Chapter Thirteen

"You better not try to make me a morning person," Elijah grumbles, Alex failing when he attempts to sneak out of the bedroom for the second day in a row.

He laughs and walks over to the bed to give Elijah a kiss on the forehead. "Wouldn't dream of it. And you won't be spending the night here tonight anyway. You have to work."

"Ugh, the night before Thanksgiving. When everyone wants to get drunk off their ass before they have to deal with family all day tomorrow."

"Well, I understand the temptation," Alex says. "This will be my first holiday without Cass and Elena by my side."

"Mmmm, then you should come see me tonight."

"At the bar, or after you go home?"

"Both," Elijah answers.

"Okay."

"Yeah?"

"Did you really think I was gonna say no?" Alex chuckles.

"I don't know. I wasn't great company last night."

Alex glances over to where the picture of Elijah and Peter rests on the nightstand. "Something something, for better or worse, in good times and bad."

"Just the sight of wedding rings was enough to have you reciting that shit when the sun's barely up, huh?"

Alex grabs a pillow and swings it at Elijah's head, then backs away toward the door. "Take your time and let yourself out whenever you're ready. I'll see you tonight."

And it's just that easy, as hard as it is to say goodbye at all, Alex grabbing coffee and something small to eat in the kitchen before he packs up his work bag and heads to the office for what he assumes will be a half day for everyone. He doesn't actually hear from Elijah, and maybe that's a good thing, a little space after two emotional nights, and he runs a couple of errands after lunch, mostly to keep his mind on anything else. Once he's home again, there's time to take a late afternoon nap before he catches up on a couple of shows, changes clothes, fixes his hair, packs a bag, and makes the drive to the bar.

Elijah hadn't been kidding about people wanting to drink before the holiday, the place more crowded than it probably is on any other Wednesday, but Alex takes quick note of one table open next to the wall, such an easy place for him to hide, and a single open stool at the far end of the bar, where Elijah stands now.

Watching him. Waiting for him. The Edgar to his Peter, except for all the ways Edgar and Peter hadn't quite figured out the balance of fear and hope, and Alex so badly wants to.

He slides onto the barstool, and Elijah smiles. "Hey, handsome. Decided to step out of the shadows?"

"Seems like a good night for new adventures."

"Kinda got a jump on that a couple nights ago, didn't we?" Elijah points out just before he ducks his head, though it does little to hide the pink in his cheeks. "No, wait, listen, I don't mean—that sounds terrible, and I—you don't have to prove anything to me. Adventures or—I need you to know I can be plenty patient."

"Still want you to be," Alex says, reaching across the bar to tip Elijah's chin upward until he can smile at him again. "But I want a lot of other things, too."

"Okay, that's—yeah. You wanna start with dinner and a beer?"

"Yeah, that sounds perfect."

The next few hours are full of all the expected chaos in a crowded bar, but Elijah is as attentive as he can be, and Alex isn't demanding much of anything anyway. There's plenty of time to get tipsy and sober again, so after Alex"s plate is cleared, Elijah brings over another beer and a shot of the good tequila.

"Body shots with the cheap shit are gonna have to wait for another time," Elijah teases. "Unless you want me to find someone here for you."

"Nah, you're my only someone."

When the shot is gone, Alex goes back to the beer and enjoys the view, Elijah such a natural behind the bar, flirting with everyone in a way that doesn't threaten Alex at all, laughter erupting everywhere and the music overhead the perfect complement to the fun being had. And then slowly, just as Alex thinks he's getting the slightest bit impatient, more people leave than come in, the noise softening around them, and all the space to breathe leaving Alex ready to gasp for a little more. Eventually, a couple of the other bartenders are gone too, and Tyler nudges Elijah's shoulder with his own.

"You guys should get out of here," he offers.

"I'm not gonna stick you with closing again," Elijah argues, though he's apologetic when he glances toward Alex. "We're okay."

