Chapter 20

CHAPTER TWENTY

“I found them,” I said, and showed Ida Belle and Gertie the image.

“An award gift,” Ida Belle said. “That means they’re probably real and possibly even a custom job.”

Gertie nodded. “Even if they were mass produced, would her friends rush out and buy a pair of earrings like she received for an award? That’s not exactly tacky but it’s tacky adjacent.”

“Yeah, I don’t see any of them doing that. So Brittany is our earring loser.”

“Thank God, we found her,” Ida Belle said. “I was afraid Gertie was going to track down those young people and start asking them if Justin’s business meeting equipment was accessorized.”

Gertie didn’t protest, which was a bit concerning, but thankfully, not something I needed to worry about anymore. My focus now was trying to get enough on Brittany to force an investigation. A real investigation. Not a Bryce farce.

“So we have motive for going after the earring,” I said. “The ability to make that climb, and Brittany was downstairs and wet. I think we have one part of this mystery solved. ”

Ida Belle shook her head. “I didn’t want to believe it was her. I hate that she was cheating on Daniel. He seems like a nice young man and Justin sounded like anything but.”

“There’s no accounting for animal attraction,” Gertie said. “Look at me and Jeb. You glance at him and think ‘just a shriveled old man,’ but boy is he a dynamo?—”

“No.” Ida Belle reached over and grabbed a Bible off the dresser. “Do I have to perform an exorcism to get you to stop?”

“You know that hotel Bible isn’t enough to take me,” Gertie said. “So what now?”

“We connect the Bryce dots on the guy wanting to buy Corndog and Petunia’s house,” I said.

I pulled up the business card Corndog had sent me for the prospective ‘buyer’ and did a search on the name. I got a hit on social media and clicked over to see what he had going on in his feed. It didn’t take two clicks of the mouse to find a picture of the buyer and Bryce at a fishing tournament.

Ida Belle gave the picture a disgusted look. “Well, we figured that was the case, but I guess it helps to have proof.”

I blew out a breath. Yes, it was proof that the buyer had gotten his intel from Bryce, but could I prove Bryce was threatening Corndog with charges in an attempt to force them into a fire sale? I didn’t believe for a minute that the DA was going to go for his plan, but when rumors of Corndog accidentally killing a guest circulated, they’d probably lose enough business to put the house on the chopping block anyway. Bryce’s friend might not want it at a fair price, but if they were forced to sell later, even at a higher price, that still meant they’d be homeless.

And that sucked huge.

But for the life of me, I couldn’t figure out a way around the rumors that were bound to fly. The only permanent fix I could see was proving that someone else killed Justin—accidentally or intentionally—or that Justin made the mistake himself. Talk about an impossible situation.

“I really wish I could see the ME’s report,” I said. “Even if he didn’t do an autopsy, the details might help.”

“We could break in?—”

I shook my head. “Bryce knows we’re in the area. He’ll be expecting me to make that sort of move.”

Gertie put her hand in the air and gave me a ‘so what’ look. “You just sneaked into Iran and freed Carter from a compound occupied by terrorists, and not even the DOD can prove you were there. Am I supposed to believe that you can’t evade Bryce Benoit?”

“She has a point,” Ida Belle said.

“You think I should break into the ME’s office?” I asked her.

She shrugged. “It’s not usually my first suggestion, but desperate times, you know?”

I frowned. “Let me think on it. It would have to be late, anyway. Midnight or after, so it wouldn’t interfere with our plans for tonight. But just in case I lose all common sense and get desperate, I think we should do some reconnaissance.”

I looked up the ME’s office and found the location in a single structure in the middle of town.

“Looks like it’s located in a medical district, of sorts,” I said. “A hospital and a bunch of labs and clinics branch out over a couple of blocks, with a few eateries thrown in.”

I shut my laptop.

“Let’s go take a look,” I said. “I can only get so much from satellite, and if I’m going to do this, I need to know where every security camera is, and we need to find a meetup place and plan alternate escape routes.”

“If it’s a medical district, there’s going to be cameras everywhere,” Ida Belle said. “Too many break-ins by drug seekers for them not to be covered.”

I nodded. “I know. But they can’t be any worse than terrorists, right?”

Gertie clapped her hands. “We haven’t done any breaking and entering in a while.”

“We broke into the Catholic church to put those chicken poop candies from the Easter debacle into Celia’s stash just a couple weeks ago,” Ida Belle said.

“Technically, we didn’t ‘break,’” Gertie said. “Father Michael let us in, so we just entered, which isn’t illegal when you’re invited. And since the candies were perfectly okay other than having been inside plastic eggs that chickens sat on, I don’t see where any charges can be applied on that one either.”

“So unless you can go to jail for it, it doesn’t count,” I said and popped up. “Got it.”

