16. Lane

Noah"s voice comes out of the dark as soon as I step into the apartment. It startles me, and I flip on the light to see him sitting at the far corner of the couch.

"Were you waiting up for me? In the dark?"

"I asked you a question," he counters, sounding far more perturbed than he has a right to be.

"What, are you my daddy now?"

After my talk with Danny, I did a slow walk on the treadmill to pass some time and clear my head. By the time I walked up the stairs to come home, I was so much calmer I"d almost forgotten what had me so worked up to begin with. But he's been waiting for me, ready to bombard me the moment I walk in.

"So? Where were you?"

I cock my head to the side, noticing his jaw tick while he waits for me to answer. Instead, I bend down and unlace my sneakers. They"re still pretty wet, so after I toe them off, I pull the laces so they"re open wider, and leave them on the mat while I head towards my room. When Noah scrambles off the couch, I"m assuming it's so he can prevent me from closing the door in his face. To his credit, he stays outside the entry to my room, waiting while I dig a box of large silica packets from my closet. He just stands there, watching me, not saying anything. He steps back when I pass him, looking worried, or like he's trying to work out some complex equation.

"Danny"s a nice guy," he says eventually.

My spine tenses at the suspicion in his tone, but I choose to pretend I don"t hear it while I fill a glass with water. It"s obvious he wants to say so much more, but he holds back. I don"t assume that"ll last long.

"He is. Makes a mean grilled cheese, too."

Noah scowls and chews on his lip. I can almost understand why he likes ruffling my feathers so much, because I'm finding his discomfort highly satisfying. I feel, for at least this one moment, that I"m the one with the power. I know that won"t last long. What I don"t know is why he cares if I was hanging out with Danny.

"Does Danny know?"

I nearly choke on my water.

"Know what?"

Noah pushes his hair off his forehead and gives me a look, half exasperated and half pitying. The glare I shoot him is one of warning.

Noah steps around the counter, blocking my way out of the small kitchen. Obviously, I"m bigger than him, so I could just knock him out of my way if I needed to. But he always seems to know that I won"t. What would he do if I did? Earlier, when I yelled at him to get out of my room, he was shocked that I"d actually asserted myself.

He must think I"m so weak.I understand why. I have a tendency to freeze when challenged by him, and he always takes advantage. He thinks I need him to release stress, and maybe he"s right. But he needs me to make him feel bigger, more significant.

Swallowing a mouthful of saliva that keeps filling my mouth, I take a step backwards before catching myself. I"m not going to let him have all the power!I"m not.

Straightening myself to my full height, which is only a couple of inches shorter than Noah"s six-foot-three, I lift my chin to show that I"m not intimidated by him.

I"m not intimidated by him.

I"m intimidated by the way he makes me feel. By the predatory look in his eye, and the way all the blood rushes away from my brain when he licks his bottom lip.

"Does Danny know that you"re a slut for your stepbrother? That only a few hours ago you were covered in my cum?"

And there goes that frozen reflex. A light switch goes off in my brain, like it"s rebooting. As if he"s speaking another language that my mind can"t process. But my body does. The same switch that turns my brain off turns my body on. Every nerve ending is on high alert. Every hair follicle is peaked. Every rib in my chest contracts.

He"s in my space before I know it, and I"m being crowded against the wall. I forget every thought in my head, including my resolution not to let him have all the power. The only things I can think about are how his breath always smells like candy, and that he seems so much taller when he stands up straight. He"s looking down at me, making me feel small.

I don't want to feel small.

Snapping out of the trance he put me in so effectively, I puff out my chest and bump him back some. He doesn"t back off. His gaze snaps to mine, the dark blue of his irises almost black, and he advances on me again. My back hits the wall. Noah presses his body against mine.

He doesn"t do anything else, just stares down at me and breathes my air. My tongue darts out to lick my suddenly parched lips. Noah"s eyes track the movement, and he cocks his head to the side like he's tracking his prey. I move to my left, thinking to step around him, but Noah"s hands smack against the wall, caging me in. To get out of this, I"ll have to touch him. If I touch him, I"ll break.

I"m stuck.

His mouth is too close to mine.

"N-no." The half-whispered word comes out sounding more like a whimper. Noah"s face drops down, his forehead touching the inside of his arm, and I relax. It only lasts a moment before Noah leans in again, putting his mouth so close to the shell of my ear that it almost touches.

"Are you saying no because you don"t want this, or because you don"t want to want this?"

He"s got me there.

"Don"t kiss me," I whisper pathetically.

I can feel Noah"s stupid smirk before his nose touches the side of my face and I flinch so hard my hips buck into his. My eyes squeeze shut, not sure which part of him to pay attention to. To run away from. To press into. His cheek rubs against mine so softly, I might not have felt it if not for his light stubble. Then his nose runs down the length of my neck. I stretch it instinctively, but berate myself mentally when I realize what I"m doing.

What am I doing?

Those thoughts die again, because Noah presses his lips against the column of my throat. Not really kissing, just rubbing his lips against my skin. I swallow heavily, and his mouth finds my Adam"s apple. His teeth nip at it, and I gasp.

Noah groans and presses into me more. His erection is obvious, and pressing along mine.

He"s into this?

Obviously, he was into what happened earlier, but I really thought that was more of a humiliation thing than a sex thing. Hell, I"m not convinced that it isn"t a humiliation thing for me, because I seem to react in a very specific way when Noah subdues and shames me.

