Chapter 10

10

“ O h, damn it.” Esme lifted her knitting needles and squinted at the blob of fabric that dangled off of them. “I think I dropped a stitch.”

A peal of laughter rolled out from her laptop speakers. “That’s the fifth one today, Mom,” Holly chortled, with the slight Brisbane twang she’d picked up from her years in Australia and her sun-bleached blonde curls bouncing. She held up her own project, a crocheted bralette top in rainbow pastels that Esme was annoyed to see was already over halfway done after only two hours. “You sure you don’t want me to teach you how to crochet instead?”

“That’s never worked, any time you’ve tried, remember?” Esme peered more closely at the thing she was knitting, which was allegedly a “dishcloth” but which she was privately convinced was a demon sent straight from hell to torment her. “I should have taken up those diamond puzzle things.”

Holly threw her head back and barked out a belly laugh. “Sure, then you get to wrap pantyhose around a vacuum cleaner tube so you can suck up the stones after you drop a container of them all over the floor.” She winked and wrinkled her freckle-dappled nose. “Just stick to trying to knit. I know you’ll get it.”

“I wish I had your faith in me.” Esme ripped back the cotton triangle for the fifth time and wound the ball of yarn back up. Then, before she even knew what she was doing, she’d flung the yarn across her living room, knocked over a plastic IKEA fern, and burst into tears. She could feel her daughter staring in shock as she buried her face in her hands and sobbed.

It had been two weeks since she’d seen or heard from Nora. And she knew that she’d asked for it, that she had needed the break from the intense funfair ride that was sleeping with the enemy. The surprise was how much she missed Nora.

There hadn’t even been so much as a text, not that Esme could really be shocked by that. She’d been so up and down with Nora, it amazed her that the woman hadn’t gone directly back to her office, finalized the purchase of the Fairchild Building, and thrown Esme and the Lounge out posthaste. Just to be done with what Esme had been putting her through.

It was a heavy burden, made worse by not knowing what was happening with the sale. Esme almost wished Nora would go ahead and drop the guillotine. Then she’d be forced to do something. As it was, she’d spent the last two weeks vaguely poking through retail space listings, trying to find somewhere she could take the Lounge if they really had to go. The whole process was far more overwhelming than it had been twenty years ago, though, so her halfhearted efforts went nowhere.

No info on the sale. No Nora. No sex, either. Esme hadn’t even touched herself since she’d asked Nora to leave. As frustrated as she was, with her newly reawakened libido wreaking daily havoc, she just didn’t feel like she deserved the luxury of an orgasm.

Altogether, everything had left her irritable and short-tempered with everyone in her life, hurting feelings left and right. She’d snapped at Sasha over being asked to approve a new menu, at Ruby for asking for a liquor substitution in a drink, at Cam for calling in sick with literal strep throat. None of them were talking much to her at the moment, either, and Esme knew perfectly well that she deserved it.

“Mom?” Holly’s voice was cautious and worried. “Hey, Mom, come on. Look at me?”

“No.” Esme shook her head so her curls fell around her face and obscured her from Holly’s sight.

A heavy sigh came from the laptop. “Mom. I love you, but I didn’t get up at 8 AM to sit and watch you cry on Facetime. We were having fun, we were making things, what happened? What’s going on?”

Esme lifted her head and let out her own sigh. She grabbed a tissue from a box on her end table and dabbed away her tears. “It’s complicated, Hols.”

“I can see that. Usually takes a lot to make you cry, let alone start throwing things.” Setting aside her crocheting, Holly leaned in closer to her laptop camera, and Esme’s heart ached at how far Brisbane was from Los Angeles. She missed Holly so much, more now than ever. At this moment, all Esme wanted was a hug from her baby girl.

A good long talk was just going to have to suffice. Esme scrubbed the tears off her cheeks with the heel of her hand. “You know that someone’s trying to buy the Fairchild, and that they intend to evict the Lounge.”

“Yeah.” Holly’s sunny face clouded over and she frowned. “I remember you telling me about that bitch on wheels, what’s her name, Nell? Nina?”

“Nora.” Esme cleared her throat. “And I didn’t raise you to use that word like that, Holly Bernadette Bloom.”

Holly rolled her eyes. “I feel like we can make an exception for the woman who is literally trying to ruin your life. Anyway. So that’s still happening? What’s going on there?”

