Chapter Twenty-Three

In Which There is an Abundance of Babies

I t’s close to noon, but a nap is definitely in order for us. Back at the fire station, we curl up as soon as we can get our shoes off and Marcus’s prosthetic is safely on the side of the bed. He wraps his arms around me, pulls me close, and we curl into a comfortable burrito of blankets as all the sleep I’ve been missing pulls me under.

The sun is setting when I wake hours later to find Marcus rolling to sit up.

“What’s going on?” I ask as my eyes adjust to the weak early evening sunlight.

“The alarm,” is all he says.

“The alarm?” I repeat, only to hear it as it echoes from some ancient speaker out in the main room. “What is it?”

He sighs. “It sounds like the baby box alarm again.” His voice is groggy. He runs a hand over his face and sighs.

That wakes me up immediately. I sit up and put a hand on his arm. “Stay here. I’ll go check for you. No point in getting up if it’s just a squirrel or a mouse in the wall.”

I hop up quickly so he won’t beat me to it and pad out into the main room, closing the bedroom door behind me against the sound that is echoing from the loudspeaker overhead. Freddie is tangled up in his favorite blanket on the couch.

“Freddie K., what’s in the baby box?” I ask, hoping he can give me an idea of what is awaiting me. He grunts and rolls over, but sure enough, I get a picture of a baby-sized shark swaddled in a blanket.

“Freddie K., if you don’t want to wake up, you could just ignore me, you know,” I say, slightly annoyed.

“We seriously need to get that alarm disconnected,” I say aloud to no one as I make my way down the stairs.

The box is locked.

I’ve checked it a dozen times since this whole incident and I’m sure of it. But I can already feel something weird seeping out from the box as I step off the last step and walk toward the indention in the wall.

A faint glow emanates from the edges, as if it is lit from within. I touch the handle and find myself pulling back. It’s hot to the touch… about as hot as the trows were on Halloween.

I hurry back up the stairs. “What is it?” Marcus asks from the bed.

“Fucking magic. Give me a second.” I pick up Freddie K., who grumbles, but otherwise behaves.

“Do I need to come down?”

I sigh. “Yeah, probably.”

Marcus groans as he sits up and begins to roll the protective sleeve over his leg. I leave him to it and head down the stairs again, holding the tiny dog in my arms.

I hold Freddie K. close as I try to clear my mind the way Esmer’s been trying to teach me. My mind runs in circles until Freddie K. shows me a picture of himself sleeping, his tiny chest rising and falling.

Is he telling me to breathe?

I decide to give it a try.

I breathe, trying to force all the other thoughts out of my head. I suck at meditation and will certainly die if I have to actually ever fight true magic because it will take me twenty minutes just to get these protections going. It’s like playing an online video game where everyone else is fifty levels ahead. I’m the real life kid sidekick making everything slow and hard.

I can feel Marcus behind me as he moves down the stairs. Marcus’s step thump, step thump has become so common during my days, I don’t even notice it anymore. Yet it still stirs something inside me, an excited energy, butterflies, like catching a glimpse of your crush smiling at you from across the room.

Of course, I’d be working on meditation and my thoughts would move toward sex. He comes to stand beside me and pulls me close. His arms are my favorite place to be these days. Muscular and comforting, it’s a safe place to just exist without having to try, without having to work hard at not messing up.

I find myself breathing easier as he holds me and I feel like I can finally take on whatever’s waiting in the box.

“I’m ready,” I tell Marcus, and he nods. He releases me but doesn’t move away. Instead, he steps forward with me. I put my hand to the handle of the box–it’s still warm but not unbearably so. Slowly, carefully, I pull on the door, prepared for anything from another baby to a rabid squirrel.

What I’m not prepared for is the tiny hideous creature laying swaddled in a blanket.

“Oh, God.” I say before I can stop the words. I slap my hand over my mouth, but the words are already out there in the universe.

Marcus just chuckles. “Is this what they mean when they say ‘a face only a mother can love’?”

“I think so.”

