Chapter 19

NINETEEN

WAYLON

I was relieved to see Eden testing the preliminary climbing routes on Clara Peak for the exhibition. I should have known she'd take care of it, but with the whirlwind of the past week and everything happening with Silas, I hadn't even thought to ask her.

"Hey, you," I said, surrounded by the familiar scent of eucalyptus bug spray and the organic lavender deodorant she wore. "When did you get back?"

"Not until last night. The photoshoot took an extra day because of weather." She stepped back. Her eyes flicked to Silas, then back to me.

"Oh, uh… right," I began awkwardly. "This is Silas." The remainder of an explanation died before I could form the words. How exactly did you explain to the person you proposed marriage to that you'd taken their rejection and turned it into a one-size-fits-all opportunity in Vegas?

She eyed him up and down before offering a chalky hand and a polite smile. "Nice to meet you. I'm Eden."

I felt the tension coming off Silas's body. Or maybe it was my own. Either way, the clearing in which we stood suddenly felt like a rusted, stifling cage.

And I was stuck in it with the woman I'd always imagined marrying and the man I'd actually married instead.

Silas shook her hand and responded just as politely. "Silas Concannon. I've heard good things about you."

Thankfully, her climbing partner, Miki, joined us after removing her gear. "Hey, Way." She gave me a fist bump. "You can let Kyle know this route looks good. We're headed to check the route on Maude next."

As I nodded and thanked her, Eden and Silas's simmer seemed to come to a boil.

Before I could try to fix things— somehow —Eden turned to me with accusation in her eyes. "Is it true the two of you got married in Vegas?"

Sweat began to trickle down my neck. "Yes."

Silas shifted next to me but didn't say a word.

Eden tilted her head. "And?"

"And…" I glanced at Miki, who'd wandered back over to the pile of gear and may or may not have been out of earshot. It probably didn't matter since Eden told Miki everything anyway. And while I'd trust Eden with the truth, I didn't know Miki well enough to trust her. "We're… married," I said.

Eden's eyes narrowed, and her voice lowered. "In Vegas. The day you literally proposed to me."

I scrambled to figure out how to explain it when I suddenly felt the warm slide of Silas's strong hand across my lower back. His touch centered me.

"Yes," I said, standing up a little straighter. "We hit it off. It happened really fast, but…"

Silas stepped closer, moving his hand to rest on my hip. It was a calming touch… and a claiming one. "I talked him into it," he said. "Got him drunk and convinced him to do something crazy."

I glanced up at him. Though he didn't look at me, I found on his face the same confident, dominating energy he gave to most things. The self-assured corporate leader whose word probably made lower-level assistants scatter to do his bidding. A person no one questioned.

Except Eden. "Way's not the type to get drunk married in Vegas." She folded her arms over her chest. "What really happened?"

I let out a bark of nervous laughter. "I promise what really happened was me getting drunk married in Vegas."

She studied me, her eyes clear blue pools of sympathy. It was an emotion I wanted no part of. "Because you were upset I said no?"

"No," I said firmly, knowing I spoke the truth. "Because there was something about Silas I couldn't resist." I glanced at him again, feeling nerves swell in my stomach. This time, his eyes met mine, their intensity lighting me up the way they always did. "Still can't, to be honest."

More truth.

Silas leaned in and kissed the spot right in front of my ear, letting out an almost inaudible rumble of pleasure that only I could hear.

When I looked back at Eden a moment later, her eyes were wide and focused on my jaw, precisely where Silas had kissed. "I don't understand. Have you always been into guys?"

I opened my mouth to automatically respond to her the way I'd done for fifteen years, but when Silas's body tensed again, I stopped. I understood Eden's curiosity, but this wasn't the time or place to discuss my sexuality journey, and on some level, it felt like a betrayal to Silas… even though I knew that wasn't quite accurate.

"Tell me about the sponsor photoshoot," I said instead, giving her a smile to soften the abrupt subject change.

Eden went along with it and described the various climbs and the nesting raptors they'd seen.

It was hard to concentrate on her words, though, because Silas's thumb had snuck under the edge of my T-shirt and brushed light circles on the skin above my waistband.

I wanted to be alone with him, to turn and seek reassurance in his arms as if he were a true life partner. It was stupid of me to entertain those thoughts when our unspoken agreement was sex only and forging any kind of emotional connection was obviously a terrible idea.

