Epilogue

Pax took a deep breath, staring at his phone in his hand. He had pulled off the road into a parking lot to make the call. Not just because he wasn’t a fan of talking and driving. But this call had him nervous for reasons he didn’t yet want to admit. He could hardly keep his hands from shaking.

It wasn’t that he was starstruck, though he had a huge dose of admiration for Sterling James. It went both ways. They’d been introduced a few years before at a party for a playoff game where Sterling performed the halftime show. Pax had gotten Sterling tickets for several games and Sterling had returned the favor with backstage passes to several shows. Pax was a big fan of Sterling’s music, but he had another reason for his nerves.

He wanted—no, needed—Sterling to say yes. And it was a big ask.

“Paxton Shaw! How in the world are you, man?”

“You know. How’s married life? I’ll be honest—I never thought I’d be asking you that question.”

Sterling laughed. “Right? It’s amazing. Only because Reese is amazing. Guess it’s true what they say about meeting the right woman.”

Pax couldn’t find his voice for a moment and made a sound that hopefully passed as agreement. Not terror, which is what he was currently feeling at the thought of marriage. And the right woman.

“Not that you need a reason to call, but what’s up?” Sterling asked.

“You’re in Austin for Christmas, right?”

“Are you stalking me, Pax?”

Pax chuckled. “Hey, whatever you post on Instagram is fair game, man.”

“You mean whatever Reese posts on Instagram,” Sterling said. There was a muffled sound, like Sterling had put his hand over the phone. “I’m putting you on speakerphone. My wife wanted to say something.”

“Hey, Pax! I’m a big fan. Sterling swears that you can get us into a game sometime. I’d love to meet the only football star my husband actually likes.”

Pax chuckled. “He might be the only one who likes me right now. Anytime. I’d love to have you. Just let me know when our schedules match up.”

Reese squealed. “Yay! Thanks. And about your rep … I’ve seen the news this week. Can I help?”

“The team’s PR guy is handling everything.”

“You mean bungling everything? I know Lawrence. He’s a hot mess. Look, as soon as you guys get off the phone, look for a message from me. I can handle Lawrence. And I think that I can help with your current crisis.”

“I’d appreciate that. Seriously.”

“Great. Hang in there! We’ll get you straightened out.”

Pax doubted that. This week, his already bad reputation had taken a nose-dive. The kind he didn’t think he could recover from. He wasn’t even sure his career would recover. The league still hadn’t announced that his suspension, but Pax fully expected them to. Any day now. Reese might be amazing, but it would take a miracle to fix his image.

To be honest, his PR issue was the least of his worries right now. He’d already lost everything in his life that really mattered to him because of his own mistakes. Losing his career would simply be the period at the end of the sentence.

“I’m back,” Sterling said. “So, what’s up?”

“Look, I’m in Houston this week and wanted to ask for a favor. It’s a big one, or I wouldn’t ask. I know it’s Christmas week, but I wanted to see if you’d be willing to come play for a charity event on Saturday.”

Before Sterling could protest, Pax took a breath and launched into a quick description of the event for his charity, Wheels Up. Silently hoping and even praying that Sterling would say yes.

“It will benefit children and youth who need sports wheelchairs that insurance won’t provide. Plus, better accessibility for a number of families who can’t afford the upgrades. I know it’s a big ask, and that you’re probably spending time with Reese’s family. But it would be amazing to have you there.”

Sterling lowered his voice. “I love Reese’s family, but personally, I could use a little break. Let me ask my wife.”

Pax wiped his free hand on his jeans. It didn’t help. It had been an unseasonably warm week in Texas. The AC in the car was blasting, but even the back of his T-shirt was damp with sweat.

If Sterling said no, it wasn’t a huge deal. Right? The charity event would still be a success. Cilla had made sure of that with all her careful planning. She was brilliant. Not that he ever doubted that. He knew even back in high school that she would do great things.

His stomach churned. He simply had never imagined that Cilla would do those great things while in a wheelchair. And that it would be all his fault.

Whenever he thought that he had beaten back the guilt or punished himself enough, it surprised him with its weight again. He would never escape it.

Did he really think getting Sterling James to perform would help?

Shame burned his throat. Pax closed his eyes, gripping the wheel of his car with his free hand. If only he could take back that one night …

He wouldn’t have ruined Cilla’s life.

Or lost her love.

“Pax? It’s a go. Reese is excited to meet you. Maybe more excited about the kolaches from some place on the road between Austin and Katy. But anyway. Just send me the details and I’m glad to be there. It will be a pretty stripped-down acoustic vibe.”

“That’s perfect. Wow! That’s so fantastic. I can’t thank you enough!”

“No worries. I know you’d do the same for me. And Reese is going to keep bugging you about helping manage you. Fair warning, you might not be able to escape her. She’s quite good.”

“Hey, anyone who can make you look good must be amazing at her job.”

Sterling laughed. “Thanks for that. Oh, one last question.”

“Shoot.”

“What’s her name?”

“Sorry?” His heart kicked up a few notches. He felt suddenly exposed. Caught.

“The woman who’s got you tied up in knots. Not that I don’t believe you’d be involved in something like this, but I get the sense there’s much more to this story. This is the kind of thing you do when you’re in love. Am I wrong?”

No. He wasn’t wrong.

Paxton loved Cilla. And that was the problem.

Because no matter what he did for her, Pax could never deserve her love.

* * *

Keep reading about Paxton’s story in Forgiving the Football Player!! That’s the next book in the Not So Bad Boys series, focused on men who need a second chance and hope for redemption.