Chapter 23

Nix kept the easy smile plastered on his face as he grabbed his lunch tray and walked across the small cafeteria toward the table in the center of the room where his friends sat. He kept his chin up and ignored the whispered remarks as he passed, knowing that drawing attention was the goal for once.

It was the usual group at the table, minus Juri who’d been spending more time with Briant since bringing him to the hospital.

Nix’s cousin was still there, but not because Yejun had beaten him badly enough to need it. He was under observation for his obvious depression, the grief from losing his sister, and then discovering what Nix had found out, too great for him to handle at the moment. The two of them had spoken thrice already, and Nix felt like trash each time.

Briant didn’t understand why he was sticking around Foxglove if he believed all these things about Branwen. He wanted Nix to quit, but he also wouldn’t push him into doing anything he didn’t agree to. Which meant, when they did see one another, Briant gave him disapproving stares and acted like Juri was the one related to him instead.

Still, Nix would forever be grateful to Juri for that. For taking care of Briant and being a friend to him when Nix couldn’t. Especially since he’d been unable to explain to his cousin that he was also trying to keep him safe by agreeing he should remain hospitalized.

Juri was aware of his and West’s plan and promised to keep an eye on Briant for the next couple of days. This way, if anyone tried to go directly to him instead of coming for Nix, they’d be prepared.

They were so close though. So close to finally flushing out the people who’d pulled Branwen into this, and Nix wasn’t willing to back down at the final hour.

“Hey,” Khloe was the first to greet him when he settled in the empty chair on her left. She rested a hand on his arm, “How are you?”

“Yeah, we heard…” Grady cleared his throat uncomfortably and glanced around at all the obvious eavesdroppers. “Never mind.”

“No.” Nix picked up a seasoning packet and shook it loudly. “It’s fine. We can talk about it.”

“So you really did it?!” Dew planted his palms to the table and leaned closer, eyes wide. “You cheated on the Demons?!”

“Dude, shut the hell up,” Grady growled, but Nix merely laughed and shook his head like it were no big deal despite all the gasps from nearby tables.

“Of course not,” he replied, making sure to keep his voice steady, but high enough to be overheard. “Why would I do something like that?”

“But people saw—”

“That was my cousin they saw,” he interrupted. “And the fight was just a misunderstanding. He thought I was being used like his sister had been.”

Dew blinked at him as he and the rest of the listeners became confused. “Huh?”

“I’m sure you’ve heard about the secret task the Demons were given by the Order,” Nix said.

“I mean, it’s supposed to be a secret,” Grady drawled, then nodded for them, “but yeah. Something about tracking down an idiot who tried to infiltrate the Club House, right?”

“Yeah.”

This was why Club Essential had never been considered a secret society and was instead referred to as an exclusive club with protected membership. Stuff like this always seemed to leak. Granted, it was lower-level information, not something that necessarily needed to be kept hush-hush, but it was still interesting that the entire student body knew about the Demons’ task. Nix had even heard people talking in the halls about it randomly before.

Had one of the Demons spread the news themselves? West hadn’t been surprised or upset to learn about it when Nix had brought it up and formulated this plan with him.

“Well, they’re close to finding the people responsible,” Nix said, popping a morsel of food into his mouth casually. “They might have identified them already while I was busy with classes. My cousin is helping.”

“People?” Dew asked.

“There’s two of them.” He was certain he was gathering more than enough attention for this news to spread like wildfire throughout campus before the end of the day.

“How did involving your cousin make a difference?” Khloe tipped her head. “Who is he?”

“You haven’t secretly been a member of the Club all this time, have you?” Dew gave him a suspicious look, and when Nix laughed again, he actually meant it.

“What? No, that’s hilarious. No. But I did fib about why I came to this university.” This was what he and West had agreed on, and had even been his suggestion, but a part of him still wasn’t sure if it was the right move.

If exposing Branwen was a good thing, or would simply drive the wedge formed between them—and him and Briant—deeper. But…

Branwen had made her choice.

