12. Jonah

12

JONAH

The minute I hear about Charles, I drop Eli at my sister’s and take off for the hospital. She hasn’t read any of my texts. I don’t know much about Charles, other than he helped the club out a little while ago when Riot was in trouble. I also know he’s not their father, but he raised them and he’s someone they both look up to.

Not caring how it looks, I storm through the hospital until I find the right ward and, just as I do, I see Lace and Manny hugging in the hallway outside the room. I stop in my tracks. Okay, he’s her roommate, and he’s the one who most likely drove her here, but still. Acid washes through my veins when he plants a kiss on her forehead, then he pecks her on the lips chastely. I squint.

Manny?

Is she for fuckin’ real? I mean, I know we had a conversation about it and she liked someone else. Someone who I said I’d think about sharing her with, but not Manny. No. I never agreed to that. Maybe I’m getting ahead of myself, but the way he smiles down at her tells me all I need to know. I try to rein in my temper. Not only seeing her wrapped around him, but seeing her hands on him. Wait a goddamn minute… Am I jealous over them both? And that I’m not in the fuckin’ middle of their embrace? I shudder at my own ridiculous thoughts, wishing I could shut my brain off.

But I can’t deny the obvious. Not only has Manny starred in most of my homosexual fantasies, but I’ve jerked off to his face and body more than once. Shame washes over me. This isn’t who I am, and I don’t know how to control this… this… fear? I used to think I wasn’t afraid of anything and that was very well nearly true until I lost Jill. That’s a different kind of pain. It’s grief and suffering that will never go away. Ever. I can’t be glued back together. I also can’t compare that to this, but I also know that she’d be horrified if she knew the deep, dark secrets inside me. That I long for so much more. Even when my mind denies it, my body reacts in ways that shock me. My dick hard, my jaw tight and my heart racing like a runaway freight train.

When I approach, they jerk apart like kids caught with their hands in the cookie jar.

“Lace?” I accuse. I can’t help the haughty tone to my voice. My eyes shift to Manny. He runs a hand through his perfect hair. Seriously, does his hair ever look like shit? He even has the nerve to look sheepish.

“Bandit?” she stammers. “W—what are you doing here?”

Right. I hadn’t really thought this through, and now it’s gonna look really fuckin’ obvious to Manny exactly what I’m doing here.

“I heard the news and I wanted to see how you were.” The words rush out, and I realize that Manny is assessing me dubiously. Fuck what he thinks. “How is Charles?”

“He’s, uh, he’s gonna be fine,” her voice is barely a whisper. “He fell, hit his head and broke some bones. Other than that, he seems in good spirits.”

Manny looks from me to her, one eyebrow piqued. It looks like he’s already put two and two together, but as I stretch for another excuse, Lace grabs me by the arm. “We need to get out of here before Riot comes out.” She points to the door behind her. “We can’t really explain why you’re here without Riot getting suspicious.”

That’s probably a good plan, but I still see red. Manny kissed her. He kissed my girl. While Lace might think she can skirt around the edges of the MC with no consequences, someone forgot to tell her that there are rules. If she thinks I’m just gonna bow out and let dickface Manny have his way with her, then she’s got another thing coming. She may not be my possession, hell, I don’t even think that way. I have a sister I adore, I don’t treat women like shit, but am I a protective son of a bitch when I want to be? Hell yeah I am, and I make no apologies for that.

A range of scenarios race through my mind all at once.

Have they slept together?

Has he touched her like I have?

Has he had his dick in her mouth?

Does she moan his name?

The faster we walk, the more mad I get, and while I know I have no right to — I haven’t claimed her, nor do I plan on doing that — it shouldn’t feel like a betrayal. Lace has been nothing but upfront and honest with me, but I didn’t agree to this. I agreed to thinking about sharing her, and if that happened, I’d be there, watching or fucking her, too. No… not, this.

As soon as we’re outside and around the corner, I point my finger at Manny. “How long has this been going on?”

Manny’s eyes go wide. “Wait? Are you… oh, man.” He turns to Lace. “ He’s the other guy?”

