Chapter 27

CHAPTER 27

" A m I disturbing you?" Christine asked.

The Duke stood by the window in the large room, looking out. The crackling embers lit up the fireplace, remnants from the roaring flames that had dried the Baron before he left.

"No, please come in," Theodore said. He did not turn from the window immediately.

"Today was an interesting day." Christine entered the room, gravitating toward the warmth of the fire. No lamps were yet lit. Some light streamed in the windows as the sun set in the distance, and the glow from the blackened logs gave illumination and a warm, woody smell.

"That is one way to describe it." Theodore turned from the window, walking over toward the fire. "Why does she attract such men?"

"What do you mean?" Christine asked.

"She starts with a man who has ditched her after finding out she is carrying his child, and then she attracts a man who is far too nice for his own good. If he showed a little gumption, perhaps she would like him better."

"Are you still thinking of him?" Christine asked.

"Which one?"

"The one who has ditched her," Christine responded.

"I can't stop thinking of him," Theodore replied. "I am willing to wait, but as soon as I find out who he is, I will tear him apart."

"What is the right thing to do here?" Christine asked.

"We are a long way past the right thing," Theodore said. "We crossed that line a long time ago. I know she still wants to protect him, but she will grow angrier over time, and I know she will beg me to do something eventually."

"This might be the happiest and angriest I have seen you." Christine sidled up to the Duke as he stood on one side of the fire. She stroked his cheek lightly before letting her hands drop to her side.

"I am proud of myself for how in control of my anger I am," Theodore told her. "I am trying with every fiber of my being not to think about what he has done to my sister, and when I do think about it, there is only one thing…" The words trailed off like water trickling into a drain.

"What were you about to say?" Christine asked.

"It does not matter."

Christine felt she was slipping into a warm bath—she was sure it was connected to her.

"Please," she begged. "What keeps you from acting on your anger?"

Theodore sighed. "It is you. When I think about doing something rash, it helps calm me, knowing that you are by my side."

Christine could not speak. A warm glow of sunshine rained down upon her even though the sun had set not long ago. Her lips tingled, and she licked them, still unable to form words.

"I caught you up in the mess that is my life," Theodore said, "and now, you are caught up in the mess that is my sister's life. I apologize for what you have to go through."

"It is not so bad," Christine admitted. She brought her hand to her lips. "I don't mean it like that. The situations are bad, but I enjoy feeling needed. I am glad I can be helpful, even when it is passively."

Theodore gritted his teeth, and a vein in his neck bulged. "I hope you are not around when I find him, whoever he is."

"I want to be around." Christine did not like violence, but what had happened to Adeline was the ultimate betrayal.

"It would be best that you are not," Theodore pushed. "It is not because I don't think you can handle it, but because I worry that I will not teach him the lesson he must be taught if you are by my side."

Christine swallowed and nodded. She had not tried to do it, but she had become intertwined in Theodore's life. He talked of her being by his side, but what use was that if it were only to calm him down?

She gazed at the flickering flames, watching the orange shapes dance into existence for a moment and then become extinguished in the heat. She could compare it to her life—not her life, but life in general. Life felt long, but in relation to all of time, it was as fleeing as the flicker of a flame in the burning embers of a bloodline.

"I wanted to apologize to you," Christine said, breaking the silence.

"Oh?" Theodore stated. "What have you done now?"

"I did not think it until you arrived at the lake, but should I have let Adeline and Lord St. Vincent go out on the lake?" Christine asked.

"I…" Theodore said, falling quiet.

"You told me what happened to your brother, but I don't know if that made you afraid of the water."

"I am not afraid of the water," Theodore said, snorting out a breath.

"No, I am not suggesting that; I only wondered if you wanted to avoid water."

"Why would I want to avoid water?" Theodore stammered.

"I must stop talking," Christine observed.

The room was quiet except for the gentle crackle of the burning wood in the fireplace. Christine watched the wood—no small flames jumped from it this time. A rolling redness embraced the blackened wood, flowing like water.

"I apologize for being so short with you, Christine," Theodore said. "The truth is that I was worried for my sister. I am not afraid of water, but that is only because I don't venture into it. I have tried not to transfer my fears to my sister, so I am glad she was out there on the boat, but I was tense the entire time. I know it is improbable, but I don't wish to lose a second sibling to drowning."

