Chapter 13

CHAPTER 13

T heodore sat in his study with a glass of brandy. He sipped the drink, feeling the warmth as it slid down his throat, but each sip left an aftertaste of bitterness and ash as if someone had charred lemon rind and added it to the glass. The taste was not as pleasant as usual, but the alcohol helped to take the edge off his mood.

There had been an incident several years ago when he had got into a fight with another lord on White's and had come off the better of the two but had still returned home with a bruised and cut face and body. If it were a boxing match, it would have lasted multiple rounds. He had sat at home after with a glass of brandy (to add to the multiple drinks he had before the fight) and had rubbed his knuckles in his study.

He did not rub his knuckles as he sat with his glass of brandy, but he did feel as if he had gone multiple rounds with his wife.

Who the blast do I think I am? I stand up and fight when there is injustice, but what has she done to deserve such ire?

It had started as playful bantering but had quickly crossed the line into a full-blown argument, and Theodore took full responsibility for it. She was the one who had changed her life and now lived in his home while his life was much the same as before. And it was his insecurity that led to the argument. She might have prolonged the quarrel, but he should have been the one to bring it to an end.

He downed the rest of his brandy and got up from his desk. He looked down at the papers he had not been able to concentrate on with the argument echoing around in his mind and shook his head. He left the room and headed down the hallway toward Christine's bedroom.

He knocked when he got there and heard her shuffling toward the door. It was not late, and she would not yet have been asleep.

"One moment," she said from inside.

Theodore was not a man who waited for anyone or anything, but he gave her some time to get herself ready to answer the door. It did not take long for the door to be opened a little.

There was something in the way the dim lamps from the hallway illuminated just her eyes with the rest of her face in the shadows. The hazel in her eyes was more brown than green—darker than usual and more bewitching.

Theodore paused for a second, staring into the richness of her eyes in the half-darkness. He had stormed from his study, prepared to make things right, but as he looked into her eyes, he did not know what had to be done to make things right. She was upset at him, and rightfully so, but the argument earlier that evening was not the sole cause of it. They butted heads regularly, but there was something deeper between them.

Theodore could see a fulcrum in the back of his mind: a length of wood finely balanced on a single point. He did not know which way it would tip.

"May I come in?" Theodore asked. "Or will you join me in the hallway?"

"I am dressed for bed," Christine observed. "You should come in."

Something shot through Theodore like a small kitchen mouse scurrying through the larder with a cat chasing it. He had seen her once before in her nightgown when she had come to his room, and the sight had been one of the most glorious in recent memory.

He would not claim to anyone that he had not slept with multiple attractive women, but there was something about how she had looked in her sleek nightgown, her slim curves delicious in the moonlight, that had excited him beyond measure. He should not have pounced on her as he did, but she had been irresistible.

When she opened the door, he found her robe covering her; he had to struggle to stand tall as his body threatened to sag under the weight of the disappointment.

He stared at her for a moment, wishing for the robe to disappear, but it did not. When he found her eyes again, there was a slight tint of green in them again now the shadows were removed.

Christine pursed her lips and stepped aside.

Theodore passed her and tried to decipher the look in her eye. Her pupils were dilated but not due to any light source. She was excited to have him in her room. Yet, the rigidity in her body said otherwise.

He waited until she had closed the door behind them before he turned to face her. She moved slightly to be the first to say something, but he held up his hand to stop her.

"You need not say anything, Christine." The Duke closed his eyes tight for a second before opening them. It was an unfamiliar situation, and it did not sit well in his stomach or mind. "I have been a fool for far too long, but this evening took the biscuit. I was rude to you, and you do not deserve to be treated that way. I should not have goaded you when we were enjoying a perfectly fine meal together, and I should not have argued with you when you voiced your frustrations. I have spent my life fighting, but that does not excuse or explain my actions. I was a clod, and I do not wish to be, for I am not one."

"I… Sorry, I…"

The Duke chuckled. "I have rendered you speechless because you did not expect me to come here and apologize."

"No, I did not." Christine smiled, and not only did it light up her entire face, but it condensed all of the tension in the room and tossed it out of the open window. "I must applaud you for being the better person. I fully intended to stand my ground and be angry at you for the rest of my life, and I assumed you would do the same, but here you are. It is welcome to hear such a thing from a man."

Theodore joined her in smiling. "We really do have some annoying traits in common, don't we? Are you telling me that if I had not come here tonight, we would have both lived out the rest of our lives being angry at each other and never talking?"

Christine giggled, and her breasts shifted under her robe.

Blast that nightgown. I saw her in it once, and I can't stop thinking about the way it hugged her body. The blasted thing made me jealous.

"It sounds ridiculous when you say it like that, but that might have well been the case," Christine admitted.

"Then I am glad I came here tonight," Theodore told her. "I will admit that I did not want a traditional marriage, and I understand why you are frustrated with our situation. Can we agree that neither of us wanted this?"

"Yes, I believe we can agree on that."

Christine finally left the door she had been standing by as if she were guarding it against intruders and went to the bed, where she sat down. Her robe moved slightly, offering the most tantalizing glimpse of the nightgown below. Theodore could not see anything, but he knew what lay below, and his imagination ran wild.

