Master B-0361

T he Main Master’s ‘soon’ and my ‘soon’ were two different things. Where I was under the impression that the trial would be in days, it was actually set over three weeks later. Today. In just a few hours. Three weeks of hell. Three fucking weeks of outside life with only the weekends at the Gardens. I was such a mess. The days with Margaret were long and lonely. The ones without her were pure torture. She stayed quiet. I was quiet. Our comedy show held no joy like it once did. Not that I was really watching. My eyes were on the screen, but my senses knew nothing but her.

I hated seeing her so withdrawn, but what was I supposed to do? Keep her? Engage in acts meant for slaves and not for…her? Hadn’t I fucked her up enough with my ways? Not that the thought wasn’t appealing. Hell, I wanted to have her more than anything. Just not like I had before. I wanted something different. Something… more normal . At least at the moment. That was trouble waiting to happen. It’s why I was rushing to get her out of my apartment. Out of my life. It wasn’t happening anywhere near fast enough for the feelings evolving within me.

“What are you studying?”

Her head lifted and she glanced at me, going back to stare at the pages as our show mindlessly played on.

“I’m refreshing my knowledge of Anatomy and Physiology.”

“And how’s that going?”

“Better than I thought.”

“Good.” I got quiet again, letting out a deep breath. “I’m told the medical apartments are on the same floor as the hospital. That should make you feel better. You won’t have to go very far.”

“True.”

Silence. More reading.

“Margaret.”

She slammed the book closed, turning to face me.

“Stop. Just…stop. You don’t have to do this.”

“Do what? Try to talk to you?”

Her lips tightened.

“Yeah. You don’t have to feel obligated to do that. Pretend I’m not here. That’s what you want anyway.”

At my silence, her brow crinkled, and she turned, reopening her book.

“I’m only thinking about what’s best for you.”

“No, Sebastian, you’re thinking about what’s best for you , just like you always do. And that’s fine. On this, you’re actually right. Working at the hospital and being free is a golden opportunity. It definitely benefits me better in the long run than being your slave. I mean, if you weren’t dreaming of killing me, you’d feel obligated to care for me, and that’s not fair. Plus, I don’t want that. We laugh and have fun, but that would end when you had your urges and brought new slaves home. So, yeah, it’s fine. There’s nothing left to say. You’ll continue to relive your pain, and I’ll have a future becoming a doctor. I can actually have a semi-normal life working at the hospital. Dr. Bailor even says it’s better here than the outside world.”

“Who’s Dr. Bailor?”

The deepness in my tone couldn’t be hidden as I sat up straighter on the cushion.

“He’s the one who’s taken me under his wing, so to speak. He’s amazing, really. Super smart. He’s invited me to dinner tomorrow night and I’m thinking of accepting.”

I scooted to the edge of the sofa, turning even more towards her in my shock. “Dinner? He asked you to dinner? Who’s this guy?”

“Don’t get that tone. It’s merely extra time to talk over how some procedures differ from those in the outside world. I guess the laws on the outside prevent techniques that can be used here.”

“Bullshit,” I exploded. “Surely you’re not buying that excuse.”

“It’s not an excuse. We’re very busy at the hospital. We don’t get much time between patients to really dig into everything I need to learn.”

“You’ve been there a week.”

“Almost two.”

“ You have years to figure it out . What does this guy look like?”

Margaret made an aggravated sound, shutting her book.

“What was that, Margaret? That sound? We’re not talking about some old, unattractive doctor, are we?”

“He’s not bad looking, I guess. Although, truthfully, I don’t care either way. I’m there to learn, and he’s who the Main Master set me up with. I have no control over any of it.”

My eyes widened. “Define not bad looking.”

For seconds she paused, reopening her book to where she had the page marked. Except, she wasn’t using a bookmark. She was using a picture.

“This was taken a few days ago while you were gone. It was Nurse Kelly’s birthday. We threw her a little party.”

I took the picture, glaring at it as I took in the handful of people in the photo. Margaret didn’t have to tell me who Dr. Bailor was. He was the only one wearing a white coat, and the only one who looked like he’d been plucked from the set of some dreamy, hospital drama.

