Chapter 32

Emil was waitingfor me outside the dining room after breakfast the next day. He offered me his arm and I had to lace mine around it and smile when he declared he was taking me for a long walk in the courtyard at the back of the castle. I had to smile as he, too, promised me that he was going to give me everything if I became his and that he would love me until his dying breath if I only let him.

Shadow was flying around the courtyard, far away, but looking at him made telling Emil the same things I’d told Romin last night easier. It distracted me to watch his wings stretching and beating the air so powerfully while I pretended to be focused on the vampire beside me.

I endured. I didn’t cry. I let Emil hold my hand and smile at me and push my hair away from my face, and all the while a voice in my head whispered, you should feel lucky. You should be glad that such powerful, beautiful, terrifying men are all fighting for your attention. You should feel lucky!

So then why did I feel like I wanted to dive off a cliff somewhere and never be seen or heard of again?

Finally, Emil let me get back to my room with a black rose he cut for me in the garden, the biggest one, with the softest velvety petals he said reminded him of my skin.

Then I was alone.

Valentine was nowhere to be seen the whole day, and so I locked myself in my room with the pretense that I had a terrible headache. It wasn’t a lie; it just wasn’t the whole truth, either.

Aster and Vinny brought dinner to my room, and no other Evernight came to take me on walks or offer me drinks that night. I just sat there in front of the window and waited for Valentine to come ask me to play for him in the theatre.

Fuck, the world was getting too crowded for me, and I just wanted to make music.

But Valentine didn’t come that night at all, and I was too much of a coward to go find the theatre myself—no, scratch that.

I was too much of a coward to accidentally run into Grey, find him bleeding again, and do something so stupid I’d never recover from it. Fuck that, I would rather stay in my room.

The next day, though, even that didn’t save me. Tristian came to my door an hour after I’d finished breakfast.

He gave me a flower, too, this one a deeper purple, and I had no idea what it was called but it was gorgeous. It smelled heavenly, too. He also bowed in front of me and told me that he would be taking me to see one of the things he loved most in the world.

So, I got dressed and I followed him outside the castle, and I thought we’d be going to the courtyard again, but instead he took me west, to a part of the estate I’d never been to before.

An extension to the castle’s main building was made out of large stone blocks, just as big as the five towers, and three guards were standing in front of the large wooden doors.

“What’s this?” I asked, already curious to see, but when the guards pulled the doors open, I nearly passed out.

It was like a stable with a stone floor and an impossibly tall ceiling made of wood panels that looked like they could slide open if you pulled at the ropes attached to them hard enough. A stable with wooden fences and hay on the ground—except instead of animals, dragons were sleeping inside.

“This is Blackheart, my dragon,” Tristian announced when he basically dragged me in, and I was too powerless, too numb to stop him.

“Oh, God,” I choked when my eyes took in the dragon he was pointing at—and he wasn’t the only one there. Three more were behind those low fences—including Storm, Grey’s dragon, the one who’d carried me into the Whispering Woods.

“What do you think?” Tristian asked, smiling proudly as he looked at his dragon.

“I-I-I…” No words left my lips.

He laughed. “Don’t be afraid, Fall. I’m right here! The dragons won’t hurt you.”

“Can’t we just stay outside?” I said when I found my voice.

“But I want you to meet Blackheart. Come on, I promise he doesn’t bite. Look, he’s already up,” he said, intertwining his fingers with mine as he waved his other hand to the dragon again—and he was right, the creature was waking up, his beady black eyes half open.

He was easily the size of a car lying down like that, black wings folded on his back, front legs with those curved claws under his chin like he thought he was a damn cat or a dog. The big black scales and spikes on his body looked like they’d just been dipped into a pool of black ink.

“This is him. Third biggest dragon of all,” Tristian said, and he seemed to be in love with his dragon for real. The way he looked at him said so clearly.

“He’s…impressive,” I forced myself to say, and he beamed.

“He is, he is. That over there’s Balthazar. He gets really cranky when he’s woken from his naps,” said Tristian, pointing to the right where Balthazar, Romin’s truck-sized dragon was napping. He was curled up around himself and had spread his large wings around like a protective shield. I couldn’t see his face, for which I was thankful.

“That behind him is Storm,” Tristian continued. “He brought you to us—remember?” I barely nodded. Of course, I remembered, and I could see Storm now, too, his big light eyes open only a slit, as he, too, lay there wrapped around himself, with his wings half spread and his tail around his legs.

Even though he wasn’t moving an inch, his attention was on me. He saw all of me, just like that first night when he and Grey had been flying outside my window. Fuck.