He rubbed his chin to clear his mind. It was fine to think about other women in that way, but he did not want to get close to Christine. He did not want to get close to anyone.

"I would be delighted if you would join me at the ball next weekend," Theodore suggested.

"You would?" Christine frowned a little, fearing a trap or a trick.

"Yes. We seem to rub each other the wrong way, but that does not mean I don't find your company pleasant." Theodore rubbed his chin again. "Perhaps not pleasant but interesting. It is much more valuable to be interesting than pleasant. There are thousands of pleasant people, but most of them are boring. I can count on my fingers the number of interesting people I have met in my life, and I firmly count you amongst them."

"If someone called me unpleasant, I would take it as a slight against my character, but I like to be thought of as interesting," Christine considered.

"I want to ensure I am not misconstrued here," Theodore warned. "I did not say that you were unpleasant, only that you were not pleasant. And I am sure you can be very pleasant when you want to be, just as I can."

"I can be perfectly pleasant when I want to be." Christine giggled again. "And I have seen you be pleasant and charming on multiple occasions. It is effortless for you."

"I have had a lot of practice," Theodore admitted.

They both fell silent but not through any shared tension or awkwardness. For the first time since they had both returned to the house after their wedding, they were at peace with each other. Theodore was not sure it would last forever, but it made him forget about some of the stresses that had been hanging around his neck for years. They would return as they always did, but they were gone or lighter for now.

"I would like to negotiate some sort of truce," Theodore said, breaking the silence. "We have been at war for—I was about to say far too long, but we have only been married a little under two weeks. Still, it feels like we have had this brick wall between us since we met, and we throw insults at each other when we can so as to keep the upper hand. I would like to break down that war between us."

"I would like that," Christine said.

"This will still be a marriage of convenience," Theodore stated. "Perhaps it can be more convenient for both of us."

"I agree," Christine said. "Would you like my list of demands?"

Theodore chuckled and walked over to the chair at the side of the bed. He flopped down into it and reached his hands out to grip the ends of the arms.

"I would love to hear your list of demands," Theodore said.

"Very well." Christine crossed one leg over the other as she sat on the bed, and the robe fell open around her knee.

Theodore felt like a schoolboy again, and he had to stop himself from looking at her.

A knee! Why do I feel a ripple of excitement in my stomach at the sight of her knee?

"I would like us to still dine together for supper when we can," Christine said. "I know you are a busy man, and sometimes, your work takes you into central London, so I will make no demands for us to dine every night together, but I would like us to dine together when we can."

"That sounds very reasonable," Theodore agreed.

"And when we dine together, I would like to talk with you," she added.

"Talk with me?"

"Yes," Christine asserted. "I would like us to get to know each other better. You said it yourself; I am an interesting and wonderful woman."

"I might have said some of that." Theodore could not help but smile. She was a wonderful woman in some ways.

"Then it makes sense that you would want to talk with me and discover my interesting opinions and the things I have done."

"You have done many things?" Theodore asked.

Christine looked away as she tried not to smile. "You shall just have to find out over our next supper."

"I look forward to it," Theodore replied. "Both learning about the magnificent events that have made you into the woman you are today and hearing the daring opinions that go against modern standards and decorum."

"I know you are trying to mock me, but I do have some daring opinions," Christine maintained.

Theodore sat forward in his chair, pulling himself to the edge of his seat. He leaned forward some more, bringing himself closer to his wife. "I would love to hear one of your daring opinions right now."

"I… well?—"

"Just one small daring opinion to help me understand my wife better." Theodore had felt the shift in the room, and he was happy they were talking more playfully again. He only wondered how far he could push it.

"Well, I believe that there should be more equality between men and women. I have been told many times that I can't do something because I am a woman, but I should be allowed to do exactly what I wish—I should be allowed to do the things a man can do."

Theodore smiled and bit his bottom lip. Even before he said it, he knew it was too provocative, but he could not help himself.

"We can get into the nuances of that opinion at supper sometime, but I can't help but think you have looked at me, and you wish to live the life I have lived. Is that it, Christine? Do you wish to have men in your bed?"

Theodore knew exactly where he was steering the conversation, some instinct kicking in even if he would not follow through.

Christine could not turn away quickly enough, but the redness that sprung to her face was too quick to hide. Christine must have realized that it showed some defeat to turn away from the comment, and she spun her head back around like a flag in stormy weather.

"I know exactly what you are trying to do to me," Christine stated. "You believe I will be shocked by your roguish tongue, but I am not. I will have you know that I am a woman with needs, but I do not wish to live the life you do. I can think of nothing worse than jumping from bed to bed with men I do not know, no matter my desires."

"My goodness, we have a lot to discuss at supper, my dear. I said I only had one question, but now, I must know your needs and desires."

Theodore really did want to know, and the thought of the woman before him having some desire for him filled his stomach with fire. Fire! That was exactly what he was playing with. He did not want to know his wife more intimately than he already knew her, but it was hard to stop his mind from tumbling over and over like a rock falling down an embankment.

He was playing with fire, but the way she looked at him, like a small child before a platter of cakes, threw fuel on the fire, and he did not know if he cared about being burned.