Now it was Nix’s turn.

“Have you heard of Iris Cherith? She was my cousin also. The one everyone saw fighting with Yejun in front of the Roost is Briant, her older brother. Turns out she told him some things and when he heard I’d transferred, he came to convince me to leave.”

“What?” Khloe covered her mouth. “You’re related to Iris?”

“She always kept to herself, but she seemed cool whenever we had art classes together,” Dew said. “How is she?”

“Dead.” Nix sipped at his soda as another round of gasps resounded. “Turns out she was manipulated by the same person the Demons are after. Once I explained to Briant I’m not being used by them, he agreed to tell them everything he knew about Iris’s situation. Lucky for us, that happened to be quite a bit since he’d recently found her diary.”

“Wait, but wasn’t she kicked out of school by Yejun?” Dew asked.

“He didn’t know the full story then,” Nix stated. “Now he does.”

“How much did Iris write about?” Grady seemed legitimately curious.

“Pretty much everything. But her diary is written in a code from when we were kids, so only Briant and I know how to read it. Pretty extra, but she probably did that on purpose knowing she was involved with dangerous people.”

“You had a code?” Khloe chuckled. “That’s kind of adorable.”

“It wasn’t anything fancy,” Nix said. “Just stupid kid stuff.”

“Where’s the diary now?”

“I have it.”

“Shouldn’t you be, like,” Dew quirked a brow, “at the Roost deciphering it for them then?”

“Nah, I wrote a program that’ll do that for me. West is running it now.”

“They’re just trusting that you’re being honest about the code?”

“Why wouldn’t we?” Everyone had been so caught up with Nix’s story, they hadn’t noticed Lake entering the cafeteria. He was standing behind Nix already, and dropped a hand to his shoulder as he spoke. “Nix has never given us reason not to trust him. He’s always been loyal.”

He bristled slightly at Lake’s presence but caught himself quickly enough to ease his shoulders back into a relaxed pose, that smile slipping back into place. “Why wouldn’t I be? You’ve never done anything to make me want to turn on you.”

“What about that?” Grady motioned to the side of his neck, expression tight.

“Oh,” Nix pressed a palm over the scar on his throat, “this? He offered to do it, and I said yes. That’s all.”

“He…” Dew seemed the most surprised, “offered?”

“Yup.”

“To give you a claiming mark?”

“Why?” Lake’s eyes narrowed. “Does that seem so unbelievable?”

“We’re tied together now,” Nix slapped a hand over the one Lake still had on his shoulder and patted him with a little more force than necessary.

“Yes,” Lake agreed. “My reputation is his reputation and vice versa. Which means I hope you’ll all continue to treat him with respect.”

“Do you?” Grady challenged.

Nix covered a chuckle with a cough and then stood, effectively forcing Lake to remove his hand in the process. “I’ve got to get to class. I’ll catch you guys later.”

Lake trailed behind him when he dumped his tray and then out onto the steps. He didn’t speak when Nix started walking toward the science building, and didn’t point out how Nix was taking the long way to avoid the art department.

He lasted almost ten minutes before the silence got too much for him, and Nix moved off the path, glaring at Lake when he stood before him.

“What?” he demanded.

“You didn’t tell me about your plan to risk yourself like this,” Lake said in a steady tone that belied the hesitance shown clearly in his eyes.

It’d been two days since the event in the living room, and while he’d come by West’s room once, he’d left with little fight when his best friend had turned him away. Nix figured that was his way of giving him space, that he really did feel guilty for his part in what transpired.

“West told you,” Nix reminded. He and West had made a deal. He’d put the plan in motion while the Demon dealt with reading the other two in.

Lake cocked his head, quiet again for another moment before, “You finally came out of his room.”

“I wasn’t hiding.” He was. One hundred percent.

“Were you that injured?” Lake’s gaze swept over him from head to toe.

Nix sighed. “If you were going to be this worried, why’d you let it happen in the first place?”

