Chapter 5

CHAPTER 5

" L ucy!"

The sudden sound of hurried footsteps shattered the stillness. Lucy looked up just in time to see her mother rush into the room, her face a mask of distress. Tears streamed down her cheeks, her usually composed demeanor shattered.

"Mother," Lucy's heart shattered at the sight of her mother so defeated. Patience's sobs filled the room as she clutched a handkerchief to her mouth, her whole body trembling with emotion.

"Oh, Lucy," she managed between sobs. "What have we done? Our family...our reputation…'tis all in tatters!" Lucy felt a pang of guilt tighten around her heart. She moved to her mother's side, wrapping her with an arm around her as the events of the previous night replayed in her mind with a relentless torturous clarity.

She had always believed herself to be cautious, to have learned from her sister's grave mistake. Yet here she was ensnared in a scandal so profound that it threatened to engulf her family's tenuous reputation entirely.

Oh, Theodosia, I haven't been so wise, after all. Her fingers clutched the folds of her dress, wrinkling the fine muslin as she trembled with anger and despair.

"A duke, Lucy! How did this come to be?"

Duncan, the Duke of Northwick as she had learned a little too late, had been a perfect stranger until that fateful evening. Now, their names were entwined in whispers throughout London, with hers being the culprit, no doubt.

Her mind wandered in all directions. It was all she had strength for as she traced her fingers absently over the hem of her dress.

The Duke of Northwick .

"I am most sorry, Mama. I had no knowledge of his standing."

"Oh, Lucy. We are done for. It is all over!" Her mother cried in despair.

She had suspected him to be of high standing, judging by the swell of his clothing and arrogant air. But she had never expected that he'd be a duke. A duke! And she had kissed him, allowed herself to be mauled on the floor like a common…a common…she hated to think of it but a common adventuress. She had turned out to be the name she'd been called by the wicked tongues of society.

But he kissed her first. It doesn't matter , she thought, you kissed him back just as fervently. It is also your fault . Oh, how stupid she had been, getting carried away and allowing herself to be nothing but baggage. How could she have been so silly? Wasn't this what she had been actively avoiding all these years? And yet, somehow, she had managed to ruin it all in one night.

"Who knows? It could be all over the papers as we speak." Patience said dejectedly.

Oh no, Lucy thought with dread in her gut, The Times! She was more than likely the hottest topic in the papers right now! Lucy buried her face in her hands, hot tears spilling anew. How could I have been so foolish, she chided herself, the words, a harsh rebuke. I was to be the one who restored our family's honor, not plunge it further into disgrace.

She couldn't shake the memories of the faces, a mix of shock, pity, and glee. She could never forget it. It was burned into her consciousness. She had done the most logical thing she could think of–she ran. And what a sight she must have made, running through the estate like a headless chicken in her torn dress. It was just the kind of thing that was splashed on the front page of The Times.

The room seemed to close in around her, suffocating her. Its not-so-opulent decor–a reminder of her family's glory –now only seemed to mock her plight. The weight of the scandal pressed down upon her chest, constricting her breath, and she fought to keep the sobs from overtaking her completely.

She stood abruptly, crossing the room in a flurry of motion. The reflection that met her in the mirror was almost unrecognizable—her usually composed countenance was now a mask of sorrow and self-loathing. Her golden hair, once meticulously arranged, now fell in disarray about her shoulders. And her eyes, red-rimmed and swollen, bore witness to a night of sleepless torment.

"Curse you, Duncan," she muttered, though she knew the blame lay equally with herself. "How could I have let this happen?" But she knew. She had allowed herself to be drawn in, and had let her guard down, despite the ever-present shadow of her sister's fall from grace.

Lucy's thoughts drifted to her sister, the scandal that had nearly destroyed them once before. They had never fully recovered from it. It had taken years to re-enter society, years of careful maneuvering and stringent adherence to propriety. And now, with one reckless moment, she had undone it all. The thought was unbearable.

"Oh, Lucy, my dear. I do not know if we can survive this"

Lucy paced the length of the room, her mind a storm of regret and self-recrimination. There seemed no way out, no path to redemption. The ton was merciless, its memory long and its judgment swift. She would be whispered about, shunned, and any hopes of a suitable match dashed against the unforgiving rocks of her indiscretion.

"I am such a fool," she hissed, her nails digging into her palms as she clenched her fists.

"Do not beat yourself up, my child."

"I should have known better. I should have been stronger!"

The image of her parents' disappointment loomed large in her mind. They had pinned their hopes on her, the one who would secure a prosperous future for their family. How could she face them now? How could she endure their silent reproach, their resigned acceptance of her failure?

