Chapter 27

CHAPTER 27

" I 'll stay here tonight," Cressida told Matthew when he returned. "I think Victoria needs me with her.

She had gone out into the hall to speak to her husband, and even being that far away from her sister felt wrong. She wanted to go back into the room at once and put her arms around Victoria, hold onto her and make sure that she was safe. Even though she knew the danger had passed, there was something about being able to reassure herself of that physically that felt very necessary.

She knew that by insisting she was going to stay with Victoria, she would be making it seem to Matthew as though she was trying to avoid staying in the room they had rented. And while that wasn't her primary reason, she couldn't deny that it was a benefit of the situation. As much as she was growing to care for and appreciate her husband, things were still awkward between them. They had never discussed that kiss. And the idea of doing something as intimate as sharing a bedroom was a difficult thing to reckon with. It would be much better to simply stay with Victoria.

Matthew nodded. "I think that's a good idea," he said. "You two should be together tonight."

"Your hand is bloody." She took it in hers.

"It's not my blood," he assured her. "I'm not hurt."

"You didn't fight him again while you were outside? I feared you might be doing that."

"I didn't fight him. I told him he wasn't to return to London, that's all."

"Do you think he'll listen?"

"If he knows what's good for him, he will."

Cressida sighed and closed her eyes. "I hope you're right," she said. "I don't want him anywhere near Victoria ever again."

"You don't need to worry about that," Matthew promised her. "I have plenty of people in town, and I will be putting the word out about him. If he's seen at all, I will know quickly, and I'll have him brought to me to deal with. When that happens, I promise you, he will regret ever showing his face."

Cressida nodded. "Thank you," she said. "Matthew, I'm so glad I didn't come out here alone. I wasn't thinking about what I was doing. You were absolutely right when you said I needed you to accompany me. I wouldn't have thought to stop at the inn. And if I had stopped, if I had discovered Victoria with that man, I don't think I would have been able to save her." She shivered, thinking of it. She had never found herself in a situation where she was unable to help her sister, and it was a terrible thing to picture.

Thank God for Matthew. Without his help, something dreadful would certainly have happened.

Matthew didn't even hesitate. He pulled Cressida right into his arms and held her against his warm body, rubbing his hand in gentle circles on her back until she began to relax. "It's all right," he said quietly. "Everything's all right now. We took care of it. Victoria is going to be fine."

"You don't mind if I stay with her tonight?"

"Of course I don't mind. She needs you."

Cressida nodded, relieved. "Good night, then. I'll see you in the morning at breakfast."

She pulled away from Matthew, but she lingered a moment, her hand still in his. It was so reassuring to be near him that—in a strange way—she half wished the three of them were all staying in the same room. She would have felt safer with her husband there to protect her tonight, and to protect Victoria as well.

Matthew headed down the hall to his own room, and Cressida went into Victoria's.

Her sister had gotten into bed, but she looked up when Cressida came in, her hands still wrapped around her mug of tea. "Did you forget something?"

"I'm staying here tonight," Cressida told her. "I'm staying with you. I don't think you should be on your own right now."

But Victoria frowned. "Cressida—I don't want you to misunderstand. That means a lot to me. But I think that I'd rather be on my own right now."

"You would?" Cressida hadn't expected that. Her sister had always wanted her around—had always needed her. Had something changed? "You're not still feeling embarrassed, are you?"

"A little bit, yes. But that isn't the reason." She stared down into her tea. "I made a terrible mistake. It almost cost me dearly."

"Everyone makes mistakes. What happened isn't your fault."

"It might not be my fault, but could I protect myself better next time? I don't want this to happen again. I did show bad judgment, and I got myself into trouble. I need to think about what happened. I need to spend some time alone with my thoughts. I want to be on my own tonight, Cressida, please."

Cressida wasn't sure. "I'm afraid you'll leave," she admitted. "I'm afraid I'll come back in the morning and you won't be here."

"I promise that won't happen," Victoria assured her. "I promise I'll be here in the morning when you come back. But for tonight, would you stay with Matthew, so I can have some time and space to process all this?"

Cressida's nerves tingled at the thought of going back to Matthew's room. It was a lot to ask, though she was sure her sister couldn't know that. Victoria didn't know that she and Matthew had never shared a room before.

Asking a married lady to stay with her husband—that ought to be nothing at all.

And Cressida wanted her sister to be comfortable. She wanted Victoria to have whatever she needed. As always, she was ready to put her sister before herself and to make whatever sacrifices were necessary.

