Thirteen

A fter round two, we finally ordered room service as fuel, and now we’re lying on the bed, legs tangled together. I’m gently rubbing Ashley’s back, and as perfect as this moment is, I know we need to discuss the ugly side of our situation too.

Her next statement proves that even more. “I wish we could lay like this every night. You and me. No more hiding, no one standing in our way.”

In our own home, in our own bed.

“Speaking of that… I want to fill you in on what I’m working on with The Saints regarding Junior.”

She adjusts her upper body, so she can see my face without untangling our legs.

“We know Junior is behind the rising fentanyl overdoses here in the city recently. So, our mission is proving his connection to the other heads of the Cosa Nostra.”

“Do you think they will actually care?” she asks curiously .

“Yes, rising death rates look bad for drug trades and sales. People love drugs, but not at the risk of dying for most. This is why he was called to Italy early.”

“I assumed there was something more to his story. He never really told me why he was leaving early, but it's not like he would tell me the truth anyway.”

“He’s quickly made a bad name for himself, just like his father did. But that helps us because he doesn’t have a lot of allies,” I say, tracing my fingertips along her arm.

“Yeah, a lot of people seem to want his head on a platter. Including me.” She huffs the last part, and hearing another confirmation that she wants him dead as much as I do just adds fuel to my fire.

“My boss, Nico, is working hard while Junior is away to make more of the Cosa Nostra aware of his dealings. The hope is, by the time he returns from Italy, we’ll have enough support from the mafia that if we kill him, it will be as a favor to them.”

“Kill him?” she asks, but not with concern…with envy. My mind conjures up a vision of Ashley digging a knife into his heart with a smile on her face. Not going to lie…it's sexy as fuck.

“Yes… They can push him out of the mafia, but he will still be a problem. Plus, if he’s dead and gone, I don’t have to worry about him hurting you.”

“Who is going to kill him or have him killed? And what if it doesn’t go as planned?” Her second question strikes a nerve because, of course, that weighs on my mind every day, but I shut that shit down. It has to work. He has to die. For her.

“Junior will die one way or another. I’m going to kill him myself. I want to watch the life drain from his body for what he has done to you.” Nico and my brother know this as well. Once I filled them both in on the marks I found on Ashley’s neck, they knew it was a done deal, and I deserved the kill.

She shifts her body on top of mine, propping her head up on her hands to keep us at eye level. My heart stutters with the change in position. We used to lie together like this so many Friday nights, dreaming of an alternate life. It seemed impossible back then, but not anymore.

“I can’t say the sound of that doesn’t weirdly turn me on, but it’s also still strange hearing you talk about killing a man and knowing that you are every bit serious and capable of doing so.” She bites her lip with a sexy smirk.

Serious. Capable. And so fucking ready to end him.

Her expression turns grave, and she rests one of her hands over my thudding heart. “Are you sure this is the lifestyle you want, Trent? I can’t help but feel like you’ve given up all your dreams because of me.”

I encase her face in my palms, making sure her eyes are on mine. “I am one hundred percent sure. There is nothing, and I mean nothing, I want more in this life than you. And if the last three years have taught me anything, being without you is no life for me. I still get to be a doctor, just in a different capacity. Plus, it’s kind of cool being a badass who can protect my girl.”

“Just promise me you’ll be careful. This can’t all be for nothing.”

“I promise. I didn’t go through all of this not to be with you in the end. But your safety is most important to me,” I say, tucking a piece of her messy sex hair behind her ear.

Her brow furrows. “I know you can’t tell me everything, but what was Europe like? Did you have to go through a lot to become a Saint?”

I wondered when these questions would come, and I made up my mind a long time ago I wouldn’t keep anything from Ashley in regard to The Saints, unless it was for her own safety.

“As much as I hated leaving, Europe was good for me. I was going crazy missing you, but nothing felt like home there, which, in a weird way, helped. I was so out of my element, but it allowed me to grow and focus on what I had gone there to do.”

“Which was to become a Saint?” she asks, but it sounds more like a statement.

I nod. “Yes, I wanted to be a man who could protect you. So, I learned how to use every gun known to mankind and how to win in a knife fight. I trained in Jiu Jitsu and Muay Thai too, all while still getting my undergrad.”

That smirk is back on her face as her eyes sear into mine. “So you planning to challenge Nox at Greyson and Lottie’s engagement party?” she asks, regarding my cousin’s best friend who is currently fighting in the UFC.

I let out a loud chuckle at that. Using my thumb, I pull down her bottom lip, and she nips me gently. “If you want to see me in action, I’ll do it for you, Doll. Challenge him to a fight on the sand and all.”