Gertie attempted to jump up as well, but her knee gave out on her and she promptly fell back onto the chair.

Ida Belle shook her head. “We are not carrying you out to the vehicle.”

“You go get the car,” I said. “I’ll meet you at the side entrance with Gertie.”

Ida Belle headed out, still shaking her head.

“You can’t carry me out of here,” Gertie said. “Not that I don’t think you could manage it, but because it will attract attention. We’re supposed to be undercover.”

“Now you’re worried about being undercover?”

Gertie crossed her arms. “I don’t want Corndog and Petunia to lose their house, and if it means I have to sit here by myself in this room for that to happen, then that’s what I’ll do. I’ll complain about it every chance I get for the next year or so, but you’ll live. ”

I grinned and headed for the closet. “Don’t worry, I have an idea.”

I pulled the wooden closet rod out and cracked it across my knee.

“Give me the rest of that adhesive bandage that you put on your knee,” I said.

I wrapped the splintered section of the closet rod with the bandage, then presented it to Gertie.

“There you go—a cane.”

Gertie’s confused expression cleared and she smiled. “Perfect.”

“I don’t know about perfect, but it will do until we can stop at the pharmacy and get you a real one.”

I helped Gertie up from the chair, made sure she was steady with the cane, then grabbed her other arm and we headed out. It wasn’t the fastest I’d ever walked, but we still managed to get there without incident. Ida Belle was already parked next to the curb when we arrived.

“Nice,” Ida Belle said when she spotted the makeshift cane.

“I figure we can pick up the real deal on the way back,” I said. “We should probably keep one in the SUV with the other supplies.”

“I keep saying we should get a walker or one of those portable wheelchairs,” Ida Belle said.

“Sure, it’s funny when you’ve got two good knees,” Gertie said. “But neither of you had to get down on that floor.”

“I could have done it,” I said.

“You don’t count,” Gertie said. “Your knees are young.”

Ida Belle raised one eyebrow. “So you’re saying your knees are old?”

“Forget it,” Gertie groused, and Ida Belle and I laughed.

It was a short drive to the medical district, and I started making note of cameras, streetlights, and parking. When we turned onto the street with the ME’s office, I grabbed Ida Belle’s arm.

“Parking lot! Now!” I yelled.

Ida Belle made a quick turn into a parking lot and pulled to the back before stopping.

“What the heck was that?”

“Bryce was coming out of the ME’s office,” I said.

“Crap,” Ida Belle said. “I didn’t even see him.”

“His car was at the curb. Inch forward so we can see if he’s gone.”

She moved to the entrance and I scanned the street. No sign of the sheriff’s car.

“Looks like we’re in the clear,” I said. “Do a slow pass. I want to video the street to review later on.”

She pulled out of the parking lot and crept down the street while I filmed both sides. The ME’s office was in the middle of the street and in keeping with older construction, the building walls were shared with no walkways between.

“There must be an alley,” Gertie said. “They’re not hauling dead bodies out here in the middle of the road.”

Ida Belle turned right at the end of the street, and I yanked a ball cap out of her glove box.

“Pick me up at the other end,” I said and jumped out while she was still moving.

I hurried for the back of the buildings, then kept close to the side, figuring the scattered landscaping and trash cans would give me a bit of cover. I kept my head down and the hat pulled low as I went, making sure none of the cameras got a clear shot of me. Not that I expected Bryce to check them—that might mean doing some actual police work—but anything was possible.

When I reached the ME’s building, I spotted the camera in the corner and smiled as it rotated. A simple setup and an easy one to avoid. You simply positioned yourself outside of the range and moved when it did until you reached the back door. Alarm systems were a different beast, but I hadn’t seen any signs indicating there was one. That seemed odd given that the ME’s office handed out homicide edicts, but then they didn’t carry opioids, and that was probably the main thrust of break-ins in this area. There probably weren’t many people looking to read an autopsy report and even fewer looking to steal a body. Satisfied, I headed for the other end of the street and jumped into the SUV as Ida Belle slowed.

“A toddler could work around the camera,” I said. “And I didn’t see any indication of a security system, so not sure on that count. But even if there is one, it’s probably crap. Most of them are.”

“Says the woman whose home is geared up like a terrorist compound,” Ida Belle said. “But that’s good for us.”

I nodded. “There’s a pharmacy on the next block. We can pick up a cane for Gertie while we’re there. And restock the first aid kit.”

Ida Belle pulled up to the curb in front of the pharmacy and I hopped out. “I can get everything. Do you need anything besides our supplies?”

“A couple of sodas, maybe?” Gertie said. “The hotel wants four dollars a can.”

“Yikes,” I said. “Okay, be right back.”

