Chapter 22

TWENTY-TWO

SILAS

I'd had a visceral reaction to seeing Way injured. When he'd come riding in, holding his arm against his front and sagging in the saddle, jagged black rings had narrowed my vision, and my head had taken on a distant, staticky quality.

I'd tried to hide my shaking hands as I'd undressed him for the shower, tensing more and more with every injury uncovered. Seeing the strong cowboy so vulnerable had made me angry because there was little I could do to make it better, to ease his pain. It had also scared the fuck out of me. What if he'd been trampled? What if he'd hit his head on a rock or tree?

As I made my way back to the barn after leaving him in bed, I felt a sick churning in my stomach. Seeing Dev's familiar face helped calm me down, but then I noticed the tight clench of Sheridan's jaw and the nervous blinks ZuZu shot in my direction. If Way's own sisters were worried, with all of their ranching experience, it meant this wasn't common.

After assuring everyone he was safely tucked up in bed, we jumped right back into the work of moving horses. There seemed to be an unspoken agreement to get through it as quickly as possible, which must have contributed to the smooth teamwork for the rest of the afternoon.

I had to remind myself that with the prescription pain meds on board, Way would most likely sleep the rest of the day. I'd left a water bottle and radio within reach in case he woke up, but I knew all he would want was to know his work had been completed and done well.

It was almost fully dark by the time the final horse trailer pulled away. Sheridan and ZuZu took off immediately in the direction of Way's little house while Dev, Taza, and I stayed back to settle the remaining horses for the night and close up the barn.

I'd felt Dev's eyes on me all afternoon, and I'd hoped to hell he didn't say out loud what he was thinking.

My hopes were in vain.

When I was finally able to head out to my vehicle, Dev followed me. "He's not Justin."

I closed my eyes and counted to ten. "I know that."

"You're allowed to like him. You're allowed to more-than-like him."

"It's not like that. I'm not looking for a relationship."

His eyes stayed on mine as Taza exited the barn and walked past to his truck, calling out a goodnight. Once he'd driven off, Dev took a breath.

"Silas. Waylon Fletcher is a good man. I've been here forty-eight hours, and already I know that with my whole self."

"Agreed," I bit out. "Your point? You looking for a boyfriend? Because Taza?—"

Instead of getting angry, my serious friend laughed. "I know all about Taza. He's a baby. And, no. I'm not looking for a boyfriend. But if one fell onto my damned ring finger and turned out to be as solid and here for it as Way was… well, I'm not sure I'd be able to ignore such a strong sign."

"He's not here for it," I corrected. "He's in love with his childhood sweetheart." Or he didn't know if he was, which was close enough to the same thing.

Dev's forehead crinkled. "You sure about that? Because I see the way he is with you. Besides, Sheridan mentioned Eden and said she was glad they didn't end up together after all. She said she's never seen him the way he is with you and that he was never like that with Eden."

I hated the little spike of a thrill that gave me. "Doesn't matter. It's not like I'm going to move out here and become a rancher. My life is back in the city. I love my work."

Dev's smile returned. "And thank god for that since money is so tight. How would you even begin to balance your consulting workload with spending time with the man you love?"

"I don't love Waylon Fletcher!" I hissed. For some reason, it sounded more wishful thinking than actual fact.

"You sure seem intent on pretending you don't," he agreed. "Why, Silas? You that eager to be alone forever?"

I glared at him. "Devon, if I had a mirror, I'd hold it up to your face right now."

"Deflecting now, are we?" He sighed. "I admit, after everything with my brother, it's been easier to spend time with horses than people. But again—and this is a pretty fucking important distinction, Silas— I am not the one who got drunk and tripped into marriage with a hot cowboy who also happens to be a good guy. Just give it a chance, that's all I'm saying. Don't reject this opportunity because Justin fucking Hardy made you doubt yourself. Don't let that asshole steal something else from you."

For the first time in a long time, mention of Justin didn't make my gut tighten and my anger spike. My ex was simply a pathetic human being. A user who would never have a happy and fulfilled life. Maybe that was punishment enough for his behavior.

As I drove back to the house, I had to admit I did want a happy life. I wanted companionship and love. But it would take a long time for me to learn to trust someone.

You trust Way.

Maybe. Maybe I wanted to trust Way. But I knew I could no longer trust my own damned judgment.

I trusted Dev, though. What if he was right? What if there was something real between me and Way? Could I at least let myself relax and enjoy the remaining weeks I had here with him and then figure out the future in July?