"I can't imagine how it felt to watch Adeline out there, especially when you heard the splash."

Theodore smiled. "I was incredibly glad to see Lord St. Vincent plunge into the water." He sighed and turned away from Christine. "I froze when he fell in. A better man would have at least run to the bank and thought about jumping in to swim out there, but I could not move."

"I can't think of any reaction more natural than that one," Christine admitted.

The Duke turned to face her, a frown darkening his brow. "I fear you say what you believe will make me feel better because you are my wife, and it is assumed of you."

"You don't need to fear anything I say is just for appearances," Christine responded. "I try not to do what is assumed of me as a wife. I care how you feel, and I don't wish you to be so hard on yourself. You have punished yourself for long enough, and I don't like it. There are others who must be punished in this world, and you are not among them."

"Yes, there are others who must be punished," Theodore muttered.

"Do not let him consume you," Christine said. "If he angers you so much without you being able to do anything about it, then he has power over you. When you find his name, be angry and use that anger to do something about it, but do not be furious at a ghost."

"I don't want to be, but how can I think about anything else? How can I feel anything else? Adeline is my sister, and I love no one more in the world."

The words felt like a dagger to the heart. How she longed to hear something like that about herself. The Duke did not love anyone except for his sister and mother, and that was only because they were his family by blood. If they had children, he would love them, but he had made the decision not to have a family of his own.

Christine pushed her feelings down. She had told the Duke not to be angry at a man he did not know, and she must listen to her own sage advice. She should not be angry for a future she could not have, even if she might want it with him.

She had a duty to do, not as a wife but as a person.

Christine stepped forward and placed her hand on his cheek again. "I understand it is hard to see past your feelings, but let me help you for tonight."

The Duke's eyes flickered but not with fire. Something washed over them, and where his gaze had been sharpened and pointed, now, it was rounded and soft. He shook his head and turned from her.

"I can't give you what you truly want, you know that," he muttered.

Christine wrapped her arms around him, pressing her hands to his stomach and placing her head on his back. "All I want is to feel you."

Perhaps it will distract us both from what we feel.

The Duke sighed and let out a small moan.

Christine pushed. She rubbed her hands up to his chest, holding his tight chest muscles. Another slight moan escaped his lips.

"You do things to me," he observed. "You have become a very welcome distraction in my life.

Don't you see that I want to be more than a distraction for you?

"You should not be alone tonight," Christine said as she gently stroked his chest. "I can share your bed if you do not wish to sleep alone. I can sit by your bed."

The Duke growled and spun around with startling speed, and the air was sucked from her chest until she gasped and took a large breath in. Her eyes widened, and she worried for a moment that she had insulted him with her words and that he might toss her against a wall like a petulant girl through her doll.

"I can't resist you!" he shouted, as if angry with himself for not being able to do so.

He did not toss her against the wall, but he did pick her up around the waist and push her into the wall with a small thud that took her breath away for the second time in almost as many seconds.

The Duke did not allow her to lose any more breath or say a word—he clamped his mouth to hers as if pinning her to the wall with his lips. He growled through the kiss, and it filled Christine with something akin to air. She swelled inside as he stood unmoving for a moment, his lips pushing into hers.

Then his tongue entered her, and Christine froze under the flames he brought. He did not move, but his movements still felt frantic as her feet dangled a few inches off the floor. His arm was still around her waist, holding her up.

Theodore's free hand moved to her waist, claiming her body.

"Mmm," Christine willingly submitted to him.

The Duke pushed up her body, cupping her breast, squeezing it tight until it became almost uncomfortable. Almost. Christine had never ached to have her body squeezed so tight, but when the Duke did it, a tidal wave of emotion crashed into her, and her body went limp against the wall.

She could only move her head as the Duke kissed her, and she could feel his pent-up emotion and anger drain from his body as his lips moved atop her. She wanted to help him, but she wanted to help herself, too. She needed to feel him, not to distract herself from what she felt for him but because of what she felt for him.

