Chapter Six

In Which We Pause for the Obligatory Choracle Reading

I don’t call ahead of time or really even give Darla any kind of warning before showing up at her trailer the next day. I can’t be around an incredibly flirty Marcus if I can’t control my emotions. Something has to be done now.

I’ve never been to Darla’s trailer, but the directions Shania gives me are pretty straight-forward, and even if they weren’t, plants and cats are everywhere. I can totally see why Darla’s witchiness was obvious to everyone else. Tails and vines snake this way and that in every single possible nook and cranny of the front yard.

It’s in the backyard that I find Darla when no one answers the door. She’s sitting at a picnic table, reading aloud from a book titled Cappily Ever After with a confusing cover that has both a shirtless man and a capybara on it. A piglet runs in circles while the two older pigs sit at her feet, watching her. Strangely enough, they actually look like they’re paying attention.

“Darla?” I call out, hoping not to startle her. She holds a finger up and continues reading until she gets to the bottom of the page. She turns to the page and places a bookmark in the book. The darker pig grunts and she shakes her head.

“I’ll read some more later, Chad. Sarah needs help.”

“Sorry to interrupt,” I say as I move slowly around the pigs and come to the other side of the table, directly across from Darla. She looks up at me with a smile. “No worries. How’s your ass?”

I huff a laugh. “Better. What do I owe you for the bath salts?”

She shakes her head. “Nothing. That’s not how magic works, at least among witches. We can charge others outside the art, but charging another witch would be wrong.”

I stand there, not sure what to say. The large pink pig grunts a few times and Darla turns back to her for a moment, before turning her gaze back on me.

“I think Porshetta wants you to sit. You’re making her nervous.”

“Well, far be it from me to upset your friends,” I say and throw my leg over the bench seat.

“There was more, wasn’t there?”

“More?” I repeat.

“Yeah. You didn’t drive all the way over here just to give me a few bucks for some bath salts.”

I sigh. “Since Wednesday, I suddenly have a lot going on. This whole fire witch thing. I can’t control it. And someone from my past has shown up and–”

“It’s making it even harder to control?”

I nod.

“You still have the bracelet? she asks.

I hold up my arm. “It helps, but we were hanging out and every time he gets a little flirty…”

“Little fires everywhere?” she finishes for me.

I nod.

She pulls out a tiny white box of cards and begins shuffling. “Unfortunately, learning to control your powers is going to take a while. Even with extra tutoring on the side, you’re probably looking at least a month or two, maybe more.”

My heart sinks. I can’t hide from Marcus that long.

“I can’t–”

Darla puts up a hand. “There are some other options. We could seek out your familiar.”

“So, do I just stop by your clinic tomorrow and see who’s up for adoption?”

She shakes her head. “Now that you know you’re a witch, adopting a homeless pet would be great. A witch’s power is strengthened by what she does for others and for the universe in general, but unfortunately, it’s not that simple. Witches don’t pick their familiars; familiars pick us. We’ll have to cast a spell and see who comes to you. Once your familiar comes to you, the fires should calm down.”

I look around the yard, my eyes falling on the pigs. “But what if it’s something I don’t have the means to take care of?”

Darla dismisses my worries with a wave. “The universe will always provide a way. Before we do this spell to call your familiar, I want to read your cards.”

“Sure.” I’ve never had my fortune read, so I sit and watch as she shuffles the deck and then lays the cards out in the shape of a P. I feel completely lost, but decide that silence is best. If Darla feels this is an important part of the process, who am I to judge?

Darla lets out a long breath as she looks over the cards. “This man from your past… is there something awkward or embarrassing about him?”

I nearly snort. “Not about him. About me. I had a huge crush on him when I was a teenager, but he is much older. He is a friend of Lugh and they were in the Army. One day, my parents hosted a barbeque for all of Lugh’s Army friends and my little brother decided to do a dramatic reading from my diary for them.”

“You wrote about him in this diary?” she says, looking up from the cards.

“On every single page.”

She taps her fingers alongside the cards for a moment. “Hmmm…that does make more sense then. See here. The cards want you to consider Revelations and to look for Opportunities.”

I shake my head. “I’m sorry. I don’t understand the connection.”

“Things between you two are going in a new direction. He is seeing you in a new light. There is opportunity, but only if you’re willing to open yourself to new experiences.”

I lean over and look at the cards. I can see a card labeled Revelation and Opportunity, but I don’t understand how she got all that from this P shape.

“Okay, I’ll try.” Though if I’m honest, I’m all ‘new experienced’ out. Between this fire witch thing and working with the donkeys, I could use some boring old activities.

“Don’t,” Darla says suddenly.

“Don’t what?”

She meets my eyes. “Don’t think just because things are changing around you that letting it happen is enough. You must push through and face it full on.”

“You swear you’re not going to tell me I have a secret destiny?” I ask.

She chuckles. “No more so than any of us.” She stacks the cards up and puts them back in the box. “Alright, let’s try to get you a familiar.” She looks around until she finds Porshetta sitting a few feet away. “Porshetta, can you bring me an apple?”

“Is Porshetta your familiar?”

Darla shakes her head. “Porshetta is her own pig. She graces me with her presence and I’m grateful for it.”

Porshetta lumbers up to all fours, then waddles away only to reappear with an apple in her mouth. Darla takes it from her, wipes it off on her skirt and then takes a pen and writes on the apple.

“What are you writing?” I ask, curious what a spell to find a familiar would look like.

She just shakes her head. “Just our intentions. Asking the universe to bring you your familiar.” She wraps up the apple in a paper towel, puts it in a plastic shopping bag and ties it off. “Don’t open this until you get home. Put it outside on your window sill and you should see something soon.”

“Only if the deer don’t steal it first.”

She smiles. “They won’t. Unless your familiar is a deer.”

“What do I do then?”

“Put corn out for it?”