Esme squirmed. Maybe she’d undersold her situation when she’d used the word complicated . “I’ve been sort of seeing someone.”

Holly frowned again. “What does that have to do with…” Her eyes widened. “ Mom . You’re kidding, right?”

“I just had to raise a smart kid.” Esme cast her gaze up towards heaven and sighed. Her cheeks were hot, and she knew her entire face was bright pink as she brought her focus back down and met her daughter’s incredulous eyes. “Yes, what you’re thinking is correct.”

“And insane . Mom, I can’t believe this. You’re not seriously sleeping with that woman!”

“Well, I mean, I’m not now . But yeah, okay, I was, for a little bit. Sue me.” She threw her hands up. “I’m human, Hols. I’m a woman, I like women, she’s good-looking, interesting, there was something there…”

“I can’t believe any of that was enough to override your good sense, but sure, Mom.” Holly was rubbing her temples. “I’m guessing since you said was that you sent her packing, but how come you’re so upset about it? It should be good to not be involved with some ruthless tycoon in designer heels, especially one that’s trying to, like, bust up your entire legacy.”

“It should be, but oh, how the universe likes to laugh,” Esme muttered, slumping against into the comfort of her overstuffed, secondhand couch. “I miss her.”

Silence from Brisbane. A long, incredulous silence, long enough that Esme counted at least five different expressions of disbelief making their way across Holly’s face. When her daughter finally spoke, her words were preceded with an actual, literal sputter. “You what? ”

“I miss her, Holly. She…” The words didn’t want to come. Esme twisted her hands in her lap. “She’s strong. Smart. So driven. But there’s a romance at her core, and a level of patience I didn’t know to expect from someone so powerful and successful.” She blinked up at her living room ceiling as the tears threatened to make a reappearance. “I’ve never known anyone like her before. She’s put up with a lot from me the last few weeks.”

“ She’s put up with a lot? Mom! Hello!” Holly leaned into the laptop camera again and snapped her fingers. “She wants to drive you out of the Lounge! You were telling me about your dreams for the place when I was still in a playpen. You dragged me all over LA on the bus looking for the perfect location for it, and Uncle Leonard practically gave you the spot in his building and helped you so much…” Holly shook her head in disappointment. “What would he think if he were still here?”

“I wouldn’t be in this situation if he was,” Esme pointed out. “So it’s moot.”

Holly lapsed into silence with a wordless grumble. She picked up her bralette again and resumed work on it. Esme took advantage of the silence to go retrieve her own yarn. When she came back to sit on the couch again, she watched her daughter angrily crochet for a long moment before finally saying, “I don’t expect you to understand. For anyone to understand.”

“Good, because I don’t.” Holly’s hands stilled, and she gripped her project tightly. Then she sighed. “But I don’t have to. I can see you’re miserable without her. How long has it been?”

“Two weeks.” Esme played with the ball of yarn in her lap, rolling it back and forth in her hands. “I threw her out of my office for suggesting we take our, um, activities to a more comfortable place.”

Holly’s face was a picture. “You were screwing around in that broom closet you call an office? Jesus, I’m surprised she didn’t dump you first.”

“I told you, she’s patient beyond reason.” And I don’t deserve it .

“Clearly.” Holly sounded impressed, and Esme was sure it was against her will. “Mom, you’ve gotten yourself into a real mess. I should be telling you to keep not seeing her. But I hate to see you upset. Why did you get so mad about her suggestion, anyway?”

“I didn’t want it to lead us to some kind of slippery slope of getting more involved…” She knew even before Holly’s face contorted into a comical expression of consternation that it sounded stupid. “Don’t.”

“Oh, but I have to. That’s dumb as hell.” Holly laughed. “Mom! You’re already on the slippery slope. So the way I see it, you have two choices. Either stay away like you should do or just freakin’ text her already.” She held up her crocheting. “And can we get back to our crafting now?”

Esme glanced at her end table, where her phone was sitting on a wireless charger. She leaned over and picked it up. “Yeah. Give me a minute.”

Next to Nora’s desk, Laurie was a virtual statue, standing with her mouth open and her tablet held forgotten in her hands. Nora sighed. “Earth to Laurie.”

