in'."

"‘Com- ing ," explained Nicolo, still too surprised by her abrupt entrance to even cover his essentials.

"Ah," nodded the maid. "Easy mistake, I guess." She nodded down at the tray. "Dinner. There's a err…" Her eyes flicked again. "… a large piece of meat. Where would you like me to put it?"

"How about on the table?" suggested Nicolo, a little sharply.

"Very popular position," agreed the maid.

She hurried to place the tray, then made for the door, shooting a last glance at Nicolo and then raising her eyebrows at me in none-too-subtle congratulation.

"Thank you!" Nicolo called after her. He turned back to me. "Where was I?"

"I'm not sure I can remember anything before the large piece of meat."

Nicolo looked at me and there was a strange expression on his face. "Charlotte…"

"Nicolo?"

He seemed to puzzle with finding the right words. Finally he exhaled. "I want you to be my wife."

I looked into his violet eyes and saw nothing but love staring back at me. "Oh," I said, completely taken aback. Of all things he might have said, I never would have imagined that.

"Oh?" he laughed.

"Well, you hardly prepared me for the question," I responded.

He nodded. "Yes, I hardly prepared myself, I'll admit." Then a smile graced his mouth. "Regardless, what have you to say for yourself?"

I laughed. "My answer, you mean?"

"Yes, your answer."

I cocked my head to the side. "No. Not yet."

Nicolo looked surprised. "Oh."

"Oh?"

He frowned. "I have to admit that I sort of thought you would say yes."

I jumped off the bed to kiss him. "I will. But not now. Not yet. Not with everything the way it is. I don't want to think about a future that's so uncertain. I'll give you an answer when we've restored the kingdom to the way it used to be."

We kissed, and the kiss kept coming.

"How about we skip dinner?" suggested Nicolo, between kisses that were becoming ever more passionate.

"I don't know. I was looking forward to a large piece of meat."

"Well then," Nicolo guided me back down onto the bed, "you've come to the right place."