When I pulled up, Sheridan and ZuZu were stepping out of the front door.

"How is he?" I asked.

"Naked," ZuZu said with a laugh at the same time Sheridan said, "Ornery."

I'd forgotten that I'd put him to bed straight from the shower with no clothes. "Shit, sorry. My fault. He was kind of out of it before."

Sheridan waved my words away. "Seems mostly banged up, but nothing too bad. I got him to drink a protein thing. I can bring you guys something for dinner if you?—"

"No, no," I said. "It's late. I'll have a bowl of cereal or a sandwich. Go and rest. Thanks for all your help out there."

Her face brightened. "We did good, didn't we?"

I nodded. "Got it done. He'll be able to rest easier now."

"It's a cute house, isn't it?" ZuZu gazed at the house with a soft smile, reminding me that his sisters didn't usually—or maybe ever —venture beyond the front door. "Very Way. Kind of unassuming on the outside, but on the inside…"

"Yeah," I grunted. "It's special." He was special.

Sheridan stepped closer and clasped my upper arms. "Thanks for everything. You really showed up this weekend, and we can't thank you enough for that."

I wanted to say something trite, something like, "That's what family's for," but the words stuck on my tongue. Instead, I nodded again.

"Get some rest yourself," she added before squeezing my arms and joining ZuZu in her SUV and pulling away.

I entered the little house. No noise came from the bed nook, so I snuck past it to the bathroom and took another quick shower before drying off and climbing into bed with him.

I'd considered finding someplace else to sleep so I didn't accidentally hurt Way. But the truth was, I couldn't bring myself to leave him. I wanted to touch him, assure myself of his presence, and be there if he needed me.

"Silas?" His voice was muffled by the pillow. His hair stuck up in wild tufts from where he'd fallen asleep with it wet.

"I'm here. Go back to sleep."

He settled back down. A bare shoulder peeked out from the covers, so I reached out a fingertip to brush across it.

He turned his head and met my eyes. Unspoken words flowed between us, soft and languid. My heart slowed until it felt like it was drunk and half-numb, like that moment of euphoric comfort just before sleep.

"Hi," he whispered.

I couldn't keep myself from kissing him. Just a slow peck was all I needed, but as soon as my lips touched his, I couldn't stop with one. I kissed him over and over again, keeping it as gentle as possible so I wouldn't disturb his comfort.

He murmured my name again and again, the words warm against my mouth… and then the words changed.

"Let me inside you," he breathed. "Please."

Despite my raging erection, despite my desperate desire to be as close to him as possible, I pulled away from him. "You're injured. You need rest."

"Can't rest. Want you. Please let me have you, have this. Please."

His blue eyes caught the moonlight coming in through the window. There was nothing false or unsure in them, only genuine, vulnerable want .

My control was slipping. He was impossible to say no to. "You're on pain meds."

"That was hours ago. I know what I'm asking for, Silas."

He was right. The meds had been taken at least six hours ago. My control disintegrated when he reached down and palmed my cock.

"Fuck," I groaned.

Way moved closer and kissed my chest, and the tip of his tongue brushed against my skin before he moved his mouth down to wrap his tongue around my nipple. I sucked in a breath.

His hands skimmed across my skin, and I didn't see any evidence of his pain. Would it be possible for him to fuck me without hurting himself…

"Jesus fuck," I said on a gasp as he moved his hands down to my balls. I couldn't continue looking out for him if this was the way he was going to make his case. It was too good. Too hot and tempting.

"Yes," I breathed. "Don't want to hurt you."

"Mmm," he said between teasing pulls on my nipple. "Little pain's okay, husband."

The word reached into my gut and tightened everything. My dick jerked under his hand, and my balls drew up. I bit out a curse before turning to find the lube on his bedside shelf. I wondered idly if his sisters had seen it, had guessed at the hours of play we'd already shared, jacking and fingering each other.

"Let me," he said, reaching to take the bottle from my hands. Two nights earlier, he'd spent twenty minutes searching for just the right spot inside me, and as soon as I'd let out a long, drawn-out groan acknowledging the hit, he'd beamed like he'd earned a damned rodeo buckle.

It seemed he wanted to be a hero again, and I was definitely not going to keep him from glory.

As his hand moved down between my legs, his mouth returned to my chest and abs, dropping wet kisses as he moved down. "Open your legs." As his slick finger traced a circle around the sensitive skin of my hole, I tried to relax. It was nearly impossible since my heart was racing and my brain was spinning. His finger pressed inside and began moving in and out, seeking and stretching.