“Storm is, um…” Tristian scratched his cheek uncomfortably for a second. “You know what, let’s just stay away from Storm, okay? From both of them—let’s stick to this side.” And he pulled me to the left. “Now, this little fella here is Rider.” The other smaller dragon napping near Blackheart was on his back with his legs up in the air—exactly like a dog. Emil’s dragon was smaller than Tristian’s even though Emil’s was older. It looked just as vicious as all of them, though. Spikes and black scales and really sharp curved claws, and that long tail…

“Look—Blackheart wants to say hi.”

My entire body became perfectly numb when I turned and found the dragon’s long face right in front of me.

Right in front of me, barely two feet away.

More than twice my height. His eyes were wide open, so shiny and black I saw my reflection in them perfectly, and I looked just as terrified as I felt.

“Hold still, Fall. Let him get used to your scent,” said Tristian, squeezing my hand in his. “You know, after the Blood Call, Dragons’ Den always brings the same gift for the new bride—a tooth or a claw from the dragon who laid the egg of the one that belongs to her master. So if your blood chooses me, you will be gifted something from Blackheart’s mother, and its supposed to make it easier for you to bond with him.” He flinched. “It doesn’t exactly work, but it could work with you if you try hard enough, huh?”

Fuck, I was hardly breathing—and he expected me to answer?

Tristian laughed when I didn’t. “Please stop worrying, Fall—I’m right here, I promise. You’re perfectly safe!”

If only I could believe him. If only I had the courage to look that dragon in the eye as he stretched his thick neck and came closer and closer, and his large nostrils flared as he sniffed me. I wished I could keep my eyes open and see the whole thing, but I squeezed them shut and I held onto Tristian’s arm with all my strength instead, hoping this would be over soon.

Finally, I heard him stepping back, moving away from me.

“You can open your eyes now,” Tristian whispered, and the dragon was already far enough away that I could breathe again, but the man stopped in front of me.

I moved back instinctively, and he laughed once more. “See? Safe,” he said, pointing his thumb back. “Now, he knows your scent and if he likes you, he’ll protect you with his life,” Tristian told me. “And I’ll protect you with mine.”

“I appreciate it,” I whispered, though I’d rather be anywhere else. Not like I was a stranger to dragons, but Shadow was different—he was small! Small enough to hang out on my shoulder. These creatures here were big enough to eat me, and I really didn’t want to be near them for much longer.

Finally, Tristian agreed to get out of there.

God, I was so sick of feeling so fucking helpless…

“Do you ride your dragon?” I asked just to keep him distracted—and walking. I breathed easier the closer to the doors we were.

“Of course. I’ll take you up there any time you want, just say the word,” Tristian said. “We’re not really allowed to do that before the Blood Call, but I won’t tell if you don’t.” And he winked at me, so handsome he looked like a character out of a movie.

“Thank you, but I like the ground just fine.”

Tristian laughed. “It’s okay. You’ll have time to change your mind. Let’s take a walk. I want to hear all your questions.”

I looked at him, at the arm he offered me. “My questions?” Didn’t he mean my story?

“Yes, I’m sure you have a lot of those. My brothers bored you with questions themselves and I’m sure you didn’t get the chance to ask about anything that makes you curious. So, ask me. Anything you want,” he said.

“Oh,” I whispered, looking behind into that building full of dragons—only to find Balthazar’s eyes on me.

I froze. He’d opened his wings to the sides just a bit, and between them I saw his eyes, wide and black, reflecting orange from the fire on the torches, focused on me.

“Fall.”

Tristian’s face was in front of me, breaking my eye contact with the dragon. I drew in a sharp breath.

“What’s the matter? You okay?” He looked genuinely concerned.

I gave him a smile, an honest one. “I am. Let’s just get out of here.”

“Of course. As you wish.” Taking my hand in his again, he waved and the guards pushed the doors closed behind us, but I didn’t look inside again, afraid Balthazar would still be staring at me.

“Tell me about them,” I said to Tristian as we walked back to the courtyard. “About the dragons. How does it work? How many kinds are there? All of yours look slightly different from one another.”

“They are. Different kinds of the same species,” Tristian said. “They’re given to us as gifts from Dragons’ Den because we can’t leave the Whispering Woods. Through them we connect to the other Isles,” he eagerly explained. “They’re brought to us as eggs, and we see them hatching, and then growing. There are many kinds of dragons—wyrms and hydras and orcs and dragonettes…”

And on and on he went to tell me about dragons and Dragons’ Den, what existed now and what had gone extinct with the curse, and how the brothers were connected to them on a very deep level.

