Chapter 16

“So it’s Grady and Juri, right?” Yejun asked as they walked back to the Roost together, adjusting the large black portfolio he had hung over his left shoulder. He must have been coming from the art building. “The friends you mentioned after the dead Luk incident?”

“I spoke to them,” Nix didn’t bother confirming or denying it.

“And?”

He hesitated.

“I won’t stab either of them in the eye, Firebird,” Yejun drawled, rolling his eyes when Nix gave him a hard stare. “Fine. I won’t stab them anywhere, happy?”

Happy was a strong word, but whatever. “It was Grady. It was harmless though.”

Yejun snorted. “You believe that?”

“I believe he doesn’t like you and he wanted to try and get me to see you guys are assholes,” Nix said. “Using scare tactics was a lame approach, but he’s hardly dangerous.”

“According to Lake, you were pretty shaken up after what happened at the stables.”

“That wasn’t Grady.”

“Either there are multiple people messing with you, or your friend is lying. I don’t think I have to tell you which option is the most likely?”

“I trust him.” Nix didn’t really have much of a reason to, considering they hadn’t known each other all that long, but… “He’s always been upfront with me. I’ve known from the beginning he doesn’t like you.”

“And Juri?”

“He didn’t have any involvement.”

“Men keep flocking to you, Firebird,” he stated. “I’m not a fan. I also don’t trust any of them, especially not Juri. The Ferd family have been prominent figures in the Club for generations, and yet he and his brother chose to give that all up. Now, after fighting for his right to leave, he’s suddenly willing to come crawling back for a guy he barely knows?” Yejun clicked his tongue. “Not buying it.”

“What do you think he’s doing then?” Nix asked, because at this point, it was best to hear him out.

Yejun was the type of person who lingered on their emotions. He’d cling to the feeling, good or bad, and drown himself in it. That was part of what made him so dangerous. He could become hostile in a flash, but it would take longer for that fiery anger to burn away. Talking things out seemed to help him work through things quicker,

“I don’t agree,” Nix said. “But let’s pretend for a moment you’re right.”

Yejun came to a sudden stop and turned to set a steely look his way.

Before he could threaten him, Nix continued. “What’s it matter? I don’t want him back.”

“You don’t want us either.”

“I…” A vision of Yejun cleaning him up after that time in the art room, followed quickly by West cuddling him almost sweetly, and how Lake had draped an arm around his shoulders while they watched a movie the other day…All of that entered his mind and Nix was forced to acknowledge the truth he’d really rather keep hidden. “I don’t…not want you.”

It was clear Yejun hadn’t been expecting that. “Is this a confession?”

“I hate you all,” Nix stated, “but I also, maybe, like you all as well. If we’d met under different circumstances, if I wasn’t forced into your beds, maybe this could have been something real between us. Maybe I could even get behind dating three people instead of one. But that’s not how it happened. I wasn’t given a choice here, June. I have my pride, same as you do. I still need time, but I’m trying to accept this is my life now. Which means accepting that even when you three piss me off, you’re still who I’ll be going home to.”

“That your fancy way of saying you don’t intend to cheat?”

“I’m smarter than that.”

“True.” Yejun blew out a breath and shoved his hands into the front pockets of his black jeans. “If Juri makes a move on you—”

“I’ll tell him to back off.”

He tipped his head. “And if you change your mind? Seems like you can fall for someone fairly easily.”

“Don’t use my feelings for you against me. That isn’t fair. Besides, Juri wouldn’t resort to coercion the same way you three do.”

“You don’t know him that well, Firebird.”

“Fair, but I do know most people don’t start relationships this way. Out of everyone, you also have the least right to be this jealous. You’re the one fucking other people, remember? I’m sticking to the rules.”

“You said that didn’t bother you,” Yejun reminded.

“It doesn’t.” Not right now, in any case. Nix could see it becoming an issue for him down the line, but that was a problem for a future version of himself. At the moment, knowing there were other outlets for the Demon acted as a small comfort. “I’ve come more in the past month than I have my entire life. Please, keep sleeping around.”

“If anyone else said that, it would be sarcastic and bitter.” Yejun took a single step closer, his shoulders squared, expression tight as though Nix had told him something upsetting. “But you mean it, don’t you.”

He swallowed the sudden lump in his throat and retreated a step, covering it up by twisting on his heels and continuing the walk to the Roost. “This shouldn’t bother you. I’m saying it’s cool that you sleep around. You don’t have to worry about me getting in the way or complaining like some crossed lover.”

