Chapter 19

CHAPTER 19

" S orry, I am late," Adeline said. She brought her hand to her mouth and held it there as if she had become deeply embarrassed about being late.

Christine noticed the gesture but only partly. She was too engrossed in herself. She was not the sort of person who thought only of themselves, and she was not explicitly thinking of herself but of the way the Duke had made her feel.

She could think of nothing else that day other than the way his lips had felt pressed against her garden bud or how his hands were both strong and gentle at the same time or even how his breath on her lips had stirred a deep longing inside after he had made her climax.

"No, you are fine," Christine assured. "You can't be late in your own home, can you?"

Adeline giggled. "What has gotten into you, Christine? I was supposed to be here twenty minutes ago, and we were to paint together, but I got lost in the woods."

Christine frowned and finally looked up at her sister-in-law after realizing she was still staring off into the distance. "Lost in the woods? How on earth did you get lost in the woods, Adeline?"

"I don't mean lost like that; I mean lost like… well, like you were lost when I entered the room."

"What are you talking about?" Christine felt a little anger, but she knew it was rooted in her embarrassment. She could never tell Adeline the reason for what he felt.

"You were staring off into space," Adeline said. "I stood by the door for a while, watching you, and you didn't notice I was there until I spoke."

"I was thinking about things," Christine said. She could feel her face threatening to redden, and she needed to stay one step ahead of her body's natural impulses. "I am still trying to come to terms with being a duchess."

"Yes, is that it?" Adeline asked. "It seems to me that you are so in love with my brother that you can't think straight. Oh, what a wonderful feeling."

If Christine had not been so blinded by her emotion, she would have noticed far sooner the giddiness in Adeline's actions and words. She was not in love or loved, but she had felt something fleeting that, for a brief period, was far better than she imagined love to be.

"We should paint," Christine said, hoping to take the subject away from the lack of feelings between herself and her husband. "I thought we might paint the colors outside. I don't mean that we will go outside, though we can, of course, but we can take ourselves closer to the window and try to paint the trees or flowers out there."

"Oh yes," Adeline agreed. "I spent a lot of time walking out there today, and I feel I have absorbed so much that it might just flow from me and into my paintbrush."

"Then, let's begin," Christine said.

A made helped them both into some coveralls that fastened at the back, and then a footman repositioned the easels, tables, and paints. Refreshments, lemonade, and tarts were bought in and left by the far wall. After that, Christine excused the staff. She was the Duchess, but she didn't need someone waiting in the room for the smallest thing. She could call on someone if there was a real need.

"I have never really painted before," Adeline confessed.

"Then I am glad I am here to paint with you for the first time," Christine said. "I was tutored by a matron as a child, and I hated every moment of it. She chastised me over and over for not making my still lives exactly as they looked in the bowl. One time, I painted a banana purple, and I am sure she changed the same shade of purple when she saw it."

Adeline burst out laughing and had to pick up her brush when it fell from her hand.

"My father had me checked by the doctor after that because he thought I had hit my head and could not see colors properly, and I didn't have the heart to tell anyone that I did it on purpose because I really liked purple."

"Oh, stop!" Adeline gasped as she tried to stop laughing. "You must be making all of this up. Did that really happen to you?"

"It did, I promise," Christine affirmed. "This leads me to my first lesson, even though I am not a painting teacher by any means. Adeline, if you look outside and want to paint the trees blue or the sky yellow, you should go ahead and do it. Some painters like to paint exactly what they see. I do that mostly, but sometimes, I will add a little flourish, and I encourage you to do the same if you wish."

"I don't know if I know how to do that," Adeline said.

Christine dipped her bush in the water and then into some green, mixing up the watercolor paint.

"That is the beauty of it," Christine told Adeline. "If you don't wish to do it, you don't have to, and if you want to add something, you can add anything you like. Just paint what you feel."

"Paint what I feel?" Adeline asked. "I don't know if I will be able to paint it all."

"Yes, neither do I." Christine wanted to clamp her hand over her mouth, but she started painting instead and indicated for Adeline to do the same, so she would not question her anymore.

She placed the tip of her brush on the paper and painted large sweeping stripes across the bottom that would form the base layer for the grass. There was a lot in her heart that she wanted to add to the painting, but if she had painted what the Duke had made her feel, she would not have the right colors or a big enough sheet of paper to do so.

As she dipped her paintbrush in the water again, she felt her heart plunge into her stomach.