Laurie snapped her mouth shut and set the tablet carefully on Nora’s desk. She pinched the bridge of her nose between her fingers and closed her eyes. “Explain this to me again. Slowly.”

“I don’t know how slow I need to go. It’s pretty simple.” Nora shrugged. “I’ve been involved with Esme Bloom.”

“Simple!” Laurie nearly choked out the words. “Do you know what kind of ethical quagmire you’ve gotten yourself into? Fucking the tenant of a building that you’re in active negotiations to buy? A tenant you intend to evict? Simple is the last thing this is!”

“Yes, I am aware there are some ethical issues here,” Nora admitted. “I’m not stupid.”

“Are you sure about that?”

Nora stood up. “Okay, I normally don’t pull rank on you, but you’ve crossed the line into disrespectful territory, Laurie.”

Laurie stepped back and closed her eyes again, breathing in slowly through her nose, and out through her mouth. After a few beats, she opened her eyes again and met Nora’s gaze. “I’m sorry, Boss.”

“Apology accepted.” Nora sat back down at her desk and propped her chin in her hand. “I repeat. I am aware of the issues. I’ve just been…ignoring them.”

“This is unlike you.” Laurie’s sleek red ponytail bounced as she shook her head. “Is this why you’ve been stalling on completing the purchase? Why you’ve been nitpicking the building inspection results, making Legal go over the contracts with a fine-tooth comb? You know they’ve been tearing their hair out, right?”

“I know, I know.” Guilt, still something of a stranger to Nora, twisted her stomach.

Laurie rubbed her temples. “What’s the draw here? Why this woman? All the time I’ve known you, you have essentially lived for the work you do. What could Esme Bloom have done to eclipse that?”

“She…” Nora couldn’t stop a goofy smile from spreading across her face. “She’s beautiful, inside and out. Passionate in her convictions. Absolutely infuriating, too, never met anyone with such a hairpin trigger on their temper…”

“Only for you would something like that be appealing.” It really looked like poor Laurie was getting a headache, and Nora felt a little bad that she found any humor in how she was obviously tormenting her assistant. After the last two weeks of silent pining for Esme, though, she was glad for any little mood-lift she could get.

Laurie was, of course, not nearly as amused. She leaned forward, bracing her hands on Nora’s desk. There was a steely glint in her narrowed gray eyes. “You do intend to purchase this building? And you still plan to evict the Indigo Lounge?”

“Yes to the building purchase. And I would like to try to help relocate the Lounge if at all possible. For what this building is going to cost to upgrade and renovate, I need strongly profitable businesses in all of the spaces from the get-go. I don’t see how we can keep the Lounge there.” Sitting back in her desk chair, Nora lifted her hands in a helpless half-shrug. “I know it’s messy.”

“First time I’ve ever heard you undersell anything,” Laurie muttered. She moved over to the leather chairs in front of Nora’s desk and dropped down into one with a thump. Crossing one slender leg over the other, she eyeballed Nora and shook her head once again. “Again, ethically, this is a major, major problem, Boss. I’m pretty sure someone can come after us for it legally if it gets out, although I’m not sure if it’s the Fairchilds or Ms. Bloom who’s got the case.”

“No one has to know; I wouldn’t even have told you if you hadn’t…” Nora’s face went hot.

“If I hadn’t come in here and caught you dancing around in glee, yes, I know.” Laurie cocked her head. “What’s up with that, anyway?”

“Um, we had another argument, one of many because you know, her temper, and then she didn’t contact me for two weeks, but she reached out this weekend and today she actually asked me to come by the Indigo Lounge,” Nora recited in a rush, tucking her hair behind her ears in an unaccustomed self-conscious gesture.

“When?”

“Tonight.” Nora looked directly at her assistant, daring her to say anything more.

Laurie certainly looked like she had a lot to say, but she simply pursed her lips and stood up. “Your calendar is clear this afternoon. If you’d like to go home. I’m sure this will be another late night.”

“Didn’t take you long to put two and two together,” Nora remarked.

“There’s a reason I’m your assistant, and nobody else. I’ve known something was going on. It’s finding out who it was with that shocked me.” Laurie turned to go but hesitated in the doorway. “I hope you know what you’re doing, Boss.”

She kept walking, so she didn’t hear Nora whispering in a breath, “I don’t.”

