Chapter 16

The Littles'Library was busy that morning. By the time Mandi arrived at work—which was only about half an hour after Mommy Amelia had, once she'd dried her hair—the library was already buzzing with people.

There were two very little Littles, probably Butterflies from the Pre-School program, Mandi guessed, holding hands, and looking through all of the picture books.

"Hello there," she said. "Would you like me to help you pick out some books?"

The two Little girls looked curious. "Who're you?"

"I'm Mandi," she said. "I'm working with Mommy Amelia here in the library this week."

Their eyes grew wide. "Mommy Am—do you mean Miss Grayson?"

"That's right," she said, beaming.

"But, but, she's so scary…"

Mandi looked over to where Mommy Amelia was by the library checkout desk and waved. Mommy Amelia waved back and grinned.

The two Littles were awed. "Wooooooow… Miss Grayson knows how to smile?"

Mandi laughed. "Well, she laughs with me. Anyway, what kind of books are you looking for?"

"They were looking for a book to bring to Butterflies this morning," said a voice from behind her. She turned to see Miss Price smiling gently. "Hello, Mandi, you seem to have settled in quite well."

"Yes, thank you," she said, suddenly shy again. Apparently, chatting to other Littles was fine, but talking to Bigs still made her nervous. "I'm doing Big work during the day, working in the Littles' Library, and then I get to be Little the rest of the time."

Miss Price nodded. "That sounds really lovely, and you clearly know what you're doing when it comes to the books. Which one would you recommend for these two? Rachel, Trixie, why don't you tell Mandi what kind of story you'd like to find?"

That question opened multiple floodgates and once she'd waded through the myriad of ideas the two Littles had about the perfect story, she managed to pick out one about unicorns and emotions that seemed like it would suit them both perfectly.

Once they headed off, each of them holding one of Miss Price's hands, she went back to shelving and considered her Little some more.

She'd told Mommy Amelia the previous day that she wanted to encourage her Little to come out more in her day-to-day life, but she didn't know how that was going to gel with working in the library.

Books were wonderful, they helped her feel Little and helped her feel Big and sometimes it was just so confusing about which feeling was which.

Also, books weren't just a Little or Big thing, they also helped Mandi feel more grounded when she was dysregulated. Being autistic meant that sometimes she couldn't control her emotional responses, that they hit her like a huge tidal wave so intensely sometimes she felt like she might drown in them. But books were one of her special interests, and just being around them, running her fingers along book spines, flipping through pages, even the smell of books made her feel safe.

Suddenly, she had a brainwave.

"Mommy!" she whisper-shouted as she scuttled over. "Mommy!"

"Yes, petal? How can I help?"

"Would it be okay if I played some music while I worked? I promise I'll take out the earbuds when I'm talking to people, and I won't have the music so loud that it'd disturb anyone, but I think my Little would like it!"

Mommy Amelia beamed at her. "That sounds like an excellent idea; how clever you are!"

She blushed and ducked her head.

"No, no, princess, chin up please."

Slowly, she lifted her chin of her own accord and nodded vigorously several times to encourage herself to remain focused. "Thank you," Mandi said, accepting the compliment, even if it made her insides feel all funny.

"You're welcome. Have you a playlist on your phone you can use?"

"I do! I have one with songs from all my favorite cartoons."

"Well, that sounds perfect," said Mommy Amelia. "Are you going to be focusing on shelving, this morning?"

"Yes, please," said Mandi. "I want to sort out all of our returns, and then I'd maybe like to do one or two different book displays? If that's okay?"

"Brilliant," said her Mommy. "Which ones are you going to focus on?"

"I'd like to do some displays for Mental Health Awareness Month," said Mandi. "I thought I could pull out some picture books for the very Littles, and maybe do a YA selection for the Middles?"

Mommy Amelia looked impressed. "Now that's an excellent idea; I hadn't considered that for this month. Round here we usually focus on Mother's Day in May."

Mother's Day! Mandi had forgotten that holiday was nearly here. And it was this coming Sunday. She instantly knew she wanted to do something extra special for her Mommy Domme. A special Mother's Day for Mommy Amelia.