It wasn't like there was any kind of future for the two of us. Our lives were impossibly different. I had no desire to leave Majestic, and he couldn't possibly want to leave the corporate world in New York. But there were moments like this one when I thought about it, and the thought brought a wistful "what if" feeling that was getting harder and harder to ignore.

"…water volume is still too high, so I hope the folks at AdventureSmash are willing to wait."

I blinked out of my reverie. "Wait, what?"

"The Majestic River. The rapids are too dangerous. No one can get on the water right now. You'll have to send a drone up for a preliminary bird's-eye view of the run until the volume comes down and it's safe enough for a boat. Should be good to go in a couple of weeks."

I worried the team at AdventureSmash wouldn't be happy waiting, but there wasn't much we could do if conditions were too dangerous. Eden must have been able to tell what I was thinking because she reached out to squeeze my arm. Silas immediately released me and stepped aside, as if I couldn't handle being touched by two people at once.

Eden smiled warmly. "Relax, Way. It'll be safe again in plenty of time for the event, and the AdventureSmash people should be fine with the drone footage for now. They just want to make sure there are no new obstacles or obvious impediments."

"I don't have a drone," I said, pointing out the obvious.

"Foster or the SaR team should have one, or they can find one to borrow. Take a breath, babe. It's going to be okay. Everyone's looking forward to the exhibition, and when I stopped at Lake Sports and talked to Jackson, he said everything is in great shape." She met my eyes. "You're doing good, Way. Promise."

Silas turned his head and peered up at the rock face. That simple gesture made the dynamic between the three of us feel even more awkward.

I gritted my teeth together and tried to stamp down my growing annoyance. Maybe all of this was in my head and I was the only one feeling incredibly off-kilter.

"Thanks for doing these climbs," I said. "Let me know what you find at Maude."

She nodded and smiled again. "No problem. Feels good to get out here and climb without needing to be on camera or look a certain way. Our plan is to hike back via Serenity and do some bouldering there as long as the weather holds."

"You have a radio?" I asked out of habit.

"Yes, Dad. And flares and a sat phone. Don't worry." Her expression softened before she leaned in and gave me another hug. This one was tighter and longer. "Promise I'll be okay," she murmured in my ear.

I mumbled a thanks and called one out to Miki, also, before turning to Silas. "Ready? We have another three miles to close the loop."

He nodded before waving to the ladies and following me back to the trail.

We walked in silence for a few minutes before he broke it. "She seems nice."

It was such a cliché thing to say I could only bring myself to respond, "Mm."

A minute later, he added, "Pretty, too. Really pretty."

"Mmhm."

After a few more minutes with nothing but the crunch of dry leaves and tiny pebbles under our boots, Silas finally threw up his hands. "She called you babe ! She… touched you. She hugged you. Twice . She seemed upset that we got married. Is there… is she… Jesus fuck, Waylon . Are you upset?"

I reached for his hand and pulled him toward me, away from the far edge of the trail where I'd spotted a familiar brown pattern. "Not really, but there's a bull snake right there which might make you upset."

He yelped and jumped into me, shoving me farther away from where I'd pointed and several yards further along the trail with a funny kind of skip shuffle.

A chuckle escaped me as I tried to reassure him. "Not venomous. I promise."

"Aren't all snakes venomous?"

"Definitely not. Haven't you heard of a garter snake?"

Silas gave a full-body shudder. "Are snakes common around here? First, the guy at the boot store mentioned them; now, you're pointing them out on a simple trail hike. Do I need to wear steel pants?"

"Yes,' I said, trying to keep a straight face. "I mean… it's not a bad idea, really."

He frowned at me in confusion while I pretended to consider the idea more fully.

"They'd be heavy and probably chafe a little," I continued. "But Lake Sports sells this Squirrels Nut Butter stuff that?—"

Silas shoved me hard in the shoulder until I had to take a few quick steps off the path to keep from falling. I couldn't hold back the laugh.

"Shut up," he said with a soft snort. "Ass."

"Steel pants," I hooted. "Steel. Pants."

"Nut butter?" he challenged.

"Hey, that's real. Ask Jackson or Lake. They sell it to cyclists."

As we continued down the trail, I noticed Silas keeping closer to my side. His face was pensive, and I assumed he was still ruminating on the snake sighting.

"Snakes are pretty rare," I finally admitted. "That's probably the only one you'll see all summer, honestly."