I hurried inside, grabbed a basket, and collected sodas, bandages, and more adhesive tape. Then I tossed in some chips and a large bag of M&M’s as well since I figured we’d eat the banana pudding before the dance, and I always had the munchies after an undercover job. This covered salty and sweet, so I was set.

I had just picked out a hot pink cane when I heard a voice behind me .

“I know what you’re up to.”

I turned around and gave Bryce a big smile as I held up the cane. “Buying medical supplies? Is that against the law?”

“Stop pretending you’re here for any other reason than trying to pin that guy’s death on someone other than Corndog.”

“I will as soon as you stop pretending you’re not trying to railroad Corndog for that death so that your buddy can steal their house.”

His eyes widened, and I could tell he was a bit panicked that I’d caught onto him and his friend’s maneuvering so quickly.

“Word gets around on things like this,” he said. “Small towns. You know how they operate. If someone wants to make an offer on their house, that’s not against the law.”

“It is if they’re colluding with you to force them into a sale.”

“Who’s colluding? The guy died from eating peanut oil. Corndog made a mistake. That’s the simple truth of it, whether you want to believe it or not. So why don’t you stop pretending you’re vacationing or need medical supplies right down the road from the ME’s office, and head back to Sinful, where your boyfriend covers for you.”

“So let me get this straight. You think I stopped in a pharmacy to buy a cane and bandages because there’s a portal into the ME’s office here? It so happens that we are on vacation and hit that silly bar with the cursing laws this afternoon. Gertie slipped, had to sit, and torqued her knee. Since she plans on antiques shopping tomorrow, I’m trying to fix her up.”

He rolled his eyes. “Does anyone really buy those stories of yours? ”

“Okay, then tell me how shopping here gets me anything to do with your case. I’ll wait.”

He stiffened and I knew I’d struck a nerve. Because the reality was, there wasn’t anything to be gained by my being in the pharmacy, buying these items, except for the reason I’d stated.

“Tell you what,” I said. “If I’m doing something illegal, go ahead and arrest me. Oh, wait. You’re not ‘real’ police. You paid for that badge like you bought it off eBay.”

His jaw clenched. “I have jurisdiction over the entire parish. I can arrest you if I want to.”

“Then do it or let me finish my shopping. I assume the Houma PD isn’t going to be very happy about you harassing visitors over trumped-up misdemeanors and conspiracy theories. But hey, roll the dice.”

His face turned red, and he whirled around and stomped off. I shook my head. The man was exhausting. No wonder his parents had moved away as soon as they were legally able. They’d created an incompetent, obnoxious monster and wanted to be rid of him. Or given that he’d likely been molded after them, maybe they considered him too much competition.

“Have a great day, Bryce!” I called after him.

He didn’t even pause.

By 7:00 p.m. I was in my dress and a pair of silver heels I owned from a previous shopping trip with Ronald for a past adventure. The wig had been brushed to perfection and I had to admit, worked well with the dress and my tan. Gertie had ‘tarted me up’—whatever that meant—with her makeup, even though most of my face would be hidden behind the mask.

I’d cruised the online yearbook until I found a student that I didn’t figure would attend. She was pictured exactly once—no clubs, no groups, no sports, and apparently, no friends because she didn’t attend a single school social event either—and the one photo pictured a sad, frumpy-looking girl who wouldn’t even look directly into the camera. I’d managed to track her down to MIT for college and found that she was now a data analyst for a corporation in Japan. She had zero social media and no family left in Houma that I could find.

On the surface, she appeared to be the perfect duckling-to-swan cover.

I put the mask in place and headed out a little after seven. People were allowed to check in starting at six thirty, but I wanted to slip in a little after the crowd. The fewer eyes on me in direct overhead light, the better. But I wanted to get there in time for the opening greeting because I figured someone would talk about Justin’s death. If people were going to dish the dirt on him, it was going to be then.

Ida Belle and Gertie would slip out then, too, and get in position in the SUV and set up the microphone. Hopefully, they wouldn’t run into any of the group. I’d originally planned for them to get into place in the dark, but when I found the info for the reunion online and saw that the greeting was at 7:15, I figured I needed to get them into place earlier because people who hadn’t heard the news already might slip outside to talk right after the announcement, especially if the music started and it was hard to hear inside.

Once Ida Belle and Gertie were in the vehicle, the window tint provided them complete coverage. If they found they were blocked by large vehicles, they could move right in front of the smoking area, and no one would know they were sitting there. But I was hoping they’d be able to keep their distance since the friends might recognize the SUV.

I eased into the lobby from the hallway and peered around the corner toward the meeting room. Two women sat at the table handing out tags, and I breathed a sigh of relief that Brittany wasn’t one of them. So far, so good. I waited until they finished with a large group, then hurried over when the table was empty.

“Janice Millner,” I said.

Game on.