“The Main Master set you up with him? Elec, that son of a bitch. Why am I not surprised?”

She tilted her head, narrowing her lids. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It means,” I growled, “this was a set-up and a test for me. The doctor is available, and I was right. The dinner is an invitation to fuck.”

“You mean someone might actually want me? Maybe I need to be fucked .”

I had Margaret off that couch so fast that she yelped as I scooped her in my arms and headed for the room.

“I think you forget you’re still my slave.” I tossed her on my bed, pushing her on her back just as fast. “What part of freedom when you’re finished did you not understand?”

“You don’t want me. I don’t see why you care if someone else does. I thought you wanted me to be happy. Safe.”

“From me! Safe from me, Margaret. Happy?—”

“ Without you. You want me safe, but you don’t want me. You want a ghost and to remain in this twilight zone of what-ifs. I can’t compete with that. I won’t. Not if I have a choice, and you’re giving me one.”

“Maybe I’ll be a bastard and recant my offer. Maybe I’ll keep you coded-out, half dead to live out some sick fucking fantasy that I can’t let go. It’s not just about her , it’s me. God dammit, Margaret. Do you not see what I’m trying to prevent? Keep you…it’s a nice thought. A really fucking nice thought. But there’s no guarantee that this will last. Maybe it’s good this week, and maybe I can’t fight this thing in my mind, and I kill you next week. Maybe it’s good for months and then I snap. It’s too early to know. All I know is taking this path with you it’s…it’s fucking scary. Scarier than anyone down here in the Gardens. My life.”

I closed my eyes, moving my cheek into the palm that was suddenly cupping my face. When I opened, I saw her . Not Maggie. I saw Margaret.

“I have a life outside of this place. My responsibilities would sink a normal man. That’s the least of it. My biggest responsibility…I haven’t even started yet. And I can’t have that with you.”

“You mean a wife. Children. The life you and the Main Master were talking about with Master One.”

I nodded.

“At some point it’s going to happen. It won’t be a love match. I don’t want one. It’ll be more of a business arrangement, but that’s beside the point. I’ll have a wife. Kids. I’ll run my family businesses, and I’ll be there. A lot. I’ll have to. That’s just the way it is. But it’s an unfair life for you or anyone who’d want more of me. I can’t.” I stopped through the tug-o-war in my chest. “You’ve been hurt enough. I won’t put you through that too.”

Slowly, her hand dropped from my cheek, but she didn’t make it far before I caught her wrist, flattening it back where it had been. For seconds, I pushed everything away, the light in the room, the racing pulse in my ears. I memorized the feel, letting her touch devour what was left of the raw and broken thing I called a heart.

Turning, I kissed into her palm, lowering it to rest on her chest.

“You’ll be a great doctor. Maybe I’ll set you free. Maybe I’ll continue to be a bastard and keep the only part of you I can. A number. A stupid ‘knowing’ that you’re mine. You won’t be with another man. I won’t allow it. You can hate me for that all you want, but no one else will touch you. No one but me. And if you think I won’t find out or know, you’re wrong. These walls talk, and I’d know before they finished fucking you. And I’d kill them, Margaret. I may kill you both.”

A war played on her face. I could see her pulling both ways, but one quickly overpowered the other. “Then I’m not leaving, and we’re not over.”

“What?”

“That’s absurd. You want me, and I think…I think what’s happening between us.” She stopped. “I’m staying.”

“We’ve already talked about this. It’s not safe with me.”

“It’s more dangerous out there in a worker-apartment by myself. Men, both workers and Masters, will target me. They’ll see me unprotected, and they’ll pursue me like wolves. Why should I have to put up with that when the only man I want to try to be with is right here?”

“You want to be with me?”

“I won’t lie and say I don’t feel something when I do. I can’t help it. I’ve done nothing but think over this now for weeks. I could easily walk away.” Her eyes scanned mine. “I don’t want to.”

