Chapter 10
CHAPTER 10
T he next Friday midmorning, Abraham was helping Miss Cahill pony the four horses that she was taking to the summer fair and auction in Lawrence. Each of them rode one of the tried-and-true road horses that they rented to people who paid to borrow them by the day, while leading two of the younger horses for the sale behind them. As they drew nearer to the town, Miss Cahill's excitement seemed to be growing as she smiled wider and turned in the saddle toward him. "My father used to take me to the summer fair in Lawrence every year to sell a few of the colts that he bought the year before… or the year before that. He'd sell a few and buy a few. But during the war and after the devastation of the raid, they cancelled the fair for a few years. This year is the first one they'd had since the war was over, and everyone is hoping it will be a success like its glory days."
It was the most that she'd said to him with a smile on her face. His heart fluttered when she looked at him like that, and he couldn't help but smile back at her. Honestly, he couldn't remember smiling so much in years, maybe not since he'd gotten the letter that his mother had passed. A part of him felt guilty for being so happy, even after thinking about his dearly departed mother, but then another part of him could see his mother smiling down on him, glad to see him feeling something other than grief.
Ever since he'd arrived at Tonganoxie, he'd been at peace and the longer he stayed, that peace grew into something more. Genuine happiness. And it was all because of the woman riding next to him. The kinship that he'd felt with her from the beginning had grown into affection, and now he could barely glance at her without his heart beating harder against his breastbone. It had been weeks now since Ms. Penelope had given him the directive to woo Miss Cahill, but he'd not figured out a way to do it. Even now, any time he thought about how he should go about doing such a thing, his mind went blank. Why had he been tasked with such an ordeal? Maybe Ms. Penelope would have done better to have chosen someone other than him to be Miss Cahill's intended.
The thought of that made his stomach twist. The very idea that another man could marry Miss Cahill made him tighten his hand into a fist. It wasn't that he grew angry at the thought, exactly, but frustrated at his own inability to woo a female. If there was ever a lady that he wanted to woo in his life, it was Miss Cahill. He didn't want another man to beat him to it, and he didn't want for her to love another.
Love?
Where did that thought come from? His face flushed. Would it really even be possible for Miss Cahill to love a man like him? Wounded. Worthless. Virtually penniless. Without a family or an inheritance of any kind. Swallowing hard, he swallowed back the grief that was rising up in him. A lady like her didn't deserve to be saddled with a surly, second-rate horseman like he was. How could he even think any differently. Maybe it would be best if he just informed Ms. Penelope that this was all a big mistake and took his leave.
But where would he go?
Guilt took hold of him. He had no where to go, and it was selfish of him to stay. Completely and utterly selfish. He knew that though he was of some help to Miss Cahill, perhaps there was another man out there who would be a better help to her? Perhaps, even though it would be difficult, it would be best if he left.
He'd been with the Cahills for the better part of a month. And in that time, he'd found a groove and gotten attached to… well actually to both of them in some ways. But it wasn't right for him to keep taking up the space that might be a better fit for someone other than him. Maybe after the summer fair, he'd tell them both that it was time for him to go. Even though the thought made him a little bit sick to the stomach, he decided that it was the best action for him to take, and as Lawrence came into sight, he was determined to go ahead and do it.
With prayer, he asked God to help make him strong even though he was afraid to leave because he was unsure where to go. And that the Lord would give him the backbone he needed to tell the two ladies that it was time for him to move on. That was also going to be difficult.
"There it is," she said, turning to him again in the saddle and flashing that disarming smile. "Just stay close to me. The way is going to get busier the closer we get to the fair with everyone setting things up, so we need to get these colts chalked with numbers on their hips and then put in the sale corral before we can take Franny and Festus to the livery."
He nodded and kept close to her as they made their way down the main road. Lawrence was surprisingly much bigger than Tonganoxie. It was closer to the size of St. Joseph, with several businesses on both sides of the street, and several people promenading up and down the boardwalks in front of those businesses in some of their best attire. A buzz of excitement ran in the air, and Abraham could feel it coursing through him, too.
Once they got the colts registered and put in the sale corral, Miss Cahill was cranking her neck trying to get a good look at the other colts in the sale. Abraham could barely take his eyes off of her. When she was in this state of excitement, the joy and enthusiasm flooded off of her and made her glow. He didn't think it was possible, but she became even more beautiful, and he even found it more difficult to stop staring at her.
Her eyes sparkled when she looked his way again. "What do you think about the palomino colt over there?"
Barely able to tear his gaze away from hers, he spotted the horse she was referring to. "Hip 42?"
"Yes."
"Seems like he has good bone, straight legs, good feet. His neck might be a little short."
"Agreed. The feet and legs are most important, but he might be harder to sell if he's not pretty, too. The color is a bonus."
"Makes him flashy. But the color might make him bring a higher price here in the auction than he should get, because some will buy him just for his looks rather than his potential talent."
She smiled wider. "You're absolutely right. I haven't had a good horse talk like this in quite a while. Father used to tell me all the negatives of the horses that I picked in the pen, too. It helps me to make a better decision when we would debate the different points and balance them out. I knew I was right in taking you to the sale instead of going alone. Even though Penelope told me that I should."
He huffed a laugh as they both led the riding horses away from the sale pen and toward the livery nearby. "Since she suggested it, I imagined you didn't want to do it?"
Laughing herself, she nodded and raised a brow toward him. "Am I becoming predictable to you now, Mr. Thomas? Dull and boring?"
"Hardly," he said, shaking his head. "You are a pleasant surprise much more often than you are ordinary."
Her eyes widened and her cheeks pinked before she shyly looked away. He swallowed hard. When she looked at him that way, the desire to take hold of her and pull her into his embrace became almost unbearable. But they were in public. And he wasn't given permission to be that intimate with her. Neither did he deserve to get permission either. His heart sank at these thoughts.
But still, these thoughts continued to plague him as they paid for Franny and Festus to have a stall while they were attending the auction. Soon they returned to the sale pen. Miss Cahill pointed toward a smaller chestnut gelding with an old scar on its back leg. "That one might be worth looking at."
He nodded. "Big feet, kind eye. His neck ties in really well to the shoulder."
She turned to face him in surprise. "You really do have an eye for a good horse."
"My commanding officer would talk to me about all the different horses that would come in for the Cavalry. Some horses were donated by ranchers and farmers nearby, but often we'd go to sales like this one and he would talk about those horses just like we are now."
"Oh," she said. "So you do have some experience with auctions."
"A little."
"Why didn't you say so before?"
He shrugged. "I didn't want to color your decision on whether to take me one way or the other."
Shaking her head, she pouted at him, making his heart thump again. "But you telling me would have been a very good thing in this case. I didn't want to burden you with the extra work and take up a whole day with something that you might not have wanted to do."
"I'd always make time for things you want to do," he said matter-of-factly.