He wished he could pretend not to see it, that he could lie to himself and say Lake was faking it in an attempt to sway him, but he knew better. Lake so rarely emoted, when he did let his guard down, it was impossible not to notice.

“You seemed so calm,” Lake explained. “I thought you wanted it.”

“Did you?” He crossed his arms.

“Want is a strong word.”

“You think?”

Lake cursed low and glanced away, inhaled, and tried again. “I don’t know how to do this.”

“Do what?”

“Apologize.” He stared at him. “Beg for forgiveness.”

“You could start by getting on your knees.”

Lake’s eyes narrowed. “Don’t push your luck, Songbird.”

“You aren’t willing?” He took a deliberate step back. “Fine. Then—”

Lake grabbed onto his arm and then began to lower to the ground.

“Wait!” Nix caught him and pulled him back up, looking around to see if anyone had noticed. There were a couple of lingering students in the distance, but no one close enough. “Not here.”

“Didn’t you want to embarrass me?” Lake asked.

“Yeah, well, I changed my mind. I just told the whole school we’re on good terms, remember? I can’t have you kneeling in the dirt less than fifteen minutes after that.”

“If you were going to be this worried,” he parroted, “why’d you ask for it in the first place?”

“That isn’t funny.”

“I’m not trying to be. I’m merely pointing out that even if you’re angry with me, you still care.”

“I care about catching this asshole so we can finally put an end to this chapter,” he corrected. “It’s going to take more than an apology to get me to forgive how you just sat there and did nothing.”

It wasn’t.

Good Light. It really wasn’t.

The fact that Lake was here and sincerely trying was already starting to get to Nix, but he refused to play into those emotions. The two of them were tied together for the rest of their lives.

He could hold out for at least another day.

“Being fucked into unconsciousness isn’t exactly the worst punishment I can think of,” Lake stated then. “You seemed to be enjoying it, at least for the first hour or so.”

“He wasn’t just fucking me,” Nix sneered. “He kept putting his weight on my chest to smother me.”

Lake stilled. “What?”

“Yejun knew you wouldn’t notice, and he taunted me with that fact all the while. I kept struggling to breathe. Breath play? Not my thing. I don’t like feeling like I’m dying. And I didn’t like how unsure I was that you’d even stop him if he decided to crush me and end it for real.”

“I…” Lake had gone pale. “West called me an idiot, but I didn’t think…I was trying to assuage Yejun’s anger in what I’d deemed the safest way. If he needed to screw you to get over it, I thought it’d be the best option for both of you. Him, because he’d get it out of his system and ideally listen to our explanation, and you because sex has always been your weakness.”

“You did not just say that.”

“I’m not wrong.”

Reminded of how Yejun had called him a slut, Nix’s hands fisted at his sides.

Lake noticed but didn’t point it out, waiting for Nix to calm himself on his own.

“Since he dicked me down so good, I’d naturally forgive him for not being able to walk for over twenty-four hours, that’s what you’re telling me you believed?” Nix wanted to punch him, but refrained for the same reason he wouldn’t let him kneel. “You’re lucky we’re so close to catching this guy, otherwise I’d throw appearances to the wind and deck you.”

“You like sex,” Lake insisted, “and you like when it’s rough. You’re also the one who undressed and offered to spread your legs for him in the first place.”

“Is this an apology or an accusation?”

“Forgive me,” it sounded odd coming from him, but it caught Nix’s attention. “I feel like I have to keep apologizing to you, but I’ll do it if that’s what you need. I’m not good at relationships, Nix. I get scared you’re going to try and leave me, and then I react in ways I shouldn’t. I knew taking Yejun that many times in a row was hard on you, but I truly thought you and I were on the same page about it. I thought you’d made the suggestion for the same conclusions I came to.”

“I had,” Nix admitted. “But I hadn’t anticipated him trying to suffocate me, or how alone I would feel with you just sitting there watching and not doing anything to protect me.”

“I thought I was protecting you,” Lake said. “But…I see now I was wrong. I’m sorry, Songbird.” He took a tentative step closer. “I miss you. Will you please forgive me?”