“That’d be hot. But in all seriousness, Lottie was telling me about Emerson teaching a self-defense class for women, and it got me thinking about how much I need a refresher in that.” Her voice is confident, but I see the sadness creep back onto her face, and it makes my whole-body ache .

“I’m so sorry that I didn’t know sooner what he was putting you through. Honestly, before I hated the thought of you with him, I was blind with jealousy over the fact that maybe you were slowly falling for him and forgetting about me, but knowing he was hurting you all along and you were having to live in that hell hurts so much worse.” My chest constricts at the thought of all of this. “I’m sorry so many of the men in your life have failed you, including me.”

She shakes her head vigorously. “Don’t say that. You have never failed me.” Ashley reaches up, placing a reassuring palm on my cheek. “Neither has my brother. I intentionally kept him in the dark. I was worried for his life too.”

I cover her hand with mine.

“Nori boy hasn’t let me down either. I still can’t believe you had a hand in that.” She smiles, pressing a sweet kiss on my lips.

“Yeah, didn’t you wonder why he refrained from chewing my leg off the first time I came into your space?”

She chuckles at that. “It did kind of freak me out how he reacted to you. More so because I was trying to cloak myself in a tough exterior, and I realized that if Nori could read right through me to my true feelings, then you probably could too.”

“And what are those true feelings?” I tease.

Ashley’s blue eyes bore into mine as she answers without a flicker of hesitation. “That I’m still hopelessly in love with you.”

My heart dips at her admission, breath catching at hearing those words from her lips again, and I return my own. “My love for you knows no bounds. Every breath, I breathe it for you and because you exist. Some people may call that co- dependent, but the day I fell for you, there was no choice in the matter, and I wouldn’t want it any other way.”

Her eyes gloss with tears, and I pull her body on top of mine, holding her tight. “You set my world on fire, and I’m about to burn down the world you’ve been forced into. Like a phoenix, you are going to rise from the ashes and find the light in the darkness, like you always have.”

She kisses my chest before snuggling against me. “Let’s burn it down together, baby.”

Ashley

Last night was like a dream I wish I could relive every day. Trent fed me a delicious Parisian-inspired breakfast in bed that ended with round five in the last twelve hours. Unfortunately, that dream quickly dissipated into a nightmare when Trent handed me the wedding ring from the ice bucket as Luca texted that he was downstairs.

Reality hit hard that the evening was only temporary.

But for the first time in a long time, I have things to look forward to. We finally reconnected fully, and knowing Trent’s plans makes the biggest difference in lifting my spirits. My hell is only temporary; I have faith in that now more than ever.

Luca interrupts my thoughts, holding his cell phone over his shoulder. “Trent wants to talk to you.”

I grab the phone, chuckling. “Miss me already?”

“You know I do. But actually, I called with an invitation.”

That piques my interest. “Oh yeah…where to? ”

“My brother extended the invite to Masqued this Friday for their annual Halloween party.”

The place where it all started.

“That sounds fun. But doesn’t Trevor only get one invite?”

“Nah, this is one of the events that extends to non-members, but it's RSVP and invite only. So, if you want, I was going to have him include us in his headcount.”

My brain is already flowing with the perfect outfit coming together, giddiness making me jittery. “If Luca is good with taking me, then I’d love to go with you…but only on one condition.”

“Uh huh, and what’s that?” he asks playfully.

“It involves you in face paint and green hair. Just wear a shirt this time. I don’t want to fight the ladies off,” I tease.

I can picture the smirk on his face as he says, “I’ll see what I can do, Doll.”

“Okay, we are pulling up. I know Nori is going to be excited to see me. Luca said he was whining this morning, walking around and looking for me.”

“It will be the three of us soon enough.” The sound of his voice as he makes that declaration is filled with a longing I’m all too familiar with. My stomach swoops.

I wish soon enough was today, but until then, I will enjoy the next few weeks of freedom without Junior.

When we’re parked, I run into the house, up to my sewing room, where I know Nori is snuggling on his plush throne.

“Hey, big boy,” I say, plopping down on the floor right where he greets me with kisses. “I missed you too, buddy. I think Luca is starting to like you a lot. We may have to get you a girlfriend and let her live with him. What do you think?”

He buries his head into my lap, enjoying my baby talk. We have had many one-sided conversations over the years, and I wouldn’t trade him for the world.

“I’m going to get us out of here, boy.” I rub his head, moving to a stack of sewing material I have in the corner of the room. Digging into the bottom box, I pull out the black flip phone in the bottom. I have checked it every day for the last few months, but only recently has the text started becoming more frequent.

There are two messages waiting:

(212) 555-3667

I need to see you this week.

(212) 555-3667

Call me when you are alone, I have an idea.