"You didn't answer my question," he said, turning and pinning me with those fucking eyes. "About Eden. About our marriage."

The way he said "our marriage," like it was real… like it was something that was ours alone, something special and shared… made my stomach clench.

"I worry I upset her ," I confessed. "I should have been the one to tell her. She shouldn't have found out from town gossip or whatever. I'm an ass for not thinking of telling her myself."

I could tell he was surprised by that, and I wondered why.

"You didn't text her or anything?" he asked. "I thought you two were close?"

We moved into an aspen forest, where the sun was dotting through the leaves and brightening the narrow white trunks. This was my favorite part of the trail.

"She's been busy with work. She had the Tuck Fest race a few weeks ago in North Carolina, followed by some sponsorship meetings in Chicago, and then the big photoshoot in Zion National Park, which is why she flew into Vegas… and why I was there, too, I guess. She's currently training hard for the GoPro Mountain Games down in Colorado in a couple of weeks and helping create social media buzz for the AdventureSmash exhibition. I assumed she was busy, but the truth is, so was I."

"She's upset."

I glanced at him, marking the fact he'd said it as a statement of fact rather than a question.

"Yeah, 'cause she heard about it secondhand, like I said."

Silas glanced off the edge of the trail and into the trees. "M'kay."

"What? Silas?"

He shrugged and kept walking. I tried to drop it by reminding myself Silas didn't know her. If Eden had been upset about something else, I would have known.

After a few minutes, he opened his mouth again. "She seemed possessive… or jealous. It made me wonder if there was something more between you than an old high school thing. More than a couple adults who've hooked up."

"Well, I thought… I mean, the whole town probably thought… we'd eventually settle down together. That's partly why I proposed to her when she thought she was pregnant. In my mind, it was only bringing the inevitable forward a few years. I knew she wasn't ready to settle down yet, but if she was going to have a baby…"

"You'd get married and be Mr. and Mrs. Majestic. Are you in love with her?" Silas's deep voice cut through the dappled sunshine, sucking the warmth and brightness from our surroundings. The way his jaw flexed made me feel slightly nauseous. Like I was disappointing him.

"You already asked me that," I reminded him. "That night in Vegas."

"Yeah, and you said you weren't. That you loved her, but you weren't in love. But that was right after she shot down your proposal. And now you're telling me you always knew you'd end up with her. So I'm asking you again."

"Well, I mean, obviously I… I…" Had anyone asked me that question two weeks ago, a year ago… the answer would have been an automatic yes, spoken with the confidence of someone who didn't know better. Now, the very idea seemed… wrong, somehow.

When I thought of all the incredible memories we'd shared, all the hours we'd spent confiding secrets in each other, how much we wanted the best for each other, I decided I had to be in love with Eden… didn't I?

But then I remembered Natana saying what I shared with Eden wasn't the stuff a real relationship was built on. And I thought about the way Silas stirred me up—not just sexually but in every way—while also making me feel like I could lean on someone for maybe the first time in my adult life.

Silas still seemed to be waiting for an answer, but I didn't have one. Not one I was willing to admit to myself, anyway.

"I… I don't know," I finally said. "Anyway, it doesn't matter. She said no, and you said yes."

He didn't allow me to joke my way out of this serious moment. "Way… it seems to me like maybe she'll say yes eventually. If you want her to, that is."

That same mild nausea from before crawled up my throat at the idea, but I couldn't figure out if it was guilt for marrying Silas instead of Eden or the idea of there being someone after Silas making me sick.

What I did know was that for there to be someone after Silas, Silas would have to be gone from my life, and I wasn't ready for that. At all.

Not yet.

"Can my current spouse stop trying to set up a future spouse for me, please?" I said, sounding snappish. "I'm a married man, in case you forgot. To you."

His eyes locked on mine until I felt like my legs would wobble if I stepped wrong. "I didn't forget. Couldn't if I tried."

I wanted to kiss him, grab onto him and press him against the nearest tree or rock face, and shove my body against his until he truly knew what it would be like to not forget me. But the rational part of my brain reminded me that his words could just as easily have been a complaint about the inconvenience of our sudden matrimony.

My throat was thick from wanting him, but my stomach was too twisted with nerves and confusion to do anything about it.

"Can we talk about your personal shit now, please?" I grumbled.

