Chapter 20

“Wow,” Alexis breathed.

“Yeah,” I muttered.

We sat propped up on pillows, all together in a shared bed in the first hotel with availability. Thankfully, Kennedy had thought to grab a backpack and fill it with our spare clothing, passports, money, and my shoes before leaving the ship. I wore a comfy rock T-shirt and jeans, covered in blankets, finally feeling warm for the first time in hours. My pink dress lay draped over the shower curtain in the bathroom, likely beyond saving.

It felt good to tell them about today’s events. I held back some of the kissing details about Matteo on the island, obviously, and I sped through the dinner with Dad. Not that it mattered. By the looks on my sisters’ faces, they filled in the gaps on their own.

Kennedy sat with arms folded, her cheeks red. “I could kill him.”

“Which one?” Alexis asked.

“Dad. Matteo was just being stupid. Dad was being himself.” She groaned and put her face in her hands. “I can’t believe I was gone for all of this. I’m a horrible sister.”

“At least you found Jillie,” Alexis said. “I didn’t think to check the tourist sites. I had the taxi driver go down every major street while I yelled out the window. People probably thought I was crazy.”

“At least you didn’t talk to a dog. Or a pigeon. Or a fountain god, for that matter.” I chuckled. “Something tells me the Travell girls made quite an impression on Rome today.”

“Bummer that your epic Rome-ance turned out to be an epic failure,” Alexis said innocently.

Kennedy groaned and I gave Alexis a nudge with my shoulder. “How do you do that?”

“Do what?”

“Manage to make it sound worse than it was.”

“I don’t know. It sounded pretty bad.”

Kennedy reached behind me and smacked Alexis in the arm. “Some sister you are.” She paused. “Look, I?—”

“No, I get to go first,” Alexis said, her grin fading. “There’s something I’ve been meaning to say. Jillie, I didn’t leave you two alone yesterday because paint balling is my favorite thing. I left because the sparks were so strong between you and Matteo, I thought one of you would catch on fire. I thought I was holding you back. Major third wheel moment. I had to let you guys . . . I don’t know. Burn off some steam or kill each other, one of the two.” She eyed me. “Did you? Burn off some steam at his house?”

“What does that even mean?” I lifted a hand to stop her. “Actually, I don’t want to know.”

“So now that it’s over, I’m curious,” Kennedy asked. “Was he a deep river, or a shallow one?”

Alexis gave her a questioning look, but Kennedy didn’t explain. In my case, she didn’t need to. The very thought of my misplaced lecture in Paris about the French real estate agent made me groan. I’d told her that some rivers were shallow but fun and it was okay to enjoy them for a while. In my defense, I didn’t realize at the time that the guy was trying to seduce her. Then again, Hunter had swooped in and rescued her, so maybe it all worked out for the best.

“Matteo is not a river,” I told her. “He’s a freaking waterfall. Like, you stick a toe in and get pulled under. There’s no coming up from that.”

“Dang,” Alexis muttered. “I need to find me an Italian.”

Kennedy reached over and squeezed my hand. “Waterfall or not, this is awful and you have every right to feel sad. You were finally ready to love, and he betrayed that. Even worse, we weren’t there for you when you needed us, and we should have been. I’m so sorry.”

I sniffed, feeling the waterworks a blink away, and opened my mouth to dismiss everything yet again. The old Jillie would have done that—covered up her feelings, smiled, and pretended all was well. But tonight, I couldn’t do that. It had only been a few hours, but I missed Matteo. I wanted to tell him about Dad, and this new revelation with my mom, and how it felt to be reunited with my sisters once again. But I would never have that chance.

“Yeah, the timing wasn’t great.” I shrugged. “I hate being left behind. Right now, I just want to curl up under the covers and stay there for a month. Love hurts. I don’t think I can do this again.”

Kennedy started rubbing my back like we were kids again, but Alexis straightened. “You have to.”

I looked at her. “What?”

Alexis shook her head, sounding more serious than I’d seen it in a while. “I’m one of the people who abandoned you, so you have no reason to listen to me. But I’ve cut ties with everyone I loved, Jillie. I’ve lived that life, where nothing mattered but me and what I wanted. I traveled the world alone and avoided relationships. I ignored the phone when you two and Mom texted, trying to check in on me. I thought that cutting myself off from everyone would mean no more pain.” She studied her fingernails. “I was wrong.”

Kennedy stared at her in disbelief. This was more than Alexis had said on our entire trip.

“Dad told me what Mom did,” I said softly. “I know about the soccer coach.”

Kennedy went positively rigid now. “Wait, what soccer coach?”

“I get it, why you left,” I continued, hoping Alexis would see my earnestness. “Mom betrayed all of us, but especially you. I can’t imagine discovering what you did and feeling trapped like that. I’m just saying that I understand, and I’m sorry.”

Alexis’s breath caught for a moment. “Thank you, Jillie, but this one’s on me. It wasn’t until I lived with Dad and saw what he was like through adult eyes that I began to see what Mom put up with all those years. Dad may not have slipped up with someone else, but he never really offered her his entire heart, either. At least Mom understood what it meant to be part of a family. I think that’s the message Grandpa was trying to teach us, sending us on this trip. You may not have needed that lesson, but I did.”

This felt like more than an apology for her emotional distance as we traveled. It felt like an apology for all of it—keeping secrets from us, leaving on my birthday, ignoring my texts when I reached out from a place of desperation and loneliness. Leaving Kennedy and me to deal with Mom’s illness. Holding herself apart and aloof at the funeral and afterward, when we tried to put the broken pieces of our family back together, they wouldn’t fit because she was missing.

