Chapter 16

The light is orange behind my eyelids. My cheek is on something soft and warm. Sweet smelling. It rises and falls softly with each of her quiet breaths.

Livvy.

I open my eyes. We're cuddled up under the covers, my head on her chest, her fingers combing lazily through my hair, her head turned from me, reading her book.

Her thick eyelashes flutter in the light and I follow the curve in her pert nose down to her pouty lips, then further to her bare chest, breasts out of the blankets, a perfectly pink nipple inches from my mouth.

I haven't had the chance to properly explore and touch and kiss and lick every inch of her body yet. It's a crime.

I stir against her, tightening my arm around her waist.

She puts her book down. "Morning, you."

"How long was I out?"

With a little smile and a hum, she glances at her phone. "Almost three hours."

"Wow. Guess I needed it. I hardly slept last night."

"What kept you up?"

"You."

"Yeah?"

I nod. A much better reason than what normally keeps me up. She peers down at me, a little crease between her eyebrows, her green eyes golden in the light, her mouth slightly downturned.

She knows. She knows what keeps me up at night. She knows about the accident. My family. So few people in my life know about it—because that's how I want it—but the fact that she knows fills my chest with a lightness I can't describe.

That sinking rock in my gut, a feeling I've become so accustomed to, isn't there. It's gone. No longer weighing me down. No secrets.

She knows, and it's overwhelming and freeing and terrifying and wonderful at the same time.

"Can I stay here with you tonight?" I ask.

"Yes."

I grin, noticing the pulse in her neck speeding up. I kiss her right there, at her pulse point. The prettiest sigh escapes her lips.

She smells like strawberries, and I want to taste her again.

Ignoring my throbbing cock, I nuzzle down, brushing my lips along her jaw.

I press light kisses down to her collarbone. She whimpers, and tiny goosebumps rise on her skin in a trail behind me. I keep kissing as I go. Lower.

Just as I reach the top swells of her breasts, her breaths becoming more rapid, I look up at her.

Her cheeks are flushed.

"Is this okay?" I ask, my voice coming out more strained than I expect.

She nods.

I watch her eyes roll back as my mouth meets that soft skin. I kiss her breast and move down to lick her hardened nipple. She trembles beneath me as I suck tenderly on it.

At the same time, I trace my hand over her hip bone and down her leg, feeling the goosebumps on her skin in my wake. I slide my hand up, fingertips light on her skin, between her thighs.

She gasps when my middle finger slips between her lips. She's warm and soft, already wet and pliable for me.

A vehicle rolling up the driveway, gravel grinding under the tires, breaks this little light-filled bubble we're in.

"Shit." She throws her head back against the headboard.

I let her nipple slip out between my lips, glistening and now dark pink.

"Do you think they'll wonder where we are?" I ask.

"I think my sister will come barging in here first thing to make sure I'm still breathing." Her tummy and breasts bounce a little as she lets out a light laugh.

"Guess we better get dressed, then. I'm not in the mood to get punched in the face today."

I sit up and stretch my neck. But I don't want to leave her bed. I don't want to get dressed.

Part of me wants her to shrug and say, eh, let Bex see us and then assure me Bex won't punch me in the face for corrupting her little sister (she will).

But Livvy smiles and nods. "Yeah, that'd probably be best. I mean, with you being exes, it could get…complicated. It might be better if I talk to her on my own."

"Right, yeah, of course." Complicated.

Obviously, I know Bex and I dated. I haven't forgotten about that—but it was so long ago, I don't really think about it. I wasn't thinking it'd be that complicated, but maybe she's right. I don't want to cause a strain in their relationship, especially for something that is so brand new. Too new to even call it a thing.

Maybe Livvy doesn't want this to be anything more than casual fun. After all, she's young. She's been dating and exploring her options. I've been pining over her through my phone screen for months, but as far as I know, her feelings for me could be only weeks or days or hours old.

And didn't she tell me she's been trying to get over a crush she's had for years? I irrationally hate that guy. No, this thing between us is new for her.

I clear my throat. "You don't have to tell her anything right away. There's not much to even tell her yet, right? We can wait until we see what this is between us." I nod reassuringly, trying to keep my smile from falling.

She blinks, then nods, too. "Right."

"Right." I keep nodding.

Right. Good.

An entire day of shared glances and secret touches and looking for every opportunity to steal her away into a corner or hallway or closet and kiss her senseless. Even if it's only for half a minute. Those seconds are giving me life.

We're sitting around the fire again on the beach, though conversation is a bit more subdued. It's the last night here.

I sip my beer as the flames dance, flicker, and crackle against the black sky. The fire is warm, but the breeze coming off the lake is cool.