Tyler just laughs. "Sure. But also, I've already got family crashing at my place, and I am not in a hurry to get back there, so how about we pretend you're doing me a favor? Just clean up your shit and go. I'm totally fine, I swear."

Elijah blushes again when Tyler winks, then he turns to grab Alex's empty glass and take care of as much as he can at his end of the bar, disappearing into the back a minute later.

"Thank you," Alex says.

Tyler shrugs. "That guy has had my back more times than I can count. This is really the least I can do."

Alex gets up then, sliding a tip across to Tyler, whether he"ll be happy to accept it or not, and he uses the next couple of minutes to stretch his legs and make his way toward the door. Elijah isn't all that far behind him, nodding goodbye to the handful of customers left before he presses his hand to the small of Alex's back as they step outside. He thinks maybe Elijah will take his hand as they walk to their cars, but he never does, and Alex hasn't decided whether he wishes he had.

"You're okay to drive?" Elijah asks once they've reached the parking garage.

"I am, yeah. Promise. See you there?"

There's a moment in which Alex wonders whether Elijah will steal a quick kiss before he turns away, but just as with his hand, he never gets quite close enough, and this time Alex is sure it's better this way. His entire body tingles with all the ways he wants to be touched, and there's no reason for him to get a hint of that relief now.

When they close Elijah's front door behind them though, relief happens everywhere, all at once, even while Alex just wants and wants and wants and can't begin to know how to chase each new thing.

"You should've never come to the bar tonight," Elijah says, his mouth hot at Alex's neck, Alex's body slammed tight against the door. "I just wanted to quit my job and do this instead."

"Glad you didn't quit. And now you've got all night to do this."

"Gonna make me do all the work?" Elijah teases.

Alex's hand fists around Elijah's hair until he can tug him away and kiss him, splitting the difference between reverent and obscene in a way he wouldn't have thought possible. Elijah's hands seem to land in one place, then another, and another, Alex distracted with the need for him to stay still, even while he wants Elijah to keep moving.

Alex scrapes his teeth against Elijah's lower lip. "Fuck, I—I still don't really know what I'm doing. I've touched you, but that wasn't—you knew, but I—I'm gonna need—"

"Patience."

"Yeah."

"We're doing a terrible job with that right now."

"Yeah," Alex whimpers, Elijah's thigh so solid and exactly where he didn't know he needed it to be.

"Can I take you to my bedroom?"

It means all of this will stop long enough for them to move away from the door and down the short hallway, but there's a bed there, and maybe no need for clothes, and Elijah will be so damn patient, and Alex will learn. In the end, he supposes the question is entirely rhetorical, but he answers anyway.

"Please."

They don't end up letting go of each other all that well, which has them tripping over Poe a little, and apologizing with loads of promises of long walks and treats in the morning, but they make it into Elijah's room and Alex is pushed against that door too, Elijah so much gentler this time around. He leans in for a kiss, slow enough for the rhythm of it to carry Alex far, far away, only to bring him back when Elijah's fingers catch the hem of Alex's sweater and he begins to pull it over his head. Once it's gone, Elijah's lips crawl along Alex's jawline, his breath warm at Alex's ear.

"Now it's your turn," he murmurs.

Alex nods when their heads are still close enough for him to feel the scrape of Elijah's cheek against his, and he shivers with it, taking another second or two before he manages to untuck Elijah's shirt and fumble his way to the top button, nervous as he works his way back down. He makes it there though, focused when he pushes the material over Elijah's shoulders and pulls it free from each arm, trembling as his fingers trail over one tattoo and then another. Then it's Elijah who reaches forward, fingertips almost painfully light as they dance over Alex's bare skin, chasing goosebumps an impossible task when more appear than he could ever touch, Alex finally taking the cue and brushing his hands over Elijah until he knows what his goosebumps feel like too.