My brain scrambled for a response, but there was none. Not to that. So instead, I pulled her in for a huge bear hug.

Alexis stiffened as she always did. Even as a child, she hadn’t liked embraces. But then she relaxed. Her arms slowly, carefully slid around my back.

“So Mom had an affair with a soccer coach,” Kennedy said, kneeling on the bed and wrapping her arms around the both of us. “Um, I have some questions . . . but I guess those can wait. What kind of hug is this, exactly?”

“A forgiveness hug,” I said.

“I like the sound of that.”

“Can we make it an air hug instead?” Alexis’s voice asked, muffled against my shoulder. “Because I can’t breathe.”

We pulled apart and giggled. I still had questions as well, but this was a great start.

“You know what the funny thing is?” I asked them as we settled into our places on the bed. “We’re more alike than we want to admit. Losing Dad, losing Mom, trying to forge something new. Find love and a new life. How much better would it be if we did all that together rather than apart?”

“I’m down if you are.” Alexis’s lips rose in a genuine, non-teasing grin.

Kennedy lifted an eyebrow. “You’re kinda smart for a youngest child.”

“Now that all the mushiness is out of the way,” Alexis said, “anybody up for a movie? I’m thinking a comedy. Maybe Roman Holiday.”

Alexis and I burst out laughing.

Kennedy frowned in confusion. “I don’t get it.” Just then, her phone buzzed. She pulled it out and read the screen. Her eyes widened.

“What?” I asked.

“Hunter just landed and checked his texts. Matteo’s sister texted him, asking for your number. Says she really needs to talk to you. Viviana, right?”

“Vivi wants to call me ?” If this was a kicking-while-down situation, I wanted nothing to do with it.

“She gave her number. I’m not sure she’s still awake, but we can try calling if you want. If not, I’ll tell him so he can pass it along. We’ll back you up either way.” Kennedy watched me expectantly.

“I vote no,” Alexis said. “She just tanked their relationship. She can go jump into the river.” We looked at her. It took a second for her to remember, then she continued in a rush, “Um, a different river. A dirty, muddy river totally unlike the river that Jillie fell into.”

“What do you think?” I asked Kennedy.

“Your call, but it must be important if she’s texting Hunter.”

My thoughts exactly. Vivi didn’t seem like the vindictive type. She didn’t like me, but she cared deeply about her brother, and that we both shared. “I’ll call her.”

“Sounds good.” Kennedy initiated the call and handed me the phone.

As much as I loved my sisters, I didn’t want an audience, so I took it and stepped onto the balcony just as Vivi answered. “Ciao.”

“It’s Jillie,” I said.

Her breath came out in a rush. “I have to tell you how sorry I am. You are not like Clara and I understand that now. If I hadn’t told my mother, none of this would have happened.”

I could barely understand her. “None of what? What happened?”

“First, a question. Please tell me the truth. Are you with my brother?”

I leaned against the wall, my legs threatening to give out. “No. I haven’t seen him. You don’t know where he is?”

She cursed in Italian. “After you left the galleria, my mother went to his apartment to pack his belongings. She asked me to help her, so I came.”

“Okay?” I wasn’t sure I wanted to know this in such detail. It only pushed the nail in deeper.

“When his guests left, he came upstairs. He looked completely calm. He said he found a life of love and our mother couldn’t get in the way of that simply because she never found it herself. He said he was always part of the family even if she didn’t want to call him her son, and that was her choice, not his. ‘I’ll let you back into my life,’ he said, ‘but on my terms, and I’m not moving out of this apartment.’ Then he walked out.”

My breath was shaky. “He really did?”

“He did. I followed him outside and asked where he was going. He said you were different from Clara and there was only one of you in the world, and he was lucky he found you, and he wouldn’t let you escape.” She paused. “Did you really say you wanted to be part of the family?”

At the time, I hadn’t thought through what that meant. Yet another embarrassing moment today. “Yeah.”

“Jillian, knowing what I do now, I would support you one hundred percent if that happened. I’m sorry that I didn’t see how happy you made my brother. I thought you would use him and toss him aside like Clara did.”

“I couldn’t do that,” I said softly, feeling the truth of it somewhere deep inside. Sometime in the past forty-eight hours, I had changed. As impossible as it seemed, I wanted to spend the rest of my life at his side and in his arms. “Where did he go after that?”

“He got into a taxi and left. His phone just goes to voicemail when I call. I hoped he found you, but now I’m worried. Where is your ship sailing now?”

“Venice, but I’m still in Rome.” But he didn’t know that. He’d think I was on my way to Venice, and he would take the fastest route to get there.

“The train station,” we both said at the same time.

“Are there any trains to Venice tonight?” I asked.

“There’s usually an overnight train. I hope it hasn’t left yet.”

“How far is the station from the city center?” I asked, hurrying back inside and shoving on my shoes. I still looked a fright albeit a bit less insane without my puffy pink dress. My faded jeans and old T-shirt would have to do.

“Five minutes by taxi. I’m getting in my car now, but I’m fifteen minutes away.”

“I’ll meet you there.” I hung up and turned to my sisters. “Matteo confronted his mom and told her off and then disappeared and Vivi can’t find him so she’s worried but we think he might be at the train station trying to follow me so I’m going down there.”

“Whoa, whoa,” Kennedy said. “Say again?”

“Got it and I’m totally coming.” Alexis shoved her shoes on and grabbed her jacket.

“How did you even understand that?” Kennedy muttered as we headed for the door. I barely heard their whispered conversation as I stumbled down the hall toward the stairs.

Matteo was searching for me, and I wouldn’t keep him waiting.