15. Weird Gray Area

FIFTEEN

WEIRD GRAY AREA

ONE DAY LATER

Dessa

A bead of sweat slides down my forehead and I wipe it away with my forearm. This is worse than losing my phone. I continue to tear apart my entire townhome, searching for my notebook of drinks. My drink recipes are like a window into my soul at that moment. Losing it is equivalent to losing a part of myself. Currently, distress signals are blaring. Flares have been shot. All is lost.

Collapsing onto the stool at my kitchen island, I rest my elbows on the counter and drop my head in to my hands. What did I do with it last night? That's years and years of work and right now it's missing. Sure, I have the majority of the recipes memorized and Rylee and Lach can help fill in the missing pieces since I've used most of them at Porter's for the Drink of the Week, so starting from scratch wouldn't be the end of the world. But even so, I'd rather have my notebook.

I remember I had it yesterday when Garrett was over, but there was a lot of alcohol consumed, and I have no idea where I placed it. Shit. A wave of panic washes over me. Did it accidentally get thrown in the trash? I'd cry. Next to me on the counter, my phone buzzes with an incoming message.

Rylee

I'm on my way. I have your charcoal handbag for you.

Dessa

Thanks. Just come in when you get here. It's unlocked.

Five restless minutes later, Rylee's strolling through the front door. I lean back on the stool. "I'm in here!" She holds up the handbag. "You can set it on the chair."

She sets the bag down and continues her way into the kitchen. With my foot, I push out the stool next to me and she takes a seat.

"Thanks for letting me borrow it. I never imagined I would be the type of person to attend fancy galas, but they mean a lot to Trey and his career. The least I can do is raid your closet for something outside of jeans and t-shirts." Her brows furrow when she takes notice of my destroyed kitchen. "What happened here?"

"I can't find my recipe notebook. I'll have to put the search and rescue mission on pause, though, so I can get ready for the wedding."

With her elbow on the counter, she rests her chin on her hand and twists to face me. "I still can't believe you're going to this wedding."

I groan. "I know. A part of me wonders why I'm doing it. But I think it'll be good. It will show that we're all moving forward." I pick at the edge of my phone case. "I chatted with Tony and briefly met his soon-to-be wife. They stopped by Porter's on their way out of town for the wedding a couple of nights ago."

"And that wasn't awkward?" Her brows raise.

"No. It was good. We're all in the position to be friends again. I've known his family for so many years. It'll be great to see them again, especially his nana."

"The only one you failed to mention is Garrett."

"Yes. The giant elephant in the room wherever he goes."

"What's going on with you two?"

I bite down on my lower lip as I contemplate my answer. Mostly because I don't know the answer. We've fought, kissed, fought, and then drunkenly exchanged orgasms. A part of me is excited Garrett's back in my life. I can have my best friend again, but there's still a giant rift between us I'm not sure we can ever repair. "I'm not really sure. We're in this weird gray area of friends, but friends who've also touched each other's privates." We both laugh. "But we haven't talked it out at all. And honestly, after the past week, I'm tired of talking."

"That's hard to believe coming from you."

"I know." I sigh. "Everything involving Garrett is exhausting right now. I just want things to progress naturally. I mean, it's still complicated with Tony being my ex and Garrett being Tony's brother."

"I'd imagine it would be weird to be with two brothers." She laughs. "Maybe as long as it's not at the same time. "

A rush of warmth spreads across my cheeks. "Yeah, definitely not that." An image of both Tony and Garrett flashes before my eyes, but there's only one I fixate on. I shake my head, forcing the image to disappear like an Etch-a-Sketch. "I know I want to establish the friendship with Garrett and then we can see where it goes from there."

"Do you think that'll be hard with you living here and him living on the West Coast?"

"Now you're getting ahead of yourself. It's only a friendship. Everything else isn't something I need to concern myself with at this moment."

"But you might eventually," she sing-songs.

"I'll deal with it then." If the time comes. He's only been back in my life for one week. In no way am I planning a long-lasting future with him.

Rylee's phone chimes and she checks it. "Oh shit. I have to leave."

"Okay. I should get ready anyway."

"Let me know how everything goes."

"Definitely." I give Rylee a hug and walk her to the front door. After I close it behind her, I race upstairs.

I run my hand down the navy blue bohemian empire waist long-sleeve dress. A collection of necklaces sways back and forth as I rummage through them on the holder until I find the silver knotted pendant necklace. It will pair perfectly with the V-neckline of the dress. I clasp it at the nape of my neck and fluff my hair so it falls over my shoulders. Here goes nothing.

Luckily, the weather is cooperating, and the two-hour drive north goes by quickly. However, I have to question the person who thought it was a good idea to have a wedding in December in Minnesota. I shake my head. I can guarantee I'll pick a warmer month for my wedding or not have it in Minnesota. Shit. Why am I even thinking of getting married? I'm missing a very important key component in order for a wedding to take place. A fiancé. But first I need a boyfriend to turn into a fiancé. At this rate, I'll be pushing fifty by the time I walk down the aisle.

When I'm fifteen minutes away from the venue, snowflakes flutter from the darkening sky. With every second that passes, the flakes grow bigger and fall faster. I ease up on the gas to slow my pace as snow accumulates on the pavement. My fingers grip the steering wheel as I glance at the clock. Shit. I'm going to be that person who walks into the wedding in the middle of the ceremony. As long as it's not right at the "I dos" because that would be awkward as fuck.

The Three Moose Lodge sign comes into view, and I exhale a sigh of relief. Winter driving is not my favorite, even though I've been doing it since I got my driver's license. At the first available spot in the parking lot, I stop and cut the engine. I still can't believe I'm here. Why did I think this was a good idea? I debate turning over the engine and driving back to Harbor Highlands. But Nana's here. And so is Garrett.

I push open the door and step out. My charcoal mid-calf high-heeled boot sinks into the freshly fallen snow. With every step to the front door of the lodge, my boots leave a breadcrumb imprint in the snow just in case I need to bolt out of here.

The property is comprised of a large timber frame main lodge with several hotel-style rooms, but there are also several cabins scattered throughout the woods for a more intimate getaway.

Once inside the lodge, I brush the snow off my shoulders and out of my hair. A large white poster board perched on an easel in the lobby directs me toward the ceremony. My heart pounds in my chest, mimicking my footsteps. I'm unsure if I'm nervous or eager to see Garrett again. Both are a possibility. When I glance up, my breath catches in my throat and I come to a halt. My palms grow clammy as the world around me freezes. All the quiet chatter and soft music around me dissipates. My breath hitches. Standing between the open doors is Garrett, looking hot as sin in a sleek black tuxedo, complete with a vibrant red pocket square. All thoughts of maintaining only a friendship with Garrett are tossed out the window.