Chapter 23

"If your party has all arrived, I'll take your drink order." The server smiles. She has a soft voice and a pixie cut.

"Yes, we'll?—"

"Oh, no, we're waiting on one more!" Bex cuts Spencer off.

The server nods. "I'll come back in a minute to check on you."

Spencer looks at Bex, and while his expression is calm and unchanging, I suspect he's imagining blowing her head up with his mind. He just has that vibe.

"I invited Noah," she says.

My heart stops.

It stops, and everything blanks. No thoughts, no sound, my vision goes white for a split second, and then everything comes rushing back in full force. My pulse revved up, blood coursing through my veins so hard and loud, I feel like I'm vibrating.

I'm sweating. I'm too hot. Everything is loud and throbbing, and I need to get out of here. I need to be anywhere but here.

I didn't want to come out in the first place, Bex had to practically drag me from the couch, force me to shower, and doll me up in one of her dresses and do my makeup.

She doesn't know what's been wrong with me. How could she? I haven't told her about Noah yet. I will. I know I need to. She deserves to know he's a liar and a cheater, but I also know it's going to upset her. And I'm afraid she'll be mad at me.

I was going to do it when Spencer came back, before she went back to stay at Noah and Wood's place. But she decided to stay where I was, much to Spencer's delight.

Anyway, we get to move into our new place on August first, just a week away. So, I've been suffering in silence, trying to hide it. Admittedly, I'm not doing great.

He's all I think about. I miss him. I hate him. But I'm in love with him.

And I absolutely do not want to see him. I don't want him to see me.

I'm breathing too fast. It's too much. I can't.

I scan around the restaurant for the nearest exit. I've got to get out of here.

But it's too late.

Noah's walking toward us. And he's already got his eyes locked on me. He's wearing black on black. Black dress shoes, pants, a fitted black button-up that's snug around his biceps, and a thin black tie that only draws more attention to the tattoos around his throat and up to his razor-sharp jaw.

He's never been more beautiful.

"Hey, guys!" Wood comes from behind him as they reach the table. He's wearing navy slacks, a crisp white shirt that pops off his tan skin, and a gray tie. It's the most dressed up I've ever seen him, yet he still looks casual, effortless, like he's ready for his hundredth weekend in the Hamptons.

Noah sits in the only open seat. Directly across from me. Next to Bex.

I can't breathe.

I also can't look away from him. Heart pounding.

Wood is unfazed that there aren't any other spots at the table. He pulls a chair away from an empty table across the aisle, the legs squeaking across the floor, and adds it to the end of the table.

I keep my gaze focused on the other end of the table. Anywhere but at Noah.

But I can feel his eyes on me.

"Is everyone here now?" Spencer asks with pursed lips.

Bex nods.

"Fantastic," he deadpans, then waves the server back over. He nods toward Macy and says, "She and I will have the cabernet sauvignon."

"I thought you were more of a mojito girl, Mace," Wood butts in.

Spencer darts a glance at Wood with tight lips.

Macy's cheeks darken.

"Do you have a problem, Woodall?" Spencer asks.

"Not at all." Wood looks up to the server with a smile. "Well, I am a mojito girl, and that blueberry mojito sounds wonderful."

The server returns his smile and writes it down then looks at me. My cheeks heat. Surely everyone can tell I want to melt into a puddle and slither away.

His eyes are still on me. Burrowing deeper.

Don't look at him. Don't look at him.

"I'll just have water, thanks."

She goes around the table. Noah gets a gin and tonic. Bex orders a vodka soda. Jake gets a beer, but one of those fancy ones that's supposed to have undertone of caramel and hickory or whatever the fuck.

Our eyes meet. Fuck.

He doesn't say anything, but those eyes say everything. Those eyes that have haunted my dreams since I was a teenager and my nightmares the last week we've been apart. Dark blue, in shadow under heavy brows, sunken and ghostly. He hasn't been sleeping.

I look away, even though the heat from his stare burns on my skin.

"So nice of you, Noah, to join us for our seven o'clock reservation at"—Spencer pulls back the crisply ironed cuff of his shirt to glance at his shiny watch—"twelve past the hour."

"Actually, it was my fault we were late," Wood chimes in, with even more volume and enthusiasm than normal.

"Of course, it was. You've always liked being the center of attention without regard to anyone else around you."