I was there for baby Jack’s birth, so I know and have seen with my own eyes that all newborns don’t start out so adorable. It’s hard to be cute when you’ve been squished in a small canal for hours. It’s not the baby’s or the parents’ fault, but this goes so far beyond that.

The creature laying in the baby box isn’t a shark. In fact, if I had to compare it to something, I’d say it looks a lot like a potato… a potato with a face. Its forehead and nose and mouth are all scrunched up, stacked one atop the other. Its skin has a strange yellowish tinge and its cries are soft and almost kitten-like.

“We are not keeping this until we can get another date in front of the arbitrator.” I announce.

Marcus laughs and reaches out for the “baby.” “It’s not that bad, see–” It hisses at him and reaches to snap at him with razor-sharp teeth.

“Oh, now I get it, Freddie K.”

“Get what?” Marcus asks as he steps back and shakes his head in agreement. “On second thought…no, no, we are not volunteering to take this one in.”

“I asked Freddie K. what was in the wall and he sent me a picture of a swaddled shark.”

Marcus snorts. “He wasn’t too far off.”

I sigh. “No, he wasn’t.”

Deputy Moreau apparently works 24/7 or perhaps they send her out on all the weird cases, because she’s the first officer at our door when we call the non-emergency number.

“The fire department said they’d sealed it shut,” she says as she steps inside.

“It is,” I tell her with a sigh. Marcus and I are still standing near the opening. Horrible as the creature is, it feels wrong to just leave it in the box, but neither one of us is willing to get bit to bring it out.

“This is magic. The, uh, child reeks of it.”

She looks at us strangely. “Why is it still in the box?” she asks, reaching for the baby before we can stop her. It snaps at her, it’s tiny teeth grazing her hand.

“Shit. It bites?” she asks as she snatches her hand away.

“I have a first aid kit,” Marcus says as he wanders off toward the bays. Deputy Moreau shakes her bleeding hand as she gets on the radio and asks dispatch to get in touch with CPS.

“Is CPS equipped to handle this?” I ask her.

She shrugs. “I don’t know. I’ve never seen anything like this, but I swear, ever since those fae moved in behind the Wild Hare, shit keeps getting weirder and weirder.”

“Maybe we should ask them. They might know what kind of creature this is.”

She nods. “That would be a great idea if we knew how to get in contact. They can step into our world far easier than we can to theirs…and frankly, with what I’ve heard about what goes on, I’m not sure I even would want to go there. We got called down to the Wild Hare Halloween night by a woman wanting to press charges for being drugged and almost carried off to be some fae’s wife. How can I arrest something that can just disappear?”

Marcus returns with a small first aid kit and a thick blanket I could swear I’ve seen him give Willow before. “It may be ugly as hell, but I feel bad leaving it in the box. I’m going to try to get it out without losing a hand, too.”

I snort, but step away. Marcus is too brave for me. He doubles up the thick blanket and then throws it on top of the child in a move that would have whoever certified him as a foster parent losing their mind. He wraps it up like an angry feral cat and pulls it from the box as it writhes from inside the blanket. Marcus cradles the bundle in his arms and turns to close the box when the alarm sounds again.

He looks at me and then at Deputy Moreau. “I’m not the only one hearing that, right?”

I shake my head. Slowly, he opens the door. He stands for a long moment, staring, so I step under his arm to get a closer look. There in the box, where the potato baby had just been, is potato baby number two. Unlike number one, it’s pissed. I’ve never seen a tiny creature this angry. It has freed itself from its swaddle and kicks tiny fists and feet in the air, screaming at a pitch that is more freaky creature from the woods than human. Marcus hands potato baby number one to Deputy Moreau and takes his overshirt off, throwing it over the screaming creature, before pulling it out as well.

“Maybe it’s hungry or needs a change.” I tell him. Much of our baby supplies from our weekend with Jada are still upstairs. “Let me go make it a bot–” I start to say, only to be interrupted by a third sounding of the alarm.

