Chapter 9

One fair afternoon a few days later, almost a fortnight after the wedding, Maddison was walking back from the nearby village of Lennox with Alana. The pair were loaded down with bags and baskets of herbs and other ingredients Alana required for her healing work. Maddison had also brought herself a new pair of gloves, a pretty silver necklace with a tear-shaped pendant, and a quarter pound of the hard toffee she liked. She was in quite a good mood.

They were discussing news of the attack, and Maddison was taken off guard when Alana casually asked, "D'ye ken where Tadhg is?"

Maddison shook her head. "Nay, all I ken is that he's been sent out scoutin' for information about the raiders. Odhrán says he's the best scout there is."

"Aye, that he is," Alana said with a small nod. "I hope he's all right."

Intrigued, Maddison scrutinized her friend's' expression. "I'm sure he is." She paused for a moment until her curiosity got the better of her. "Alana, I hope ye dinnae mind me askin', but is there somethin' of a romantic nature goin' on between the two of ye?"

"How did ye ken?" Alana asked, giving her a sharp look. "Has anyone said anythin'?"

"Nae, it's just the way yer face changes whenever his name is mentioned."

"Am I so transparent?" Alana let out an aggrieved sigh.

"Aye, ye are," Maddison told her with a matter-of-fact shrug as they walked along the broad, busy track leading back to the castle.

"Well, I suppose ye might as well ken the story," Alana said with a wry smile. "Everyone else does."

"Only if ye want tae tell me," Maddison insisted, secretly desperate to know.

"Well, Tadgh and me had been in love since we were bairns. We'd even talked about getting' married. But then one day, about four years ago, he simply up and left the castle without so much as a word."

"What, he didnae even leave ye a note tae say where he was goin?" Maddison asked, shocked.

"Without a word, nae note, nothing," Alana assured her. "Nae even Laird Murphy or Odhrán or Liam kent where he went. At least, that was what they said. Remember, this was four years ago, and I did nae get so much as a letter from him the whole time he was away."

"When did he come back?"

"Just a few months ago, nae long after Laird Murphy's death."

"So, what did ye dae fer all that time he was gone?"

"Fer the first two years, I was a mess. I felt like a dead woman walkin'. I had no idea where he was, and it hurt tae think he could just walk out on me like that. But at the same time, I was terrified he'd been hurt or killed and was lyin' in a ditch somewhere. Ach, the pain, Maddy, it was terrible. I couldnae sleep nor eat with worry fer ages."

"Ye poor thing, Alana," Maddison sympathized, moved by her friend's suffering. "So, did ye wait for him tae come back or did ye find love with someone else?"

"Well, I think I would have just waited and waited, but then me maither fell sick, and her one dyin' wish was tae see me happy."

"Settled, ye mean?"

"Aye. Settled with a good man. So, I found one. His name was Sloan, and he was serving as a soldier in the Clan Lennox army. He was in love with me, and he'd proposed to me more than once before I finally agreed tae wed him."

"So, ye were nae in love with him, but ye wanted tae grant yer maither her dyin' wish," Maddison said, understanding at once.

"Aye. Nae long after the weddin', me maither passed away. And less than a year after that, Sloan was killed in battle. He was only twenty-six, and he really was a good man," Alana explained sadly. "After that, I could nae think of havin' another man in me life. It was all too much loss tae take. But then, another two years passed, and I was goin' intae the keep tae see a patient when I saw Tadgh. Just standing there, talkin' tae Liam and Odhrán, just as if he'd been there all the time! I nearly fainted, I can tell ye, Maddy."

"And what did he say? Did he tell ye why he went away like that?" Maddison asked. She was surprised when Alana shook her head vehemently.

"Nay, and I've nay asked him. He keeps tryin' tae talk tae me, but I've sent him off with his tail between his legs. I'm over it now. I've made a life fer mesel' without him, and I've nae wish tae ken what he was doin' all that time."

"So, ye've nae got back together?" Maddison asked, a little disappointed.

"'Tis enough tae ken he could walk out on me at any time. I can find nae future in a man who can just up and leave me when he feels like it, with nae explanation."

"I see. So, ye willnae even talk tae him?"

"I just try tae avoid him as much as I can."

"Well, that is a shame. He seems like a really kind man. I'm sure there must have been a very good reason fer him leavin' like that," Maddison could not help saying.

"Mayhap, but I'll never forgive him fer what he did, any more than ye can forgive Odhrán fer his lies."

"Aye, I understand how ye feel," Maddison assured her, for it seemed to her that their troubles with men were similar. She trusted Alana enough to have confided in her some of the truth about her hatred for Odhrán, but not all of it, especially not that he had killed his own father to save her life. She sympathized with Alana's attitude towards Tadgh because it mirrored her own towards Odhrán, but seeing it from the other side... Was it right?

That being the case, she could not understand why she kept wishing Alana would give Tadgh a chance to speak and explain himself. Was it the romantic in her that wished they could rekindle their old love? She did not know. By the same reasoning, if she was not to be a hypocrite, then ought she not give Odhrán a fair hearing too… Of course, that was out of the question, yet she found herself feeling rather torn about it.

She was quite distracted by the time they arrived at the cottage infirmary and unloaded their supplies. Deciding she needed some time alone to think, after a quick cup of tea, Maddison took her leave and headed back to the castle with her purchases, turning over their conversation in her mind.

Once in the chambers she shared with Odhrán, she placed her packages on the table and sat down, feeling a little weary after the shopping expedition. At that moment, Jess came in, carrying a large bouquet of flowers in a vase.

"Och, there ye are, me lady. I missed ye comin' in," Jess said with a smile. "Where would ye like me tae put these?"