In my periphery, I see Livvy shivering and rubbing her arms. I have nothing to offer her, and it's killing me I can't just slide up close to her and put my arm around her.

I've never envied people in relationships, but I find myself irrationally furious with Spencer and how he has his girlfriend sitting right next to him and yet he doesn't put his arm around her. He doesn't hold her hand or squeeze her thigh or give her forehead kisses.

Forehead kisses?

I don't even know who I am anymore. I'm never like this. I'm always the one to be a little at a distance. Don't fall too hard. Don't fall too far. Don't lose anyone else. Don't get hurt.

But I want to give Liv forehead kisses. And hold her hand. And fall at her feet and give her anything and everything she wants.

I push the intrusive thought of her lying only a few feet away with blue lips out of my mind and lean over toward her.

"Do you want to go inside?"

Livvy turns to me, eyes bright, with a small smile, the fire glowing warm on her face.

Anything for her.

She nods. "Yeah, I think I do want to go in."

"We're turning in, too." Spencer stands. "I want to get in an early morning run before the drive tomorrow. Jake, if you're running with me, it might be a good idea to stop drinking and turn in, too."

Jake raises his beer bottle to his brother with a smirk. "Nah, I'm on vacation. I'll be sleeping at five o'clock, but you enjoy your run."

Spencer purses his lips and looks at Macy until she stands, then walks off.

Macy waves at us with a tight-lipped smile and then scurries to catch up with Spencer already well on his way to the house.

"I'll come with you," Bex says, holding her bottle of beer up to the light. It's over halfway full still.

"Oh, no. No, really you don't have to. I'm fine, I promise. Stay and have fun." Livvy glances at me then back to her sister.

"Are you sure?" Bex's gaze flicks quickly toward Jake.

"I'm sure."

"Okay. Let me know if you need anything." Bex tips back her beer and I grab Livvy's hand just as she stands, brushing sand off her legs.

"Meet me at the hot tub?" I whisper.

She bites her lip and nods quickly before retreating into the house.

I wait a few minutes before I get up as well.

"Bro, it's still early. Come on!" Wood tries to hand me another beer, but I shake him off.

I'm already wearing my swim shorts, so I go around to the hot tub. It's down a cobblestone path along the side of the house, surrounded by thick greenery and evergreen trees. Through the bushes on one side is the light from the kitchen, and through the trees on the other side are hints from the fire on the beach. Otherwise, it's completely private.

I take off my shirt and get in the hot water, looking up at the stars while I wait.

"Hi." Her voice is soft. She's standing on the path in her black bathing suit, hair tied up, towel over her arm, biting her bottom lip.

"Hey," I say. The sight of her kills all thoughts in my brain. There is only her. Standing in front of me.

She steps down into the tub across from me and sits in the water. "I didn't know if I should wear my suit or…not." She looks up at me from under her lashes.

The idea makes my pulse quicken. She has an exhibitionist side. The second she posed nude for me I should have known.

"You like my eyes on you?"

"Yes," she says.

"It turned you on, when you posed nude for me."

"Yes."

I love the idea that her little pink pussy was wet for me the whole time I was drawing her and struggling with my own hard-on.

"You like the idea of being watched? The risk? The possibility of being caught?"

Her throat bobs, and she licks her lips, parting them, her breathing becoming rapid and shallow. She nods. "Yes."

"You want me to pull down the straps of your swimsuit and for someone to see your perfect tits bouncing while I fuck you here in this hot tub."

Her mouth opens in a perfect little ‘O' shape, her cheeks darkening. "You think my tits are perfect?"

I let out a hard laugh. "Yes. They are."

She smiles, but then she's worrying that bottom lip again.

"Don't worry, Liv, I said I'd take it slow." I won't fuck her. Yet. "Come here." I reach for her, and she comes to me, wrapping her arms around my neck. I encircle her waist and kiss her lips.

Her soft, little hums as I suck on her lips and stroke her tongue with mine make my cock swell. Needy bastard.

I break the kiss and she whimpers in protest, her eyes half-lidded, lips swollen.

Taking her face in my hands, I kiss her nose and then her forehead. "Turn around, sit on my lap."

She leans her back against my chest, wiggling her perfect ass against my erection.

"Careful," I say in a low tone.

"I'm not doing anything," she says in a light voice.

"Mmhmm."

She smirks, looking at me over her shoulder.

"I've been thinking about you all day. Wanting you, all day," I whisper into her ear.

She hums as I squeeze her tighter to me.

"Wanting to make you come again. You come so pretty, Liv. And the sounds you make?—"

"The sounds I make? Are they okay?"

"They're perfect," I say.

I press my lips to the spot on her neck behind her jaw. She leans back against my shoulder, giving me more access to trail kisses down to her collarbone. Relaxed.