“I don’t even want to look,” Marcus sighs. Deputy Moreau steps up to the box and looks inside. She wrinkles her nose as she turns away. “This one has claws.”

“Not it,” Marcus says, and I laugh.

“Someone thinks you’re Rumplestiltskin.” I tell him.

He shakes his head. “Never helping a girl spin straw into gold again,” he says as Deputy Moreau rolls her eyes.

“I have a feeling if we take that baby out of the box, another will appear,” Deputy Moreau says.

“Same.” I say. “I also have a feeling about who can help us, but I’m not exactly eager to be in their presence anytime soon.”

“Who?” the deputy asks me.

“Zander Lamar. His mate is one of the fae that lives behind the Wild Hare. She’s in our world right now. She was at the courthouse for the arbitration earlier today.”

“Leave that to me,” Deputy Moreau says. “Give me twenty minutes and I’ll be back.” She hands me the potato baby she’s holding and shuts the baby box with a loud thunk. “The box still has its environmental control. The, uh, baby will be fine until I get back.”

The Deputy hurries out the door, leaving Marcus and I to try to get the babies to stop crying. Feeding doesn’t work. Potato Baby Two rips the nipple off the bottle and spits it out, crying angrily as the formula spills on him or her. Neither one of us gets brave enough to attempt a diaper change. We’re standing around the baby box still, holding crying babies, when Deputy Moreau reappears in her cruiser, followed by Randy’s and Zach’s trucks.

As several people hop out of the truck, I decide she must have driven straight to Zelda’s house and dragged out every pack member she could find. Zander and Zach crowd into the foyer of the fire station, along with Zander’s very pregnant fae mate, Nolig, Red, and Randy Lamar. Zane and Alyssa, who’s got baby Jada in her arms, take up the rear with Zelda.

Nolig’s eyes scan the room, taking in Marcus and I gingerly holding the potato babies, before glancing at the baby box. She shakes her head and says a word I can’t make out. Instantly the babies we’re holding stop crying, though potato baby two is still snapping its tiny sharp teeth.

“Can one of you tell me who these three babies belong to?” Deputy Moreau asks.

“Three?” Zach asks.

Deputy Moreau opens the baby safe box. Potato baby three starts screeching immediately. She shuts the door on it and turns back to the men.

“They’re clurichaun children,” Nolig answers helpfully from beside the taller men.

“The fuck?” Zach says.

Zander suddenly looks a little pale.

“Will your child look like this?” Randy asks her.

She nods. “Yes, if I send her to the world before she has her own magic. She can’t glamor mortals until she’s a few months old.”

“Glamor?” Zander says.

I try not to smile. There’s always some trick with the fae.

“It’s not going to eat its way out of you?” Zach asks, horror written all over his face.

I feel the tension rise in the small room and meet Marcus’s eyes. He reaches for me and pulls me close, turning his body so that he is between me and the Lamars.

“Fuck you, asshole,” Zander swears at his older brother shoving him away from Nolig. Zach moves to get in his space.

“Zach, watch your fucking mouth,” Randy practically growls, stepping between the two men. “Your words have consequences, dumbass.”

Nolig just smiles at her brother-in-law. “Mortals are always after the most beautiful creature they can attract, and disappointed when beauty fades with time. Constantly chasing beauty is a race time will always guarantee you lose, brother. True beauty is in actions. That’s where true love lies.” She takes the angry potato baby from the safe baby box and kisses it on the forehead. Its features seem to melt and smoothen in her arms until it reforms into a very human-looking baby. All at once it goes from hideous creature to the most beautiful child that’s graced this planet. Its angry cries become the sweetest of coos as it looks adoringly up at Nolig.

”People,” Deputy Moreau interrupts, clearing her throat. “We have an important matter in front of us. Abandoned children once again, with a connection to your pack.”

“I don’t think they’re abandoned,” Nolig says. “We should go outside, it’s a little too crowded here for what I need to do.”

Instead of stepping out the front door, she walks out toward the bays. All we can do is follow and end up dodging the crap in the animal pens we haven’t had a chance to clean.

