4. Justine

If he's not crazy, I am. What the hell am I doing sitting on a beach in the middle of the night with a complete stranger, laughing my ass off as we shared our second joint?

I have to say, this is not how I expected my night to end. I thought for sure I'd be curled up in a ball, bawling my eyes out and mourning the death of my marriage.

"You know, you're pretty cute."

"Cute?" He showed me his muscles, which made me howl with laughter for some reason, and roll around on the blanket I'd grabbed from inside the beach house when we arrived.

"No, seriously, thanks for this. I haven't laughed this much since I don't know when." Cute, my ass, he's hot, and this weed is kicking in, and I refuse to give my soon-to-be ex-used tampon the satisfaction of being a dirty cheat like him.

"I know that look. Let me put your mind at ease. I won't fuck you until you sign the divorce papers. Five minutes after you sign them or however long it takes to get from the courthouse to the nearest hotel, that's when I'm going to fuck you for the first time."

He actually had the balls to smile at me under the moonlight after saying that shit. Don't stop get it, get it. No-no-no Justice, you man whore, keep your drawers on. We will not revert back to our high school days. Shake that ass, girrrrl, make that coochie wet.

"Why are you twitching around like that?

Have mercy; turn those eyes that way.

"No reason, I'm trying to distract my slutty twin."

"You've got a twin? Where is she?"

"He!" I pointed at my head, "He lives in there. He likes to embarrass me, so if you see me acting different, it's him, not me, and I am not responsible for anything he does or says."

"A twin, huh? I'd like to meet him."

"You did earlier tonight. He's the one with the Pogo stick up the ass." Now, it was his turn to laugh.

"And here I was imagining what else we could fit up there once I get you going."

"No sir, you will not be getting anywhere near my ass. You may not have noticed, but ever since you took off your tuxedo jacket and laid down on this blanket, I've been trying to figure out if a cottonmouth snake slid up your pants leg or if that thing is real." Fuck you, Justice, for saying that shit with my mouth.

‘Bitch that's all you.'