Chapter 1

CHAPTER 1

OCTOBER DANIELS

I’ll never forget the night I met my husband. I clocked him checking me out the second he walked up to the restaurant. The popular chain restaurant had a little bit of a wait, so my friends and I decided to wait outside in the fresh air. We had gone to Des Moines from Bellmare, our small town in Iowa, looking for our prom dresses. I couldn’t find one, but I wasn’t really trying. I didn’t have a date and didn’t want to go, but my friends were so excited, and I wanted Tex-Mex. Win-win, if you ask me. Little did I know that would be the best night of my life. That was just the beginning, though.

All night, I pretended to be interested in the conversation going on around me, but I wasn’t. I watched him watching me. I didn’t know him, but the butterflies I felt swarming in my stomach all through dinner made feel like I needed to. I knew when we decided to hit the coffee shop, and he was there too that he wanted one of us. I prayed it was me. I mean, I’m pretty sure it is. He didn’t even look at anyone else. Not even Denise, my prettiest friend. When we went to an eighteen-and-up club on a whim, and he followed us. I knew. That should have freaked me out, but it didn’t. I don’t know why it didn’t, but I knew that he would never hurt me.

When he asked me to dance, I felt like I had won the lottery. We danced all night, and then I gave him my number. We looked so different. He was in a three-piece suit, and I was in jeans and a T-shirt, but none mattered when his hands were on me. I didn’t expect him to actually call me since we were so different, but he did, and we went out. He swept me off my feet, and I fell head over heels in love with him. How could I not? He’s the best man I’ve ever known, and I still can’t believe he chose me. It would be easy to think it had anything to do with his money, but it doesn’t. Don’t get me wrong, it’s nice not worrying about anything, but we could live in a tent as long as were together, nothing else matters. I love him so much that it scares me sometimes. You shouldn’t be able to love another person so damn much

After only six weeks, I said yes when he asked me to marry him. Of course, I did. I wanted to be his wife more than I wanted my next breath. I still had three weeks of high school left, but I didn’t care. I was his. He kept me out of his bed but still managed to teach me the things I desperately wanted to know. Once we got married and went on our honeymoon, I don’t think we left our hotel room one time.

That was five years ago now. I finished college, and we’ve traveled all over. I’ve been working in Doctor Kimble’s office in Bellmare. He’s the doctor who delivered me twenty-three years ago.

Eli bought a house in town when we were dating, and once we got married, he moved his practice here. He’s the only attorney in town. Before you went to Des Moines to get anything done, I love that we’re a busy couple. We have friends; we go to dinners and parties. We love our lives, and we don’t want anything to change.

My life now is such a big change from my childhood, when it was just my Mom and me. She was married and had trouble conceiving. She used IVF to conceive me, and within minutes of me being born, her husband decided he couldn’t raise another man’s child and left us. Good riddance, but that left my mother depressed and unable to work for the first few years of my life.

She was never really able to recover from that. I never asked for anything extra. I didn’t participate in any sports or dance classes until I was old enough to work to pay for it myself. I got a job at fourteen. I saved half of my check and gave the other half to my mom for the bills. When I realized she wasn’t paying the bills with it, I started paying them myself. I never had an extravagant meal until I met Eli. I never had clothes that didn’t come from the thrift store. I never had anything. It was a shock to learn that we had similar childhoods, but I love my life the way it is now. It’s amazing not to have to worry about where my next meal is coming from or if the electric bill will be paid on time, and there is something to be said about that kind of security.

“Earth to October,” my friend and sort of boss, Pasty, says, snapping her fingers in my face. We’re at our favorite lunch spot, Jansen’s, on Main Street.

“Yeah?” I ask, shaking my head.

“What do you want? Sally’s waiting on your order.”

“Shoot. Sorry. I’ll have…” I begin, hesitating as I look at the menu. Nothing sounds good. I’m so nauseous. I have been for days now. “Can I just get some crackers? I’m not feeling well.”

“Really?” she asks, checking my temperature.

“Yeah, for a few mornings now. It’s annoying.”

“I bet you’re pregnant.”

“Pregnant? I can’t be pregnant. I’m on birth control.”

“Girl, you know that birth control isn’t a hundred percent.”

“I know but…”

“But nothing. Let’s go.”

“Now? What about lunch?” I ask, internally panicking. I can’t be pregnant.

“This is much more important. Let’s go.”

We leave the restaurant and head back to the office. In the office, I head straight for the pregnancy tests in the cabinet of Exam Room A, go into the connected bathroom, rip the test open, and take care of business.

In three minutes, there’s confirmation in black in white of what of knew in the back of my head this whole time. I’m pregnant. The one thing I never wanted to be. I never wanted kids. Eli didn’t either.

I never wanted to bring children into this world, and I don’t want them to go through any of the things I went through. How will I tell Eli that our lives will change irrevocably now?