Yejun watched him closely as Nix walked backward in front of him, but his mood didn’t improve. “That makes me feel pathetic. Here I am, jealous over Juri, but you’re fine knowing I actively stick my dick in other people? I screw both men and women, Firebird.”

“I’m aware.”

“What if I give you something?”

Nix stopped and cocked his head. Admittedly, he hadn’t considered that. “I suppose I’m going to have to ask that you use protection when you’re with someone else.” He did draw the line at getting an STD from some random stranger.

“With others?” Yejun kept moving toward him. “But not with you?”

“We haven’t used protection so far,” he reminded.

“So what you’re really saying is,” Yejun captured his chin between two fingers and held his face steady, “you like feeling me come inside of you.”

He felt his cheeks heat and cleared his throat. “Something like that.”

“What are you two doing?” Lake was coming from the opposite direction, dressed in his waif uniform, tight black riding pants and a blood red polo shirt. The university crest was pinned to his belt, three ravens and crimson foxglove flowers ringed in gold. He looked like he should be plastered on a sports magazine cover.

“Wow, do you drool like that for all of us, or just him?” Yejun teased, but it was obvious this time he wasn’t offended by Nix’s interest in another. To Lake he said, “Coming back from practice?”

Lake nodded and the three of them met at the end of the bridge that led to the porch. “Did I interrupt something?”

“Nope,” Nix stated before Yejun could. “We were just discussing how I won’t be happy if I catch an STD.”

“There’s no fear of that from me,” he reassured. “I’m only intimate with you.”

“Make me feel like shit why don’t you,” Yejun growled, storming off toward the Roost. “Whatever. I’ve got work to do.”

Nix quirked a brow at his retreating back. “He’s been acting weird lately. What’s up with that?”

“He likes you,” Lake said, chuckling when Nix seemed skeptical. “He didn’t anticipate that either. June doesn’t get attached to things, so the fact that he feels guilty over his playboy ways means he’s struggling to come to terms with just how much he likes you.”

“Are you done for the day?” Nix changed the subject. There was nothing he could do either way, whether they all liked him or not, he was stuck with them, so there wasn’t really a point in talking about it at the moment.

The corner of his mouth tipped up knowingly, but Lake turned and began to lead the way across the bridge, keeping his stride even so they took their time. “Let’s change and then go over what we have again.”

They’d looked at the list of Kings West had given Lake a couple of times already. The name Nix had found in his cousin's chatlog had been there last year and three years before but was absent this one, meaning whoever he was, they’d already graduated. Nix had been surprised to learn that not even Lake knew the identities of all of the Kings, all of whom used a username on their accounts.

“We’ll need West in order to read Serendipity’s chat logs,” Nix stated as they entered the Roost. “Maybe there will be something in there that can help us identify him.”

“It’s doubtful,” Lake warned. “But we can try.”

“There’s really nothing else we can do.” Nix was out of ideas. It didn’t help that they had to beat around the bush when explaining things to the others. With each passing day, the guilt he felt grew bigger and bigger, and his frustration toward himself grew right along with it.

Accepting that this was his new reality was one thing, actually developing feelings for the Demons? That was idiotic. Only a fool would fall for his abusers, his jailer, and yet…

Lake turned suddenly, effectively cornering Nix against the wall to the right of the door. He planted a palm against the wood at the side of Nix’s head, and then brought his other hand to the spot between his brow, pressing there until Nix shook him off.

“You were scowling,” Lake said, voice low. “Why?”

“It’s nothing.” He tried to brush Lake’s arm away so he could walk past, but the Imperial wouldn’t budge. “Seriously?”

“You’ve been amicable lately,” he mentioned. “Should I be concerned?”

Nix gave him a dark look. “Concerned for what?”

“That maybe,” he stepped in closer, until they were standing chest to chest with the wall at Nix’s back holding him in place, “you’re plotting something you shouldn’t.”

He racked his brain for any signs he may have given the past week that could lead to that assumption, but there was nothing. “Aren’t you just suspecting me for no reason? I’ve been doing everything you tell me—”

“Yes,” Lake agreed. “You’ve been behaving. That’s…worrisome.”

Nix rolled his eyes. “Basically, what you’re saying is I’m damned if I do, damned if I don’t. What do you want from me? Do you want me to fight you every step of the way? If so, we’re both going to be exhausted and unhappy, and whoever this bastard is we’re after is going to get away. I don’t want that. Do you?”