“Are you listening to yourself? Did you not just hear me? You’d stay and live here alone while I’m playing house and making babies with another woman?”

“I hear you loud and clear. But how you see it one way, I see it another. I’ll be your Mistress and slave…and I’ll be a doctor here. I’ll live here in our apartment while you’re away leading your family. We’ll both be busy, but we’ll have each other when we’re able. If that means you still buy other slaves, you buy them and do what you must. And I will work, and work, and learn, and live. With my status, that is a privilege, and one I will happily embrace.”

“You’ve lost your mind. You’re agreeing to accept me having a wife, killing and fucking dead slaves, all the while staying and being with me.”

“Wait. You’re right. It’s all a lie.” She took a shaky breath. “It sounded good in the moment, but it won’t work. I’ll accept the wife. You can’t help that. But you won’t be needing any slaves. I’ll suffice just fine.”

“And how will you do that?”

“I told you: ice baths. The code word. I can do it if you don’t leave me alone while I’m under. We can make this work. We won’t know how it’ll turn out if we don’t try. They make special tubs. I’ll feel dead in every sense. Dead but alive. Dead but yours . Have what you need, and then bring me back to you. To have. To keep . Keep me, Sebastian. You want this. I know you do. And I’m yours. All you have to do is kiss me. Kiss me and let’s see if we can make this work. Let’s see what happens.”

As I stared down at her pleading eyes, every part of me wanted to give in and submit. I wanted a new start . I wanted her .

“Please. Kiss me. I choose the consequences of what may happen. I’m fully aware. I want you. Want me too. Choose us .”

Light brown pulled me in, and down…down…down. My lips met Margaret’s, and her arms wrapped around my neck, tightening as she pulled me into her. Hunger consumed me as I wrapped around her too. I kissed her with every ounce of passion that had been locked away in the casket that held my soul. I gave myself to Margaret in that moment, ready to see where our future took us. The Garden’s didn’t promise much, but it could hold happiness I wouldn’t find in the outside world, and I accepted that.

“Take this off. Take it all off.” She pulled at my shirt, squirming underneath me in her desperate need for us to undress. My tongue dueled with hers as I jerked at the button of her jeans. It was knocking that had both of us breaking away from the kiss. “No. Don’t answer it.”

She groaned as I laughed and stood.

“It’s probably the Main Master seeing if we’re ready for the trial tonight. You have no idea the stress he’s under because of this. Shit will get bad when the LaRoe’s get this verdict, but it’s for the best. It has to be done. This family is too unstable to stay in the circle. They have to go, one at a time. We start here. Give me two minutes.”

But she didn’t. Margaret followed as I fixed my tie, pulling down and straightening my vest just outside of the door. When I opened it, I froze, confused as I stared at the guard who was staring at me blankly. Seconds passed.

“Can I help you? …Did the Main Master send you to get us?”

“Who is it?”

At Margaret’s voice, the guard seemed to awaken, his head snapping over to try to see around me. Pressure exploded at the center of my chest from his push, and I stumbled back, seeing nothing but determination on his face as he pulled his gun free. It sent my world tilting.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing?’

“Jett has lots of tricks. Jett says goodbye.”

There were no words, only action. My hand shot out to his wrist, just as a shot went off. Pressure sent the gun in my direction, but I added even more strength. It was almost impossible to get control through his superhuman strength. My ears were ringing as the shots kept coming.

Bang!

Bang!

My size aided in getting the upper hand, but at Margaret crumbling in my peripheral, my hold suddenly loosened. My heart cracked. It fell. My breath caught, and I was spinning for her, collapsing at her side, but it was the hole between her eyes that made my world completely stop. Pain came in burning punches throughout the center of my back. I could feel the jolts at their force, but I truly didn’t react to the shots. I held to dead light brown eyes, throwing every part of me into them. Letting me fall into their empty depths. I could live there. I could stay there forever. With her. With a love that could have been. At the splitting explosion in the back of my skull, I knew I’d never leave. There’d be no more pain. No more hope or hell. It would be me. Her. Together…forever…