Chapter 19

NINETEEN

All around us, the hum of conversation continued, but we were nearly in a corner. Cut off from anyone who might know the history between us.

And I was still trying desperately to draw oxygen into my lungs after the stab of warning from my magic.

“Talia.” I managed to say the word without gasping or wheezing. Straightened my slumped shoulders and looked up… and up some more, to meet her icy gaze. “Thank you for coming. Is there anything I can assist you with?”

“You have two choices, little traitor,” she hissed. “Either you can swear that you will never reveal what you did to me and then disappear so completely that no one here will ever see your face again…”

She paused long enough for me to prompt her with my own sarcastic, “Or?”

“Or I will inform the other delegates that the shapeshifter king is employing an elemental assassin, which breaks the sacred terms of the Symposium and nullifies his authority.”

It took a few moments for me to fully absorb her threat, and then a few more to consider its implications.

But once I did… A feeling of lightheadedness swept over me, leaving me almost giddy with shock.

Callum was right—Talia was afraid of me. She wanted me gone. The question was why. Because she feared me undermining her authority? Or because she wanted to be able to sabotage the Symposium?

The latter simply didn’t ring true, and even my stupid, useless hunch magic didn’t respond to it. Talia might be insecure, but she was not our saboteur.

She also didn’t get to tell me what to do.

“I’m not an assassin,” I told her flatly. “And that’s a difficult accusation to prove. What I can prove if necessary is that I’m not just an elemental. I’m also a shapeshifter. I have dual magic, which allows me to function as a part of the shapeshifter court if I choose.”

I saw when the shock of my announcement slapped her, and she literally took a tiny step back.

“You’re lying,” she whispered.

“Maybe I am,” I agreed coolly. “But do you really want to start this Symposium by accusing Callum-ro-Deverin of lying as well?”

“I will not be manipulated by a traitor,” Talia responded fiercely. “Nor will I be treated like a child by some adolescent shapeshifter with delusions of power.”

I ought to have been afraid. No one was watching, and Talia was twice my size. But in that moment, as I faced the enraged elemental queen, I found myself curiously unafraid of her threats. Not only because I was telling the truth about being a shapeshifter. And not because I knew I could hide behind Callum’s protection.

No, this was something more, and I lifted my hands to stare at them as the first tiny seeds of confidence took root in my heart.

For the first time since unwelcome magic flamed to life between my palms, I’d chosen to own this unwieldy power and let it be a part of whoever I was becoming. But I still had to take the next step. To accept the scars of my past, lay my guilt to rest, and do more than simply exist from day to day. Do more than cower in fear of a future that might never come.

I was alive, and I was free. Now it was up to me to stop living as if I were still a prisoner. To set my feet on that road and not look back.

Talia might still attack me if she chose. But never… never again would I simply curl up in a ball and wait for the attack to be over. Even if I wobbled, even if I fell, I had to start by getting back up.

I opened my mouth to tell her so, and was stunned when my wayward hunches suddenly flared to life, and for once, actually gave me something useful.

Talia, unlike many of the other delegates, had a deep, personal interest in the outcome of these proceedings—she hoped the new laws and cooperation between the courts might help find her missing daughter. Considering her behavior so far, she seemed to believe Elayara might have been responsible. So no matter how much she hated me, she was unlikely to provoke any kind of disagreement that would hamper her ability to search for her child.

Suddenly, I could see how insidious this siren power could be in the wrong hands, and I vowed then and there to never use it for my own gain. But in this case? Maybe it could help us learn to understand and respect one another.

“Your Majesty,” I said, looking her in the eye without a trace of sarcasm, “no one here is your enemy. Not even me. And believe it or not, I actually want to help you find your daughter. You wouldn’t know it, because you never asked me, but I was taken from my parents when I was only eight years old. I grew up without a mom. And since I know what that’s like, I wouldn’t wish it on anyone else’s daughter. So, is there any way you can choose to view our disagreement from a different perspective? Maybe let your argument with me wait until after the Symposium is over?”

The elemental queen looked like I’d kicked her in the gut.

“How old is your daughter?” I asked quietly.