"Very well," she agreed. "But you know where I'll be if you change your mind—if you need me. Don't hesitate to come and fetch me if that happens, all right?"

"Don't worry," Victoria assured her. "I'll do that."

Cressida nodded and stepped out into the hall.

The moment Victoria's door closed behind her, she felt a chill. She was acutely aware of just how alone she was, standing here, about to go knock on Matthew's door and tell him that she wanted to stay with him after all.

And she knew, too, that she couldn't take no for an answer. Victoria had been clear about what she needed, and Cressida would never deny her. If Matthew thought it was a bad idea for the two of them to stay together, Cressida would have to fight him.

That was a terrifying thought. Not only was she going to have to stay with him, she might have to fight him for permission to do that.

But she would just have to be bold. This was necessary. It was what Victoria needed her to do.

She knocked on the door, heart pounding, dizzy with nerves.

There was a sound of shuffling around from inside, and then the door opened.

Matthew had taken off the top layer of his clothes to prepare for the evening, and Cressida was momentarily taken aback. It wasn't that she hadn't seen him dressed for sleep before, of course, but on that occasion, she had been in the grip of fear over a storm, and it simply hadn't registered. Things were different now. It did feel as if she was seeing him this way for the first time, and it was almost like seeing him undressed. Her cheeks immediately flushed, and she looked down, hoping that he wouldn't notice.

"Is everything all right?" he asked her. "I thought you had gone to bed."

"I had," she said. "But…well, would it be possible for me to stay in here?"

"In here with me?"

"I don't mean to inconvenience you."

"You aren't inconveniencing me," he said. "And you're my wife. Of course I'm not going to tell you you can't come in." He stood back to admit her, and Cressida crossed the threshold. "It's just that I thought you meant to stay with your sister tonight. Are you sure nothing's the matter?"

"She wanted to be alone," Cressida explained. "And after her ordeal, I want to give her what she wants, even if it means you and I stay here in this room together."

"Well, that's all right," Matthew said. "You don't suppose she's in any danger, do you—being on her own like that, after everything that's happened? I think if it was one of my sisters, I would be concerned."

"Of course I'm concerned. But I also know that the best thing to do is simply to honor what she wants," Cressida said. "I want her to be comfortable, even if it would be more comfortable for me to be at her side tonight. And I think she'll be all right. I know Victoria's moods very well, and I can see that what she wants in the moment is to sit in bed and be at peace, to have things quiet and calm so that she can reflect on everything she's been through. I see no problem with giving her that peace."

"I agree," Matthew said. "I think it's a wise and generous choice you're making."

"But…it does mean that I need to spend the night in here with you."

"You know that's all right, don't you?"

"I know it's all right with you. I know you're not the sort of gentleman who would force his wife out of his own bedroom at an inn! You're a good man. But it is…a bit awkward."

It was very awkward. She was underselling it. She didn't want to stay in here with him. Even though she liked him and enjoyed his company, even though she was deeply grateful for everything he had done for her tonight, this felt massively uncomfortable, and she would have done almost anything to get out of it. If only there had been another room! She would have happily taken a room by herself. She would have happily slept on the floor in Victoria's room if her sister had wanted the bed to herself. Even riding back to London, sitting up all night in the carriage, might have been preferable to this.

But she knew, too, that this was her only option. And there was a part of her that did want it. There was a part of her that longed for the experience of staying here in his room with him. She would be with him when he fell asleep. That seemed so powerful, so intimate, that it frightened her—and called to her.

"Your bag is on the chair," he said, pointing. "Would you like me to step out while you get ready for bed?"

"That—yes, that would be kind." She blushed scarlet.

"I'll be in the hall," he said. "You can come and get me when you're ready."

He left, and she was alone.

Cressida went to her bag and took out the nightgown that had been packed for her. She changed into it quickly and glanced at her reflection in the looking glass, wondering if she dared to let him back in.

Just as she had seen him in his nightclothes before, he had seen her in this state. It would not be a new experience. And yet, conditions were so very different now that it felt new. It felt as if something so momentous was taking place tonight that Cressida truly didn't know if she was ready for it.

She also knew she had no choice. She couldn't leave him waiting in the hall forever.

She opened the door.

He came to her at once and stood looking at her for a moment, taking her in. Cressida felt so vulnerable that it was almost as if she was wearing nothing at all.

It frightened her.

And it excited her.

Matthew stepped into the room and closed the door behind him.