Chapter 16

CHAPTER 16

P ercival took in a deep breath and pushed his shoulders back to puff out his chest.

"Do you smell that?" he asked.

"I would prefer not to answer that or hear the answer to it," Theodore replied.

"It smells like potential," Percival stated.

"Ah, you sound like a reasonable man saying such a thing." Theodore took a sip of his brandy. "Will you expend on that, so you sound more like your old self?"

"The potential for me to get my hands on the body of some young debutant who does not know any better," Percival finished.

"And there it is," Theodore noted. "Why do you have to say things like that? I have been to many clubs with you, and we have sat with other lords and had wonderful conversations, but you come to events like this where there are young women dressed up, and you have to talk in such a way."

"Don't be such an oaf," Percival said. "Don't you look around and see what is before you and want to reach out and grab it? Metaphorically speaking." Percival furrowed his brows. "No, literally speaking." He let out a loud guffaw.

"I am a married man," Theodore stated.

"A married rake," Percival corrected. "You can go out there and get any woman you want and then return home to a warm body in your bed. You have the perfect life. I am very jealous of you if you didn't already know that!"

"That's not how it is." Theodore took another sip of his brandy. In truth, he didn't know how it was. He was getting used to marriage, and the only thing he knew was that it was not at all as he had expected it. He had expected to live the life he was living before marriage and barely see his wife, but that had not been the case so far.

"No, it is not how it is," Percival moaned. He beckoned with his index finger for a server to come over, and he took two of the glasses of champagne from the tray and placed his empty glass there in return.

Theodore expected to be handed a glass of champagne he did not want, but Percival kept both for himself. His friend was a viscount, but the title did not come with incredible wealth. He lived in bachelor lodgings in central London, and while he was not as rich as many of the lords at the ball, Theodore felt some disgust at how Percival acted.

Percival came not only for the women but for the free food and drink. Theodore understood that, and he did not begrudge his friend having fun, but there was a way to take advantage of the hospitality without being a knave or a dolt.

"If I had not come here tonight, I feared I might not see you ever," Percival continued. "I have extended multiple invitations, and you have replied to none of them."

"I have been busy," Theodore told him.

"Busy with what? You are married, but she shouldn't take up any of your time. I knew this would happen. She is changing you. You are a rogue, Theo, and you always will be, and that is the best thing about you. You are fun and do as you please, take what you want, and know how to have a good time. I shall have to find someone else to drink with if you continue to be so dull."

Theodore was not fully thinking when he replied, "Perhaps that is for the best."

"Oh, blast you!" Percival replied. "It is not for the best. No one attracts the ladies like you do or drinks as much or sings as well. Is this what I am faced with? Would you rather spend time with your wife than with your oldest friend?"

"No." Theodore knew it was the right thing to say in the situation, but as he thought more about it, he knew it was not the truth. "Yes. You are my friend, Percival, but I must spend time with my wife."

Not because I have to but because I want to. And the more I consider it, the more I realize why we are friends. The more time I spend with you, the more of a distraction it is from who I am and what I did.

"I never thought I would hear you utter those words," Percival grumbled. "I never thought I would see you married, but to want to spend time with your wife is—" Percival shuddered at the thought. "It is a good thing I am so drunk already, or I might be annoyed by your words, Theo."

"I don't mean to—" Theodore started.

Percival raised a hand. "You don't need to say anything more. This ball is much too formal and stuffy, anyway. The shrimp was nice, and I will have more champagne on my way out, but I double-booked myself for tonight. I have another event to attend, and the women there will not be so prudish. You should come along." Percival waved his hand through the air as if swatting away the suggestion. "No, your wife would not like that. Well, it has been a pleasure, Your Grace. I shall get out of here."

Theodore thought about telling Percival to stay, but there was no reason to do so.

Percival looked eyes with Theodore one last time, and he looked like a small child who had become lost. In many ways, Percival had never really grown up.