Her voice was almost robotic when she answered. “Chesney is twenty-three. If she is still alive.”

If.

I knew, possibly better than anyone else in this room, how uncertain that answer truly was.

“Then I will hope with you that she is, and I will fight with you to make sure she stays that way.”

Talia’s nostrils flared. Her eyes flashed with blue fire.

It took a brave person to choose to set aside offense. To look past their own hurt and humiliation and grow.

In the end, the elemental queen was up to the challenge.

“Very well, small one.” She looked down on me like the queen she was and offered me a regal nod. “I am willing to grant you the opportunity to live up to your words. I don’t know what one such as you can do to help me, but I am past judging my allies by their influence. Do what you promised, and all offenses will be wiped clean.”

Maybe not the wholesale forgiveness I’d hoped for, but I would take it.

Even if it meant I’d added one more name to the burdens I carried for the lost.

“Deal,” I said briefly. “And now, if Your Majesty would excuse me, I have an important meeting to attend.”

I took the stairs two at a time, in a hurry to get Angelica’s update and return to the reception where I could keep an eye on the strangely suspicious fae.

But when I reached the fifth floor office, opened the door, and took a cautious step inside, the room was dark. There was no light from the conference room, no murmur of voices. Had Heather told me the wrong place?

I took a quick step towards the wall and felt for the light switches. But as I did so, the door swung shut behind me with an ominous thud and a click as the lock engaged.

Instincts flared to life. I was back in the caves again—those dark, oppressive tunnels that hid so many silent dangers. A hot, angry surge of adrenaline shot all the way to my fingertips, and I dropped to the floor, wishing I’d chosen the black shirt instead of the white one. I would need to stay low.

Out of long habit, my breathing went shallow and slow. There was a walkway between the desks to my right, so I rolled that way before army-crawling towards the south wall. The opposite direction from the conference room. Once I had a solid surface at my back, I paused and listened. Waited for my senses to adjust while I strained to isolate any possible sound—the soft rasp of a sole against the carpet fibers, the brush of a fingertip over fabric, even the sound of lips parting to take a breath.

I was so focused on listening for even the smallest whispers, the voice from the darkness came as quite a shock.

“Hello, Raine.”

Male. Not young, not old. Quietly confident. Very much not Angelica. And weirdly familiar.

I didn’t answer, for obvious reasons.

“I’m sorry it’s come to this, but we’ve been unable to connect with you in more ordinary settings. Too many eyes and ears. And the conversation that must be had is one that others do not want you aware of.”

Connect with me? What was he talking about? And what had he done with Angelica? Perhaps under the circumstances it would have made sense to suspect her of setting me up, but after today… I didn’t. She might be stuck up and annoying about most things, but I’d seen her willingness to protect Ari, and I didn’t think she would betray me.

So who was this person and how had he gotten into the building?

“I understand that you’re wary, and I would be too under the circumstances. You’ve suffered a great deal, and been subjected to trauma that the people down at that reception cannot possibly imagine.”

I swallowed the surge of horror that threatened to choke me. Tried frantically to quiet the thudding of my heart. Who was this person? What did he know?

“You think you know why they’re all here,” the voice continued in a soft, reasonable tone. “You think you’re acting in support of a worthy cause—to protect the innocent and punish the guilty. But how much do you know about the true purpose of this Symposium?”

It was difficult not to squirm as I considered his question. Because the truth was, I still didn’t know much. Not the specifics. Even back when I’d first arrived, Kira had avoided the subject when I’d brought it up.

I knew we were here primarily because of the fallout from Elayara’s actions. Because she’d been kidnapping innocents and stealing their magic for herself, plotting to use it to gain power over humans and other Idrians alike. Callum had said he intended to stop it from ever happening again. That there needed to be laws to protect us from those like Elayara who used their power unscrupulously, but that those laws would require a consensus from all the courts in order to enforce them.

The courts had never managed to agree on much of anything, but he was hoping to convince them they needed to present a united front on this issue. That unless they could agree on laws and consequences, it would pose a danger to the safety of humanity and Idrians both, because there would be no way to keep such power in check.

That was all I knew, but it had seemed like enough.

