Chapter 12

CHAPTER 12

ALAN

I hugged Jason close, bracing us against the shaking that racked his body. I can't imagine how scary that was for him. I'd at least known I was okay and he was out there, safe and free. If I'd been the one left behind, worrying about him in enemy hands, not knowing… I pushed my face into the crook of his neck and kissed the warm skin under my mouth.

He gradually relaxed in my arms, then dragged in a shaky breath. "Crap. I got snot on your hair."

I had to laugh. "I need a shower anyhow. Better than on my shirt since I don't have a spare."

He let go of me and stepped back. "Sorry about the emo?—"

"Don't. Don't apologize for caring that much."

"Jesus, yeah." He rubbed the back of one wrist across his eyes. "Bad enough when they took you, but then they told us they had no record of you. Fuck."

"Sunny was our ace in the hole." I remembered the overwhelming relief when he'd appeared.

"I'm going to buy that bird fresh pineapple and mango for the rest of his unnatural life."

I rose on my toes to kiss Jason's damp cheek. "Let me pee and shower and then we'll see if we can fit ourselves into one of those beds."

"It's good to have goals." He managed a wobbly grin and waved at the other side of the curtain. "I'll be right out there."

The toilet was a relief. The shower worked by dumping a bucketful of warm water over my head when I pulled the chain. And yet it magically refilled, so when I'd soaped my skin and— wincing at the lack of options— lathered my hair with the bar of soap I found in the holder, another chain-pull rinsed me clean. The soap smelled of unfamiliar herbs, soothing and yet invigorating. Maybe it wouldn't fry my hair.

A freestanding rack by the canvas tent wall held several thick towels. I dried myself quickly and pulled my stale clothes back on. The need to see Jason shoved me out of the bathroom corner with my hair still soaked. He sat on the edge of one of the beds, his shoes off but otherwise dressed. The way his face brightened when he saw me made my breath come easier. He held his arms wide, and I hurried over.

Before I could sit, he wrapped his arms around my waist and buried his face in my stomach. I slid my hands through his hair, tugging lightly until he sighed and looked up, then let me go and patted the bed. "It's going to be a tight fit."

"That's what he said." I grinned, suddenly full of light and laughter. "Come on, you and I can make anything work."

We got ourselves situated on the mattress with me on top. "Am I too heavy?"

"This is perfect." Jason pulled me close.

"I'm dripping water down your neck."

"I don't care if you don't."

"Not even slightly." I closed my eyes and breathed in the comforting scent of Jason's skin. "Mm."

After a few drifting minutes, he said, "I'm not as tired as I should be. I wonder how long we were passed out."

I realized I felt the same. Should be exhausted, especially after that use of my power. Wasn't. "Maybe that unconsciousness was more of a recharge than normal sleep."

"I'm not complaining." He kissed my ear.

"Me either." Guilt and worry made me restless. "We have to get back to Earth. I left Oscar there in the prison, and the other sorcerers. Roxi, too. I called her but she didn't hear me."

"Roxi?"

"A familiar with no sorcerer." I told him about how we met. "She vanished. Hunting, she said. A rodent who lives by eating insects, which makes her possibly not a rodent." I'd have to look it up. "I wish I'd been able to bring her with me. She'd have lots of sorcerers to choose from here. Well, magic people, anyhow. I don't know if they consider themselves sorcerers."

"We didn't see any familiars last time we were at the Carnival."

"There was that dog," I reminded him.

"Dog?"

"The one that spoke to you about the shoes?"

"Spoke to me? You'd think I'd remember that."

"You didn't know about magic then. You probably assumed it was a human you heard."

Jason said, "Wait. The yellow dog that winked at me? That was a familiar?"

"A person, anyhow." We hadn't been introduced. "But you're right, none of the Carnival folk seemed to have familiars at their side."

"I wonder why not."

"Maybe they don't need them the way sorcerers stuck on Earth do."

"Hah!" Sunny popped into view above the next bed. "You admitted you need me. No take-backs."

"You saved me from… whatever Underhill's planning." I sat up, squishing Jason's legs. "And that just goes on the long list of hell, yeah, I need you . Don't know what I'd do without you."

Sunny cocked his head. "You'd manage." He cackled. "Badly, no doubt, and without my amazing flair, but you'd manage."

