Chapter 15

“I have been such a mess the past few days. And you had to put up with me. You must love me madly.” She ventured a tentative smile as she looked at him. She was exhausted, but not like the bone-clutching weariness she had been experiencing since she received the news.

“I must.” He had stayed home with her for the second day and even gone with her to the therapist. Sitting on the edge of the bed, he brushed back the hairs on her forehead. She looked a lot better than she had two days ago and was eating soup and plain toast.

“Dr. Calder thinks I only need to return to her three more times, and I will be on my way to dealing.”

Putting his hand under her chin, he lifted it to examine her more closely. “Want to talk?”

She nodded. “Can you get in bed with me? I would like to feel your arms around me.”

Without a word, he removed his shoes and climbed beside her, pulling her into his arms. She snuggled against his chest and inhaled his scent. She had cried so much during the past week that she felt dry.

“I was attending Harvard when mom had her episode, wanting a better word.” She began quietly. “When Dad died, I offered to wait a year to help her with everything, but she insisted that she was okay and that Dad would not want me to do that. She said she wanted to be the proud mama of a Harvard law graduate, and she would celebrate for her and Dad.”

She took a deep breath and gazed across the room while he waited for her to continue. “She was so convincing that I believed her. I would call and check in every other day, and she would accuse me of being a worrywart.

When she had her first episode, I thought about quitting college again, and she told me it would make her even worse if I did that. I told myself that she was okay, that it was just something she was going through because she missed Dad so much.

I was grieving, but I had my courses to contend with, and I kept myself busy. I think she held out until I finished. I could not wait to tell her I was now a full-fledged lawyer. “She took a deep breath.

“I was on my way home when I got the news. The doctors told me this time it was worse than before, and they were not certain she would recover.”

“You never got to share the news.” He said quietly, his hand roaming up and down her back lazily.

“No. I came home and thought I could take care of her myself, but the doctors said it was going to be a strain and she was going to need professional help.

Some insurance money was left, and I figured that if I started working immediately, I could afford to pay for the help. But instead of getting better, she started getting worse.” She lapsed into silence, and he filled in the blanks.

“So, you had no choice but to put her into an institution.”

She nodded. “It broke my heart, but the bills piled up, and I had to work. Suffice it to say, I did not graduate, but that was not important.”

Shifting his head, he tilted her chin up. “You wanted her to be right there cheering for you at your graduation,” he said.

Her eyes glistened with tears, and her throat tightened. “Yes,” she whispered, not surprised to realize that he had gotten it—he had gotten her. “Without her there, it was not that important.”

“You went straight from accomplishing your goals at tremendous odds to going straight into the job market. The responsibilities you took on were tremendous,” he said gently. “I am so proud of you.”

The tears spilled down her cheeks. “I love you so much.” She whispered achingly.

“I love you more, darling.” He wiped away the tears. “I am here. I want you to know that you have a family and never have to be alone again.”

Pressing herself against him, she buried her face in his throat. Wrapping his hands around her waist, he cradled her.

“I think I can write the eulogy now.” She told him after a few minutes of profound silence.

“I know you can.”

She smiled and curled her lips. “Are we going to talk about the fact that we are going to be parents?”

“What’s there to talk about?” He asked mildly. “I already made an appointment with the best OB in town.”

“Of course you did.” Lifting her head, she gave him an adoring look. “You are a kick-ass husband.”

“I am that.” His hand cupped her cheek. “It so happens that I think a lot of my wife.”

“Thank you.” She whispered tearfully.

“You are welcome, my sweet.”

*****

Standing at the pulpit, Nikki looked at the sea of faces that had turned up for her mother’s funeral and felt her heart bursting inside her chest. The church was not small, and all the seats were filled with people standing outside, looking in.

Her husband, looking achingly handsome in his black tux, was seated in the front pew with his parents, brother, his wife, Julia, and her soon-to-be husband. He gave her an assuring look that steadied her.

“My husband is afraid I will break into tears and be unable to carry on.” She said with a smile as she looked around the room. “I assured him that I could do this and keep my promise.” Her smile faded as she glanced down at the paper before her. “Norma Rachel Johnston was a member of this church.

She taught Sunday school and was involved in the soup kitchen and the women’s department while being a mother who ensured I never neglected my homework. She was a very committed wife and worked as a librarian for thirty years.”

She paused and saw when Marcel started to rise. Shaking her head, she sent him a smile. “She and my dad were very much in love. I never understood it before, and growing up, I thought it was gross-” She waited for the laughter to die.

“And then, as a teenager, it used to annoy me to see them touching each other every few minutes.” Her eyes strayed to Marcel.

“I never understood that kind of devotion until recently.” Her smile was intimate and entirely for her husband. “Now I know.” She looked at her paper.

“My mother died the very day my dad died. She tried to keep it together for my benefit for as long as she could.” She glanced at the glossy mahogany box covered with flowers. “I know that now.” Taking a deep breath, she started to speak again when the dizziness assailed her.

This time, Marcel did not hesitate. Surging to his feet, he rushed up the steps and wrapped his hand around her waist.

“I can finish,” she whispered.