She looks panicked. “I was about to tell you,” she starts, staring at Manny. “Tonight when Riot rang.” She swings her head my way. “I was going to tell you…”

“Lace,” Manny mutters.

“When?” I shake my head, my voice lowers to an angry whisper. “ He’s the guy we talked about? Are you fuckin’ kiddin’ me right now?”

“You know, you don’t have to talk about me like I’m not here, bozo.” Manny folds his arms across his chest. “And for the record, she’s been through a horrible ordeal tonight, so don’t point at her or you’ll have me to deal with.”

I stare at him. He’s got some balls on him, I’ll give him that. He may be my height, but he hasn’t got the muscle I do. I could take him without blinking, but seeing he’s standing up for her makes me wanna back off just a little. Anyone who stands up for Lace has an ounce of my respect in my book, even if I still wanna throat punch the guy for touching her. Lace also doesn’t like shouting or fighting. She told me as much, and I hate upsetting her. I’ve seen her upset a few times now, and it doesn’t sit well with me. I don’t want to be the one putting a frown on her face.

My eyebrows raise. “Ooh, I’m shaking.” I wave my hands at him like a child. He frowns in response, but I’m too far in. I turn my gaze to Lace. She looks so small with me looming over her and Manny by her side. “Did you fuck him?”

Her eyes go round and her cheeks flush. “No!”

“I don’t believe you.”

“Who the fuck do you think you are?” Manny shoves me in the chest. I look down to where he touched me, ignoring the burn from his touch, and shove him back. He’s got some attitude.

I’ll fuck him up if I have to. No, you won’t. It’ll hurt Lace if he’s hurt.

“Keep your hands to yourself,” I warn. “Don’t wanna mess up that pretty boy face now, do we? How else will you swindle your way into your roommate’s bed?”

“No,” he says, angrily. “I didn’t swindle anything, asshole, and I won’t let you speak to her like that. Now you either calm the fuck down, or we’re leaving, right, Lace?”

Lace nods, she looks ashen. No doubt because she’s been caught in her little web of deceit. I don’t know what the hell she was thinking. I’m not doing shit with Manny, no matter how much she tries to make it sound like no big deal. Me and him sharing her? I ignore the racing of my heart at that thought, as well as the more illicit one of the two of us naked together, Lace between us. My dick agrees with me, but I ignore that fucker.

I try to calm myself, unsure why I’m so angry when I knew the deal. I knew we weren’t exclusive, and here I am after one fuck, like a bull in a china shop. No wonder she looks like she wants to run away.

“You’re gonna go with him? So you movin’ in with Manny was all a ruse so you could shack up together? What was it, easy access?”

“That’s not how it happened,” she whispers. “I swear to God! I was with you first, then me and Manny only just made out tonight. We didn’t have sex, we just had some fun, and I liked it. I like both of you.”

The words hang in the air, and I know I should walk away.

If I’m not mistaken, a little smirk hints at Manny’s lips and I want to knock it off his face. Clearly, he’s not put off by how awkward this situation is.

“So, what was I?” I counter. “An easy lay?”

She snorts. “Like you care about that? Puh-lease. You bikers go through women like you go through underwear!”

“Not all of us,” I gripe.

“I think what he’s trying to convey is that he cares about you, right?” Manny speculates with his eyes widening. “Otherwise he wouldn’t be this upset.”

“I’m not upset! I’m just tryin’ to make sense of what I saw tonight when I thought it was me and Lace.”

“Let’s just all take a beat.” Manny tries to control the situation, but it’s quickly spiraling. “Lace is upset, and the parking lot of a hospital isn’t the place to have deep and meaningful conversation. I think we need to go sit down and talk like adults.”

“I don’t know who you are coming in here, going off.” Lace ignores Manny, her voice gains an octave or two. Here comes my girl. “But you don’t own me, Bandit. No matter what you or the dumb club rules state. I choose who I want to be with and when , not you. I don’t even have to explain this to you. Frankly, I’ve been honest from the start, and you come barging in here like you have some ownership over me. I don’t like being barked at.”