Christine swung her legs up, wrapping them around the Duke to hold on better. The Duke let go of her waist, pushing his body into her, and moved his free hand up to her other breast, massaging them both, fingering the stiff nipples that poked through the fabric of her dress.

Theodore suddenly stopped and pulled away from her, panting.

"No, please," Christine begged. "Please don't stop. I need you."

The Duke breathed out heavily through his nose and smiled. "I needed to make sure you were fine with this. I shall not force you into doing what you do not wish to do, but I want you, Christine."

"I want you, too," she replied.

"I want you fully." The Duke pierced her soul with his gaze.

Christine took a deep breath. She did not need time to think about it; she only needed time to come to terms with the enormity of it and to organize her thoughts properly.

She nodded as she breathed frantically through her nose. "I want this. I need this."

Theodore nodded. He took his time bringing his lips to hers, and when he kissed her again, his movements were not flickering like fire, they were smooth and flowing like water. He caressed her breasts instead of kneading them like fresh dough. He licked at her tongue like a child tasting something for the first time. He bit her bottom lip gently. He drove one hand down and cupped her rear as if holding a broken baby bird.

He moved far too slow for Christine, and she wanted him to frantically touch her, but the slower he moved, the quicker she inched toward climaxing. He had not yet touched her down below, but she was ready to burst.

"You are incredible," the Duke whispered as he drew his lips from hers. "I can't resist you."

"Then don't," she replied. "Don't even try to resist me. Take all of me and do as you please with me. I need to feel you, Theodore. I need you."

"I need you, too," he replied.

But not in the same way.

Christine had not noticed him release his manhood, but she soon felt it. His hand moved from her rear to her core, gently teasing with his finger, and then she felt his warmth against her opening. Christine wrapped her arms around the Duke and held on for dear life.

"Oh!" Christine gasped as he eased himself in. The sensation was new and not entirely comfortable, but at the same time, it was the most wonderful thing she had ever felt. His warmth coursed through her like shockwaves, each one causing her body to tremble.

The Duke pushed himself up into Christine, and it caused a chain reaction that had her lips searching for his. Her hands moved to the back of his head, and she guided him to her.

Christine gasped again as she kissed her husband and then moaned as he rocked his hips back and forth. It felt like a deep itch she could not scratch, a tickle deep inside her core that needed to stop before it consumed her. She was slipping into a warm bath to find it was filled with ice, and then she realized she had been too hot and ice water was exactly what she needed. Each thrust of his hips was a contradiction, and she struggled to understand what it was she needed or wanted. The Duke seemed to know. Every movement of his manhood, touch of his lips, and caress of his fingers was exactly what she needed, but it drove her wild at the same time.

She did not know anything anymore, only the rhythmic pulsing that overwhelmed her. She reached down and took his rear in her hands, squeezing and pulling, urging him to enter her faster and faster. She needed to climax, so she could make sense of any of it. She did not know any of the feelings within, but she knew one thing for sure now that they had become intimate.

I love you. I can't deny it any longer. I love you, and I don't care that you don't love me back.

The thought released the chains around her heart, and she screamed out in ecstasy. Her body writhed against the Duke's, and the wave of pleasure that stabbed through her body was like being on fire and frozen at the same time. All she could do was scream out as the entire universe exploded within.

The Duke was chuckling, and she could not figure out why. She opened her eyes and looked into his, not only hearing his happiness but seeing it. It took her a moment to reconfigure her thoughts, and she finally understood. He was laughing because he was happy.

Christine let out a giggle but had to stop immediately as she moved with the Duke still inside her. She gasped for breath as another shockwave of pleasure ran through her.

"Did you enjoy that, Duchess?" the Duke asked.

Christine could not speak; she could only nod.

"When you are ready, we will go upstairs to my room, and I will make you feel this way over and over. Would you like that?" the Duke asked.

Christine nodded again.

It was not only how he touched her and made her feel when he touched her, but also how he made her feel when he wasn't touching her. Or when he was absent from her life and she missed him.

She could not let him find out, or things would change. He did not feel the same way and never would. Declaring her feelings would only make her marriage more complicated, and she'd had enough complications to last a lifetime.

Still, there was one thing that was not complicated. What she felt. Christine was in love.