I am one to talk. Yet, I am trying. Or being pushed in that direction.

Theodore looked around the medium-sized, wood-paneled room he had found himself in. He and Percival had slipped away from the main event to have some drinks and talk. There were other gentlemen in the room, most of whom he knew in passing, and each of them was moderately wealthy, had a title, and a had a fondness for the ladies.

As Theodore left the room, it felt symbolic. He was walking away from the men he was like to find his wife and dance with her. The past life had always been fun, but he could not think about anything else at that moment other than dancing with Christine.

He found her with Adeline and an awkward young lord. The young man took Adeline's hand and led her to the dance floor.

"Perfect timing," Theodore said when he returned to Christine's side. "I was looking for an opportunity to dance with you, and Adeline does not need to be chaperoned for the next few minutes, so we should dance also."

Christine looked at Theodore with a hesitant smile. He put out his hand, and she immediately took it. He knew exactly what she felt, and it filled his mind with clouds. She was nervous to dance with him, but the brightness and sparkle in her eyes displayed her eagerness. They had been getting to know each other better over the past few days, and it had been a welcome change in his short marriage.

She does not entirely dislike me anymore.

Theodore gripped his wife's hand tight and led her to the dance floor.

I cannot let those feelings develop within her or it will spell trouble.

He thought quickly about Percival. He had not sent him away because there was a threat of true feelings of friendship developing between them. He had kept him around because he would never truly be friends with him. Percival was fun, and he had enjoyed many nights with the Viscount, but their friendship was purely superficial.

The same was supposed to be true of his marriage.

"Oh, look!" Christine gasped. "Irene is also on the dance floor with a gentleman. We will dance at the same time as your sister and my sister. Is it not magical?

It is only a ball. What could be magical about it?

That was what Theodore had thought to say, but as he took to the dance floor and looked into Christine's eyes, he did see some magic in the evening. Perhaps the hall's illumination picked out perfectly the emerald in her eyes, or that he had not danced with his wife yet, or how she looked in her long, flowing blue gown. It could have been that he knew Christine better than any other woman he had ever danced with.

"You look very nice this evening," Theodore said.

"Thank you." Christine lost the nervousness in her smile. "I had to put on my very best dress to keep up with how elegant you look."

Theodore put his hand out again, and Christine took it, her hand warm in his. She placed a hand on his shoulder, and when he went to place his hand on her waist, he found that he was nervous to do so. He didn't understand what had made him nervous.

Was it my interaction with Percival?

Theodore placed his hand on her waist and pressed his fingers onto her curves. There was something wrong with everything. She did not feel like other women, nor smell like them, or even look like them, even though she was stunningly beautiful, and he had been with many beautiful women in his life.

He tried to work out what was different about her. Nothing stood out as being in stark contrast to any other woman, it was only that she was different. He went back to the conversations they'd had at supper the previous few evenings, and he attributed it to that. He had thought it once already, and he thought it again. He knew her better than any other woman he had danced with, and it changed their dynamic.

The music began to play, and Theodore pushed his shoulders back, straightening his back and broadening his chest. He counted the beats in his head and led when the song began.

"Ah, you dance extremely well," Theodore said as they moved in sweeping arcs around the hall.

"You sound surprised," Christine replied.

"I hadn't thought about it until this moment," Theodore admitted. "When you demanded a dance at the ball, I assumed you could dance, but I had not considered whether you would be any good."

"And?" Christine asked.

"You are amazing," Theodore replied.

"You are not so bad yourself."

Theodore could feel the space between them, and he found it ridiculous that he was not holding her close. He had danced with her sister not so long ago, and he had held her tight, but that was only to provoke a reaction in Christine.

Let's see if I can provoke another reaction.

Theodore pulled Christine in tight to himself, pulling her body against his. He looked her in the eyes the entire time, hoping to see a change. She let out a moan that was lost in the noise in the hall. Theodore smirked at his wife.