“I am not leaving.”

“I don’t expect you to.” Leaning against his solid frame, she finished and let him lead her to her seat.

*****

She leaned her head against his shoulder as he supported her. The box had been lowered into the ground, and the workmen had covered it with dirt. Several mourners had already left, and the rest were leaving to go to the manor where the repast was being held.

Holding her firmly around the waist, Marcel checked on her frequently. “Ready to leave?”

“In a minute. She wanted to be buried next to Dad.”

“Which is natural.” Marcel nodded to several business associates who came forward to express their condolences. “Tired?”

“Just a little drained. I think I am all cried out.”

“As long as you are not bottling everything inside.”

Turning her head, she gave him a wry glance. “As if you would allow that.”

“Precisely. It’s not good for the young one.” His hand drifted possessively to her flat stomach. “We have our baby to think about.”

She nodded, placing her hand over his. “I love you, darling.”

His heart went into a slow dive. “That’s convenient because I love you too.”

“It’s nice having you as a husband.”

“Is that right?” Tucking his hand under her chin, he kissed her slowly.

*****

He made the rounds with her, keeping a firm hand on her arm as they accepted condolences from the mourners. She had changed out of her black heels and was wearing flats at his insistence.

She had also removed the jaunty little hat with the veil and the chic black jacket that matched her pencil-thin skirt. Her only concession to color was her pale lilac blouse, which made her look delicate and somewhat vulnerable.

He had the insane need to shield her from all the hurt and pain of her past. He understood her now. She had spent her life living in a happy home, and the rug had been yanked out from under her.

She had lost both parents when her dad died and still managed to be one of the top students at Harvard Law while facing enormous obstacles.

He was so proud of her that his heart exploded inside his chest. He loved her so much that he found it difficult to breathe, and he wanted to marry her again. When he said the words this time, they would come from his heart.

She stopped suddenly, and he turned his head to look at her.

“What’s wrong?”

“Do you think I could go and lie down for a bit?”

“What is it?”

“My stomach is feeling queasy. I hate to leave-”

“Let me tell Mother. I will be right back.”

*****

“You are feeding me.”

“I am feeding you.” He lifted the spoon to her mouth. “Open.”

She did, swallowing the delicious liquid thick with vegetables. “How is your stomach?”

“Better. I can feed myself.”

“I love doing it.”

They both looked over at the discreet knock on the door before it was pushed open.

“I came to see how you are doing.” Wendy breezed into the room, a smile on her lips.“I am sorry to leave you to deal with the mourners.”

“Nonsense, darling.” She waved a dismissive hand as she stood by the edge of the bed. “Your father and I think you both should spend the night,” she added, looking at her son.

“I think it’s an excellent idea. My wife needs the rest.”

“He is being pushy and a pain in the ass.”

“I am taking care of you.” He told her mildly. “Mother, now that I have you here, I have a suggestion.”

“What is it?”

“I would like a private ceremony done tomorrow. Since we will be spending the night and here tomorrow, I would like to invite Daniel Hardman to come and officiate.”

“What are you talking about? What ceremony?” Nikki gave him a puzzled look.

Wendy stared at her son, her eyes widening, and a pleased smile split her face. “Oh, my goodness.”

“Would someone please tell me what’s going on?”

Putting the tray away, Marcel took her hands in his. “I want to marry you again,” he said.

“What?”

“The first time we married, I resented the hell out of you and paid lip service to the vows I made.” He swallowed the lump in his throat. “I am in love with you.” He shook his head. “I adore you, darling, and I want to say that or something to that effect to you in front of my family.”

She blinked at him. “You want to marry me again.”

“This time of my own free will.”

“I don’t mind-”

“I do. And you are not cheating me out of it. I want a wonderful ceremony to tell our children about when they ask us. I want photos of us staring at each other in adoration.”His hand drifted to her flat stomach. “And I want this little one involved in the most important day of our lives.”

“A dress-”

“I could have Monique send one over,” Wendy said swiftly, her eyes filled with tears.

“Will you marry me again?”

“A hundred times. A thousand.” Nikki whispered hoarsely. “Every day of the goddamned week, if you ask me.”

“I will leave you two alone while I get rid of the mourners,” Wendy said, clasping her hands to stop the tremors. “And then I will tell the rest of the family.”

“Darling?” Marcel asked as he stared at her bemused expression.

“When did you decide this?”

“It had been on my mind for a few days, but so much was happening. But sitting and watching you speak about your mother and realizing what you went through—he shook his head. “I never knew I could love you any more than I already do, but I was wrong.”

“Lock the doors.” She ordered huskily.

“Why?”

“For what I am about to do, I don’t want your family coming in here to disturb us. My husband just proposed, and I would like to celebrate the moment. Lock the doors, darling.”

Grinning at her, he went and did just that.

*****

Monique did not mind being called early the following day and assured Nikki that she would notify someone from the bridal department to call her. “Leonie will know exactly what you want, and congrats again, darling.”

Leonie was a gem. She video-called Nikki when Monique made contact and sent the dress, shoes, pillbox hat, and accessories over by special delivery. “It’s your second wedding, so you want to go for something frivolous yet classy. Where is it being held?”