Under the water I rub her thighs, slowly making my way up. She spreads her legs as I slide my hands between them, and just that small move makes my cock pulse.

I rub over her bathing suit first, until she's squirming on my lap and breathing heavily.

My cock between her ass cheeks is almost painfully hard and throbbing as she arches against it.

But her pleasure comes first. Always.

I slip two fingers under her suit. She's lush and warm. Soft. She purrs against me as I touch her. Slow, long strokes at first, side to side, just like she touched herself earlier. Every time I touch that spot, I elicit pretty little moans from her lips.

Dipping lower, I press my fingertip just inside her opening. She stills. Her heavy breathing stops.

"You okay?"

"Yes," she says, breathing again.

"Is this okay?" I push my finger inside a little more, wondering if anyone has ever touched her here.

She nods again, gripping my thigh.

"Am I hurting you?"

"No."

"More?" I ask.

"Yes."

I slide my finger in to the knuckle, massaging circles over her clit with my thumb.

"Oh," she gasps, closing her eyes.

I kiss her cheek while I continue the slow thrusting and rubbing. Her pussy clenches around me, pulling me in deeper. My needy girl wants more.

"Two fingers?"

"Mmhmm." She breathes.

She stretches easily around my two fingers as I circle her clit. I keep the pace steady until she's pushing back on my hand, grinding against it, urging for more pressure. And I give it to her. She's writhing.

"My greedy girl wants to come?"

"Yes," she pants. "Please, Noah."

She throws her head back, completely open to me, trusting that I'll take care of her. And I will. I've got her. She's safe anchored against me. Safe to focus only on the pleasure I'm giving her. She knows I'll read every little moan and change in breath, arch in her back and thrust against my palm.

She knows I'll make it good for her, and I won't let up until she reaches that peak and spills over the edge. I whisper in her ear how beautiful she is, how perfect, how she's my good girl.

Her hard little clit pulses under my finger and with an exhale she cries out and shudders in my arms, contracting on my fingers inside her. I hold her while she falls apart, out of breath, spasms coursing through her body.

After a moment, her rising chest eases. I kiss her temple and she lets out a quiet, contented sigh before she twists around and kisses me hard on the mouth.

She pulls back, eyes lust-filled, pupils dilated.

"Can I?" She grips my thigh under the water before sliding her hand along the length of my erection. She smirks as she moves her hand up, up, and then down into my swim trunks.

The instant she touches my cock all thoughts leave my body. I am nothing in this moment but hers. All hers. I nod dumbly.

I stand and she tugs on my shorts, pulling them half-way down my thighs. My cock springs out, jutting straight at her and the little gasp she makes at the sight of it makes it jump and my balls tighten.

She looks up at me and licks her lips. Fuck.

"Tell me… Tell me how you like it."

I groan. "Fuck. Anything you do will be perfect. Trust me, I'll like it."

She moves in tentatively and presses her soft lips to the tip of me. Then she kisses it again, this time with an open mouth, her tongue snaking out to lick the underside of my shaft. She looks up, as if asking for approval.

"Perfect," I say. She's perfect.

Her tongue is warm as she licks the length of me. Fuck. Her hands soft as she holds onto my thighs to steady herself. She sucks in the head. Jesus. Then takes me all the way in. My eyes roll back. I'm dizzy. Overcome.

"Go slow," I say, already knowing I'm not going to last long.

Not only has it been a while since I've gotten head, but the way she's looking up at me, with those big eyes, all innocent and beautiful, with my cock in her mouth—the sight is sending me. It's too much.

I can't look away. She moves up and down on me, pausing to lick or kiss before sucking again, harder then softer, gauging my reactions.

"Good girl. Good fucking girl."

Looking at her, thinking about her, I'm already tensing all over, my cock pulsing with the need to climax between her perfect lips. I could hold it off by thinking about something else. But I don't want to think about anything else, picture anything else but her.

She closes her eyes and squeezes me at the base, humming when I hit the back of her throat. I grunt, white-knuckling the sides of the hot tub, trying to hold still, to hold back.

But I can't help it. She has me moaning. I thrust my hips in rhythm with her and she starts to bob faster.

"Fuck. Liv, I can't—I'm going to—if you don't want it—" Shit.

She locks her eyes on mine and sucks harder, no intention of letting me finish anywhere else.

It unravels me.

I erupt instantly.

Her eyes are on me as I convulse into the whimpering, vulnerable, shivering mess she's made me. She doesn't shy away, milking every last drop I have to offer.

There's a rustle from the pathway. A scraping of branches. The thwap of sandals on cobblestones.

Livvy pulls back, scampering to the other side of the hot tub while I hastily pull my shorts up just as Wood emerges from around a bush, towel over his shoulder, beer in hand.

