Six

T his place is a major distraction, and I should have known coming here, especially after seeing Ashley last night, that it would just dredge up old memories. I came to this diner to study, but all I seem to be doing is thinking about her.

Focus, Trent. Clinicals start next week, and I really want to be ahead on my class work. I know I deserve to be there, but the fact Nico and Trevor pulled strings to push my application along has me feeling the pressure to excel.

Slurpppp. The couple in the booth next to me sharing their chocolate milkshake takes me back. Another memory of Ashley surges to the surface.

We were never able to be loved up like that couple out in the open here in New York, but it still rewinds time. Transporting me to Nori Beach four years ago, before my world was flipped upside down.

Before I found out the girl I was falling fast and hard for was promised to another .

“Can we go on the Ferris wheel?” Ashley looks up at me, taking another sip from her side of the milkshake we are sharing.

“You know I can’t say no to you,” I respond with a smirk.

She smiles broadly, and my chest constricts like it always does when I get to see that happy, carefree expression on her face.

“Lottie, Greyson!” Ashley calls over her shoulder. “You guys want to go on the Ferris Wheel with us?”

“Is that even a question?” Lottie smiles, already pulling my big, broody cousin along behind her.

Just like me, he will do anything she asks of him.

“Let’s finish this milkshake before we get on,” Ashley says, biting her lip with a mischievous glint in her eyes.

“What are you up to?”

She shrugs, but the little smirk lingers on her lips. “I just want your hands to be free. That’s all.”

“I like how you think.” Anticipation thrums through my body. I can never get enough of her, and knowing she’s going back to New York in the next few days has me even more desperate for every second, every touch, every kiss.

Tossing the empty cup in the trash can, I take her hand and get in line behind G and Lottie.

Once our cart starts moving up into the darkening summer sky, I grab her neck, moving her ear to my lips. “I wish you could sit on my lap and use me like you did that first night we met. Rubbing your hot little pussy all over my cock.”

She releases a whimper, and my hand trails up her exposed tan skin, running along the inside of her thigh .

“You have no idea how bad I wanted inside of you that night.” I recall the feral way I felt from the second I saw her at the club in New York. It still blows me away that fate brought her to my hometown this summer.

I nip at her neck, and she lets out a low moan, picking her hips up, silently asking me to touch her where she really wants me. “Did you wear this skirt for me?”

“Yes, touch me. Please, Trent.”

She moans as my fingers find her wet center. “Trent… Trent….”

“Trent!”

I blink a few times, wondering if I conjured her up in the flesh.

“Trent, what are you doing here?” Ashley asks, a mix of sadness and anger lining her gorgeous face.

Snapping myself out of the trance, I tell her the truth. “I happen to love this place’s black and white shakes. A beautiful girl turned me on to them a long time ago.”

I see the way she tries to fight her smile, but can’t quite hold it in at my admission.

Ash shakes her head in disbelief. “I can’t believe you still come here.”

It makes me feel closer to you.

“I’ve been studying here since the semester started. I figured you must not come here anymore.”

“I was craving a milkshake today, and my ankle was feeling better, so I was ready to get out of the house,” she says, just as they shout out, “order up” at the counter. I watch as she walks over to grab her shake, making sure she doesn’t favor her injured foot. Her gait appears normal. Good, just a minor sprain.

Black and white milkshake. A vision of her the first time we met here dances across the forefront of my mind. She’s even more stunning and just as much mine as she was that day. She may not have known it then or now, but she will.

“Sit if you want,” I say, waving to the open bench across from me.

Ashley shakes her head and tips the cup toward me. “Thanks, but I got mine to-go. Luca is waiting outside.”

“I understand. Did you give Friday any thought? Maybe say you’re meeting a friend from design school.” I probably shouldn’t press her, but I’m desperate to have true alone time together.

Tilting her head, she completely ignores me and asks her own question. “So, you’ve been coming to the diner for the last month or two since your school started back up, but you haven’t even had the decency to try to look for me…to tell me you’re okay?”

“Ash.” My chest aches as I stare into her eyes; she doesn’t get it. Everything…and I mean everything is for her. “I didn’t know how safe it was to see you. Why do you think I was truly at that gala?” I say, knowing it won’t give away too much, but needing her to know she has been on my mind.

“How?” Her brow pinches as her eyes search my face for the truth.

“Micah.” Again, true, just not completely.

She nods, looking out the window, pondering. “To your question, yes, I’ve been thinking about Friday. I’m just not sure about it yet.”

Oomph, like a punch to the gut. But what should I expect? I just showed up out of the blue after three years of no contact. At least, in her eyes.

“And also, I ended up finishing design school online, so I don’t really have friends based around that.”

Wait, what?

I reach for her hand, and surprisingly, she lets me grab onto it. “Why did you drop your in-person classes?”

“It’s a long story.” With a sigh, she looks down at where my hand touches hers. I know she feels it, the deep-rooted connection and electricity that thrums from me to her.

Shocking me, she sits her milkshake down and leans in, inspecting my arm that holds her more closely.