Pulling into her parking spot behind the Indigo Lounge felt new all over again. Had it only been a month or so ago that she’d done it for the first time? Nora pulled the emergency brake and got out, keeping herself from sprinting to the big steel door with an effort.

Casual, casual, casual…

She wanted to see Esme again. She was afraid to let any hint of her eager anticipation show. Nora stuck her hands into her jeans pockets and forced herself to stroll up to the door. Swallowing hard, she hit the buzzer.

“Hi.”

The simple little word made Nora’s heart race. She cleared her throat. “Hi there.”

The intercom speaker went silent, and Nora waited, both hands back in her pockets. Her mouth was dry, her nerves electric.

The door swung open. Esme was in a long, white, eyelet lace sundress, her chestnut and silver curls cascading around her shoulders and down her back. She looked tired after a long night of work, but still beautiful. Her smile at the sight of Nora lit up her eyes. “Why, hello, stranger.”

“Hello to you too.” Nora gestured into the Lounge. “May I come in?”

“Lead the way.” Esme stood back to let her in.

Nora made her way down the long, dark hallway with Esme’s gentle sandaled footsteps following behind her. As she arrived onto the dance floor and turned towards the hallway leading to Esme’s office, a soft hand touched her elbow and guided her in the other direction. She glanced back, startled. “What’s this?”

Esme’s mouth turned up into an adorable half-smile. “A surprise. Follow me.” She slipped past Nora and grabbed her hand, tugging her after her up the staircase that led to the mezzanine that overlooked the dance floor. In her few visits here, Nora had never been up to the second floor, and had no idea what to expect.

To her shock and delight, what was up there was a picnic. A large, comfortable-looking lounging couch was tucked into a dimly lit nook in a back corner, covered with some kind of tie-dyed flowery tapestry, and in front of the couch was another tapestry, spread out on the floor with an entire vegetarian Chinese takeout feast laid out ready for them to dine on. Nora looked at Esme. “What are we doing?”

“Getting comfortable,” Esme replied, leading Nora to the couch and sitting down. “Is this enough space?” She patted the couch cushion next to her.

Nora grinned. “I don’t know. I think we’re going to have to test it out.” She slid in close to Esme and nudged her so that she scooted up to press her back against the wide arm of the couch. Shifting, she slotted her hips over Esme’s and carefully lay herself along the length of her warm body. She couldn’t help but smile down at Esme. “So far, so good.”

As she lowered her head to catch Esme’s mouth in a gentle kiss, a hand came up to stop her. “But dinner?” Esme asked.

“Forget it, we’ve got a test to conduct.” And Nora batted Esme’s hand aside, going in for the interrupted kiss with all thoughts of gentleness gone.

Having Esme’s body arching beneath her was so much more delicious than she’d imagined. The contortions they’d had to bend themselves into in the office were fun, but never resulted in full, sensual contact like this. Nora held herself up with one arm and let her free hand reach down to pull one of the thin straps of Esme’s dress down off her shoulder. Her fingers trailed down to work their way past the neckline and down to cup one of Esme’s full breasts in her hand. To her delight, Esme wasn’t wearing a bra.

Their gazes met as Nora pulled back from the kiss, and Esme’s eyes were dancing with mirth. “I decided to adopt your philosophy. A bra wouldn’t have gone with this dress anyway.”

“I like it,” Nora said, her voice husky with desire as she dragged her thumb over Esme’s peaking nipple. She bent her head down to suck at it through the cotton lace, reveling in Esme’s moans of pleasure, in the way her fingers raked through Nora’s hair and pulled her head down tight against her chest.

Nora took her time, leisurely lingering on Esme’s breasts, scooping them out of the elastic neckline so she had free access to lick and suck each one into a stiff peak. Whichever nipple she wasn’t teasing with her tongue was kept plucked and taut by her fingers, and the way Esme was squirming beneath her let Nora know that she was enjoying the attention.

She let her hand slide down Esme’s waist, over her hip, and down to her knee, where she gathered up a handful of skirt and started to pull it up. Esme’s breath began to hitch as Nora slid up to cover her mouth with her own, just as she slid her hand into Esme’s panties.