"Oh, hey, guys! I didn't know you were in here. Sweet." He hangs his towel and climbs in with a smile and a sigh as he sinks into the hot water.

He takes a sip of beer then looks around. At me then her. And back. His eyes shifting. It's quiet.

I keep my expression cool, but I shoot him a look when his lopsided smile starts to appear, a look that says don't fucking say it.

"Well…" Livvy's smile is unnaturally cheery. "I'm pretty warm. And tired. I think I'm going to head in now. Night."

"Night," Wood says, waving as she grabs her towel and dashes away. He turns back to me, tilting his chin, biting back a grin.

"Don't say it."

He holds his hand up and shrugs. "I'm not saying anything."

"You look like you want to say something."

"Nope. Not me."

"Right."

Wood starts to tell me how they saw a bear in the woods on their hike today and how I should have been there. He already told the story around the fire when we were eating dinner.

"Anyway, you should have been there, bro."

I grunt.

"I know, I know. You're not into hiking. And the bear definitely wasn't as pretty as Livvy."

"Careful."

"Hey, I'm the one always telling you to go meet people, make connections, find your person. I'm happy for you."

"But you're not saying anything."

"Nope."

I was going to wait longer to follow Livvy up, but fuck that. "I'm heading in."

"Have fun," Wood says with a wink.

"It's not like that."

"Mmhmm." He smiles as he brings the beer bottle to his lips. I check him with my shoulder on my way out.

I go up to my room and change, then pad down the hall to Livvy's. There's no answer when I knock softly on her door.

I turn the knob slowly then crack the door open. "Liv?"

Silence.

I peek in. She's curled on her side under the covers, the moonlight caressing her figure.

After closing the door and locking it behind me, I go to her. Quietly, I lift back the blanket and slide in behind her. I tuck my legs into the crook of hers and wrap my arm around her middle.

She wiggles back against me and entwines her arm with mine, clasping it to her chest with a contented sigh.

I press my lips to her shoulder, inhaling her scent. "Go back to sleep."

It's weird, waking up when the sun's already out and realizing I slept more than a few hours uninterrupted. I reach over to Liv, my hand skimming over the soft sheets. She's not there but her spot is still warm.

Birds flit past the window, chirping.

Hard banging on the door jolts me upright.

"Get up, Sleeping Beauty! We leave in twenty minutes!" Wood's voice booms through the door.

"Fuck off."

He chuckles. "Knew you were in there."

Shit.

Livvy's scent lingers on the sheets and in the room, but she and her stuff are all gone. So I drag my ass out of bed and pack up my stuff in my room.

Wood and Livvy are already at his SUV, the back hatch open, loading up as I carry my bag down the front porch steps.

Livvy glances at me over her shoulder. She smiles at me, rivaling the sun. Her eyes brighten, color coming to her cheeks. Just the sight of her and my heart picks up speed, and a rush of euphoria washes over me. I could float off the ground like a hot air balloon with a goofy-ass smile on its face.

I'm in fucking trouble.

Macy rushes up to me, grimacing with a deep crease between her brows.

"Did you see Bex in there?"

I shake my head. "Nope. Sorry."

"Son of a biscuit!" She runs past me into the house.

On the other side of the driveway, Spencer is standing next to his car in his loafers and Oxford shirt, one hand on his hip, glaring at his Rolex watch on the other.

Oh, shit! I left my watch by the hot tub last night.

"Ayo! Let's hit the road." Wood grabs my bag and throws it in the back.

I hold the car door open for Livvy and help her in, not passing up the opportunity to hold her hand and give it a little squeeze as I do.

I'm giddy over holding this girl's hand. The fuck is wrong with me?

"I'll be right back. I forgot something," I say, backpedaling and then jogging around the side of the house along the cobblestone path.

It should be right around?—

I round a bush toward the hot tub. There's a gasping sound and a grunt and thump. But my feet are moving faster than my brain can comprehend the noises.

Bex is bent over the side of the hot tub, tits spilling out of her dress, nipple piercings on display, her skirt flipped up while Jake pounds into her from behind. The slap of skin on skin echoes around the alcove.

"Shit!" Jake stumbles backward, pulling up his pants and fumbling with his belt.

"Fuck." Bex stands up, fixing her dress and smoothing down her hair.

And now we're all standing here, completely normal, like nothing was just happening and two of us aren't sweaty and out of breath.

"Sorry, guys. I just came to get"—I point over to where my watch is sitting on the edge of the tub—"that."

"Oh yeah, no problem." Jake hands me my watch with a jovial smile.

"Thanks. They're, uh, looking for you."

They nod and I turn to leave.

"Hey, Noah?" Bex blinks up at me with her sweet blue eyes. "Will you not tell anyone about this?"

Right.

What's another secret?