"I only made a noise because I was surprised—it had nothing to do with anything else," Christine said.

Theodore moved his lips close to her ear. "Is that so?"

"Mmm-hmm," Christine replied, drawing out the mmm part.

Theodore spun Christine in a slow circle and pulled her back into his body. He had danced closely with many women, but Christine felt closer. She was pressed against him, but it was another thing between them that was different.

He felt the grip on his shoulder change as Christine held on tighter.

He could feel her body through the dress, and it felt as if she had reached inside him to stir his soul. She had a hold on his shoulder, but the hold she had on him went deeper than that.

"What is wrong?" Christine asked.

"Nothing is wrong," Theodore replied.

"Your look changed," Christine noted. "You are thinking of something."

"I was only thinking of you," Theodore lied. He was thinking of her, but he was thinking of other things, too, things that he did not want to talk to her about. He only wanted to dance and have a drink and ensure Adeline did not get hurt.

The memory of dancing with Irene, Christine's sister, flooded his mind. Christine had been right. He should have escorted her back after the dance, but he did not. Even if she had been smitten, it would have been the right thing to do.

What if a lord did that to Adeline? How would I feel about it?

"You can talk to me if you want," Christine told him. "I will make no judgments."

"What? No judgments! What is that supposed to mean?"

"Something has changed in you," Christine stated. "I have not known you long, but I have known you long enough to know that. Is it…?"

It felt like she had not only reached in and stirred his soul but that she had reached into his mind and knew what he was thinking; she had gone into the past and knew about his brother. He had been cut with a dagger once on a particular raucous party, but her words cut him deeper and were more uncomfortable than the wound on his arm had been.

"Is it… what?" Theodore asked.

Christine could not answer immediately. Theodore spun her three times on the spot before bringing her back in. He wanted to go back a few minutes and not dance with her at all. He had gotten too close physically, and she had mistaken that closeness for emotional closeness. He had answered her questions at supper, but that did not mean she got to ask anything she wanted.

"Your father?" Christine asked.

"My father?"

"Yes." Christine looked over his shoulder and then back at him. "My father is here with Irene because my mother can't be here tonight, and you are here with Adeline because your mother can't be here tonight. I know your father has passed away, and I thought you might be thinking of him. I don't know how he passed, and I have been afraid to ask in case it brings up bad memories. I'm sorry. We are supposed to be having a pleasant evening, and I should not have opened my mouth."

Theodore's entire body unclenched. "It is far better to be interesting than pleasant. It is fine. I don't mind talking about it. My father passed away shortly before my eighteenth birthday. He was taken by pneumonia in the extremely cold winter of eighty-one. He had not been outside for a particularly long time, but when he returned home, he had trouble breathing and developed an infection. He passed a week later."

The grip on his shoulder tightened again.

"I am terribly sorry that happened to you. My goodness, Adeline must have been very young at the time. Oh, my goodness me! Why am I talking about such things when we are here to dance and have a good time? This is not the time to be discussing such things."

"I really don't mind," Theodore said, glad she had not mentioned his brother. "You want to know me better, and you ask about my life. That is how a marriage should be. And if we look as if we are discussing serious topics when we are dancing, then everyone will accept that we are a loving couple."

"Yes, I suppose you are right," Christine agreed.

She had sensed something internally in him, and he could do the same with her. She smiled as she spoke, but she wore the smile uncomfortably like an ill-fitting dress.

"Now, you have something on your mind," Theodore observed.

There was no time for her to answer as the dance came to an end. Those surrounding the dance area clapped softly and politely, and Theodore let Christine go to do the same.

"We are here to have fun," Theodore said, reminding himself of the fact. "It was wonderful to dance with you. If you like, we could?—"

Theodore stopped talking when he saw the look in Christine's face. There was a slight wrinkle in her brow, and her eyes danced around the room. She had spotted something, and it had worried her.

"What is wrong?" Theodore asked.