Chapter 29

Elara

As I lay on the examination table, my heart felt as if it was in my throat, and I fought the urge to wince as Anyah spread cold gel across my stomach with a wand. The room was filled with a tension that hung heavy in the air. Even Anyah remained quiet as she focused on the screen in front of her with a concentration that I had never seen on the healer's face.

Kai, Rhys, and Rowan, sat with an anxious intensity, their usual aura of dominance subdued as their eyes were also fixed on the screen that I couldn't quite see from my position.

I glanced between them, seeing that their faces held a mixture of hope and fear. I was a bundle of nerves myself, and my hands trembled slightly. I gripped onto the edge of the examination bed, attempting to quell the mix of anticipation and dread that bubbled in my stomach.

"You are indeed blessed, Elara. Two healthy heartbeats," Anyah finally announced, her voice echoing in the quiet room and a collective gasp went up in the air. That was quickly followed by an eruption of joy from Kai, Rowan, and Rhys.

They were going to be fathers two times over. I felt a surge of happiness and pride, a warmth spreading through me as I imagined a house filled with the patter of tiny feet, but that warmth was almost overshadowed by a looming sense of unease. As the celebration swirled around me, I couldn't shake the anxiety that I felt at the thought of carrying their children. What if something went wrong? What if I ended up being a bad mother?

I knew that it was too early to have these kinds of thoughts, but from the moment that Rhys had told me about my pregnancy, it was almost like I had been attacked by a flood of doubt and uncertainty and it had only continued to grow and grow.

Anyah wiped the gel off my tummy and Rowan immediately rushed to my side to bring me to a sitting position.

"From what I can see, everything looks normal and the twins are developing right." Anyah's smile faded slightly. "However, this is no small feat. Carrying two lives within you is a delicate balance, Elara, and you have to take extra care. Rest is paramount and I don't think I need to emphasize that regular check-ups are essential." Her voice grew stern.

"Any sign of discomfort, no matter how small, must be reported immediately. We must pray to the Goddess for a smooth pregnancy, but should anything happen, we need to be able to discover it early enough so that we can take the necessary steps," she finished, and although I knew the older woman was only sharing the facts, her words caused the dread in my stomach to rise even higher.

"Can I still continue my training?" I asked Anyah.

"If these trainings are physical, then absolutely not! You need to stay off your feet and rest as often as possible," she said, dashing my hope of returning to the daily routines I loved and had gotten used to over the weeks.

"You can trust that we'll take great care of her, Anyah. Thank you so much for your help," Kai said, and I moved out of the bed, sighing heavily when Rowan and Rhys, who were closer to me, each took my hand and began leading me out of the room while Kai stayed back to collect the medicine that Anyah wanted to prescribe for me.

It wasn't like I didn't appreciate the help from all three of them. I did, more than anything in this world. I was grateful to have them in my corner, looking after and sharing this phase of my life with me. But right now, I felt overstimulated.

Since the announcement of my pregnancy, they had begun treating me like I was a fragile egg who could break at any point, and while I appreciated their love and concern, it was starting to feel suffocating.

They had begun planning a mating ceremony, and Kai had explained that the mating ceremony would bind all four of us together, which meant that I could draw from their strengths and abilities, which would be beneficial for both me and the incoming babies. While a part of me was really looking forward to it, especially since it would strengthen the bond between my mates and myself, a much bigger part felt a great sense of apprehension over all the rushed planning.

The journey home was a blur of excited chatter and planning.

"We need to start making plans for a nursery right away. We need to use neutral colors since we're not sure of the gender of the babies yet, and even when we confirm, I still think it'll be nice if we maintain neutral colors," Kai said, as he looked into the rearview mirror to wink at me in the back seat.

"I totally agree, and we should start shopping soon. The earlier, the better, because we are going to need a lot of clothes, toys, and essentials," Rhys chipped in.

"We have also started making plans for the mating ceremony which will be held tomorrow. We want it over and done with as soon as possible so it's not hanging over our heads," Rowan said, and I hummed in agreement. Kai also began saying something else, but I tuned out the conversation. I looked out the window, seeing the familiar streets blur together. My mind was elsewhere.

Not only was I worried about being pregnant and unprepared for this new life, I also had to worry about Silas.

The recent feeling of being followed or watched while I was out, along with the attack on the borders that had happened weeks ago, confirmed that Silas was still scheming and had yet to give up. I shuddered to think of what he would do if the news of my pregnancy got to him.

Even though I hadn't met my little ones yet, I knew that I would go to the end of the world to make sure they were protected. I would die before I let Silas touch a hair on their heads, and my mind was whirling with thoughts about how best to keep them protected and far away from Silas' clutches.

"We're home, baby," Rowan announced and I snapped back to the present, taking the hand he offered as he led me into the house.

I felt exhausted and I wanted nothing more than to sleep, but as soon as we got to the room, I was engulfed in a whirlwind of excitement and planning.

"We were hoping to also talk to you about the mating/Luna ceremony that we are planning for tomorrow," Kai announced and my heart dropped to my stomach at his words.

It took a moment for my mind to process the information completely, but when it did, it felt like my body and mind went up in flames. They must have seen the panic on my face because they immediately reached out to me.

"Elara?" Rhys called and I shook my head, pulling my hand away from his.

