Chapter 14

CHAPTER 14

R ebecca chewed her lip as she stood outside the sitting room a few days later. William was already inside waiting. She rubbed her hands down the skirts. It was one of her new gowns. She still couldn't believe such fine things belonged to her. It seemed like far more than she deserved.

She hoped she looked as nice in it as Mary told her she had. She had spent extra time with her lady's maid getting dressed that day, using it in an attempt to energize herself for this conversation.

All of that brought her thoughts back to the closed sitting room door in front of her. It was so simple. All she needed to do was reach out and turn the handle, step inside and say a few words. It wasn't that hard.

It shouldn't be that hard.

Part of her wanted to say it wasn't worth it and simply enjoy her time with William. She could always ask another day. There was no reason to rush into this.

And yet, ever since the their little confrontation with her father in town, she found herself growing more and more comfortable in her new rule.

She was even getting better at putting together menus. So good in fact that she had almost completely taken over the task from Mrs. Anderson. That wasn't even to mention the growing tenderness between her and William.

It was getting to the point that Rebecca couldn't help but begin to hope that something was blooming between them.

But none of that was the point at the moment

The day they returned from the park, she had made a decision, and now today was the day. She was going to ask William about it.

After all, the worst he could saw was no.

And so, she gathered her determination, took a deep breath then pushed her way inside.

William had likely been waiting for some time and had already made himself rather comfortable. He was reclined in his usual chair, a thick book open on his lap.

When he saw her, he looked up andthen frowned.

She couldn't blame him for the look of concern on his face. She was sure she looked just as stressed and nervous as she felt.

"Are you quite all right, Rebecca? You seem a bit tense," he asked, worry creeping into his voice.

"Yes! I- well, that is…." she trailed off.

"Whatever it is, take your time. If you need a minute before you want to talk then we can talk about something else or sit in silence for the time being."

She shook her head. "No, I don't want to put this off or I might lose my nerve."

"Well, I must admit, you have piqued my curiosity,"he set the book he had been flipping through aside. "Please, you may continue whenever you are ready."

"Thank you," Rebecca took a breath and then started to speak. "There's something I want to ask you."

"Of course," he gave her a reassuring smile. "Please feel free to ask whatever you like."

After a moment, she continued. "I was wondering, it's only that I am duchess now, typically that comes with certain responsibilities. I had noticed there were a few I hadn't started working on quite yet."

"Do you feel like you're struggling with them? I can talk to mrs. Anderson if there's more you want her to do to help while you get used to things. Perhaps even set up more lessons with her or even another lady who can help."

"No, no it's nothing like that, but it is good to know I can get more help if I need it."

"You can always get more help if you need it. I want you to be confident and comfortable in your position, so whatever it takes to make that happen is yours."

"It means a lot to hear that. I hope that means you will consider my request."

He smiled. "I would be happy to talk about it as soon as you tell me what it is."

"I was thinking, maybe if it isn't too much trouble, we could host a dinner party?" she squeaked out, hands toying with her skirt as she chewed on her lip.

He hesitated. "Rebecca, I don't know about that. It has been some time since I went to anything like that let alone hosted it. I don't mean to discourage you. I just want to make sure you've thought about this. It would be a lot."

"I understand, and I don't want to push it, but I really want to try and host something. It wouldn't be anything big. Just a few people. It wouldn't be a ball or anything either. All I want is a simple dinner party I promise to keep the guest list short."

He hesitated but didn't say no. Instead, he asked, "Why don't we talk about this a bit more first."

"Of course," she lit up. "What do you want to know?"

"Why don't we start with something simple? Who all would you want to invite?"

"I wanted to start small, so I only had a few people in mind. Just Penelope, her mother, and Patrick, as well as Patrick's wife if he has one. I can't remember if you mentioned one or not, I'm sorry. And I seem to be rambling a bit now. Sorry. I will give you a minute to collect your thoughts," she winced, falling silent.

William frowned. For a moment Rebecca was sure he was about to say no. She opened her mouth to tell him it was all right and they could do something else instead. After all, the last thing she wanted was to make him uncomfortable.

Besides, she probably wasn't even ready for this. What was she even thinking asking? She needed more time, andmore experience before she could even consider something like this.

But then he said, "If we are going to do this, you should invite your father and sister as well."

She lit up. "You mean I can do it?"

"As long as you keep it small, I see no harm in it."

"Oh, thank you, William! I promise I will do a good job putting it together," she raced forward, pulling him into a tight embrace.

William stiffened, arms hovering awkwardly in the air. After a moment, he wrapped them around her though they lay stiff and unsure on her shoulders.

The hug went on longer than usual, nerves growing in Rebecca's chest the longer she stood there. She had expected him to pull back almost as soon as she had leaned in, but he hadn't. Time ticked by but both of them still stood there.

Maybe she should pull away now?

Before she could move, he did. Pulling back, William straightened out his jacket.

"I have no doubt that you will do a wonderful job," he said, with a tight smile. "But before we go on, I would like to talk about it a bit more."

"Of course," she said, taking her seat beside him. "I would be more than happy to tell you whatever you want to know or let you decide any details you need to to feel comfortable with this."

"I don't need to give you my opinion on every little thing. The main thing I was worried about was the size."

"Then what else do you want to talk about?"

"When did you want to do this? did you already have a day in mind or did you need help coming up with one?"

Rebecca smiled. "I was going to ask Mrs. Anderson for help with that if you said yes, but there's no reason the two of us can't start on that if you want to help."

"I think I would like that."

He smiled. "Me too."

"Why don't we start with the day? Are there any days you already have plans?"

He thought for a moment, "I don't think I have anything coming up for at least the next month or so. Or were you thinking of doing it further in the future than that?"

"I'm not sure. I don't know exactly how long it takes to put something like this together."

"Well, why don't we call Mrs. Anderson in? I'm sure she would be able to help."

"Are you sure we should do that? I would hate to take her away from her other duties. I already take up so much of her time."

"I can say with the upmost certainty that she would be happy to help us get to work on this as soon as possible."

She lit up. "All right then, if you're sure, I would love that."

"Then I'll go and get her. Give me just a moment."

A short time later, the three of them were all sitting together. Once Mrs. Anderson joined them, he found himself sitting back and watching more than anything else.

Watching how excited Rebecca got he couldn't help the way his own excitement seemed to grow. It was almost contagious. He could feel it starting to creep in, doing its best to push away the concerns and the doubts.

Still, he couldn't quite press down the seed of anxiety blooming in his chest at the thought of all those people coming into his home.

He was glad she wanted to keep it small. He wasn't sure if he could handle much more than that.

But even keeping it small, he couldn't remember the last time anyone other than Patrick had come to see him.

One thing was for sure, it was going to be quite the adjustment, but for Rebecca, he would find a way to manage.

It was no less than she deserved.