It"s so different, somehow, from when they'd kicked everything aside in Alex's bed, all of that on a whim and everything so intentional about the way they're exploring now. They continue to kiss while they begin to map each other's bodies, learning about a dozen unspoken wishes while they swallow the sounds that get passed between them. Then Elijah's fingers trace the skin just above the waistband of Alex's jeans, and he catches Alex's moan before he smiles against his mouth.

Alex pulls just far enough away to pout. "You can't laugh at me. You already know what I sound like when you touch me like that."

"Oh, I am definitely not laughing at you, sweetheart. And I don't care what we've done before, that noise you just made might be the best thing I've ever heard," Elijah says, unfastening Alex's belt before he works his way past the button, then the zipper, his knuckles dragging against the length of Alex's cock on the way down, another damn moan impossible to hide. "Should I keep going, or do you want to catch up?"

Words get caught in his throat, but Alex knocks Elijah's hand away and returns the favor, clumsy and unpracticed, and going one step further when he pushes the pants all the way down, leaving Elijah in nothing but his boxers, something he's already seen in his own bedroom, but even more stunning when he's been given more explicit permission to look tonight. And they're still standing so close, helping themselves to as many kisses as they can while they undress, everything almost unbearably slow around them by the time Alex's jeans join Elijah's on the floor.

"You're so—" Alex trails off because he doesn't know what he was going to say anyway, but when he wraps his arms around Elijah and meets his open mouth for something tender and intimate, Elijah seems to know.

"So are you," Elijah tells him. "And I want you to remember we can always stop. It doesn't matter what we did or didn't do the other night, okay? We'll keep going slow and I'll keep being patient, but if it's ever—it won't change how much we both want this if you ever need to stop."

"You too?"

Elijah's hand slides over the side of Alex's face and into his hair, holding him still while he smiles. "Yeah, me too. I can always stop this, too."

He walks them over to the bed then, pulling the covers back and encouraging Alex to lie down before he crawls over him, Elijah's weight pushing him so perfectly into the mattress, their bodies quick to shift against each other, and the cotton of their boxers a wonderful, terrible tease. Without thinking, Alex's arms wrap around Elijah's body, one of his legs curling over the back of Elijah's too, wanting him impossibly closer while Elijah sucks at his neck and makes Alex squirm, everything inside him ready to claw its way out.

"M"not gonna stop. I never knew it could be like this—didn't know I could have this," Alex confesses. "Please, I—please show me everything. I want to feel everything."

Elijah kisses Alex deeply, grinding against him just enough to relieve and ramp up the tension between them at the same time, and when he eases away again, his blue eyes are dark and honest and curious.

"Have you thought about this?"

Alex frowns just the slightest bit. "You're worried I'm not sure what I want?"

"No, sorry, that"s not what I meant. I'm pretty sure you're sure." Elijah huffs out a little laugh and rolls his hips. "It"s just—have you actually imagined how this will go? Because there are options here, and if you've thought about this, can you tell me what you—I mean, I like it all and I—anything. It can be anything."

It's overwhelming, a conversation like this, not because Alex isn't willing to have it, but because the mere mention of options has his mind spiraling. Alex has absolutely thought about it, and he's absolutely imagined at least a couple of ways this could unfold, and it might be impossible to answer Elijah's questions when he's imagining a few more, his cock aching with each drag of Elijah's body against him.

"So much," he mumbles, though he isn't sure what it's in response to. What has he thought about? What does he want now? How much is Elijah already making him feel?

Elijah smiles against Alex's mouth. "How about this—is there anything you know you don't want to try?"

"No."

"Okay. I can work with that."

And then he does.

Elijah starts with another kiss, long and almost lazy, belying the heat between them and the buzz beneath Alex's skin. When he's ready to move on, he only makes it to the line of Alex's jaw, nuzzling there as he sucks the skin just below it, then just below that, and just below that. He wriggles free from Alex's hold and kisses his way to one nipple, and eventually the other, the pressure from his lips and teeth and tongue perfect enough to have Alex whimpering and clutching at Elijah's shoulders.