I had time to get used to Tristian’s company, and he was so invested in answering my questions and so fascinated with dragons that he never made a single comment to make me feel uncomfortable again.

By the time he took me back to my room, I wasn’t shaking. I wasn’t afraid, but I was more desperate than ever to leave this madness behind and go back to the real world where there weren’t thirty-two kinds of living dragons to watch out for.

The next morning,I felt my blood rushing, different from usual. I felt it rushing, and it scared the shit out of me because I could see better and hear better and move like I’d never moved before. I hadn’t worked out a single day since I got here, yet somehow, I was stronger, my muscles more defined, and I was faster, too. The brightness of my hair had turned up a notch—or maybe it was my eyes. The same eyes that seemed be getting greener by the day, and I knew exactly what this was.

The same thing as all the brides said they went through—the transformation. The way magic enhanced your everything as it became more prominent in your body was incredible, the stuff of fairytales, and I was witnessing it firsthand. The problem was, I couldn’t even enjoy it because the more magic I had, the closer I would be to the Blood Call.

That dreaded event or whatever the hell it was, was close. Nobody wanted to tell me anything about it still, and that just made it worse, but it was almost there, I could feel it. Once it happened, I’d be done for. I’d belong to one of them. I’d have to be their bride and sleep in their bed.

Fuck.

“Good morning, Sunshine.”

My eyes closed and a loud breath left my lips. Valentine was right outside my door—I recognized his voice. He’d come back after basically disappearing on me for two days.

I went to the door and opened it before I said a single word. Valentine was the closest person to me in this place. I considered him a friend,and damn it, I’d missed his stupid face. I’d missed the ease I felt when he was around—which was wrong, I knew that, but there were only so many options I had here. I felt better in his company than even the other brides.

“You’re a prick, you know that?” I said when I took in his grinning face and Shadow hanging out on his shoulder.

“I missed you, too,” he said, spreading his arms to the sides. “How about a hug?”

I burst out laughing. “Why the hell not?” And I walked straight into his open arms, shocking him all over again. His arms locked around my back the next second, and he slammed me to his chest. Shadow flew away as if he wanted to give us a moment, and Valentine tightened his grip around me even more, lowering his forehead on my shoulder, sniffing my neck hard.

“Don’t be an ass. If you bite me, I’ll make sure to kill every unborn Evernight baby in your balls,” I muttered against his shoulder.

He laughed, his entire body shaking. “Aren’t you just a ray of sunshine.”

I inhaled deeply, too, and the metallic scent of blood mixed in with that of dirt made me freeze for a moment. My heart skipped a beat and I moved back to see his face.

His blood-splattered face.

“What the hell happened?” He was bloody, too?

“I’m fine,” Valentine muttered.

“You’re covered in blood!” How could he be fine with all that blood and dirt on his shirt and neck and hair—shit, it was all over him.

“Not my blood,” he said. “I’m okay, I promise.”

“Are you sure?” I mean, he did look okay. His eyes were just as lively, and his skin had color just like always.

“I’m a vampire, Sunshine. There is nothing on this Isle that can come even close to hurting me.”

“Right.” I cleared my throat and pretended I hadn’t just made a fool out of myself.

And then I remembered that I’d asked Grey a couple days ago if he was okay, too—twice.

But he had been hurt for real. I’d cleaned his leg myself. The same leg that had healed not twenty-four hours later.

Shit, Valentine was right—they were vampires. What the hell was I doing, worrying about the likes of Grey?!

Focus on Valentine.That’s what I was going to do, just focus on Valentine.

“So, what—were you out there hunting?”

“I was,” he said.

“Oh, well, I hope you had a great hunt. I thought you were dead or something. Silly me, with you being a vampire,” I muttered. “Meanwhile, I was being courted by your brothers, in case you didn’t know.” His smile faltered. “Yep. I’m having drinks with Romin and walks with Emil and playing twenty-one questions with Tristian—and it isn’t even Grey’s turn yet. How amazing is that?!” I sounded so damn bitter, I surprised my own self.

“I know,” Valentine said. “I know, Sunshine.”

I grabbed my hips. “You know.”

“Yes, I know. But they won’t hurt you.”

“Right, right—but remind me again, who’s keeping me here even though I want to leave?” Sarcasm dripped from my voice and he heard it.

“The curse,” he said. “That would be the curse.”

I rolled my eyes. “Smart-ass.”

“It’s the truth.”

“Of course, it is! Just like you disappearing for two whole days.” Not that I was accusing him, but I just wanted to make him as miserable as I’d felt hiding in this room all day.