“The truth is,” the voice went on, “while they do not yet know the full truth of what Elayara succeeded in doing, they know enough. They know humans were involved, and that… Well, it terrifies them to their souls.”

This couldn’t be happening.

Who was he, and how did he know this much?

“But not because of the potential for her research to be continued by their own kind. No, that part is a lie. What terrifies them is the prospect of humans finding out what Elayara’s research made possible.”

Only it wasn’t Elayara’s “research.” She’d only found a cruel use for the magic she discovered in someone else.

In my beautiful friend, Kes.

But his claims weren’t entirely wrong. If humans ever realized what had happened, I could only imagine their reaction.

“The courts have been forced to move swiftly in order to prevent catastrophe—swiftly and secretly. That is why they hide their true purpose, not only from the humans, but even from people like you.”

Speaking of true purpose, this mysterious voice had yet to reveal his. Why call me here and tell me all this? If he knew the truth about me, why not just admit it? What did he want from me?

“If this Symposium goes forward as planned,” he said, “there will be no protection for Elayara’s victims. That part is another lie. It is why we have tried so hard to prevent the courts from ever arriving at this point.”

Well, crap. Looked like I’d just found our saboteur. But I had no idea what to do about it. Try to capture him? Try to kill him? How could I do either one in the dark with no clues what his magic might be?

“But here we are, standing on the precipice of disaster, unless we can stop this at the eleventh hour. Find a way to end this bloodlessly. And we have no hope of doing that, unless we can count on your help.”

Oh, my hecking heck. He was trying to recruit me . This was likely the person who’d already come close to killing me twice, first with the attack in this very building, and second with the attack on Callum’s SUV. Why try to talk me over to his side now?

I had so many questions. So many retorts. But I refused to open my mouth and give away my position. I’d been the victim of far too many fae tricks over the past ten years, and I would not fall for it. The lessons had been too harsh.

“This has to end, Raine, for the protection of victims like you and like me.”

So he’d been a victim, too? But he hadn’t mentioned Kes, Logan, or Ari. Did he know they’d escaped with me? Did he realize they were in the city?

“But I know you have no reason to believe me. Not when you already believe so blindly in that dragon. You’ve chosen to defend the very person who is striving to destroy the freedom you’ve made for yourself. The freedom to make your own choices and create a new life. To find your own place in this changing world.”

I wanted to snarl at him, to tell him that he was wrong about Callum. Callum had done nothing but try to protect me. To help me find my feet and give me a way to keep my family safe.

“So for now, all I’m asking is that you look for answers.” The voice remained calm and reasonable. Unruffled, while I was fighting so hard against frustration and panic. “Ask your dragon for the truth of what they are doing here. Ask yourself whether you want to support those ambitions. And when you make your decision… I will be here. Waiting.”

Waiting…

Hold on… Why was I waiting?

Had I completely forgotten my conviction from only a few short minutes ago? And if so, why was I still hiding here behind a desk?

I wasn’t back in those caves. I wasn’t a victim being hunted. But the minute the lights went out, I went back to that place, those instincts, those hard-learned methods of survival.

This was going to be so much harder than I’d feared, but I truly wasn’t that person anymore. I could stand up. I could fight back. Tear this room apart until I found the owner of the voice. Confront him and force him to answer my questions.

I didn’t have to hide. He was the intruder here, not me, and he had no power in this place.

It was one of the harder things I’d ever done, forcing my knees to obey. Forcing my body to move, to unbend itself and stand upright. To become visible, vulnerable, and open to attack. To move out of hiding and make sounds that could draw attention.

Sweat drenched my torso, and I could feel it dripping down my back, beneath my jacket.

My fingers shook. My teeth clenched so hard it made my jaw ache.

But I did it.

Inch by inch, I beat back my instincts and my memories until I stood upright in the darkness.

“Tell me why I should trust you.” My voice cracked and broke with the effort of forcing myself to speak. I began to cough.

And that’s when the lights came on.

I hit the floor and rolled to the right, away from the light switch.

“Raine?”

Now that voice I knew.