Panic rises as she tries to push past me. I feel like a dick, but it’s only because I care about her deeply, and it seems my jealousy knows no bounds. I grip her wrist, spinning her around. “I’m sorry.” My mouth is at her ear. “It’s not like that. I… I do care about you.”

She tries to shrug away. “Don’t Jonah. I’m tired. I’m emotional, and frankly, I don’t need your shit tonight.”

“Hey!” Manny is also trying to yank me in his direction. “Don’t grab her like that!”

I flick my eyes to him. “Butt out, this has nothing to do with you!” I’m so close to grabbing him by the scruff of the neck and ruining that pretty face.

“It has everything to do with me. She wants me here. I’m not scared of you, Bandit. You won’t hurt her?—”

“I won’t hurt her, but I might hurt you.”

It’s adorable when Lace steps in front of Manny defensively. “I don’t condone fighting. If you even so much as lay a finger on him, I swear to God we’re over.”

I take a step back, trying to calm my nerves. “I’m not gonna do shit.” I run a hand through my hair for the hundredth time. “But he better stay out of my face.”

“Gladly.” Manny runs both hands through his goddamn hair, too. “That was intense. We need to go. Riot and Halo were on their way out and if they see us arguing, it’ll only rouse more suspicion.”

For once he speaks logically, so I reluctantly agree. I glance back at Lace and she seems a million miles away. I fucked up again. I came in raging like a madman, knocking shit out of the way to get what I wanted. Lace. That is not the way to win my girl’s heart and I know it. I also didn’t know until this very moment that I wanted to win my girl’s heart, but I tell myself this is just me being possessive, because I want her for myself. Sharing her, or watching her get fucked, seemed like a good idea at the time, but with Manny? That breeds a whole new level of fear inside me. The idea that she could like him more, that I’d be left out in the cold. I remind myself Lace isn’t like that. She’s sweet, kind and funny, but because I don’t have a handle on my feelings, I push all that logic aside. Seeing red is what I do best. I also know if I swing a punch and hurt Manny, she’ll never speak to me again. I can’t risk that.

I need to put a lid on my emotions, which up until I met her, was relatively easy to do. With Lace, I’m learning new things about myself each and every day and she’s doing it without any effort.

“You have a point,” I mutter, not relishing the idea of Riot catching us all shouting at each other. Questions would be raised and I’m not even sure what this is, much less explain to Riot why we’re all yelling at each other in the parking lot.

“Lace?” My voice is quiet. “Do you want to go and talk things through? It might take your mind off Charles for a little bit.” I’m not exactly verbose, but I’ll do it for her.

She hugs herself, and I grunt when Manny puts a protective arm around her before I can. “Okay. I just… I know I should’ve come clean earlier, but I…” Her bottom lip trembles. I feel a lump in my throat. She’s not yours, as much as you tell yourself that. The fact that she’s this upset is very telling. Lace is a tough woman, and I know she’s not turning on the waterworks for attention or sympathy. Her voice lowers. “I was enjoying you both.”

Her words hang, and when my eyes flick to Manny’s, he looks down at his feet, his arm still around her shoulders. “It’s alright,” Manny says, then fixes me with a look. “Isn’t it?”

I want to punch him in the throat, but I refrain. “It’s… something.” That’s all I can manage.

Lace looks behind her. “Let’s get out of here. Let me explain properly before someone does something stupid.”

“We’re not going anywhere until he puts that giant chip on his shoulder back in its box,” Manny says.

The little shit. “You know, you talk some big words there.”

“Well, I’m just a cook, after all, so what would I know?”

Lace looks between us. “What’s going on?”

“Nothing,” we say at the same time.

She huffs. “Let’s go.”

I follow behind as we cross the lot and head to the diner around the corner. It’s late, so there’s only one other occupant besides the server. We take a seat at the booth and order coffee. I slide in uncomfortably, not liking Lace is on the same side as Manny. Since when did I become such an asshole?

It crosses my mind that it’s possible Lace told Manny about some of the things I told her when I was drunk. Okay, he didn’t know it was me exactly, but there’s a high chance that he knows about the other stuff. The stuff I keep suppressing and not admitting to myself about liking men.

“It’s clear that I was wrong,” I say before Manny can open his big trap again.