“In the manor”s great hall, with just family members.”

“Perfect.”

Marcel had made love to her three times last night, and they had not fallen asleep until the early hours of the morning. He left her to sleep in while he went with his dad and brother to play tennis with some clients.

“I will instruct the kitchen to send you some tea and toast and throw in some fruits,” he told her as he was about to leave. “And I will try to stay away from you for the rest of the morning. Daniel has agreed to get here for noon.”

A maid had brought up a tray, and now she was being pampered. Wendy, Grace, and Julia had come in a few minutes ago, wearing robes, and had whisked her into Wendy’s suite, where her very resourceful mother-in-law had called a stylist to do their hair and makeup.

“I thought this was just a simple ceremony,” Nikki said in a daze.

“It does not mean that we cannot go all the way. First, a long soak in the bathtub. Then Barry is going to work on your face and hair.”

“My husband likes it loose.” She said quickly.

“Lose it will be,” Barry said with a grin. “Just think of me as one of the girls.” Brushing back his fluffy blonde wig, he fetched his large makeup case. “Now, ladies, let’s get to work.”

*****

The dress was made entirely of a rich champagne lace and had a Victorian neckline. The pillbox hat was perched on the left side of her head, and she wore rubies. Her husband had sent the entire setup as she was getting ready. Her thick dark brown hair had been touched up, and the blonde highlights brightened and flowed down her back.

Standing at the front of the room, with his brother next to him, Marcel watched the vision coming towards him and felt his heart bursting inside his chest. He had insisted on having this ceremony because he wanted a fresh start for them. And he would reveal his incredible love for her in front of his family.

“Let us begin,” Judge Hardman said with a smile as soon as she stood next to the groom. “The couple will be saying their vows. Marcel, please go ahead.”

Taking the bouquet of peonies and red and white rose from her, he handed it to Grace. “Nikki.” Taking her hands in his, he brought them to his lips and kissed her fingers. “Words fail me when it comes to describing my feelings for me.

Saying I love you is too pedestrian, I think. I don’t simply love you; it’s far more complicated than that. You are my life. The center of it all.”

Lifting their joined hands, he placed them against the unsteady beating of his heart, his golden eyes darkening. “I never knew anything like this existed, and if someone had told me that, I would have laughed in derision. I adore you, darling.

You are my heart and soul, and without you, I am dead. It’s that simple. I will love you until I draw my last breath and even beyond the grave. You will always know I love you even if I do not say the words.”

Lifting a hand to her cheek, he cupped her face, his fingers trembling. “My darling wife. I love you more than words can ever express.”

Nikki blinked back the tears. “My husband. I have loved you from the moment I set eyes on you. Even when infuriated with your arrogance and entitled behavior, I loved you. You are the man of my dreams. You are the heart of me, my soulmate, my companion, my best friend. I will love you always.

I want to bear children with you, and now that we have already started, I want to be the best wife and mother because I love you so much. Nothing means more to me than you, and I promise you will never have to question my devotion to you.

Thank you for being there for me. In my lowest hour of need, you left everything and took care of me.” A smile trembled on her lips. “You have shown me what a husband is supposed to be. My love, my life, my all.”

*****

“You bought me a Tesla?” Nikki ran a hand over the hood of the brand-new car with the giant red bow in the middle.

“Want to take it for a spin?” Coming up behind her, he wrapped his hands around her waist. The ceremony was over, and the luncheon was dispensed with.

“Where are we going?” Turning her head, she looked at him and felt her heart do the usual slow dive. Her husband was gorgeous. They had both changed out of their wedding clothes, and the words he had spoken to her during the ceremony were still resonating inside her brain.

“I want to be alone with you.” He kissed her lips slowly.

“Our place?”

He shook his head. “Your parents’ place.”

Turning around, she stared at him. “Why?”

“I want the healing to be complete. I want to share the good memories you had growing up. We will spend the night. Is that okay with you?”

She nodded, the tears flooding her eyes. “How the hell did I get so lucky?”

“I think I am the lucky one,” he told her gently. “Shall we, darling?”

*****

She gave him a tour of the place, staying a few minutes in her parents’ bedroom, which had remained the same because she never had the heart to clear things out.

Standing in the middle of the room with her husband behind her, lending support, she realized that for the first time since she had lost both of them, she could feel the peace stealing over her, and it was because of the man she was married to.

“Still want to sell it?” He asked her softly.

“No.” She shook her head. “You were right,” Lifting her hands, she wrapped her arms around his neck. “I want to leave it as a legacy for our children.”

“How many are you thinking?” He asked huskily.

“Four.”

“Four?” His thick brows lifted.

She nodded, an impish smile on her lips. “As soon as this little man pops out, we start making his brother or sister.”

“You think we are having a son?”

“I would like it to be a boy, don’t you?”

“As long as the baby is healthy, I am okay with whatever the sex is.”

“Yeah, right.” She snorted. “Ready to start our honeymoon?”

“I thought you would never ask.” Lifting her into his arms, he strode out of the room and went to find hers.