Jason worked his legs out from under me and sat at my side, an arm around my back. "Why'd you come find us, Sunny? Is there news?"

"Well, Erin wanted to know if it was safe to come in here without seeing anything she'd need eye-bleach for. Alan's like her younger brother."

"She has amazing faith in my stamina," I joked.

Erin swept the door flap aside enough to stick her head in. "I know how young guys are."

I gestured up and down myself. "Completely clothed. Come on in."

As she did, Sunny said, "We also found that little twerp Kevin."

Jason stiffened. "Where is he?"

"Dale and the unicorn are talking to the NSEP guard in the big top." Sunny squawked a laugh. "Things I never thought I'd say."

Erin frowned. "Is Dale safe?"

"In a fight between Kevin and the unicorn, I'm betting on the unicorn. And Coal's keeping watch. He's no slouch either."

"I suppose so. But Dale… with all the wonders of the Carnival, why are they hanging out with Kevin?" Erin's distaste was clear in her voice.

I suggested, "Kevin's NSEP, but he sure seems young and scared. You know Dale. They'd want to help."

Jason grunted. "That's Underhill's kid, though."

"Yeah, poor guy." When Jason stared at me, I said, "What? You of all people know what it's like living under bad parental expectations." Jason had pretended to be straight for thirty-six years to please his father.

"I wouldn't say bad ."

I raised an eyebrow at Jase.

"Okay, not great. But it's not like I became a kidnapper to please him."

"I didn't say it was the same thing, but I bet Underhill Senior is not only much worse than your dad, but damned hard to stand up to. And Dale's parents were awful, so they might have more empathy for Kevin."

Erin said, "We need to know what NSEP's planning. We need whatever Kevin can give us. Zahira said she was willing to try a truth spell on him."

I flinched and my magic curled uneasily in my core. Truth spells weren't dark magic, but they were a violation, even if the recipient agreed to one. To have your mind and voice controlled like that gave me the creeps. "Would it even work on a human?"

"Probably. I think so." Erin scrubbed her fingers through her hair. "We have to do something. If we're going back— and I want to go back— then we need to know what we're walking into. Do we go to France and try to bring Darien and Silas with us? Do we go back to the prison? What if everyone is gone? Or what if real Homeland Security is waiting to arrest us all? The sorcerer side of NSEP may not know what Underhill is up to, if we believe Waidner, but what if Homeland does and approves?"

Sunny said, "Give Dale some time first. That kid believes in human goodness so hard, sometimes it comes true."

After what they went through as a younger teen, Dale's faith in people was some kind of miracle. But there was no denying that light shone out of them and helped make them the Healer they were becoming.

Erin gave a curt nod. "I guess a few hours won't hurt. What should we do in the meantime?"

"Sleep? Eat? Recharge? Enjoy the Carnival?" Sunny clicked his beak. "Check out the Flying Galliers practicing? That's as close to real flight as humans can get."

"I want to talk to Madame Persephone," I decided. "Come with me, Jase?"

"You're not getting rid of me for a while." He took my hand in a warm clasp but his smile still held a little wobble, the words more emphatic than humor. I squeezed his fingers.

"I'm going to take a nap." Erin sat on one of the bunks, kicked off her sneakers, and swung her feet up. "I'm not twenty anymore and a jailbreak isn't anything I ever imagined doing."

"We'll get out of your hair." I tugged Jason up with me. "You might want to comb that hair, though, Erin. Looks like a bird nested in it." Speaking of siblings.

She threw me a glare.

Jason gestured at a corner of the tent. "My pack seems to have ended up in here. There's a comb in the front pocket."

Erin closed her eyes. "Thanks. At least one of you has manners. Now let me sleep."

The sun had risen higher when we emerged from the tent, but still lit a landscape of arid rocks and soil. My power was tempted to sink deep into the ground and find the hint of water and life that had lurked there. I held back, though. I might need every ounce of strength later, and Errante had said this world would improve, eventually.

Madame Persephone's tent had been a small purple one, tucked away by the rides last time. Jason and I strolled past tents of other colors, looking for purple. A few folks out and about waved to us. That golden dog trotted our way from behind a booth and wagged his tail. In a growly voice, he said, "Jason! Was I right about the shoes or was I right?"