"Way." I ran my fingers into his messy hair, clenching them into a fist to hold on to him without tugging or pulling. He continued to tease me with his mouth and fingers until I could barely keep it together. "Gonna come like this."

"No you're not. You're going to come on my cock. You're going to come with me inside you."

I tilted my head back, closed my eyes, and gritted my teeth. "Do it, then. I need you. Fucking fuck, Waylon. Please."

He moved between my legs, the skin of his hips warm against the inside of my thighs. "Knees up, sweetheart. That's it. So good."

Way's words were spoken softly under his breath, as if he didn't even realize he was saying them out loud. A green sliver of jealousy washed over me as I wondered if this was how he'd spoken to Eden when he'd fucked her, too.

"Look at me, husband," he growled.

My eyes snapped to his instinctively.

"Silas Concannon." His hand moved up to rest on the center of my chest. His eyes bored into me. "I have fucked exactly four people in my life, and you are one of them. I do not share, and I do not cheat. I expect the same from you as long as we remain married. Do you understand?"

I was shocked by his authoritative tone, by his confidence in staking a claim we'd been avoiding like the plague since the day we'd met.

Did I agree? Was I willing to promise him fidelity until our divorce was final, even if that meant several months apart once I'd moved back home?

"Say it," he grumbled, moving his face closer to mine. The tip of his hard cock moved against my slick hole but didn't press inside.

I let out a cross between a desperate groan and an embarrassing whimper. I couldn't remember ever feeling this way, at someone else's mercy.

"Waylon…"

He stared at me for another beat before something changed in his expression. The light in his eyes dimmed right in front of me, and he pulled his hand off my chest. "It's okay, Silas," he said softly, "if you don't want to. I'm sorry I?—"

I grabbed his wrist and yanked him down, crashing my lips into his, forgetting for a moment he was hurt. He made a muted yelp that quickly turned into a moan as I grabbed his ass and pulled him into me until his dick slid into the crease of my thigh.

"Yes," I confessed against his mouth. "I'll be yours, Way. Only yours. Yes."

" Mine ." Way cupped the back of my head and pulled his lips away until just our foreheads stayed pressed together. Then, he moved far enough away to meet my eyes again. "Thank fuck. I've never needed someone like this."

He didn't wait for a response, which was probably a good thing. Instead, he moved his hand down to guide himself to my hole so he could press inside. After the tension of the previous moment, it took me a few seconds to relax again, and then he let out the most debauched sound from his throat as my body accepted him.

"Oh Jesus, Silas."

It was tight. The man wasn't small, and it had been a very long time since I'd bottomed for anyone. I focused on breathing through the burn, but I felt sweat break out on my face and back.

"You okay?" he asked, stopping for a moment to flash me a look of concern.

I nodded and cupped a hand behind his neck, moving my fingers into the hair at his nape. He was incredibly sexy. Flushed skin, wild eyes, and quick, panting breaths.

He moved again, in and out, thrusting deeper inside of me until it felt like he was filling all the empty space I had to give. "You feel fucking amazing," he said in a hoarse voice. "I've never… this… fuck."

Words I wouldn't let myself speak aloud flitted brazenly through my mind as his body took complete control of mine.

Mine. Now. Forever. Again. More. Husband .

It was a fairy tale. Not real. Not actually mine to keep. But I would enjoy it while I had it. I would make love to him in the dark of night without letting on that this meant more to me than I'd intended. Without letting him know that while he may have only fucked four people in his life, I'd only ever made love to one person.

A beautiful, broke, brazen cowboy from the corner of nowhere. A golden boy, majestic and true.

As he continued to thrust in and out of me, I gave over parts of myself I'd never shared before. It wasn't a conscious decision. If I'd had a choice at all, I might have made a different one. But I was completely at the mercy of the pull he had over me.

I didn't give him my heart and soul so much as he fucking took it with every whispered word out of his mouth, broken groan from his throat, and slide of his body into mine.

Way struck just the right spot inside of me and battered it until I came with a shout that echoed in the small house. With a few more strokes, he came on a stuttered cry and pressed so deeply against my body I wondered if he was trying to imprint himself on me forever.

We didn't speak afterward. Cleanup was a silent affair, as if neither one of us wanted to break the precious and fragile stillness around us. When we got back in bed, he curled up against my side and rested his head on my shoulder, turning toward me to press a kiss against my neck before letting out a breath.

Then he was asleep. And I spent the next four hours watching the moonlight move across his skin while wondering how I was ever going to recover from the shock of falling in love.