Wood smiles at him in response. "I guess there's more than one way to be a self-centered asshole."

Macy sits with her hands in her lap, staring blankly at the tablecloth.

"I didn't realize you were even invited, Woodall."

"Oh, I invited myself. Isn't this fun?"

No one says anything for a beat. Jake takes a drink of water, the ice in his glass clinking around piercing the silence.

Noah's still cutting me with his eyes.

The drinks arrive at that moment, thank god. I'm regretting not getting alcohol. She starts taking our dinner orders and while Spencer is ordering Macy and himself the salmon—but cooked to no more than one hundred and forty-five degrees and with the white wine butter sauce on the side—Noah leans across the table.

"Liv," he whispers.

I pretend not to hear him.

He knows I did. My pulse is racing. But I keep my head turned and my eyes trained on the server who comes around for my order next.

My voice comes out all weird, and I clear my throat and smile. Smile so you don't cry. I order and hand her the menu, all the while never looking back at Noah.

His tattooed fingers drum on the white tablecloth in my peripheral vision.

Ignore him.

"How was your day, Mace? Did you work today?" Wood asks.

Macy, mid-sip of wine, coughs and puts her drink down to answer. "Um, yes. I assisted with two vaginal births and one of our NICU babies got to go home today. It was a good shift."

"That's amazing. I couldn't do anything like that. I'm not good with blood and needles and stuff." Wood shivers.

"What are you good at these days, Woodall? Partying?" Spencer asks flatly.

"Among other things." Wood smirks.

Bex laughs wildly at something Jake said. I must have missed the joke, though I, admittedly, wasn't paying attention to their conversation.

Keeping my eyes averted from the man sitting across from me—the rich, dark scent of his cologne bringing back memories of twisted bedsheets and roaming lips and hard—I reach for my glass of water.

But my hand smacks the glass, knuckles knocking it over. It crashes to the table, water splashing across the white cloth, ice spilling out to the sound of shrieks and gasps. Everyone is standing. Water drips over the edge onto the floor.

Noah and I reach for the glass at the same time, his fingers brushing my skin instead. I recoil from him, refusing to meet his gaze. The server and another young man come to help with a rag.

"Please, miss, let us take care of it."

I back away, everyone's eyes on me, an overwhelming sob beginning to rise in my chest. Tears brimming to the surface, I turn and dart toward the bathrooms.

Panting, I shut the door to the single-use restroom, turning the bolt, but not hearing the telltale click of the lock. Great. Broken.

Of course, I'm not lucky enough for there to be a window in here. Just walls covered in a dark and moody maroon floral wallpaper. I lean over the sink and stare in the mirror, willing my breathing to slow.

My skin is pale and my stomach churns.

There's a gentle tapping at the door. "Livvy," Noah says from the other side, his voice deep and low and a little strained.

No, no, no.

"Liv, are you okay? Can I talk to you?"

I loved when he called me Liv, and now I can't stand it.

With a soft click, the doorknob starts to rotate.

I rush to the door and snatch it open, letting the door swing wide and hit the wall. Noah's there, arm outstretched, hovering in the dimly lit hall.

"I don't want to talk to you," I say, heart beating wildly, hating how my voice cracks on the you.

He takes a step back, his throat bobbing against the tight collar of his shirt and tie. "I know."

I step past him and back toward the table.

"Livvy, wait?—"

But I don't wait. I won't give him the satisfaction of seeing how much he hurt me. I won't cry. Even as my vision starts to blur and my eyelids sting holding the tears back.

I sit at the table, head high. It's been cleaned up, a new, dry tablecloth put down and a fresh glass of water at my place.

Everyone quiets as I scoot my chair in.

Bex leans in. "Don't worry about it. Are you okay?" she whispers across the table.

"I'm fine."

She sits back and smiles, but it's half-hearted. She exchanges a weary glance with Jake next to her.

Then Noah joins us. Every line of his face hard. His dark brows brooding. Soft lips in a pout. He wraps his tattooed fingers around his gin and tonic and takes a sip. Silently staring at me.

He wants to talk?

Okay.

Let's talk.

Let's put it all out in the open. I'm sure my sister would love to hear about how you took my virginity along with everything else while you were fucking her, too.

Everyone is quiet.

There's an energy in everyone's silence. A buzzing just under the surface.