Jason choked. "Um, you remember me?"

"Never forget a scent. I'm Darius." He glanced to the left. "Oops, gotta go. If you come by when we're performing, check out me and Stanley." Plumed tail waving, he trotted off.

"Well." Jason let go of me to drag his hand over his face. "Did I insult him last time?"

"You ignored him. I expect he's used to it." In fact, from the wink we got last time, I thought he might enjoy being underestimated.

"Okay, purple." Jason strode on, forcing me to scurry to catch up. "Where's the purple tent?"

A tall, bald man came out of the deep-blue tent we were passing, shirtless, stretching in the sunshine. I took a long look because he was worth a moment's admiration, all smooth mahogany skin and rippling muscles, biceps that put even Jason's to shame, and the kind of six-pack that most people only got with photoshopping. Ropes of gold jewelry draped around his rock-hard pecs and fat dark nipples, a few chains dangling almost to his narrow waist, which accentuated a bubble butt?—

Jason nudged me and murmured, "You're drooling."

"Like you weren't looking too," I muttered back. We'd long ago agreed that looking was natural, and we weren't going to get our panties in a twist if our partner ogled some hot guy.

"Maybe a little." Jason took a short breath. "It still feels weird, to look at a guy out in the open and not care who notices."

"I noticed," the man called over to us.

I chuckled to see Jason's pale skin go red.

"And I don't mind." The man ran a hand from his thick neck down his chest and flipped a pendant on its chain. "If I minded, I'd wear a shirt, right? You two say you were looking for Persephone?"

"Do you know where we can find her?" I asked.

"That way, over by the food booths. Has a weakness for strawberries and cream, our Persephone. Look for that booth and you'll find her tent."

"Thanks."

"Abdullah," he told us. "You want any fire eaten, you come see me."

"Could've been useful last summer," I suggested. "We had an encounter with a firedrake."

Abdullah raised a hand and gave a booming laugh. "Ah, no, I don't consume entities. Tame fire only. Welcome to our Carnival."

Jason turned to watch him stride off, his loose linen pants billowing above strong calves and outlining that ass. I watched Jason.

He glanced at me and laughed. "Busted?"

"Totally." I grabbed his hand in mine again. "Come on. Strawberries."

We eventually located a booth wrapped in a red seeded fa?ade with a pointed, swirled white roof. The sign proclaimed, "Love in One Luscious Bite."

Looking back at the tents, we spotted a purple one sitting beside the teal and yellow as if it'd always been there. Which, of course, it had been. We'd just missed it. Twice. Hm.

"Should we bring her some strawberries?" Jason asked. "As a gift? She was impressive before I knew this stuff was real."

"Not a bad idea."

The food booth seemed closed as we neared it, but before we could turn away, the shutters opened and a middle-aged woman peered down at us. "Welcome. Are you here for luscious bites of love?"

"I guess?" Jason eyed the menu behind her that just said, Strawberries, Cream, More Cream, Sprinkles. "What does Madame Persephone like?"

"Ah, she gets cream, more cream. And sprinkles. She read someone's future once in the sprinkle pattern on their plate."

"One of those, then."

"Coming right up." The woman rummaged behind her and passed me a paper dish full of small red berries, liberally smothered in a whipped-cream blanket. "Here, you do it." She handed me a shaker with multicolored sprinkles. "Be generous."

Is this some kind of test? Will this determine my future? Before I could overthink something so simple, I shook out a swath of granular candy across the white cream. The sprinkles immediately began to melt, a rainbow of colors spreading out.

"And for you." The woman gave Jason another dish with two giant stem-on berries, each with one perfect cream swirl. "Feed them to each other. For love. For luck."

"What do I owe you?" he asked, taking the dish.

"Don't give up," she said. "Keep love alive." She backed up, pulling the shutters closed behind her with a solid click.

"Well." Jason eyed the closed booth blankly, then raised one berry by the stem. "I guess we have our orders. Here." He held the fruit out my way.

I ate it from his fingers, nipping the strawberry off the stem. Perfect tangy sweetness and smooth rich cream melded in my mouth. "Wow. Your turn." I fed him the other big berry, watching the delight cross his face at the flavors.