It was no surprise to find Esme was plump and wet, and Nora’s fingers slipped easily and hungrily over her swollen clit. Esme spilled a moan into Nora’s mouth as Nora began to slowly stroke the warm, slick little folds, moving in small circles at first, then longer, firmer presses.

Her middle two fingers slipped into Esme. Deeply filling her as she divulged in her quickened breaths.

“You want me to fuck you harder, don’t you?” Nora teased.

Esme’s eye contact told her everything she needed to know. Nora’s pushed another finger inside, stretching Esme further. Fucking her harder and deeper, Esme gushed around her. Moaning. Squirming. Enjoying everything about it.

The fucking became faster but still just as deep. Nora slowed the pace as she felt Esme tightening around her, desperate to make the climax last as long as possible.

When her orgasm hit, it was unmistakable and swift. She clenched hard around Nora’s fingers, and her short fingernails dug into the soft skin on Nora’s upper arms. Her head was thrown back over the couch arm, hair trailing down to the floor as she let out a toe-curling moan, rich and deep with satisfaction.

Slowly, slowly, Nora eased her hand free and lifted her head to look at Esme, whose face was bright with ecstasy. She was breathing in short pants, her cheeks flushed pink, and, to Nora, she looked more beautiful than she ever had. Impulsively, Nora leaned down to kiss her again, slowly, more sweetly than she ever had before. Then she brushed Esme’s hair back from her face and their eyes connected. Something old and new began to stir in Nora, a contentment and affection she hadn’t felt in so, so long. She also loved just how quickly she could make Esme cum.

But just as Nora opened her mouth to try and express any little part of it, a voice barked out from the staircase, echoing around the Indigo Lounge.

“What the absolute fuck is going on here?”

Esme was floating. The bubble surrounding her and Nora was warm and happy, a pink haze of bliss. After all their time apart, despite the uncertainty of the future, this moment was a perfect one. She smiled up into Nora’s beautiful blue eyes, tilted her mouth up for a sweet kiss. Nora’s body covering hers, her warm hand resting on Esme’s waist…Esme had never felt closer to another person in her entire life.

Nora smiled, a lovely, warm smile that Esme adored seeing, because it softened all the sharpness of her face, made her seem like an entirely different person than the designer-clad, serious-minded real estate tycoon Esme had first met.

They lay together, smiling, in silence. Nora reached up a hand and brushed hair away from Esme’s face, a tender gesture that touched Esme’s heart with a quick finger of light. Then she opened her mouth and looked like she wanted to say something?—

“What the absolute fuck is going on here?”

Sasha’s harsh shout ringing from the mezzanine stairs shocked Esme out of her reverie, shattering the warm pink bubble of bliss. She pushed herself up and out from under Nora, trying frantically to pull her dress down, tidy her hair up, pull herself together. Of course, she knew it was hopeless as she did it all. Her face was flushed, her hair impossibly tumbled about, her lips swollen. What they’d been doing was stamped on her and Nora as unmistakably as a fresh tattoo.

Sasha stalked over from the stairwell, more furious than Esme could ever remember seeing her in their years of friendship. Even the day they opened the Lounge and discovered that the walk-in freezer had malfunctioned overnight and everything had to be thrown out—Sasha had been on a near-murderous rampage that day, and even that paled in comparison to this moment now.

It seemed more alarming thanks to the silence that radiated from her as she walked forward. Esme couldn’t help herself from shrinking back into the couch, pulling her legs up and her long dress over them. Vaguely, she felt Nora wrapping a protective arm around her. “Sasha,” she began.

“Save it, E. Whatever excuses you’re about to make, just don’t.” Sasha shook her head, lip curled in disgust. Her furious dark gaze slid over towards Nora for a split second, and she snorted. “I knew something was up the last few weeks, but I just thought you were worried about the building sale.”

“I was… am…” Esme didn’t know how to get any words out.

“So worried that you’ve been fucking this one?” Sasha gestured towards Nora, even that movement laced with contempt. “She’s going to shut us down, she doesn’t give a shit about us or the Lounge, and you sleep with her? Her ? Of all people, Esme, how could you?”

Nora’s arm tightened around Esme’s shoulders. “Back off, okay? Stop lecturing her for a minute, let her think.”

Sasha scoffed. “Oh, I don’t even want to hear from you .”

