14. Rafferty

I thinkboth Kadence and I are a bit shell-shocked after the stunt we pulled during my meeting. There's no denying what an electrifying thrill it was, but it was also far beyond anything we'd done before, and there were a lot of emotions on both sides as we came down from the high.

Thankfully, we didn't have to wait long before the conference call came to an end. I stripped us of our soiled clothes to deal with later, then led Kadence to the bathroom where I cleaned him up and wrapped us both in fluffy robes. Placing a gentle kiss on the spot I sucked raw, I grip his shoulders before looking into his eyes.

"I would like you to be as comfortable as you like for the remainder of the evening," I tell him, holding his eye contact so I can read whether or not my words sink in. "If that means sweatpants and one of those weird sticky masks on your face, that's absolutely okay with me."

That gets a small giggle out of him, and I'm glad. I'm certain he was into the sex. It was borderline non-consensual for my staff, but as far as I'm concerned, what they don't know can't harm them. I'm almost certain Kadence was just as into it as I was.

Still…

"Is everything all right?" I ask, rubbing my thumbs against his shoulders through the robe.

He blinks at me. "Hm?"

I lick my lips and study his face. "Did you need to safeword back then?" I kick myself. We talked about non-verbal signals, but I did tell him he had to be quiet. Was that a step too far?

Before I can spiral, he vehemently shakes his head. "What? No? Rafferty, that was seriously hot."

I exhale and nod. "Okay, good. But…is there something else?"

He nibbles his lower lip and looks away from me. So that's a yes. But before I can probe him further, he turns back to me with that dazzling smile of his. "I'm just tuckered out from all this incredible sex," he says, fluttering his long lashes at me. "A quiet self-care night sounds divine, actually."

I'm not sure I entirely believe him. However, I don't really want to prod too hard against whatever his sore spot is.

After all, there are things I'm not admitting to him, let alone myself.

"You go get comfortable," I say, rubbing his arms.

I can't stop myself from reaching up and playing with one of his curls, casually touching his face as I do so. I love that I get to do that still. I love that he's still here.

"I still have some work to finish off, but then I can perhaps make us some pasta."

He nods. "I am very here for carbohydrates," he says solemnly. "Especially if they're covered in cream or cheese or both."

I laugh, feeling a bit lighter. "Carbonara it is, then," I say.

I send him on his way, then head to my bedroom to freshen up and pull on some sweats of my own, also keen for comfort. My eyes drift to look at my bed as I change. The bed I share with a wife I haven't loved for years and probably never even loved in the first place.

The past three mornings I've woken up wishing Kadence was beside me. Missing him almost, even though he's never even set foot in this room.

What's going through his head? Is he having thoughts like that? I know we made our agreement pretty damn clear, but I can't help but wonder…I can't help but yearn for a little more.

Maybe a lot more.

It's a phase. It'll pass. I'm just mad with lust and the energy of a new infatuation. The novelty will wear off soon enough, and I'll be extremely grateful that I didn't do anything drastic like burn down my life for him.

For the next week—couple of weeks—couple of months—who knows?—the point is that we can indulge in this bubble. It's a fantasy that will no doubt stay with me for the rest of my days. I'll always look back on my summer fling with the beautiful boy who made me lose my senses.

For now, he's mine to play with as I please. To tend to as I wish. My doll isn't just here for me to fuck. He's a living, breathing pet for me to dote on. He's not going to fight me when I want to fuss over him and spoil him. In fact, he's lapping up every moment of it.

Everybody wins. Nobody gets hurt. Charleen will never have to know, and actually, I'm sure she'll be grateful when I return to my public husbandly duties with a renewed enthusiasm come the fall. She'll have no idea that she'll be indebted to a kinky young man, but I'll know.

I'll always know. I'll never forget.

Shaking my head, I pull my old, faded Harvard hoodie on and refuse to dwell on the matter any longer tonight. This is why I asked Kadence to stay on, why I'm paying him. The only deadline here is when I realize the tryst has reached its natural conclusion. Or when Charleen announces she's coming home. There's no point in dwelling on how I'll feel when Kadence leaves my life for good, not when he's here right now.

I've got time to make the most of him.

And if tonight that's playing make believe as a regular couple just having dinner and watching TV or reading books together, then that's what we'll do.

Because I'm Daddy, and I can pander to whatever whims I might have, even vanilla ones.

If I want to imagine just for one evening what life might be like if Kadence and I were actually dating…well, that's between me, myself, and I. No one else ever needs to know.

Not even Kadence.

The next couple of days bleed into each other. Kadence and I fall into something of a routine. We don't risk another escapade during any of my meetings, but we squeeze in plenty of time for fun activities nonetheless. He's always beautiful for me, and I enjoy fussing over him.

But I know he's not telling me everything, and whatever it is, it's simmering just below the surface.

Does he want to call it off? Was the sex at my desk too much? Is he bored already? I have to say that I'm very much enjoying the domesticity of having him here all the time. I thought he was happy taking time to read and walk, and I've heard him filming so I assume he has a TikTok or whatever. I trust him to be discreet as that's an essential part of our deal, so that's not my concern. I don't believe he's stuck for things to do. But I can't really think what's plaguing him other than restlessness.