Shit.

“What are those marks for? They look familiar.”

“It’s something my brother has too. You’ve probably seen them on him.” I’m hoping that answer will satisfy her, because I’m not ready to tell her everything yet. Not here, not so exposed.

“I’ve seen it somewhere else.” She chews the inside of her lip, trying to recall where.

“Trent, hi.”

Fuck, fuck! Terrible timing, Amelia.

Amelia’s face drops when she realizes who I’m talking to. “Oh, Ashley. Hi. I haven’t seen you in forever.”

“Yeah, I was just leaving,” Ashley responds curtly, and it’s obvious she’s pissed at seeing this blast from the past.

Ashley twists her arm from my grip, not even sparing me another glance as she rushes out the door .

“Amelia, can you leave the notes there? I’ll see you at class next week.” I tilt my head toward my now empty booth, and she nods, looking shocked at my dismissal. But right now, the only person I care about is the one who just bolted out of here. “Thanks,” I call out over my shoulder as I run out of the diner.

Is Ashley jealous?

And why is that so thrilling if so?

Please be jealous, baby. Even if you have no clue how off-base you are.

Ashley

Fuck, fuck, fuck. How could I be so stupid? I’m so confused.

The way he looks at me and those damn breadcrumbs he’s giving me… I stayed up all night, analyzing everything, asking myself if Trent Manning is still in love with me. I hate the hope that bloomed in my chest at the thought.

But I guess this is the universe’s way of telling me to get fucked. The memory of the first-time pure dread seeped into my veins regarding that girl runs through my mind and makes me nauseous.

I see Luca peek around the corner, following me. “Please give me a minute.”

He nods, and I couldn’t be more thankful for a bodyguard who treats me like my own human. I just need to catch my breath.

Trent told me he was studying at the campus coffee shop until I could meet him at the hotel tonight. I have been missing him like crazy this week, and I know it's coming soon. Soon, I won’t be allowed to go anywhere without a guard. I haven’t told Trent, but my mom told me she overheard my father talking to Gio, and the proposal is probably going to happen in the next six months. It makes me want to vomit. I used to think I would do anything to keep my family safe, but the more I fall in love with Trent, the more I worry losing him will kill me slowly.

We both know it’s coming, and we chose to keep doing this, even with the knowledge that it could never go further than stolen moments. But the quicker we approach the day that will officially change everything, the more uncertain I am about how I'm going to walk away from him.

My steps quicken as I near the coffee shop, knowing he will be excited by the surprise. He hates only getting to see me inside the four walls of our hotel room.

At the sight of him sitting at the table across from a beautiful girl with auburn hair, my stomach drops. She laughs at something he says, mesmerized by the way he bites his pencil and then tucks it behind his ear. It feels like an out-of-body experience watching another woman looking at the man you love with big heart eyes. She’s pretty, most likely extremely smart, just like Trent, and definitely not promised to a Mafia heir like me. It would be so easy for her to be his. They could go on dates and trips anytime they want to. He could take her home to meet his parents, and he could go to her house without risking his life. They’d have it all.

I almost turn around and leave. But then he looks up at me, and the biggest smile takes over his face. He grabs his books and literally runs out the door.

“What are you doing here, baby?” he asks on a breath, dropping his books on the bench beside where I’m standing before picking me up and twirling me around.

I push down my insecurities and wrap my arms around him tighter. “I wanted to surprise you. I was able to sneak out early. They had an event tonight, not just a meeting, so fewer eyes on me.”

“Even better.” He sits me down and picks his things back up. Looking at his phone, he says, “It’s after four, so we can check in.” I can feel the excitement wafting off him. I lean up on my tiptoes, kissing him passionately. I know we are being sloppy with the PDA, but I can’t seem to care.

“I can’t wait to lick every inch of you,” he growls in my ear. I bite my lip, his words causing goosebumps to scatter across my skin. The anticipation of having his tongue on my body has my imagination running wild.

Trent takes my hand in his, and we start walking across campus. “I’ve missed you so much this week.”

“Missed you more,” I say, kissing his knuckles, trying to ignore that niggling feeling. “Lottie called… A group of their friends are going out to Nori Beach for spring break, and she was asking if I thought I could sneak away for a weekend.”

“You know I’m there. I would kill for more than a night with you. Maybe you can officially meet my parents that weekend.”

I’m not sure that’s the best idea, but I don’t say it out loud.

His phone beeps, and I shamelessly sneak a peek.

Amelia

Damn, you left quickly.

“Shit. That was kinda fucked up. I saw you and literally ran out on my study partner.”

Not fucked up at all, in my opinion. I internally shake my head. I’m being so selfish today, and I hate myself for it.

Me

Sorry about that. Have a good weekend. See you next week in class.

“Who was she?” The words spill out before I can stop them .

“That’s Amelia. We have three classes together, so we’ve been studying once a week. Sometimes a few others join in too.”

Amelia

Is that your girlfriend?

“She seems pretty comfortable to ask you that?”