I have been concentrating so much on my own feelings that I have not been paying attention to what Adeline is feeling.

"You were lost in thought in the woods, thinking of the man you were with last night, weren't you?" Christine asked.

"Maybe," Adeline replied coyly.

"And the giddiness you have today is caused by him, isn't it?" Christine asked.

"You may be onto something, Duchess," Adeline teased as she applied paint to the paper. She was not really looking at what she was doing.

"I don't like keeping this secret," Christine admitted.

"You mustn't tell anyone," Adeline gasped.

"I promised you I would not, but you put me in a tough situation. Your brother is my husband, and I am not supposed to have secrets from him. And you did yourself no favors last night, disappearing with your man. If I were not there, you would have been caught for sure."

"I know." Adeline hung her head a little like a small child being scolded. "I didn't mean to go off with him outside, but I could not help myself. Have you ever felt so strongly about something that you can't resist it?"

Christine could only think about the way the Duke had made her feel the previous night. She did not notice that Adeline had been late, nor had she remembered that she was supposed to be painting with her, and all because she had been thinking about that feeling.

"Yes, I know that feeling," Christine agreed. She closed her eyes for a moment and tried to imagine what he would look like unclothed. Her mind blocked her from imagining it as if she had a chastity belt around her brain that had her waiting for the real thing.

"I had to see him last night, even if only for a moment," Adeline said.

"It was only for a moment, wasn't it?" Christine asked.

"Yes, of course," Adeline replied. "I know you are worried about me, but you needn't be. I want to tell you who he is, but he has sworn me to secrecy, and I have to respect that."

"If he wants his identity to remain a secret, then might he not be hiding something?" Christine asked.

"He knows the secrecy is silly, and he has admitted as much to me, but what he is truly hiding is his pride. He does not wish to ask for my hand or for my brother to know he is courting me until he has the money to provide for me, and that will happen very soon. His father has money tied up in various deals, and as soon as the investments pay off, he will give me the biggest wedding London has ever seen."

Christine did not like the sound of any of that but knew there would be no convincing Adeline.

There must be a way that I can have her talk to her brother about it.

"Listen, I know it sounds suspicious, and I was suspicious of him at first, but he took his time with me and showed me that he loved me before…" Adeline quickly slid her paintbrush over the canvas.

"Before what?" Christine asked.

"No, nothing," Adeline replied quickly.

"Adeline, please tell me you haven't."

"I don't know what you are talking about," Adeline said.

"Adeline!" Christine felt her anger rise, and once again, it was fueled by jealousy. She could not deny that the previous night with the Duke was one of the most wonderful she had ever experienced, but Adeline had a man who loved her, and she had slept with him. She has slept with him! "Adeline, please tell me you have not!"

"It was my choice." Adeline quickly dropped her paintbrush onto the table and folded her arms over her chest. "I am in love with him, and I had to be with him! I don't care what people will think; it was beautiful, Christine. We love each other, and we had to be together. He did not force me to do anything I did not want to."

Adeline faced Christine, her arms folded across her chest, and she stood staring at her, holding her ground. Then, she started to sob.

Christine's belly full of jealousy was sapped, and she took two steps toward Adeline before wrapping her in her arms.

"It will be fine," Christine said. "Everything will be fine. I am here with you."

"I did want to do it," Adeline maintained as she sobbed. "I wanted to lie with him, but what if it was wrong? We are not married, but we will be, but maybe I should have waited. Now, the wedding night will not be as special."

"It is done," Christine stated. "Society will tell you that it was wrong, but I will not tell you that. You did it, and I am here with you to deal with it."

Christine knew that everything about her marriage was wrong. She had become married, and there was no love or lovemaking. Adeline had experienced both, and she was unmarried. She had been worried about telling the Duke that her sister was seeing a man in secret, but they could never tell him she had slept with a man. It would bring too much disgrace.

"We don't need to tell your bother about this," Christine decided. "We can tell him about the man when you are ready, but I must be with you when you do, and we will talk to him together."

"I don't know what to do," Adeline said.

"I don't either, but we will figure it out together."

"I think I am late," Adeline whispered as Christine held her.

"You don't need to worry about that. You are here now, and I am here with you." Christine held her tighter.

"No, I think I am late," Adeline repeated.

Christine's stomach suddenly wanted to escape. She drew back a little, holding Adeline by the shoulders. "How long?"

"A week, maybe more," Adeline said. "Oh, Christine, I think I am pregnant. I don't want to be pregnant. I can't be pregnant!"