"Oh, Mama, I have failed you." Lucy sank to the floor, her dress pooling around her in a cascade of fabric. The fight seemed to drain out of her, leaving her a hollow shell of despair.

"What will become of us now?" Lady Patience wailed, a fresh wave of tears hitting her.

"Mama, please, try to calm yourself," she implored, wrapping an arm around her and guiding her to the upholstered chair beside her bed. It was the only still-living piece of furniture in her room.

"How could this happen, Lucy? After everything."

A fresh wave of tears threatened to onslaught Lucy. She squeezed her eyes shut, not willing to make the situation worse than it already was. "‘Tis not as dire as it seems," she hoped.

Lady Pemberton shook her head, her eyes red and swollen. "How can you say that? You were seen with him, in such a compromising position. The Duke of Northwick! How could this have happened?"

The memory of the previous evening resurfaced vividly. "I never intended for any of this to happen," Lucy said softly as a thought crept into her head. She tried to banish it, but it kept coming back, refusing to be banished into netherland. "But Mother, there is a possibility that the duke might propose. That could set everything to rights." Her heart thudded as hope, mayhap too high, bloomed in her chest.

Lady Pemberton looked at her daughter, hope and desperation etched on her face. "Do you truly believe that he will?"

Lucy hesitated, her own doubts gnawing at her. "I cannot say for certain, but it is a possibility we must consider. If he does, it could salvage our family's reputation." Oh, what it would do to alleviate her family's problems. She could only hope and dream.

Lady Pemberton's grip on her daughter's hand tightened. She could clearly see the wheels in her mother's head turning. "And if he does propose, would you marry him? Could you marry a man you do not love?"

No. It was on the tip of her tongue to declare that she would not sacrifice her future for a man she barely knew. How could she marry a man she did not love? And live out the rest of her life with someone so grim? But his kisses…his touch…no. She would reminisce on that. That was what got her into this predicament in the first place. The thought of being the duke's bride made her eyes sting with unshed tears.

But could she really do that to her family? Could she abdicate her duty? It was her fault, after all. She knew the weight of her family's expectations and the precariousness of their social and financial standing. They would not have been in this situation if not for her stupidity and carelessness in the first place. It was the least she could do. She owed them this much. Besides, she did want a family of her own.

"Do not worry for me, Mama. I will do whatever is necessary for our family," she said, her voice steady despite the turmoil within her.

Lady Pemberton regarded her daughter with a sad smile. "My brave girl. My sweet Lucy," a tear escaped her left eye as her mother caressed her cheek soothingly. "I only wish for your happiness. Even if you do not marry, you will always have a home here with us. Love has a way of finding us when we least expect it. Do not lose hope."

"Yes, thank you, Mama. I really needed it," Lucy sank into her mother's embrace, feeling a bittersweet comfort in her words. Of course, her family wouldn't turn her out. They would never abandon her. How silly she was for entertaining such thoughts. Push came to shove, she would end up with Theodosia. She had heard the countryside had a quaint view. Maybe, it wouldn't be so bad. Besides, she would be reunited with her sister.

Her heart sank at the possibility of never having the family she dreamed of. It was looking to be the case with each moment that passed. But there was not much she could do about it.

Just then, the door to her room creaked open, and Caroline bounded in, urgency quickening her steps.

"Oh my, Caroline. Whatever has you hot on your heels?" Lucy asked in alarm. Her younger sister was always in a rush. But this time, she wasn't so sure it was the usual. Trepidation rose in her belly. He was here. She just knew it.

"Mama, sister," Caroline said breathlessly, "the Duke of Northwick is here. He has come to speak with you," she gestured to Lucy. Lucy heard her mother exhale a sigh of relief. If only she could feel the same way. Instead, she felt her heart begin to race.

Oh no, he was here! Why? She had not truly expected him to come. And now that he was here, the reality of the situation felt overwhelming. No. She wouldn't let fear control her. She would go and see what the duke wanted. It was a good thing he was here. Wasn't it?

She stood, smoothing her dress with trembling hands, and exchanged a look with her mother.

"Be brave, Lucy," her mother whispered, giving her hand a squeeze that did little to reassure her. She nodded and made her way to the foyer, her steps heavy with anticipation and dread. She felt like a lamb being led to the lion's den.

She stopped in her tracks as she saw him in the not-so-far distance, aloof. His back was to her as his tall frame cast a shadow in the dimly lit hall. The gravity of the moment hung in the air, palpable and suffocating. Lucy took a deep breath, steeling herself for whatever was to come.

The future of her family hung in the balance. He held the key. And she said a silent prayer, not knowing what to expect.

But one thing was sure: whatever happened would make or break her future.