"I—fuck."

"Didn't know that either?" Elijah asks.

Alex doesn't bother to respond, the arch of his back probably doing that for him, and after Elijah has played around long enough, he lets his hands lead him further down Alex's body. He's quietly captivated by Alex's ribcage and his belly button and then the line of dark hair that disappears beneath the waistband of Alex's boxer briefs, but when he could pull those away, he doesn't, skipping over the material entirely and kissing the inside of Alex's thigh when he finds bare skin again.

"Seriously?" Alex growls, everything about it weakened by the weightlessness behind it.

Elijah doesn't respond with anything Alex can hear, his mouth too busy against Alex's legs—down one and up the other—until he's satisfied and hovering just above where Alex wants him. Then he drags his tongue over Alex's still-covered cock, from base to tip, his smile wicked when he uses his hands to help keep Alex's hips pinned to the mattress.

"You okay?" Elijah asks.

"M'never gonna last. Want this so much."

"So do I. And I'm gonna go slow for both of us, okay?"

Alex moves beneath him, some sort of argument and agreement all in one, and it's easy enough for Elijah to catch the waistband he's been teasing and drag Alex's boxer briefs away, kissing Alex's hip before he goes far. Elijah smoothly removes his own boxers too, and then he's on top of Alex again, both gentle and not when he has them wrapped up in each other, Alex surrendering to the sensation of his naked body pressed to Elijah's, a hundred points of contact leaving him unable to decide which one might be his favorite.

Elijah kisses him, maybe only to check in before whatever happens next, and Alex misses the weight of him when he's gone, Elijah stretching across the bed to reach for his nightstand. Alex is curious, though not enough to turn his lust-heavy head, trusting that Elijah will have anything they need.

He thinks it's been true so far.

There's no other check-in kiss now, Elijah stopping to bite Alex's side and hold him still against the bed and lick a stripe along the inside of his thigh, and then he nudges Alex's legs further apart and settles there. His gaze flickers upward as he slides a hand over Alex's shin and silently encourages him to bend his knee, Alex breathing past the inherent vulnerability of baring even more of himself, Elijah nodding and kissing right next to where his fingers still rest before he finally lets him go. The click of a plastic bottle cap comes next, then Elijah wraps his hand around Alex's cock and whispers reassurances Alex can barely hear, stroking him slowly while he begins to rub the lube in small circles over his hole, the pressure nothing until Elijah takes him in his mouth and slides a single fingertip forward. Alex is overwhelmed, probably obviously so, but Elijah is practiced and confident and is already playing his body perfectly. Elijah's wicked tongue won't be enough to get him off when it's this goddamn gentle, and Alex isn't na?ve enough to think it's Elijah's goal, so he lets himself relax into the distraction being offered while Elijah works him open.

Seconds or minutes or hours pass, and one finger becomes two after Alex has stopped telling time, Elijah's mouth still a tender devastation when Alex registers that his hips have gone in search of more. The moment Elijah eases away from him, Alex whimpers at the loss, and Elijah raises his head and stares up at Alex with a smile that knows too much, using more lube to stroke himself before he tucks his other arm under Alex's body and helps give them both a better angle as he guides himself deep, Alex arching away from and into it all at once.

"You still with me?" Elijah asks, holding himself still, his lower lip suffering for his attempt at control.

"It's a lot," Alex says, his hand landing somewhere at Elijah's side.

"It is, yeah," Elijah agrees. "Do you want me to stop?"

"No, it's—god, please don't. It's just a lot."

Elijah's careful when he leans over Alex until he can kiss him again, one arm still around Alex's waist as he begins to rock into him. Their tongues drag against each other almost lazily, but it's the perfect counter for the way Elijah becomes more deliberate, Alex's entire body steadily giving itself over to him and each stroke filling him up when he's ready for more. It's still so close to being too much, but Alex wraps his arms around Elijah's back and grabs almost mercilessly at the idea of more.