Lace frowns. “About what?”

I steel my jaw, unsure if I should just blurt out the truth, but since I’m going to Hell anyway, I may as well take the express train. “When I told you once you had my dick, you’d be beggin’ me for it again.”

Her eyes widen and in my periphery, Manny shifts in his seat uncomfortably. Good. That might make him think before he speaks next time.

“You’re making this into something it isn’t,” Lace fires back. “And you’re like a damn see-saw. One second you’re aloof and don’t want to get tied down, next you’re telling me I belong to you and I’m club property.”

Manny shakes his head. “You said that to her? Man.”

I narrow my gaze. “Nobody asked you.”

“Yeah? Well, I’m here because Lace wants me here, and as long as she wants me, then I’m staying.”

“Dramatic much?” I mutter.

“The two of you bickering doesn’t help matters,” Lace interjects. “In fact, it’s getting a little annoying.”

“Oh, I’m sorry, but seeing the woman I’m fucking wrapped around and kissing another man like it’s nothin’, was a little hard to take. Excuse me for breathin’ heavy,” I grumble.

She shakes her head. “You’re such a baby.”

“Watch it,” I warn. “That’ll earn you a spanking over my knee.”

Her cheeks flush, and Manny rolls his eyes. “Let’s keep the sexy talk to a minimum,” he gripes. “I don’t need a mental image of that.”

“Why?” I taunt. “I mean, I had her first.”

Lace’s mouth gapes. “You didn’t just say that?”

I laugh. “I’m an asshole. I told you that when you first put your hands on me.”

“I’d be keepin’ those thoughts to yourself,” Manny suggests. “If you want there to be a second time.”

“Is this another one of your ‘house rules’?” I poke back. “Lace told me, by the way.”

Manny’s lips part, and he glances at Lace quickly. “I don’t like people in my house.”

“But you let me in there.”

“You were helping Lace, I made an exception.”

I rub my chin. “You sure you didn’t have this planned? I mean, she needed somewhere to crash, and she’s a beautiful woman… all of a sudden you two are makin’ out and gettin’ naked.”

Manny holds up a hand. “I’m gonna stop you right there. I helped Lace out because I was being a friend. I had no intention of hooking up with her. It was upsetting her that rentals are out of control, and they’re all gettin’ scooped up before she even had an application put in. Sue me for trying to be nice.”

“Uh, huh.”

“You’re acting really childish,” she tells me.

I pique a brow, but big mouth Manny isn’t done yet. “If anything, you’re deflecting. Let’s just cut through the bullshit. We both like her, and she wants both of us.”

“I bet you’d be more than happy to get me in the sack, wouldn’t you?” My dick throbs at my words. I know tonight is gonna end with me palming the fuck out of myself. I’m only human. Manny rolls his eyes again. “I wouldn’t sleep with you if you were the last guy on earth.”

I snort. “You sure about that?”

He looks me up and down. “I don’t like my men too beefy, if we’re being honest.”

I frown. “Too beefy? What do you like? Skin and bone?” Why the fuck does it matter what he likes?

“I also don’t like a mouthpiece.”

“That’s rich, comin’ from you.”

“Shut up!” Lace shoves us both in the shoulder with each of her hands. “You’re like little kids. How did I ever think this was going to work in the bedroom, I’ll never know.” She holds her head in her hands and guilt washes over me. She looks tired and stressed. Now all I’m doing is driving her into Manny’s arms. That’s inevitably where she’ll go tonight, back to his place, because she now conveniently lives there. I’m still not convinced he didn’t have this all planned.

I clench my fists. So it was Manny all along. She wanted to fuck both of us, or him, while I watched. Weirdly, even as he looks across the table at me angrily, I’m not as appalled as I should be. I’m nowhere near appalled when I think about his mouth on me. Fuck. When I think about both of them fucking, me behind Lace as I take her ass, it makes me want to shut the hell up, be nice and get the two of them outta here. But I can’t. I have to save face. Somehow I have to pretend this was all a big misunderstanding. I can’t have Manny knowing that I’m into guys as well. What would the club think? Or my sister?

It just can’t happen.