He let out a soft chuckle. "Sure. What do you want to know?"

I scrambled to think of something. "Your tattoos. The chemical symbols. You told me you got them because of your sister."

Silas's entire demeanor changed at the mention of Camille. Anytime her name came up, he turned soft in the sweetest way.

"She was pre-med in college," he began. "But she really struggled with chemistry. It was enough to make her think she was going to have to give up her dream of becoming a doctor. I offered to…"

For some reason, he stopped, so I elbowed him. "Offered to…"

"Pay her. For grades. But that was when I only had a minimum-wage job, so I couldn't offer much."

I nudged him. "So you offered to sell your body. You tramp ."

Silas laughed. "She had a friend who was apprenticing as a tattoo artist. I finally agreed if she aced the exam, I'd let her friend practice on me."

I reached out to trace the lines below the sleeve of his T-shirt. "That's a lot of practice," I murmured.

"No shit," he muttered. "She went on to take eight fucking semesters of chem. And aced every one of them."

I barked out a laugh and met his eyes as they danced with a teasing glint.

"Sisters are total assholes," he said.

"Complete assholes," I agreed. "She's lucky to have you," I added once the laughter died down.

"Nah. Other way around. She keeps me grounded."

As we made our way out of the tree line and across the meadow to the parking area, I wondered at his words.

"How do you mean?"

"She's not money-motivated at all. She just wants to help people." He glanced out at the field just beginning to bloom with wildflowers. "She could have gotten placed anywhere she wanted, but she chose one of the harshest emergency rooms in the city because that's where she saw the greatest need. Whenever I get caught up in big corporate deals, mergers, and high-stakes negotiations, whenever I get focused on the money and making the stakeholders as rich as possible, Camille reminds me to focus on other things. And to use my money for good."

As we approached his rental car, it reminded me that he'd insisted on dropping off my truck for its much-needed repair on the way here. "Good causes like loaning people money for transmission work?" I asked sourly, still feeling prickly about our argument first thing that morning.

"We're not fighting about this again. I'm not letting my husband drive around with a busted transmission."

I threw my small pack into the back seat before climbing into the passenger seat and pulling the door closed. Then, I turned to him. "I'll pay you back as soon as I can."

He turned the ignition and focused on backing out of the spot. "So you said. Multiple times."

Silas's calm dismissal got my back up. "How would you feel if the situation were reversed? If you were the one who'd borrowed money from me?"

"It would be driving me batshit," he said with a serene smile as he pulled out of the parking area and down the gravel road toward the highway.

I glared at him. "Yes! Exactly."

"The difference is you wouldn't loan me the money."

My jaw dropped as my stomach plummeted. Was that what he thought of me? "Silas! Are you fucking kidding? Of course I would, if I had it."

"Why would you?"

"Because you're a friend. Hell, because you're my husband. Because if I had it, why not loan it to help someone out? Because I'd…" His knowing smirk made me realize I'd been had. "Fuck you."

"Now you know how I feel. And as for the fuck-you suggestion… Thank you, I accept."

I couldn't help but smile. "You really are a tramp."

"Happy to be used in that manner, Mayor," he teased. "Do with me what you will."

As we joked and teased each other the entire drive home, I couldn't help but notice this no longer looked and felt like a purely sexual relationship.

I wanted to be with Silas more than anyone else. I didn't want this day together to end.

Thankfully, I had the perfect excuse to extend it.

"Will you come with me to Final Night on Thursday?" I asked as he pulled off the highway and past the ranch house.

"Final Night? Sounds ominous."

"It's a local street party to celebrate the final days of the low season. It's sort of the last hurrah before the tourists take over starting around Memorial Day."

"Ah. And you want me to attend so we can cement our relationship in the eyes of the town." Silas waved at ZuZu, who was unloading something from her car as we passed the barn. "Sure. Why not?"

I swallowed hard. I might not know how I felt about Eden. And I might not want to think too much about how much I felt for Silas. But I prided myself on my honesty, so I couldn't let that stand.

"No, I… I want you to come as my date," I told him, stomach tumbling with nerves. "I want you to come as my husband. I want you to come because I like spending time with you."

Silas turned his head to look at me, and whatever he saw made his wry expression soften and warm.

He took my hand in his and squeezed it gently. "I told you before, Way. If you want me to come, I'll be there."

But as I squeezed back, I couldn't help wondering, For how long ?