"I'm not ready for that. There's a lot of things that could go wrong. What if the people don't want me? What if I mess it all up? What if something goes incredibly wrong and then you all start to regret your decision…"

"Hey, baby, stop," Rowan said, taking my feet into his hands so he could massage them, but the action did nothing to help my anxiety. "This is what we want, so believe us when we say it's what the people want too. You're not going to mess it up. Nothing will go horribly wrong. We'll be here to hold your hands and help you every step of the way. The mating ceremony is perfect to bind all four of us, and it'll be good for not just you, but the babies too."

Kai and Rhys chipped in too and they began trying to convince me to see why this was the best idea.

Finally, the dam broke. "Stop! Just stop it, all of you. I need some time to breathe," I snapped, immediately regretting my outburst as I saw the look of hurt wash over their faces. But the words were already out.

"I just need to breathe and think. Please, understand," I added, my voice softer now.

"It's okay. We understand. We'll give you some space," Kai finally responded when the initial shock of my outburst subsided, and with gentle kisses on my head and lips, they made their way out of the room, shutting the door behind them and leaving me to the silence.

I let out a breath I didn't even know I had been holding, sinking deeper into the quilt while fighting the tears that threatened to fall. I felt so overwhelmed, and the blissful feeling of sleep that I had hoped for was nowhere to be found. I was stuck with my raging thoughts and worries.

A knock came on the door, and I frowned, but before I could respond, the door was pushed open, and Naya poked her head into the room.

"El," she called, approaching the bed carefully and I pulled myself into a sitting position, inviting her to sit.

"Your mates wanted me to check up on you. They said they might have pissed you off," she said as she moved closer to me, and I felt regret once more at the harshness of my words.

"They didn't. I'm just a little overwhelmed," I confessed and Naya pulled me into a hug.

"It's okay to be overwhelmed. I hope you always remember that you have one of the most genuine support systems and all the love you could ever get." She pulled away as she spoke, tilting my head gently so she could watch my face.

"What's wrong, Elara? Why do you look so sad?" she asked, pulling me back into her arms, and I sniffed, the tears that I had struggled so hard to keep at bay came running down my eyes in torrents.

"I'm pregnant," I whispered and Naya gasped loudly, pulling out of my hold with excitement shining in her eyes.

"Goddess El, that is wonderful news!" she began but quickly sobered up. "What's the problem? You've always wanted a family! This has always been your dream."

"I'm scared. What if I turn out to be a bad mother? What if I can't protect my children and they fall into dark hands like Silas'?" I sobbed as I spoke, and Naya's features softened.

"You can't think like that, Elara. You'll be a wonderful mother, and you have three amazing mates to help you along the way so you never have to feel like you're alone. You've been safe here all this time and I'm sure that they will continue to make sure that you and your baby remain safe," Naya said softly and I cracked a smile for what felt like the first time that morning.

"There's so much to plan. Goddess, you have quite a lot of shopping to do! Come on, come on, let's get on it. It's never too early to shop for babies! Get your ass off this bed, young lady!"

Naya made whooshing motions with her hands to get me out of bed and the action made me laugh, but it worked, because I pulled myself out of bed, picking up my purse that had been left on the dresser before taking the hand that Naya offered and following her out of the room. The thought of leaving the safety of the pack house made me anxious, but I knew that I also needed the distraction.

"I can't believe you're going to be a mother!" she exclaimed as we walked down the stairs, and my heart skipped a beat at the words. It was going to take some time before I could get used to the sound of that.

In the living area, Kai, Rowan, and Rhys were sitting with Smith and they seemed to be having some sort of meeting. Their conversation halted the moment Naya and I walked into the space.

There was a look that seemed to pass between Smith and Naya, but it had happened so fast that I almost thought I had imagined it. Kai stood up first, his stone-cold expression softening into a smile when he saw me.

"Baby, are you okay?" he said as he beckoned to me and I moved toward him, accepting the warmth of his embrace as he wrapped his arms around me.

"Yeah, I am. I'm sorry I was mean to you three," I said, looking in the direction of Rowan and Rhys as I spoke and they all moved toward me, taking turns to place gentle kisses on my lips.

"It's okay, baby. We're sorry for overwhelming you, and we're glad you're doing better. Are you going somewhere?" Rowan asked and I nodded.

"Naya wanted us to go shopping."

The words were barely out of my mouth before all three men were speaking.

"I'll send a guard with you."

"You need a guard."

"You should go with a guard."

The way they all said the words at the same time made me laugh and even Naya joined me.

"I don't think I'll stand a chance if I argue," I said, and they all agreed with that.

With a guard accompanying us, we made our way to the mall and the shopping trip turned out to be a welcome escape. Naya was the perfect companion, and her laughter was infectious. We went into various stores, trying on clothes and fitting together tiny baby outfits. For a few hours, I managed to forget my worries.

But as the day wore on, a growing sense of fatigue washed over me. My feet were starting to hurt from walking around and I felt ready to call it a day.

"I think we've done enough shopping for today, Naya. I don't feel too good anymore," I said and as if on cue, a wave of nausea hit me with unexpected force.

Thankfully we were close to the restroom, and I dashed into it, moving into one of the stalls to empty my stomach. I hated the feeling of it, and just like that, it felt like the day had been ruined. I knew that I needed to go home.

When I emerged from the bathroom, I bumped into someone.

"Oh, I'm so sorry!" I said, but the person didn't even stop to acknowledge me. Instead, she continued on her way like I had not just walked into her.

I was about to look away when the person turned in my direction and a cold dread immediately washed over me. Her eyes, a piercing shade of blue, held a knowing glint, and across her lips was a sick and twisted smile.

It was Scarlett, one of Silas' favorite Sirens.