Trent hesitates for a second, likely picking up on my jealousy. “We are nothing more than friends.”

I scoff. “You might want to tell her that.”

“Baby, really?” He lets out a little chuckle, stopping us. When he looks at my face, his falls. “Wait, you’re serious?” Pulling me into him, his eyes search mine. “I know our situation isn’t ideal, but I promise you, there is no one else for me. I am completely yours, Ashley Castrovinci.”

I’m such an asshole. He never makes me question his feelings. I’m the reason we can’t be together the way we truly want to be. I’ve even given him an easy out, and he wouldn’t take it; how dare I question him?

He takes his phone back out and types out a text. Tilting his cell in my direction, Trent shows me his response to her question.

Me

Yes, it is. Sorry, next time I’ll introduce you guys.

“I’m sorry, I’m being selfish, but seeing you with her. I know it would be so much easier if you let yourself fall for someone like her. And…it messed with my head.”

“I don’t want easy. I want you.”

My heart skips a beat at his words and my stomach dips the moment his lips descend on mine.

“Ash, wait.” Trent’s voice pulls me from my thoughts as he grabs my arm, trying to turn me around. I sling my purse at him, the contents falling all over the alley surrounding us.

“She was bringing me some papers from a study group I missed because I attended the gala the other night.”

“How could you bring her here?” I say, holding myself back from shouting. Pointing inside to her, tears shine in my eyes from my emotions being all over the place. “Her! To our place?” My bottom lip quivers, and I fucking hate it.

His face falls, and I know he is seeing how bad this is making me feel right now. “Baby, it’s not like that.”

Trent’s tender voice and hearing him calling me baby almost has me falling to my knees. But then I remember the man hired by my mafioso husband stands only feet away. I press a finger to my lips and look toward where Luca went to wait for me.

Trent doesn’t seem worried, but he does lower his voice. “I promise she was just dropping off the papers. To be honest, I didn’t want her coming to my place and knowing where I live now.”

Okay, I kinda like that answer. But still, why her…Why is she still around? Did more develop between them when they were studying in Europe? She was a year ahead of him in undergrad. A sickening thought enters my head.

“How convenient that you guys are back in school together again? I bet you’ve stayed in touch with her this whole time.” I need to know if he will confirm what his brother alluded to.

He shakes his head vigorously. “No. I was as surprised as you to see her on the first day of class. She took her time taking the MCAT and didn’t start med school until this August. ”

Trent reaches for me, but I take a step back, not caring thatmy shit is scattered all over the ground at the moment, even as some sketchy people walk by.

“Ash, there was never anything between me and her. Not then, not now. I promise you, on everything.” He leans down, starting to pick up my belongings and put them back in my purse.

“I hated her then, just like I hate her now.” I whisper the honesty before I can stop myself. “She can have you, fully and freely, and I can’t.” A tear finally slides down my face as he stands back up and wipes it with his thumb. His simple touch sends goosebumps all over my body.

“That wasn’t true then, and it isn’t true now. She can’t have me fully and freely.” He interlaces his fingers in mine and continues. “Not when you still own me completely.”

My heart does a somersault, warmth spreading across my chest. This man has always turned my brain to complete mush.

Luca peeks around the corner once more. “We need to wrap this up, Ashley.”

“Give me one more minute,” I call back, surprised he’s allowing this. He must trust Trent since he’s a doctor. I think back to the other night when he let Trent close the door behind him to come in and check out my ankle. At the time, I just chalked it up to him feeling safe since Nori was in there, but maybe Luca is different than my other guards have been, and he will truly allow me to live a little and give me the privacy I deserve.

Trent and I both lean down to pick up the rest of my belongings, and that’s when I see the metal shaft barely peeking out from the back of his pants. My breath catches at the sight, head rearing back.

“Trent, why the fuck are you carrying a gun?”

“For protection,” he answers calmly, almost too calmly. I see the way he’s assessing me, trying to decipher what I’m thinking.

I stare at him, so many thoughts running through my head.

An idea that’s been looming in my subconscious rushes back to the surface. I know my brother looked out for Trent all those years ago, mainly for my safety as well. After that night in the hotel, when Micah came to warn us about Junior, I interrogated him about how he and Trent knew one another. He didn’t go into much detail, but he did admit he knew and worked with Trevor as well. But in the commotion the other night at the gala, the way they communicated…it was almost like there was something even deeper going on.

He must see the worry on my face. “Please, just come on Friday. I’ll explain everything.”

“Who are you now, Trent?” I ask, straightening up, just as Luca walks around the corner.

“Yours, always,” he whispers with one last searing look into my eyes before he walks away.

Trent glances back one more time before he steps out of the alley. I stand there with my mouth dropped open, heart racing, confusion from all his confessions slowly morphing my sliver of hope into a field of dandelions.

Hope for the future.

I allowed myself to wish on that life once upon a time, and it brought me to the hell I’m currently living in, dreaming about the heaven only one person has ever made me feel.

Sometimes I think not knowing what it's like to be his would be easier.