But right now I don"t feel humiliation.

I feel alive. The arousal coursing through me has me so stimulated, I could easily be convinced that I've been drugged. And I think Noah is feeling this too.

"That fucking sound," he growls.

"W-what sound?"

He doesn"t answer, just presses his forehead against my neck and hums. His erection is still throbbing against mine, and it"s all I can do to remain completely still. All of me wants to move, not away, but closer. Into him, against him, on him. My dick has its own heartbeat.

He finally speaks again, his words low and growly. "Tell me you don"t want Danny."

"I don"t want Danny," I answer automatically. Because I don"t. Danny intrigues me, and he"s nice. But that's it.

"Now tell me you don"t want me?"

My throat bobs again as I swallow harshly, and he nudges my neck with his nose. "Say it," he taunts.

"I don"t w-want you." My words come out choppy and weak, even to my ears.

Noah hums, then nips at my neck again, this time harder, before soothing it with a lick.

Oh good Lord, please help me. Please, please,please.

"Please what?" Noah asks against my throat. I didn't mean to say that out loud. I drop my chin to my chest to cover my Adam"s apple, since he seems to like it so much, but he takes a hand off the wall and grips my chin with it. "Please what, Lane?" he repeats.

"Please…"

Let me go. Never let go. Give me more. Get off me. Go away. Bite me again. Touch me. Kiss me. Please. Dear Jesus, I"ve lost my mind.

"Tell me you want me to touch you."

"I don"t want you to touch me."

Noah pulls my chin up harder, smirking. Because he knows. Of course he knows.

He lowers his face so our noses are almost touching.

"I want to touch you," he confesses. The low, rumbly tone of his voice sends a shiver through me that begins and ends with my erection.

Noah chuckles darkly as my body responds to him, and the sound doesn"t help. At the second obvious throb of my dick, Noah takes his right hand off the wall. Gripping my chin in his left, his free hand roams across and over my chest and down my stomach. At the waistband of my track pants, he pushes his fingers under the hem, teasing the skin and making my hips buck. Then he removes his fingers and trails them over, down, and around the bulge of my erection.

"So long," he purrs.

"W-Why are you doing this?" I ask, my voice strained.

"Because I"m curious," he says simply, casually, as though he isn"t wrecking my entire being right now.

I want to be upset or incensed that he"s playing with me out of mere curiosity. I know I"ll probably have an entire breakdown over this later. But right now, my only remaining brain cells live in the wrong head.

When his hand cups my hard length through the fabric of my pants, I moan out loud. He squeezes and strokes me through my pants, and I almost think it would be worth burning in hell just to feel his skin against mine. I wriggle against him, although I"m not really sure what I"m trying to accomplish.

I should make him stop. I want him to stop.

I don"t though. God help me, I really don't.

When his hand slips into my pants, and the heat of his hand wraps around my bare skin, I let out a whine that doesn"t sound as if it came from me. My body lurches, and Noah must think I"m trying to escape. His hand releases its grip on my chin, but his fingers splay out over the bottom half of my face, pushing my head back against the wall. He holds me firmly as his hand strokes me slowly. I watch his eyes, but he's watching what his hand is doing to me. His thumb swipes over my head and I groan, my mouth opening just enough for Noah to take advantage. Two of his fingers push into my mouth as he holds my face against the wall and begins to jack me relentlessly. My breaths increase, harder and faster in time with the movement of his hand.

I hate myself for how good it feels to have someone else touch me. He"s so rough, much rougher than I ever am on myself, but, oh god?—

"Noah!" I rasp.

"You gonna come for me, little brother?"

"Oh ffffff— Yes!"

"Say it."

"I-I"m going to come for you." I can't breathe. "Oh, God?—"

"Dirty up that mouth like I"m dirtying up your cock. I want to hear you curse for me and tell me?—"

"Fuuuck," I choke out weakly. "I"m… I'm… commmiiinng," I whine, using whatever air remains in my lungs.

"Who are you coming for, Lane?" Noah growls as he continues pumping me in a steady, squeezing rhythm.

"For you. I'm coming for you, Noah."

A tingling sensation explodes in the back of my head as pure electricity shoots down my spine and explodes from my core. Ropes of cum spurt out of me as I cry out, soaking Noah"s hand, both our shirts, and the front of his pants. It"s everywhere, and it goes on for so much longer than any orgasm I"ve ever had before.

When I finally stop coming, I"m dizzy, and I lean heavily against the wall. I struggle to catch my breath. I don"t take my eyes off Noah, who is looking at his hand like it belongs to someone else. His eyes flick up to mine, still with that dangerous look in his eyes.

Noah releases my face, pulling his fingers from my mouth, but not for long. He reaches up with his other hand, the one soaked with my cum, and swipes some of it across my mouth. I hold my breath, afraid and astonished, and a little nauseous. When he"s done painting it across my lips, he does his own, and I think I experience full brain death. My eyes latch onto the way he licks it from his lips, instinctively doing the same. The taste of my cum isn"t as offensive as it should be. It"s a little salty, maybe a bit bitter, but doesn"t really taste like much. I want to know what he thinks of how I taste.

A few moments pass, and once I"ve come down, reality starts to weigh down on me. Quickly tucking myself back into my pants, I look down at my body, wondering how I let this happen. My legs feel weak, like they might give out. Dejected, I slide down the wall to sit on the ground.