He is half my age. Perhaps it was foolish to think he'd be seriously interested in me. If he's just here for the money, that's fine. But I don't want to feel that way when we're together. In fact, I'm paying him for a service, and if I'm not getting it, then I can call the whole deal off right now.

Unfortunately, a frustrating meeting with a company I'm supposed to be moving an acquisition forward with leaves me in a bit of a temper. So when Kadence is quiet during dinner, I finally snap.

"I do believe that when you came to stay with me that we made it clear one of my rules was that you had to be upfront with me."

His eyes go wide before he looks left and right. "Um…yeah? Is there…what are you talking about?"

I place my knife and fork down on my plate before lacing my fingers together and inhaling slowly through my nose, counting down from five so I don't snap any further and say anything I'll regret.

"You have something troubling you that you refuse to discuss. I'm not saying you have to disclose every thought that crosses your mind. But when it affects your behavior when we're together, it becomes my problem."

He blinks at me before something dark flashes across his eyes. "It's nothing," he says stiffly. "Or I mean, it's my problem, and I'll do better at letting it go."

"Not good enough," I say. "If something is wrong, you need to let me fix it. Our time together is supposed to be an escape. I know we're playing roles, but I specifically don't want any bullshit when that's what the rest of my life is filled with."

He scoffs at me, folds his arms over his chest and leans back in his chair. Our dinner has been abandoned on both our plates. I know my appetite has vanished. I'll be extremely disappointed if this is already the end of our arrangement.

However, there is a part of me that's impressed that he's not afraid to stand his ground with me. He's not shying away or crumbling. But he's also still holding out, and I'd like to know why.

Right now.

"Fine," he cries eventually, throwing his hands up. "I know I'm supposed to just be a doll for you to play with, and the last thing you want is any kind of business advice from someone who only just graduated college, for fuck's sake. But you want to know what's on my mind? I'll tell you."

It's my turn to blink in confusion. I caught the part where he was perhaps having trouble with the boundaries of our relationship. That I can sympathize with. Him moving in and us spending all this time together is bound to fuck with our heads, no matter how no-strings we wanted to keep this.

But he's got opinions on my company?

"Go on, then," I say with a jut of my chin.

He swallows and scowls at me for another few seconds. "Paddle Creek is my home," he says in a low voice. "I left my parents behind because they're from a shockingly elitist community of rich bastards like you who think they can just bully their way through any situation. They did not want a gay son, so they were not going to have a gay son. I either stayed and lied or moved and lived. I chose Paddle Creek because despite being a dump, it's actually super fucking queer-friendly."

"Right," I say when he pauses, not quite following.

"Nothing works there because of you. All those businesses are closed down or run down because of you. You're playing some sort of long game with the real estate and it's choking the whole town. Now you just want to sell it off and forget like you didn't ruin everything for a whole decade or more? These are people's lives we're talking about! Not pieces on a Monopoly board! I know you're not used to being a minority and will probably spend the rest of your life in the closet, but I won't do that. Paddle Creek is where I belong now, and it's a queer community. I hate that you don't care about it, and I hate even more how much I care that you don't care because I'm just supposed to be a fucking doll for you!"

My jaw is hanging open. His fists are clenched as he slowly gets to his feet, tears brimming in his eyes. "Kadence…I…"

He shakes his head and the tears fall. "I told you that you didn't want to know," he rasps, avoiding my eyes. "I told you it wasn't any of my business. If you want me to leave, I understand. Just…give me a minute to calm down, okay? I don't…I never meant to…this is too much…"

I'm unable to think of anything to say as he marches out of the dining room. But my head is spinning as I try and break down the essential points of what he just yelled at me.

He's mad at the way I've treated his home. That's fair enough. My current strategy has been failing, and I've been considering the easy way out.

I realize he must have overheard that information while I was fucking him, which is kind of messed up. I need to give him more credit. He's really not just a pretty face, he's got an active mind behind those beautiful ocean-blue eyes.

I knew he lived in Paddle Creek, but his words about why it's his home and how important it is to him send chills down my spine. He's right. I don't know anything beyond the extreme privilege of being a straight, rich, white man. I don't know what it's like to be exiled from my family. In fact—the entire reason I'm trapped in a loveless marriage is because I'm too afraid to rock the boat. I guess I haven't had much of a reason to before now.

But Kadence is correct. I could probably choose to remain hidden in the closet about whatever my sexuality is for the rest of my days.

He doesn't have that luxury.

He's braver than I'll probably ever be.

It's ironic that his kink is pretending to be a lifeless doll because he's actually the most authentic person in my life right now by a long shot.

And that brings us to the final thing he admitted. He cares. Like I care. He cares too much. It's getting complicated.

The fact that I'm realizing this should be enough to send klaxons off in my brain. Instead, I actually feel relieved that we're on the same page.

Except he said he'd understand if I want him to leave.

Absolutely fucking not.

He's damn straight that he has no right to criticize my business practice. Especially when he has the audacity to be spot on the nose with his observations. But he definitely doesn't get to tell me how I feel or when I should relinquish him from our deal. That's my choice. If he wants to leave, that's different. But he's not telling me how I feel.

I've spent too many decades with a spouse already doing just that.

No, we're not done with this discussion, and that little brat needs to understand that he's going to have to try a lot harder if he wants to scare me off.

Time to go find him and spank some sense into that perfect butt of his.