Bex is sort of bouncing as her eyes shift between Spencer and Jake. Then to Noah.

I fist the thick cloth napkin on my lap.

Noah catches me looking, our eyes meeting for the quickest of seconds. I hate that I can see the longing in his face. I hate that I'm sure it's mirroring mine.

I turn away.

Macy looks at Wood's almost empty mojito while her glass of wine sits full.

Here goes. I'm going to do it. I'm going to tell Noah I found out about him and Bex. Then I'll have to beg her for forgiveness and hope she doesn't hate me.

I take a sip of water first, heart pounding, hand shaking, fingers threatening to drop the slippery glass again.

Jake loudly clears his throat. "I have something to tell you all," he says, straightening. He nods toward Spencer. "It was my brother's idea to come out tonight to celebrate me getting selected for a prestigious position in the oncology department at the hospital. It's been several grueling weeks of interviews and panels."

Spencer raises his wine glass and gives a curt smile.

"But I have another exciting thing to share," he takes a deep breath before he continues. "When I arrived in town, Spencer let me stay with him while I was in limbo, looking for a permanent place. He also specifically said to stay away from this one." Jake points a thumb at Bex who smiles back at him. "So much so, that he said he'd kick me out on my ass if he caught me messing around with her."

"Christ," Spencer mutters under his breath.

"He knows I have a weakness for blondes." Jake beams at Bex, almost blushing.

What is going on?

"Well, I'm sorry, Spence, but I didn't stay away."

What. The. Fuck?

"What?" Spencer's expression is unreadable, though his lips look thinner than normal and he hasn't blinked this whole time.

Macy's face is contorted in confusion.

Noah doesn't seem fazed at all.

Wood stirs his mojito with his straw.

"Anyway," Jake continues, putting his arm around Bex's shoulders. She leans into him. "Now that I have a secure, permanent job and I'm getting my own place, we can finally tell you all that?—"

Bex bounces with a giant grin and cuts in, "We're in love and we're going to move in together!"

Spencer's nostrils flare, but he doesn't say anything.

Wood shouts, "Congrats!" then slurps the rest of his drink.

Spencer stands, throwing his napkin to the table. "Are you fucking kidding me?"

"Wait—what?" Macy tilts her head, her mouth hanging open.

"I know"—Bex makes a cute little cringey face—"I won't be going in on the apartment with you guys." She looks at me apologetically, but I still haven't processed half of what's going on.

"No." Macy shakes her head. "I mean, I thought you were hooking up with Noah."

Jake turns to Bex. "What?"

She shakes her head.

"What?" Noah shouts. "No, we're not hooking up. I'm in love with Livvy."

"WHAT?" Now it's Bex's turn to shout.

Jake and Spencer are up, in each other's face at the other end of the table. Staff is starting to circle us with concerned looks.

Wood asks one of them if he can have another mojito.

"Wait," I say quietly. "You two were never sleeping together?"

"Fuck no! Why would you ever think that?" The pleading in Noah's voice rips a new hole in me.

"Bex told us you were."

Everyone's eyes turn to Bex, except for Jake and Spencer, their voices getting louder and getting more and more stares from staff. A manager comes by and asks if everything is all right. We all smile and nod. Even Spencer gives a tight-lipped smile as he and Jake nod.

After he leaves, Noah turns on Bex, a dark shadow passing over his expression, his chest heaving even as his words come out steady.

"What the fuck is this, Bex?"

"Yeah," Macy chimes in. "Why would you tell us you've been sleeping with Noah if it's a lie?"

Bex's cheeks darken. "We didn't want Spencer to find out about us yet, and I was stressed about the whole pregnancy scare thing and Noah's name was the first one that popped into my head. I didn't think it was a big deal. He's my ex, and exes sometimes hook back up, and I didn't think he was with anyone at the time—" Her eyes widen like what Noah said just dawned on her. "Oh my god, Livvy, is that why you've been so sad and crying all the time?"

I haven't moved, haven't breathed in what feels like minutes. My limbs feel like concrete.

"Fuck! I'm so sorry!" Bex gets up and starts to round the table toward me, but Noah grabs her elbow, stopping her instantly.

"No." The word comes out like a snarl, his eyes almost black. "I'm going to have a word with you later, but right now—" He makes hard eye contact with me. "Right now, Livvy and I are going to go talk. Alone."