Nix rubbed at his face. “I know that was hard for you, but that isn’t enough.”

“All right. Whatever you need, I’m willing to give it to you. But I’m not perceptive when it comes to romance. Guide me.”

“It’s not like I’m some expert,” Nix grumbled.

“Should we start with a date?” Lake suggested. “The art department's first gallery showing of the semester is this weekend. We have to attend to keep up appearances since one of Yejun’s pieces is showing. Go with me.”

Lake’s birthday happened to be this weekend as well, but he didn’t bring it up, so neither did Nix.

Nix considered the idea of a date. On the one hand, he wasn’t wrong. West had already reminded him about the gallery showing and how they all needed to be there on opening night, even if things between him and Yejun were terrible.

He avoided the Demon like the plague, and Yejun gave him the silent treatment when he wasn’t able to. It was an uncomfortable existence, and even though Nix was still a little afraid of him, he found himself wanting to mend things more and more as time passed. Yejun had been someone he could comfortably talk with about nothing in particular. It was relaxing and helped to take Nix’s mind off of the more serious happenings in his life.

West was great, but it was different with him. The two of them often spoke about computers and programming, or boxing, and how badly West wanted to get him back to training.

Lake…Lake had always made him feel safe somehow. Safe from the threats of others, at least. For the longest time, the Imperial was the only thing Nix truly felt like he had to worry about. But then he’d sat there while Yejun messed with him and done nothing, and it’d felt like Nix had been shoved into a reality he didn’t want to acknowledge.

“If I’m your mate,” Nix spoke before he could change his mind and chicken out, “then that’s it. I either am or I’m not. You can’t have it both ways. You can’t pick and choose when I’m yours and when you’ll support and protect me. I need to know I can rely on you, especially since you’re set to inherit the throne. I fell for Maestro. I want Maestro.”

When they’d first met, Lake had pushed him past his limits, but he’d been gentle about it. Caring, almost. Allowing Nix to adjust to having a viewer and, in many ways, helping him come into his own sexuality. Despite everything that had taken place between them since their groundwork, there had been an unexpected layer of desire and trust.

Nix had resigned himself to this future. To a life with the Demons, a life where he couldn’t find and choose a lover on his own. A life where he couldn’t decide where he lived, or who with. In some twisted ways, a lot of that had to do with exactly what Lake had accused him of.

Even if it was wrong, even if the rest of the world wouldn’t understand or call him pathetic, Nix liked the way Lake and the others made him feel. He liked that they tested him and pushed him.

“I need full honesty going forward,” Nix continued. “I understand why you all lied about…you know.” He wouldn’t risk saying it out loud in the open like this, but they both knew he was referring to the tall tale Lake had spun about the hacker and the Club House. “But you made me a part of this even when I didn’t want to be. That part is done. There’s no turning back for either of us. You have to let me in, Lake. I don’t want a life of half-truths and half-hearted attempts. The man I spend the rest of my life with has to be someone I confide in, and who confides in me. Without that—”

Lake kissed him before he could finish, his pillowy lips sealing over Nix’s, stealing his breath away. He was persistent yet coaxing, the tip of his warm tongue licking across the seam of his to urge them to part for him.

When Nix gave in and did just that, his tongue drove forward, eliciting a moan that vibrated straight down to Nix’s toes.

It was tender but intense, and through it, Nix felt Lake’s longing.

And his silent promise.

Nix was going to need him say it with words, but later. Right now, this could be enough.

He wrapped his arms around Lake’s neck and pulled him in closer, rumbling when the heat of his body licked against his skin and seemingly engulfed him.

Neither of them noticed passing students, how they whispered and giggled, or how some of them pulled out their multi-slates to sneak a photo. For a brief moment, nothing else existed but the two of them and this invisible thread knotting them tighter and tighter together.

Until it was no longer even a matter of not being able to escape for Nix.

It was that he didn’t want to.

For better or for worse, claiming mark or not, the Demon had ensnared him.

There was no going back.