7. Justine

"Come on, baby, talk to me. What's wrong?"

"What's wrong? The hell do you mean what's wrong? Look at her. I know it usually takes you about a day and a half to turn them stupid, but this is a record even for you."

"Hush, Monique. Baby?" He waved his hand in front of my face, and I looked around at the three of them before going back to my eggs.

"Tell my family I want to be cremated. Tell my sister Janet she can have those pearl earrings Nana gave me and tell the boys, my brothers, tell them that I love them and my babies…."

‘Oh no, you ain't bitch. You ain't about to lose your mind before we get a taste a that dick. Snap your ass clear out of it.' Thwack.

Justice, what the fuck?

"Babe, why are you hitting yourself in the head?" I looked up at Marcus and then over at Monique, who was shaking her head.

"Poor thing, you weren't showing off your bank account again, were you?"

"I only did that with that consulate prick in Myanmar."

"So why….? Is she dickmatized? Carl, you take a look; you're the one with medical experience."

"And how pray do tell do I diagnose dickmatization?" He turned to me after answering her with his nose in the air.

"Ma'am, I take it that you're not sure that this is real, that he is real. I assure you that he is. I know your father was in the military; I'm ex-Navy myself."

"How did you….?"

"It's my business to know these things. Mr. Devereaux guessed that you might be worried about your children. They are at your mother-in-law's home at three-seven-three Eastwood Lane."

"Her mother-in-law is dead. Ex-mother-in-law, ex." Marcus made that distinction before turning back to the stove in his frilly apron.

"Does he do this a lot? Pick up strange women, I mean."

"No, this is the first time I've seen it in fifteen years," Carl answered, and I looked at Monique for confirmation. She's like my tribe; she won't bullshit me.

"He's done some crazy shit, but I don't think I've ever seen him this nuts over a woman before. It must be the real thing. Tell him to give me his new Phantom, and I'll tell you all his secrets."

"Give her your Phantom."

"I'll get you your own and Monique, no."

"Why not?" She actually pouted.

"Because it is illegal for someone with your intellect to get behind the wheel of a car," Carl answered with a straight face.

"Eat shit and die, you old sea dog."

"Time out, both of you, or you can go sit in the sand."

"You must be out your damn mind. You know how much you paid for these shoes?" She cocked one of her heels to the side, and I got a glimpse of the snakeskin red-bottomed shoe.

"No, I try not to pay too much attention to your highway robbery. Though I think Carl is keeping a tab."

"Two-hundred and fifty-three thousand…." She threw something across the table at him, but I wasn't sure what it was.

Justice was sitting up in his seat with his chin on the table, enjoying the show. ‘I like her. She's my kinda girl. We're going to do lots of naughty things together.'

Your ass gonna end up in jail or the madhouse.

Either way, we fucking, either way.

* * *

Marcus madeMonique her eggs and brewed another pot of coffee because Carl seemed to need it intravenously. He kept casing the place like he was on twenty-four-seven alert. "You two ready? Monique, take notes." She opened her bag and pulled out a notepad and a felt pen. I haven't seen one of those in years.

She saw me looking and explained. "Oh, Che Guevara over here don't like me to take electronic notes."

"Why not?" I stupidly asked.

"You can eat paper or burn it. Everything you put in those devices leaves a trail." Marcus answered as he refilled everyone's mugs.

He went through pretty much everything we had discussed so far about my divorce and the three of them were discussing the best course of action and who would take care of what.

I felt like I was standing outside a big-picture window watching a play being enacted. This whole thing was so far out of the realm of my norm that it wasn't even slightly plausible. And yet, I could almost feel like it was happening.

My husband is rich, not life-changing for the long run rich. But if he stayed in his job for a good few more years, he'd be able to retire without a worry. This wasn't that. I've never seen what this is before, not up close and personal.

Was I to believe that this man, who was not only wealthy but handsome, was interested in me? An almost divorced mother of three? I started laughing and couldn't stop, and each time I looked at Monique's face, I laughed harder; it was even worse when I looked at Carl, and I dared not look at Marcus.