"Where did they come from?" Maddison asked, eyeing the blooms curiously.

"They come from the garden. Old Frazer, the head gardener, is very proud of his flower garden."

"Oh, did he send them up fer me? How thoughtful. I must thank him personally."

"Nay, me lady, the laird ordered them. He's given instructions that ye should always have fresh flowers in yer chamber, as well as anything else ye want. 'Tis very thoughtful of him, is it nae?"

Maddison was startled by that but did her best to hide it. "Um, aye, I suppose it is. Ye can put the flowers here, on the table."

"All right, me lady." Jess obeyed, setting the vase down inches from Maddison's nose.

"Mmm, they smell lovely," she was forced to grudgingly admit, disturbed by Odhrán's kindness despite her constant hostility towards him. Should I thank him? Nae, that would show weakness in me resolve.

"Aye, they dae," Jess agreed, standing back to admire the display. "Now, are ye peckish at all? Can I bring ye somethin' tae eat or drink, me lady?"

"Nay, thank ye, Jess, I just had a cup of tea with Alana. Ye go about yer business. I'll be fine fer a while," Maddison told her, wanting to be alone to sort out her feelings.

"Very well." Jess crossed to the linen hamper and pulled out everything that needed washing. "I'll be off with this to the wash house then," she added, bundling all the washing into her arms until it almost obscured her completely.

"Let me get the door for ye," Maddison said, hurrying to assist the maid, who bravely attempted a small curtsy before waddling off down the hallway with her burden. Maddison shut the door behind the girl and returned to her seat at the table, propping her chin in her hands, her gaze resting on the lovely blooms.

They prompted her to think back over the last week, especially the scandalous kiss she and Odhrán had shared. She had never kissed a man before, and just thinking about how she had kissed him back so passionately made her blush even now. Lacking an explanation for her extraordinary behavior, she preferred to deny it had ever happened.

They had not spoken of it since. Mind ye, she had to admit they seldom spoke at all except the most cursory phrases when necessary. Unless they were arguing, of course. She opened the packet of toffee and broke off a large piece to suck while she thought more deeply about the situation.

It was after the kiss that she had started to notice all the various little ways in which her husband's behavior towards her had subtly changed. And the changes were deeply worrying to her, for she knew they were slowly eating away at her resistance.

The instruction about the flowers was but one example. There was also the fact that he had stopped complaining about being made to sleep on the floor and had not attempted to lay a finger on her. He seemed unwilling to engage in fighting with her, keeping his cool and being perfectly polite even when she provoked him. And she provoked him often.

She blushed to think of the way she had cornered Liam and tried to flirt with him, and when she recalled how Odhrán had picked her up as if she were a naughty child and carried her off, a frisson of excitement ran though her. Annoyed with herself, she quickly squashed it.

At dinner, although she never spoke or looked at him directly, he always made sure her glass was full and that she was offered the nicest morsels. Lately, she had noticed that more sweet puddings, jellies, and custards of the kind she liked were being served, and Odhrán insisted on serving her a portion of each. It was almost as if he knew she had a sweet tooth and found it impossible to resist them. Just eating them made her angry at herself and at him for his stealthy strategy. She suspected that, with every spoonful she ate, he celebrated a little victory. It had only made her more determined to shun him.

Glancing across at the nightstand on what was technically her side of the bed, she eyed the stack of books which had mysteriously appeared there two mornings ago.

"Where did these come from?" she had asked Jess at the time. "Did ye bring them up when I asked ye about the library the other day?"

But Jess had shaken her head. "Nay, me lady. I cannae read, so I'd nae ken what tae bring ye. 'Tis likely the laird overheard us talkin' and brought them up fer ye."

"Oh," was all Maddison could say, feeling her cheeks heating up. Guilt stung her when she realized Odhrán had gone to the trouble of finding books he thought she might like despite being so deeply embroiled in his worries about the attack on the border.

Ach, why does he have tae be so damned nice!

The whole day had proved very stressful so far for Odhrán. Word had come through the night before that another border attack had occurred to the north-east, exactly the same as the last one. In the council meeting that morning when the news had broken, he was even more angry and frustrated that before.

"Crops and farm buildings are still burnin', and folks say their animals have been stolen in numbers, with the brigands leavin' several innocent farmers and their families badly affected. Two were killed and several wounded," Renly told them all.

"There's nae sign of Tadgh yet. I'll go with Liam and Angus and see if the people in the affected village can give us any more information about the attackers," Odhrán told the gathering, his heart plummeting to his boots. However, he was determined not to show how rattled he was, wanting to keep up a strong capable front as laird. "I'll have a few more scouts sent out to the villages on the border. They may be able to offer some level of protection and find out anything useful tae tell us about who's behind these attacks," he said decisively.

After the meeting, he rode out with a small party to the village in question, to see the damage. He listened patiently to the peoples' stories of the attack, assured those who had lost crops and livestock that he would provide for them, and commiserated with the bereaved, promising a fitting funeral for the dead and vengeance for the living.

"I'm nae farther forwards in identifyin' who's behind all this," Odhrán angrily admitted to Liam and Renley as they rode home later that afternoon.

"Aye, there's nae much of a description tae go on," Renly said, shaking his head regretfully.

"Just a group of around fifteen mounted men in dark clothing and wearin' masks," Liam observed. "'Tis all we have tae go on."

"At least until Tadgh returns," Odhrán pointed out. "I pray he gets back soon with some intelligence, and in one piece too."

"Dinnae worry about Tadgh, he can take care of himself," Laim said, sounding to Odhrán as if he was trying to convince himself of his brother's safety. Odhrán held his tongue, for he felt exactly the same and could not help worrying about his friend, who still had not returned.