“He took me out there to clear a mountain of bears on purpose. I couldn’t come back sooner,” Valentine said.

I flinched. “Oh.” Bears. They had bears here, too. How nice. And what the hell did a bear look like in the Whispering Woods?

I didn’t even want to know.

“Yes, Romin wanted you to be on your own without me for a little bit so he took me to the other side of the Isle.”

“Of course, he sent you away.” Fucking Romin and his smile and his pretty words. For all I knew he sent Grey for the cougar as well.

The question was, though, why didn’t I want to even mention that to Valentine?

“I can’t disobey his orders, not yet,” said Valentine. “I’m sorry I couldn’t take you to the theatre.”

“It’s fine,” I muttered, feeling bad for accusing him now. “I’m okay, still in one piece. The magic in me is growing. I can actually feel it.”

His brows shot up. “Have you used it?”

I shook my head. “No—I don’t want it. I don’t want the stupid magic,” I said with a deep sigh. It was so relieving not to keep these words to myself the way I’d been doing for the past few days with everyone else.

“I don’t want to play bride, Valentine, and I don’t want to wait for the Blood Call. I don’t want any of it—I just want to get out of here.” And it felt mighty good to be saying all of it out loud so that these thoughts didn’t drive me insane locked inside my head. The weight of them lessened on my shoulders instantly.

Maybe there really was a point to therapy and talking about your feelings.

“I’m sorry, Sunshine,” Valentine said. Sorry—because what more could he say? I was here because I chose to be here. Yes, I was tricked, but he didn’t do this. The fucking curse did.

“Yeah. Me, too.”

“Let’s go to the theatre. I’ll take you right now.”

And that did sound mighty fine, but… “Actually, I’d rather just sit here for a while.”

“Can I join you?” he said without missing a beat.

I smiled. “Only for a little bit.”

“If I were just a little delusional, I’d say you missed me, Sunshine,” said Valentine when I sat on the threshold with my back against the doorframe on the right, and he on the left. Like that, we were looking at one another, not in the room or in the hallway. Just…somewhere in between.

I grinned. “But you’re not delusional. You’re a vampire.”

“I am.”

“A very bloody, very dirty vampire.”

A thought suddenly popped into my head—no, an image. Of Grey, bloody and dirty, slowly striding toward me, those milky grey eyes locked on mine.

The same image that had been in my mind the moment I woke up.

My heart skipped a tiny beat and my stomach tied in a thousand knots, but at least I wasn’t wearing blue today. I was wearing a navy shirt instead. Navy—not blue.There’s a difference.

And it was the fear that was making me think of him all day. The fear—and the curiosity to know what the hell went on inside his head.

I mean, Grey had given me a compliment. Two—if we want to be specific, and that was certainly a curious thing.

Also, what kind of books did he like to read? What kind of books would he risk his lifefor?

Shit.

“I can get even dirtier,” Valentine said, pulling me out of my fucked-up thoughts.

Thank God. I focused on his face again. “Don’t be naughty.”

“I heard that little skipped beat,” he said with a boyish grin.

Oh, hell…I

forced a smile on my lips. It wasn’t because of you.

“How about you tell me what it’s like out there,” I said in barely a whisper because my thoughts were going to drive me insane for real, and the day hadn’t even started yet. “Tell me about the mountain you were on. Tell me about what you used to do as a kid. What you liked. Just talk to me.” When he did, I’d listen. I’d focus only on him, not on that image. Not on Grey.

Not on what was coming tomorrow.

Valentine raised his brows. “What I used to do as a kid?”

“Mhmm. I want to hear all of it no matter how lame or how cringeworthy. I want to know you.” And maybe someday, if we remained friends, I’d tell him all the lame and cringeworthy things about me, too.

He chuckled. “Sure thing.”

“Start from the beginning.”

Valentine didn’t hesitate. “There are three mountains in the Whispering Woods. The biggest is far south, on the other side of this castle, called Mount Erid…”

The more he spoke, the more I forgot about the world around me. The more he told me about the bears and the cougars and the other animals, the families of Skinwalkers who lived at the edges of the mountain, the clearer my head became. The more he told me about the game of cards he used to play with himself when he was a kid, the better my mood.

We only talked for about an hour before Lucinda came to get me for breakfast, but it helped a great deal. And even though Valentine didn’t join us in the dining room—he was in desperate need of a shower and a change of clothes—I was already feeling a lot more like myself than I had the past two days while I’d been consumed by Grey.

At that point I still didn’t really realize how very, very screwed I was.

But I would find out soon enough.