It doesn’t seem to phase Nolig. As soon as we’re all outside, Willow trots over and immediately starts trying to sniff at the potato baby in my arms. Ramona appears out of nowhere and goes right to Alyssa, leaning against her and nosing the baby until Alyssa hands it over to Zane. She wraps her arms around the horse’s neck and whispers in its ear.

Movement from the corner of my eye brings me back to the problem at hand. Nolig steps away from the group and says a word over the child she’s holding, running a finger across its brow and making an X over its heart. She moves to do the same to the baby I’m holding, then again to the baby in Marcus’s arms.

The air heats up and slowly the pressure increases until my ears feel like I’m dealing with the worst part of a plane ride. They clog up and finally pop softly as three beautiful fae women appear.

“Are the babes okay?” asks a dark-haired woman. She searches the small crowd, calmly, as if popping into places was completely normal. She spots her baby in Marcus’s arms and rushes to it, taking it and holding it way closer than I would.

“The babes are fine,” Nolig says sharply. “But why are they here?”

A second woman looks at her curiously as she moves to take the baby I’m holding out of my arms. “The mortals have a baby safe box and those who will care for them when we cannot.”

Nolig sighs. “No, they do not.”

“They do,” insists the first woman. “Sirshe told us a man came to the Wild Hare with a baby that had appeared in the baby safe box. He then cared for it for weeks until the family returned for it.”

Nolig sighs. “That is not at all what happened, and even if it was, why are you leaving your children with a stranger?”

The second woman shakes her head. “He cared for the first of the pack. He’s obviously good with children.”

Nolig looks utterly bewildered. “That box isn’t a place for your babe while you sow your oats. It’s a place mothers can safely abandon their children.”

“Why would anyone ever do that?”

Nolig flinches, then lets out a long and slow breath as if she’s trying to calm herself. “Take your children and return home. No one may pawn their children off on the mortals without proper arrangements. This box isn’t for our kind.”

The women look taken aback, but say nothing to Nolig as they disappear obediently as one with the slightly terrifying potato babies.

She turns to Marcus and me. “My apologies. This won’t happen again. We already owe you a debt for caring for the youngest of the pack. But I will dare to ask for a trade, if you can bear it.

“That horse of yours is very clearly my new sister’s familiar. Would you allow me to bargain for it on her behalf?” Nolig nods over to Alyssa and Zane. They’re kicking a ball between themselves and Ramona, laughing and giggling like kids even as Zane holds the baby they created against his chest.

“They’re so young to have a child. They have a lot of work ahead of them,” Nolig says from behind us. “But the horse, it came to her when she was in labor and stayed by her side. It even tried to warn the wolves, but they’re a little daft when it comes to magic.”

“Don’t I know that,” I mutter and Nolig smiles.

I meet Marcus’s eyes, and he nods. “I won’t ask for any payment. I don’t think I could keep Ramona away, even if I tried. She is incredibly stubborn.”

Nolig nods. “No, you could not. But let me at least provide for your donkey friends.” She pulls out a coin from her skirt pocket and hands it to Marcus. “As long as you keep this in your possession, you’ll never want for hay.”

“Thank you,” Marcus says, carefully taking the coin from her hand.

Everyone moves to file out of the donkey’s pen and back through the bay and to the front. Back inside, Nolig stops at the baby box. She shuts the small door firmly, then runs a finger over the outer edges. The outline of the box disappears, blending into the wall until it’s impossible to tell that the box was ever there.

Zander lingers at her side, silent, with his eyes on the floor, until she finishes. Finally, his eyes meet mine and I stare back. He sucks in a big breath. “Hey, I know this is too little, too late, but I’m so sorry for everything. You really had our back so many times over the past few weeks. Hormones or not, you didn’t deserve any of the bullshit I put you through. I'm sorry it went down the way it did. Please know there will always be a place for you at the Wild Hare.”

I nod. “Thank you, but I’m not coming back.”