"Bet it's even tastier on your tongue." Jason dropped the empty dish in the trash barrel, pulled me close, and bent to kiss me. Our mouths met, the essence of summer flavoring our kiss.

I love this man so much. I grabbed the back of his neck and tried to eat him alive, lips and tongue and breath, turning the kiss hot, wet, feral?—

Until Sunny whistled from nearby, "You're dumping the strawberries and scaring small children."

I let Jason go and glanced down to find I was holding the plate at an angle, but the fruit was still safe. I flashed Sunny, perched on the booth roof, a middle finger. Jason's cheeks had reddened, but he was smiling widely. I told him, "Pretty damned good PDA."

"I'm getting there."

"You sure are." Taking his hand, I turned to the purple tent. "Let's get our fortunes told."

The front flap of Madame Persephone's tent was pulled back, the entrance revealed. That was probably an invitation, but as we stepped inside, the deep, thick tide of her power rolled over me and I remembered how outmatched I'd felt. Do we want to do this?

Too late, though. The seer looked up from her chair at the table and nodded. "Jason. Alan. We meet again."

"Yes, ma'am," Jason said.

"Come sit down and cross my palm with silver. We'll skip the twenty bucks this time."

I set down the strawberries on a side table and put my hands together to wai the seer, bowing my head deeply, nose to my thumbs as appropriate for a respected elder. "Thank you for seeing us on your day off."

"Sit, sit." She waved to the same chairs we'd used last time. "It may be a day off, but this planet is boring. Two handsome young men brighten the dull hours."

Jason shot a quick look at me. I wondered if he couldn't sense the ageless depth of her, behind the face of a woman too young to legally drink. The candles in the corners of the tent flickered but didn't drive back the darkness. Their light shimmered across Madame Persephone's smooth skin and vanished in her timeless eyes.

"Sit," she repeated.

I let Jason go first and took the chair next to him. Power moved over the drapes behind the seer like the rainbow shimmer of gasoline on water. I said, "Your words were very helpful last time, Madame. We were able to send the firedrake back to its home."

"A firedrake!" She smiled. "Yes, that was it. Flames and burning. I'm pleased you survived. And now you're back to ask me to look into the timelines again?"

"If you would," Jason said.

"Looking is not the problem," she murmured. "What you do with the information… ah, that's where life gets complicated. Very well." She lifted the crystal ball on its wooden pedestal to the center of the table and raised an eyebrow at Jason.

He returned a safely bland look. I was glad he knew enough not to joke about her craft now.

Madame Persephone held out her hand. "Silver?"

I reached for my pocket, then realized I had nothing. Jason handed over a quarter and she tossed it in the air. At the top of its glittering arc, the coin vanished. The air in the room stilled, gaining weight, thickness. I took a slow breath.

"Right. Join hands, you two," she directed. "Then place your other hands on the crystal, one on each side."

Power darted around the room, tugging at my senses, gathering near the ball, which began to glow with a white inner core. The scent of incense rose, though I didn't see any smoke. My tongue felt thick in my mouth and I swallowed.

Jason clasped my fingers and laid his wide palm on one side of the crystal ball, curving his fingers around its shape. Slowly, I raised my free hand and touched the opposite side. A crackling arc like in a plasma globe flashed across from my palm to his.

"Yes," Madame Persephone said. "And now…"

I was afraid she might put her hands over ours. My magic yearned toward the deep well of her power, but I didn't want that force too close. Instead, she put her hand over the top of the crystal. Filaments of light danced from the white center to her touch, then Jason's and mine. The light built, flashing, branching, arcing, until the entire globe filled with white. Then the globe went dim and an aperture opened within it, an image spreading across the interior.

I saw a grassy meadow rimmed by evergreen trees in a tangle of wild forest. Then a dark spot appeared in the center of the ball. One moment it was small, a pinhole, a dust mote, but then the darkness grew, spreading outward, not so much covering as eating its way larger and larger. The scene began to warp, as if being sucked into a black hole, colors running, shapes stretched into the consuming blackness, then gone. For the first time, I sensed something from the vision, a hunger, a presence, oddly familiar in its whiff of smelting metal and ash. Life, but not as we know it. I'd been flippant before, but I didn't feel that way now.