There's a responding growl from Elijah and he stops kissing Alex long enough to swallow it whole. "You feel so good like this."

He breaks away from Alex's embrace then, rising until he can press his palm to the back of one of Alex's thighs, giving himself more room and a better view. Elijah nearly slips all the way free of Alex's body before rocking forward again and again, his eyes a beautiful and almost frightening dark blue, and his chest rising and falling in a rhythm that might've held Alex's attention any other time. For now, there's nothing to do but clutch at the sheets around him and arch his back again when Elijah finds something inside him that brings him dangerously close to a sob.

"Oh my god—oh—" Alex cries out. "Oh—fuck."

"Trying to, sweetheart."

Alex thinks he's doing just fine, but he still wants Elijah's body closer, needing to be grounded by it for reasons he doesn't fully understand, and he reaches for him as well as he can while he tries not to go wholly dizzy with pleasure.

"Come back."

Elijah groans, his hips stuttering as he falls forward to do as Alex has asked, holding himself up by one forearm, his hand cradling the side of Alex's face. "Didn't really go anywhere."

And maybe he didn't, but everything is so much better now anyway, Elijah still able to take everything Alex thinks he could possibly offer and then give it all back over and over again. It gets harder to speak, the two of them sweaty and breathless, Alex clawing at Elijah's back again as they rock together, increasingly sloppy and loud and needy. And when Elijah leans down for a messy kiss, their mouths open against each other as much as they manage anything else, his stomach rubs against Alex's cock just enough to drive him crazy, Alex reaching down to stroke himself as soon as Elijah moves far enough away, suddenly bold and eager to get himself off while he encourages Elijah to do the same.

"It"s good," he pants. "You can let go. We can both let go."

Elijah's cry is one of pure relief, and Alex imagines his must sound the same, the two of them coming so soon after one another that it's almost impossible to know where one moan ends and another begins. After a few seconds, another wave hits one of them, and then they're both boneless and shaking and Elijah does his best to roll to Alex's side, still landing half on top of him as if Alex would ever mind at all.

"I—god, Alex, I—"

"I know," Alex says, a laugh bubbling inside him and breaking into something utterly wrecked on its way out. There's just so much happening and he's feeling it all at once, Elijah immediately rising with concern, though Alex tugs him right back down and refuses to let him go. "No, no, I'm okay, I just—I didn't know. And I kinda can't believe I was lucky enough to have you be the one to show me."

Elijah kisses him, a simple and perfect thing, before he rolls away to get them both cleaned up, Alex far too enamored by the sight of Elijah's lazy post-sex stumble to be frustrated by his absence for long. Still, he's grateful a few minutes later, when they're a little more recovered and a little less messy, and Elijah crawls back into bed with him, the covers pulled around them until they're comfortably cocooned there. They kiss again, Alex's tongue sweeping into Elijah's mouth just one more time, and then Elijah's fingers dance over the hair on Alex's chest until he can press his palm against a heartbeat that has slowed to something subtle.

"Don't think it was luck that got us here," Elijah muses. "Just think you needed to be ready—you needed to want to know."

"But now what?" Alex asks. "Now that I know what I want, and it can't be that easy, can it? To just—have it forever?"

"They had it, though," Elijah says, and Alex doesn"t have to ask who they are when his heart has been beautifully crowded by them for weeks now. "All those years together, with so many things they didn"t get to have—they still had this. And it might"ve been the only thing that was ever easy. The nights when it didn"t matter whether the rest of the world knew anything about them. Nights when they got to hold each other and love each other and commit a hundred acts of wonderful, private defiance. Way back then, they still had this, and all of it happened when they were ready to want it."

"So maybe that's where the luck comes in. Maybe if I"m lucky, the person who waited for me to be ready will want that same kind of forever."

Elijah nuzzles into Alex"s neck, his breath warm where Alex"s skin is just beginning to cool. "Mmmm, maybe so."