Nolig smiles. “Nor should you. You’ve got a lot ahead of you. Don’t let the universe hit you over the head with it so hard next time. Be more open to change. The Wild Hare was just a job. You’ve got lots of exciting things up ahead.”

“I hope so.”

We thank Deputy Moreau for her help, and at last the Lamar pack is gone. “If I never see another Lamar, it will be too soon,” I tell Marcus as he shuts the door behind them.

He laughs. “We live a little too close for it to be never.”

He takes my hand and kisses my knuckles. “This whole thing with Jada has really got me thinking…” he says as we walk up the stairs together.

“About what?”

“About us and the future.”

“What about the future?”

“I’m really starting to think that I’d like us to be a thing permanently.” He stops me at the top of the stairs and turns to face me. His eyes meet mine as he leans close.

I suck in a breath at the look in his eyes. “Permanently?”

“But I have a confession first that might change how you feel about it.”

My stomach drops. “Okay,” I say, swallowing hard. “Hit me with it.”

“After these past few weeks,” he says, looking down at my hands, “I’ve realized that I could really live the rest of my life without changing another diaper. I really don’t think kids are for me.”

I stare at him for a long minute then start to laugh. “Oh, thank god. I haven’t ever wanted to be more than an auntie, but those clurichaun babies put me over the edge. I think I lost every single maternal instinct I might have had in just those few minutes.”

“How many times do you think the baby will bite Zander after it’s born?”

“Hopefully a million,” I say before I catch myself. I slap my hand over my mouth, guiltily.

“What?” Marcus asks.

“A witch really shouldn’t wish ill on others and not expect it to come back.”

He laughs. “I think the universe will forgive you this time.”

We fall into silence as our eyes meet. He clears his throat and brushes the hair from my face. “So, uh, back to the whole permanent thing…you think you’re up for it?”

My heart begins to pound in my chest.

“Is this your way of proposing?”

“Well, I can’t exactly get down on one knee, but I have this.” He pulls a box from his pocket and opens it up. Inside is an honest-to-god engagement ring. How he’s arranged that without me knowing, I have no clue. I take it from the box and stare at it, unbelieving for a moment. Fifteen-year-old me would be dying right now. The ring is breathtaking.

“You’re not afraid? I mean, I’m officially unemployed and it’s so soon. What if you get tired of all the fires?” I ask, playing with the ring.

“And what if you get tired of all the donkeys?”

I snort. “Willow would never let me go.”

“Look, I know this is a new thing, but it’s not like we met a few weeks ago. I was going to wait for Christmas and make a nice dinner, but the jeweler told me it was ready and I thought I could save it. But it’s been burning a hole in my pocket.” His words come out in a rush.

“Burning a hole in your pocket, eh?” I repeat, eyebrows raised.

He laughs. “That was unintentional.”

I stare down at the ring for a long moment.

“So what do you say? You’re killing me here.”

“Say about what?” I ask, innocently. “I haven’t been asked a question.”

He shakes his head. “Woman.”

“Man.”

He sucks in a deep breath. “Sarah, I love you. Will you marry me?”

“I love you, too.” I pause and look down at the ring before slipping it on. “It’s what fifteen-year-old me would have wanted.”

“And twenty-seven-year-old you?”

I smile up at him. “She’ll give it a shot.” He practically growls as he pulls me to his chest and kisses me hard on the lips.

“I didn’t mess up your dream, did I?” he asks once he releases me.

“Dream?”

“You know, in your diary, about us.”

I snort. “I–” I start to reassure him he didn’t, only to realize I never even wrote about an engagement or a proposal. “I don’t even think I dreamed about this, I just went straight to sex and the wedding.”

He laughs. “Your priorities were good, even at fifteen.”

I roll my eyes as I stand on tiptoe to kiss my new fiance.

“Do you think you have time to see to some of those priorities now?” he asks, hopefully.

I laugh. “Now that everyone’s gone, I think I could definitely be in the mood to collect another data point.”

“Or two?” he says, tugging me to the bedroom.

“Or two.”