Chapter 16

We spent two hours making lunch. We ended up using sea bass instead of swordfish, which sounded safer anyway, and a bit of dill instead of fresh parsley. Despite my fumbling attempts at making pasta, it tasted delicious. Pretty incredible, actually.

I spent the entire time wishing I could do this forever. He and I cooking together in the kitchen, dusting each other with flour and reaching around bodies that seemed to always “accidentally” be in the way. By the sixth time he found me standing right in front of a tool he needed, he swept me into his arms, pressed me against the countertop, and kissed me for so long that the pasta dough went too soft and had to cool in the fridge for a few more minutes.

After we ate, I set aside some food for Vivi and his friends at my insistence. Sure, Vivi had tried to use his friends to split us up, but it didn’t mean they had to starve. Soon he checked his phone and frowned. “We’ll need to leave soon. I have an event tonight.”

“You do?” I couldn’t hide the disappointment in my voice. I had assumed we had some of the evening to be together. I didn’t have to return to the ship until eight.

“The trip back will take an hour longer by boat. Vivi is staying here tonight. I’ll have the driver pick us up in about thirty minutes. What would you like to do until then?”

I gave him a wolfish grin, and he laughed. “Besides kissing. I’m still recovering from the kitchen.”

“Fine. Maybe you can show me around the island?” It wasn’t incredibly large—just big enough for the house and the grounds, most of which was terraced.

The terrain made for a beautiful walk. We strolled together in silence, hand in hand, clinging to each other almost desperately. I didn’t want the magic we’d found here to end. Soon we’d have to go back to Rome and nothing would be the same.

“You mentioned my coming back,” I told him. “Is that what you want?”

“Only if that’s what you want. I would like to get to know you better, but Jillie, I’m not going to move quickly. I learned that lesson.”

You go after the people you love. I wanted my mom to hop in the car and chase my dad down. I wanted her to tell him she was sorry for whatever happened and she’d be his no matter what. I wanted her to bring him home, just like Matteo had tried to do with the woman he loved.

Yet my mom stayed put and let my dad go.

I watched this man, who held my hand and kissed me like he cared yet kept his heart out of reach. So this was what it felt like, being kept at arm’s length.

Meanwhile, I wanted to be closer to him. I wanted him to beg me to come back to him.

I wanted him to ask me to stay.

Matteo’s pocket buzzed and he pulled out his phone. “The boat is here. Do you have everything you need?”

No, because I don’t have you. Not really.

I swallowed back the lump in my throat. “Yes. I have everything I need.”

My phone finally got service about twenty miles off the mainland coast. While Matteo spoke with the boat’s driver, I pulled up my browser and did a quick search for Matteo’s name. His studio came up almost immediately, the front page plastered with half a dozen award graphics.

I clicked on the calendar and selected English from the dropdown menu. On today’s date, it said, PHOTOGRAPHY GALA. I knew what that would look like—a room full of wealthy clients looking for expensive art to hang on the walls of their vacation homes and rental properties.

My finger hovered over the portfolio page, but just then, he sat and placed his arm around my shoulders. I tapped the side button to shut off the screen. “We’ll be at the small docks within the hour,” he said.

He hadn’t told me it was a gala. Did he not want me to go?

“What’s your event tonight?” I asked innocently.

“I would cancel it if I could. I’d rather spend that time with you.”

“That’s not what I asked.”

Matteo looked away. “Just an event recognizing me and my work.”

My stomach twisted in disappointment. He could never love me if he didn’t trust me. “Is it near your apartment? I just don’t want you to be late.”

“No, it’s in the same building.” His voice was clipped, making it clear he wouldn’t answer any more questions.

Hide the hurt. Don’t let him see. “I hope it goes well for you. Are you accompanying me back to the train station?”

“I wish I could. I need to hurry home and get ready. Today has been an incredible day, and . . . I’ll never forget it.”

Not I’ll never forget you. I’ll never forget today. Like we spent the day creating memories and not creating a relationship. He might as well have stabbed me with a fishing spear. They probably had one here somewhere.

All those breakups in the past, all initiated by me. I had been the heartless one, blind to their pain. It didn’t feel good, being on this side of things.

Then again, he wasn’t ending anything because there was nothing to end. I was the one leaving. I couldn’t complain about him letting me go when he really had no other option. We’d agreed to say goodbye tonight and forget each other. One day. All part of the plan.

My phone buzzed in my hand. I tilted the screen to view the caller, expecting it to be Kennedy or Alexis.

But it was neither one. My heart nearly stopped at the name on the screen.

Dad.