The dense darkness in the center reached for me, drawn by heat and light and life. That hunger wanted me, wanted to eat my power and grow. An aching tug started in the center of my palm and my shields sprang to life, pushing my hand off the globe, whipping protectively around Jason as well to lift his palm off the crystal.

Madame Persephone grunted and the globe flashed brilliant white, then back to dull translucence. I let go of Jason and tamed my shields inside to where they belonged, throwing him a look of apology. Madame Persephone whisked the globe over to the side table and draped a black scarf over it. I thought I heard her mutter, "And stay there." She turned back to us. "You do have a problem, don't you?"

"What was that?" Jason asked.

I rubbed my palms together, trying to massage away the odd feeling in my skin, waiting for her answer.

"There are all kinds of powers in the universe. Some are creative, some are destructive, but most are both. A volcano erupts and the lava kills all in its path as it creates a new mountain ridge. A cougar consumes a deer and grows stronger. A deer eats a young tree. The key is balance. A world needs the volcano and the deer."

That was pedantically obvious, something Morrison would say, or Sylvester, when they didn't want to give me a straight answer. I wondered if she was buying time. She'd looked unsettled in the moment before I'd lifted my hand.

"Can you translate for us ordinary people?" Jason asked. I had a sudden urge to kiss him.

"On this world where we now sit, power's balance is far to one end of the scale. Life clings to tiny pockets amid a sea of lava and rock. On a world I once visited, life had gained such an upper hand that the plants smothered the ground, growing on and over each other until the deepest layer began to decay in the dark. Sometimes balance needs a helping hand."

"From us?" I asked.

"Perhaps, though not alone. No one man's power could tame that destruction we saw, but men are not the only powers in the universe." She pushed back from the table and stood. "Go on, now. I have knickknacks to rearrange, silverware to polish. And strawberries to eat." With a sweeping hand gesture, she had us up on our feet and moving out of the tent. As soon as we hit the sunshine, the flap behind us fell closed with a muffled thump.

"Well." Jason met my gaze. "How much of that did you understand?"

"I guess it'll come clear in context. Like that heart of mag-white fire last time." Magnesium in a pendant I'd been wearing had turned out to be key, something we figured out in the heat— not metaphorically— of the moment.

Jason shivered. "That black hole stuff was creepy."

It was terrifying. My shields had reacted automatically. Nothing should've been able to reach out of a mere vision, but I couldn't shake the feeling the darkness had seen me through the glass, and wanted me. Remembering, I tucked my power deeper in my core, keeping even the slightest tendril away from the roiling magma below the surface of this world. I was sure the vision had been Earth, not here, but the flavor was too similar for comfort.

Coal came sweeping down from overhead. "There you are. Gentleman Jim is teaching the humans to throw knives. Come take a turn."

I wanted to say no, drag Jason back to the tent, and confirm that we were alive and well. But if Erin was sleeping, she wouldn't appreciate being woken, and who knew— the Carnival was magic. Maybe knife throwing would come in handy one day.

"All right. Lead the way."

We followed Coal in his low flight between the tents and out to an open area. A few targets had been set up on the sandy ground, and Zahira, Sylvester, and Erin stood listening to a brown-haired man in a denim shirt and chaps.

Erin. That means our tent is empty.

Before I could grab Jason and suggest we'd changed our minds, Erin spotted me and waved. "Hey, over here. Check this out."

The man in the Western outfit picked up five knives off a table beside him. One by one, he tossed them in the air in a simple fountain, expertly catching the handles. Then as each knife came down, he threw it at a target. The center red ring bristled with handles as the last knife thunked home beside the others.

"Wow," a voice said behind me.

I turned to find Kevin Underhill, flanked by Dale on one side and the unicorn on the other, with Sunny fluttering overhead. The young guard's face looked splotchy and he hugged his arms across his middle, but his wide-eyed attention was fixed on our knife expert.

"I'm Gentleman Jim." The thrower turned to us, picking up another knife and turning it in a flashing spin with one hand. "Joining the lesson? The more the merrier."

"Us?" Dale asked. "Kevin and me?"

We are not arming the NSEP bozo with a knife.

I tried to bore that message into Dale's head but they ignored me. "Can we?"