"I told you about springing your shit on the unexpecting? She's going into shock."

"She'll have to get used to it, Monique. Now, pay attention. The first thing I want to get started on is the daycare. Justine is the only one of us who's been local for a while so we'll let her do the hiring of the staff."

"Carl, you'll run the background checks as usual."

"That's like sending a fox into the henhouse."

"And what's that supposed to mean?" Carl seemed a bit affronted at Monique's assertion.

"It means that sending a criminal to fish out other criminals might not be such a smart move."

"Listen, you infuriating pain in the ass."

"Why don't you two just go to bed with each other already and put me out of my misery?"

‘That's what I'm saying. The tension is just….

Shut up, Justice. This is not your circus. These are not your monkeys.

"Eww, gross!" Justine turned her face and turned up her nose.

"I'd as soon fuck a wallowing walrus." Carl deadpanned, which set me off again, which had Marcus coming to my side to rub his hand up and down my back while the three of them muttered and pointed at each other over my head until Marcus made a slashing motion across his throat and the other two stopped bickering.

"I guess this isn't the right time to talk about the wedding." I started to hyperventilate at his words, and he freaked. "Okay, babe, we'll hold off on that." Monique shook her head and kissed her teeth.

"I knew you were spending too much time with those Orangutans. You've reverted back to your cave-dwelling days. The woman hasn't even been divorced yet; she just found out that her husband is a cheating scumbag, and you're hitting her with all this?"

"Not to mention, I thought she had to be a dog if he was leaving her for that horse-face mutant, only to find out she's ten times as hot, and you don't think she's got issues to work through that's more important than your wedding?"

"And what the hell are you worried about? That old woman is going to plan your wedding down to the asphalt in the damn driveway of whatever place she terrorizes into giving her precious baby everything he wants."

"You leave my Grandma outta your mouth, or I'll tell her you've been talking mean about her again."

"And? What's she gonna do? Ring my ears again? That's another thing, Justine, don't let that old lady get anywhere near your ears. Her nails haven't been clipped since the great depression, and that shit hurts."

Why is this my life? Why did I have to meet these wonderful people at this time in my life? I would love to have been friends with Monique and get to know the ice-cold Carl and the hot and sexy but crazy Marcus.

"What time are you two supposed to get him back to the institution?"

"Like they would have him. I'm sorry to burst your bubble, but this is the shit I have been putting up with for the last five years, and it isn't going to get any better. So buckle up and decide…. No, wait, let me not give you any false hope." She leaned in as if she was about to share some top secret.

"If you're into making your own decisions and having a mind of your own, you can forget it. That crustacean fool probably already imagined a thousand ways to keep you protected. You should suck up as much sunshine as you can now because I see a lot of homeward-bound days in your future."

"Monique, I'll cut your pay in half."

"I'll sell your drawers on Only Fans; try me. You know I'll make bank."

"Don't listen to her, babe; I'm not that bad."

"My ass. Carl? What does he do to things he loves?"

"Hoard."

"That's right. I don't know how you hoard a human, but his groundhog ass would dig a hole and bury you in it. At least this hole would probably be lined with gold, and the nuts would be top shelf."

"If you two are his wingmen, you're not doing a very good job of it." Marcus removed the plate with the now cold omelet and replaced it with a fresh one, this time with onion, bacon, and cheese. I had to smile because what the fuck else was I gonna do? Cry?

In ten years, my husband had made me breakfast in bed once, and that was when I was too sick to get up and make it myself.

"He doesn't need wingmen. He's usually beating the women off with a stick, and that's before they know about his worth."

"I can see that."

"Some of them I beat off with a stick because two assholes are just too much. He's already a pain in the ass, but some of those females that are trying to get into his pockets start acting ignorant as soon as he gives them some dick. I don't know what the hell is so…."

"Monique, I will straight up strangle you and carry you out to sea."

"Fine, this one doesn't look crazy, but if she turns out to be, you're on your own."