“Lovers spat?” West appeared from the kitchen then, holding a small glass bowl filled with some type of nut. He plucked one out and popped it in his mouth, chewing as he eyed them with curiosity.

“I’m asking Nix if he plans on running,” Lake stated matter-of-factly.

West snorted. “He’s not a moron, your majesty. Have a little faith.”

“Exactly,” Nix jumped in and motioned toward the other Demon. “What he said.”

“Besides,” West shrugged, “if he tries, we can always break his legs.”

Nix blinked. “Wow.”

West winked at him, but he couldn’t tell if it was because the man was only teasing, or if he totally meant the threat and just didn’t see it as a big deal.

Nix shoved at Lake again and this time he took a single step back. “I’m not going to run. You know why.”

“It sounded like you were no longer certain about sticking with your original plan,” Lake pointed out, referring to Branwen. “If you don’t have that, I see no reason for you to willingly stick around. West is right, you’re clever. Clever enough to deceive us and put us into a false sense of security.”

“Where exactly is this coming from?” He’d thought they’d been having a fairly normal conversation up until they’d entered the Roost. Had that all been in his head? “Wait.” He held up a hand, frown returning tenfold. “This isn’t because you’re jealous, right? That would be stupid.”

When Lake merely stared back at him silently, Nix crossed his arms.

“For real?”

“What’s up?” West, who was still acting as spectator, asked around another mouthful of nuts.

“He’s jealous of Yejun,” Nix stated. “Which is honestly so hypocritical.”

“Why?” Lake cocked his head. “Are you going to lie and tell me the only reason you’re fucking him is because I told you to?”

“You did—”

“He asked if you liked it when he fills you up,” Lake’s voice darkened. “It was very obvious by the way you were looking at him that you do. That has nothing to do with me. But that’s not the real problem, is it? You know why that makes me nervous, and it’s got little to do with jealousy and everything to do with doubt. Even aware of the risks, you haven’t even attempted to distance yourself.”

Nix didn’t mean to, but his gaze swept toward West uncomfortably before he cleared his throat and turned back to Lake. “Can we not talk about this right now?”

“Why does it seem like you’re more afraid of me than of them?”

“Lake.” He was playing with fire here, and Nix didn’t understand why. The Imperial was the one who’d taken things to the extreme by biting him, yet now he was speaking cryptically in front of West—West, who was far too intelligent not to catch on there was a secret between them and wonder about it—as though it was no big deal if he discovered the truth.

Maybe they should just come clean. Just put it out there that Branwen and Iris were one and the same. At least then Nix could stop feeling this ridiculous guilt, and with any luck, the three of them could more openly search for whoever Serendipity was.

“Sounds like you need to get laid, brother,” West quipped, laughing when that earned him a glare from Lake. “What? Bad joke?”

Reminded of yet another secret that he was keeping, Nix lowered his gaze.

“Come on,” West motioned over his shoulder with his chin. “I made lunch.”

Nix went to take a step after him when the Demon returned to the kitchen, but Lake grabbed onto his arm.

“To be clear,” Lake said, “I don’t trust Juri Ferd. I don’t like that the two of you are developing a friendship, even if I understand that his loyalty toward you might one day prove useful.”

“How did you know…?” Yejun. Nix yanked his arm away. “Are you guys keeping tabs on me?” He’d known, of course, but not that it was to that extreme. “Yejun was there. Why did he even need to text you?”

“To keep me informed,” Lake replied. “And given your reaction, I think it’s safe to say if he hadn’t, you weren’t planning to.”

“Why would I?” he shot back. “Do I seriously need to give you a list of every single person I speak with on a daily basis?”

“Yes.”

“You’re smothering me.” Nix ran a hand through his hair. “I’m trying my best here. I’m trying my best to adjust to your stupid world and your stupid rules. Can’t you at least attempt to do the same and give me some breathing room?”

“Do you chide the others the same way you chide me?”

“No.” He mostly said it because he was annoyed, but when Lake broke out in a satisfied smirk, he gaped. “Why are you happy about that?”

“Because it’s proof you still show me a side of yourself that’s just for me.” In a better mood all of a sudden, Lake brushed past him. “Let’s see what West made for lunch.”

“He’s a fucking lunatic,” Nix muttered under his breath.

Between Yejun and Lake’s jealousy, he wasn’t sure how he was going to make it long-term with them. Unfortunately, West was right about Nix being too smart to still think running was an option.

Cursing under his breath, Nix went after them.

Because he was hungry, and it wasn’t like there was anything else for him to do.