"Come on over here then, you two." Gentleman Jim beckoned. "Knife throwing 101 is about to begin." He pointed at a row of blades on the table. "One of you come up here beside the table, the rest stand over there." He pointed to one side. "The first rule is, never stand in front of or behind a novice thrower."

"I'll go first," Zahira insisted. She stepped up into position.

"Let me bring the target in closer," Gentleman Jim told her.

"Oh, not on my account." Zahira picked up the first knife, balanced the handle on her palm for a moment, then closed her hand on the grip, raised the knife back behind her head, and threw. The blade rotated as it flew and landed on the edge of the center spot, an inch of the tip sunk deep.

"Well done," Gentleman Jim said. "It'll strike even deeper with a little more follow-through, but I can see you've worked hard."

Zahira gave him a dark look, picked up another knife, and threw it faster. The blade sank almost two inches but into the second ring. "Or I could cheat." She glanced at Erin, then Gentleman Jim. "With your permission?"

He gestured. "Show us what you've got."

Picking up the third knife, she hummed under her breath. The shine of the blade brightened. This time, when she released the knife, it flew like a missile, no tumble, no spin, just a silver arrow leaping across space to bury itself to the hilt in the dead center of the target.

Gentleman Jim said, "Hold!" and walked to the target. His arm and shoulder muscles flexed and bunched under the denim as he worked that embedded knife free, then collected the rest. When he came back, his gait and expression were as casual as when I'd first seen him, but he balanced the bespelled knife on his palm while setting the others on the table. He stared down at the shining blade. Then he turned to Zahira and held the knife to her, handle out. "This one wants to stay with you."

"Oh, I'm sorry. Here, let me deal with that." She reached for the knife, but he pulled it back.

"You misunderstand me. A mage-smith with no blade is incomplete. This one is yours." He held the knife out again with a tiny bow. "A gift, from one lover of good steel to another."

Zahira's eyes widened. She set her hand on the dull metal of the handle, then slowly closed her fingers around it. "I'll treasure it. Thank you. If you have any knives that need mending, let me know. I'm pretty good at that."

Gentleman Jim nodded. "I'll take you up on your offer later." He ran his sharp, gray-eyed gaze over the rest of us. "Who's next?"

Erin turned, her eyes meeting Dale's. They held some kind of silent conversation, as I'd seen them do a hundred times. I didn't think it was telepathy or anything, just a recognition that went down deep. Dale inclined their head, Erin raised a brow, Dale nodded, Erin's lips pinched. Then she sighed. "Kevin's next."

"Hey, wait!" Jason complained before I could. "We're just going to let that bastard throw knives around? He tried to shoot us, shoot Alan. Have you forgotten?"

"He's sorry," Dale said. "He never actually hurt anyone. Let Kevin try this."

"You don't have to." The young guard hunched further in on himself. "Dude's right. I might've shot someone if you all hadn't stopped me. You shouldn't trust me with anything."

"But you didn't hurt anybody." Dale rounded on him. "You said this was cool. I want to try it too, but you have to go first. Come on." They stepped toward the table, waving emphatically.

Kevin eyed Jason, Erin, then me, his expression wary.

Beside him, the unicorn said, "Hey, Jim, throw!"

Instantly, a knife flashed through the air toward the unicorn's head. With a toss of white mane, the invisible horn slashed through the air and knocked the knife down to land on the dirt beside its front hooves. The unicorn said, "Between the lady smith and me, you're safe from errant blades. Let the boy try it."

Erin looked my way, and I raised my hands in surrender. I wasn't going to argue with Dale, Erin, and a unicorn, even if the sight of Kevin, still in his black uniform, walking up to a table of knives made my stomach lurch. He wasn't Poe. He wasn't his father. He'd been the fucking meal-tray carrier, but that uniform was not my favorite sight.

Jason put his arm around my shoulders and tucked me in against him. "Your friends are weird, babe. Though in a good way."

"I hope so," I said, watching as Kevin and Dale bent their heads together over the table before Dale stepped back. "I hope like hell we all know what we're doing."

Gentleman Jim dragged a target in close, then stood behind Kevin, guiding him through a grip and throw. The first knife hitting the ground a mere six feet out in front reassured me. By Kevin's third flubbed throw, I relaxed against Jason and waited for my turn to try.