“Leave her alone, Sasha,” Esme managed to get out. She swallowed hard. “Why are you here?”

“Not that I should be the one answering questions here, but I forgot my Airpods in my apron pocket.” She held up a tiny red case. “Got halfway home, stopped for gas, realized I didn’t have them when I looked in my bag for my wallet. And I wanted them; they need to be charged. So I came back.” Sasha’s lips pulled back into an almost feral expression. “There. A full and complete answer. Your turn. What the fuck were you thinking, Esme?”

Esme took in a deep breath and stood up, feeling Nora’s arm drop away from her shoulders as she did. “I am an adult, Sasha. I can make my own choices, good or bad.”

“There’s good, there’s bad, and there’s fucking disastrous, Esme!” Sasha gestured around to take in the Lounge. “This is our space, our safe space that you built, and this greedy asshole is going to throw us out on the street. And you’re fucking her! In the space she wants to destroy! Are you dumb? I never thought of you as dumb.”

“Enough!” Esme squeezed her eyes shut and held up her hands. “Enough! Stop it. It’s nothing! It’s just sex! That’s it! I’m allowed to fuck who I want, Sasha!”

“Yeah, it didn’t look like just sex when I got up here. It looked romantic. Intimate. You made a goddamn picnic, Esme.” Looking down, Sasha waved at the blankets and the rapidly cooling Chinese food. “This looks like it was a date. The eye contact you two were making looked like even more than that.”

“Well, you’re reading too much into it. And I don’t think it’s a good idea for us to keep talking about this now. Emotions are high.”

Shaking her head, Sasha let out a bitter laugh. “Sure. Fine. Whatever, Esme. Looks like you made a huge mistake betting on the Nora Hartley horse, though. She can’t even stand by you at a time like this.”

“What?” Esme spun around and looked at the couch. Nora was gone. In the distance, she heard the heavy back door of the Lounge clang shut.

Nora hit the back door of the Lounge at a near sprint and dashed for her car, blinking back furious tears. In what felt like seconds, she had the door to her Audi unlocked, wrenched open, and she all but fell into the driver’s seat, gasping for breath. She knew she shouldn’t drive upset, but she needed to get far away from here, quickly.

She peeled out of the back-alley parking lot in a screech of tires and zoomed up the street towards the 110 that would take her home. With some effort, she got herself to slow down within a couple of blocks. The last thing she needed was LAPD pulling her over. Nora didn’t think she could maintain her cool through a confrontation with cops and getting arrested for slapping one wasn’t exactly on her bucket list.

As she made her way back to Pacific Palisades, Nora couldn’t stop herself from replaying the night in her head. Especially that moment.

It’s nothing! It’s just sex!

With what they’d shared that night, Nora had thought she and Esme were on the same page at last. That the push and pull would stop, that there would be no more uncertain snappish moments that left Nora reeling. She’d always understood why Esme’s emotions were so mercurial, of course she’d be conflicted and anxious all the time.

But this. This, she hadn’t expected. Perhaps she should have, but… she just hadn’t. To Nora, it was clear that Esme’s anxious, biting responses came down to an emotional conflict within herself. That meant that she had some kind of positive feeling about Nora that came into direct opposition to her anger over the building sale. Something was there. Not nothing.

Except, Nora guessed, it might have been nothing after all. Thank God she hadn’t managed to take off any clothing before she pounced on Esme. When Esme had been dismissing their relationship as nothing, Nora had been able to slide off the couch and take the stairs down two at a time, gripping the railing to keep herself from tripping through a blinding haze of tears.

Even splitting up with Leah hadn’t hurt like this, this uncontrollable wrenching pain in her chest. No one had ever made her feel like this, like she was nothing, worthless. She’d never granted anyone the access to do so, hadn’t intended to give it to Esme. And yet here, she reflected, wiping tears away as she steered towards the highway, here she was. Hurt beyond measure, tears streaming down her face, driving home in the middle of an LA night, alone.

What a huge mistake she’d made, getting involved with Esme Bloom. But there was one good thing to come out of this awful night—she was going to quit stalling on the Fairchild deal and wrap it up as soon as possible. And just to be the bigger person, she was still going to provide Esme with a list of relocation options and even give her six months to move out.

But right at this moment, she never wanted to set foot in the Indigo Lounge again.