I twisted to look up and saw Angelica looming over me with a perplexed and slightly dubious expression twisting her lips.

“What are you doing on the floor in the dark?”

She didn’t have to make it sound quite so suspicious.

“I came up here because Heather said you wanted to meet with me about tomorrow.”

Her eyes bored into me. “That’s patently absurd. Heather has been with me all evening in the first floor conference room, and she knows I had no need to meet with you. I only sent her out a few minutes ago to get me something for my headache.”

Oh crap.

“Then you may have a rogue fae glamoured as Heather running around the reception downstairs.” Probably counting on the mixed crowd to cover a scent that didn’t match external appearance.

Her eyes sharpened and took on a predatory gleam. “The saboteur.”

I wasn’t ready to tell her about my recent conversation just yet. “Seems likely.” At the very least, whoever was glamoured as Heather was probably working for the man I’d just spoken with. “We need to find her. It. Whatever. And we need to find the real Heather.”

For once, the two of us seemed to be on exactly the same page. We flew down the stairs, but just before we entered, Angelica grabbed my arm.

“Do not walk into that room until you fix your face. We don’t need the delegates realizing something is wrong until we know more.”

Right. Calm and in control. Take all that murderous rage and use it for good.

I wrapped up every bit of my churning emotions, pasted on what I hoped was a bland expression, and followed Angelica into the reception, every sense on alert. Looking for Heather. I was too short to see very far in the crowd, but Angelica’s heels gave her an advantage.

“I don’t see her here,” she muttered. “But whoever it was might have already escaped. We need to inform Callum.”

“On it.”

I could have found him with my eyes closed. Not because of my heightened shapeshifter senses, but because something in me simply knew where he was. Some part of me that was aware of the sound of his voice and the exact shape and tenor of his presence. When we first met, it would have been the sense of fear that alerted me—the sensation of being in the presence of a superior predator.

Now? I was almost afraid to analyze this feeling.

I found him deep in discussion with the wildkin delegation, and while his tone and expression did not change, I could tell he went on alert the moment I appeared at his elbow.

After a few more brief pleasantries, he excused himself from the conversation, turned to me, and motioned to the side of the room with a jerk of his head.

“What is it?”

For a moment, I couldn’t even answer. I was caught up in memories of the mysterious saboteur’s questions and accusations. What was Callum hiding? Did I dare ask? And what would I do if he refused to tell me?

“There may be a rogue fae,” I managed finally. “We’re pretty sure he or she glamoured themselves as Heather.”

Sparks flared in his amber eyes. “Damn. In a room this crowded, that might even work. Heather doesn’t really smell like a shifter, and there’s enough others with glamour to muddy the waters.”

Wait… “Why doesn’t Heather smell like a shifter?”

“Because she’s only half,” Callum explained patiently. “And she’s never manifested the ability to shift, so her scent is very weak. Similar to that of a human.”

My brain spun, considering the implications of that. “Does that mean… a shifter's sense of smell is actually detecting magic?”

“We aren’t totally sure of the mechanics,” Callum admitted. “But when we aren’t in our shifted form, it’s also harder to detect the differences between individuals. I can tell you when I smell fae, but not which one unless I know them well.”

Then… what did I smell like to him? He’d said at the beginning that he couldn’t identify it. Because it was a mix of all my magics, or because it was too close to being human? And did this mean the kids had no need to hide?

That was a question for later. I had to find Angelica.

“Raine, what is it?” Callum was looking positively thunderous.

“I might be wrong, but…”

I didn’t wait, just took off into the crowd. When I spotted Angelica in a corner, talking on the phone, I reached out, grabbed her arm and spun her around, a little more fiercely than necessary.

“Are you sure Heather was with you all evening? You didn’t send her on any errands at all?”

Angelica’s gaze was a mixture of puzzled and annoyed. “Well, of course I sent her on a few errands. That’s her job. But she was never gone longer than a minute or two.”

So it could have been Heather who lured me upstairs.

It could have been Heather who was the mole all along.

Shy, quiet Heather, who was terrified of dragons.

And if she didn’t smell like magic…

“Heather could have murdered those shapeshifters,” I murmured softly.