31. Kitaro

Chapter 31

Kitaro

K itaro was increasingly concerned about Vanra since the human had been acting strange after his dream that previous night. As Kitaro's dragon had been in full control once more to indulge in Vanra's heat scent, he had been overly aware of him growing aroused from a dream. Kitaro's dragon had disobeyed him to caress Vanra with his claws in encouragement, having already figured out that the mage found that particularly stimulating.

It had been deeply disappointing when Vanra had woken up and locked himself in the bathroom to take care of himself. But it had given Kitaro the opportunity to do the same thing. With his dragon in control, he could not resist the tantalizing combination of Vanra's heat scent mixing with his arousal.

Kitaro couldn't stop wondering what Vanra had dreamed about that moved him to the need for immediate sexual release. His dragon was confident it was them, but Kitaro feared Vanra had been dreaming about his companion from his own time. The thought made Kitaro burn with a dark jealousy he had no right to feel. But it was difficult to abolish the feeling.

Afterward, Vanra never returned to bed. Instead, he sulked by the fireplace while Kitaro politely pretended to be asleep. He allowed Vanra to skip lunch by saying the amulet was too draining after the previous day's training. But the human had secluded himself on the outside veranda for hours. Kitaro understood he was likely embarrassed by what had happened, but it needed to be addressed.

He knocked on the door before sliding it open to reveal a sullen Vanra blankly staring out over the castle gardens. He frowned when his presence made the human flinch, but he tried not to take it personally.

Kitaro walked closer and held out a warm, curry-stuffed bread that he knew was one of the mage's favorite things their chefs baked. "I thought you might be hungry."

It was a relief when Vanra accepted it gratefully instead of rebuffing him.

"You must keep your strength up," Kitaro said as he sat near Vanra. He leaned against a pillar to make himself comfortable. He knew the mage would be more likely to eat if he wasn't the only one, so Kitaro ate a sugared bread snack that he had always loved. "How are you feeling? "

"Still out of sorts." Vanra's expression was remorseful. "I'm sorry if I've ruined your plans for the day."

"I had nothing planned," Kitaro reassured him as he continued to eat. "The day is yours to do as you wish."

Vanra looked up at the sky with a heavy sigh. "I thought about going to the temple, but it's just not the same here. It only makes me miss my brother more."

"I can imagine it must be difficult for something so familiar to be completely changed."

The human shifted his gaze to the large pond where various fish were swimming. He was quiet for a long moment before confessing, "I feel like such a fraud. I'm a lousy excuse for a mage. My sanctuary here is predicated on my relationship with my companion, but I broke up with him. I don't belong anywhere."

Kitaro had expected to be discussing the dream incident, so the focus of Vanra's conversation caught him slightly off guard. "It is a good thing you finally told your companion you were done with him and his philandering ways."

"Your dad would probably kick me out of the clan if he knew I broke up with my companion, though."

Kitaro's dragon preened with victory, confident that meant Vanra had chosen them. Rather than joining in the celebration, Kitaro focused on reassuring the miserable human. "The debt my father owes you for saving your companion's life is why you stay with us. It was not contingent upon you being in an ongoing romantic relationship with him. You being separated changes nothing about your place here."

"Romantic relationship," Vanra sarcastically repeated with a scoff. "That man doesn't have a single ounce of romance in him."

"It seems he has quite a few disconcerting failings."

Vanra laughed bitterly. "That's one way of putting it." He sighed as he banged his head against the pillar behind him. "He's so awful in so many ways. What does it say about me that I was willing to stay with someone who treated me so badly for so long?"

"It says that you have a great deal of patience and possess the optimism to hope that he might one day be better than he is."

Vanra buried his head in his hands. "Why am I such a fucking fool?"

Kitaro arched an eyebrow at hearing a mage swear. "You are many things, but a fucking fool is not one of them."

Vanra laughed hard. "That's not fair! How can you make swearing sound so elegant?"

"I am a man of many talents," Kitaro retorted with mock arrogance.

Vanra's mirth disappeared into a pained groan. The teasing hint of arousal Kitaro smelled gave him a good idea of where the mage's mind had gone.

Kitaro wanted to put the human at ease about the other issues. "Not going to the temple does not make you a bad mage."

Vanra scoffed as he began a list on his fingers. "No, it's just the never praying, never attending services, not missing them at all, the occasional swearing, and the refusal to live a life free from lust like they preach." He scowled. "I never would have been involved with the temple if my mother hadn't arranged for us to live there after she died. That's part of why I'm gone all the time. I don't have to deal with all the rituals and ceremonies."

Kitaro's dragon perked up at the mention of lust, but he forced it down. "I was unaware you were required to be celibate."

The human stared up at the sky once more. "It's more a strongly suggested tenant of practice that probably about ninety percent of them observe. I know there are a lot of complaints about me with the elders, who are extremely disapproving of my ‘less than savory' relationship with my companion. Well, my ex-companion now, I guess."

"And yet, despite your intimacy with him, you are still a virgin," Kitaro stated.

Vanra turned bright red. "How can you tell?"

"Your scent is still pure. But I fail to see why that is distressing to you. It is not as if I am any different in that regard."

Vanra hid his face in his hands with a groan. "I don't want to know what else you can tell from my scent."

"I find it a curious situation," Kitaro admitted, amused by Vanra's embarrassment. "You have been with your companion for some time, and you are clearly intimate in other ways, and yet he has never laid claim to you."

"He always told me he was too afraid to do more than fool around because he feared his dragon would claim me as mate. He was adamant he didn't want that to happen to me," Vanra explained. "And yet, he had no problem running away to have sex with his ex without becoming bondmates. He always explained it away as I was too human. I certainly wasn't the one who banned him from sex."

"Forgive me for being grateful you are not eternally tied to his selfish stupidity," Kitaro said, meaning it more than Vanra knew. He was curious why a half-shifter would claim to have a dragon when only full shifters possessed a shifted animal form. Either things were different in the future, or Vanra's companion was lying to him. It didn't feel like the right time to ask for more details, though. The less Vanra thought about his former companion, the better off Kitaro would be.

Vanra made an amused noise. "It used to really bother me, but I'm so grateful it didn't happen. Now that I know there could be so much more…"

"You are not beholden to your companion any longer. You are free to do whatever you wish." Kitaro's dragon rattled in his cage, demanding the human choose them.

Vanra scoffed again. "Am I? Because it sure doesn't feel like it."

"And what is it you wish to do that you feel you cannot do?" Kitaro tried not to get his hopes up too much.

"I'm not saying there's anything specific," Vanra demurred. "It's more of a general thing."

"These thoughts kept you from returning to bed last night?"

Vanra blanched. "Please tell me I didn't wake you up yesterday."

"No," Kitaro denied, causing Vanra to look relieved before he added, "I was already awake before then."

Vanra once again hid his face with an anguished noise. "I'm going to die of embarrassment at this rate."

"Given how often you get embarrassed, I would think you have built up quite a tolerance to dying from it," Kitaro teased, trying to lighten the mood for Vanra.

"This can't be happening!"

"Do not be so distressed. It is a common thing. You have sufficient proof from yesterday morning that I am not immune to such things," he reminded Vanra.

Vanra scowled. "That was different. My heat scent influenced you. I don't have any excuse. "

"You are male," Kitaro countered in amusement, intrigued by the hint of arousal he could detect emanating off Vanra. "Such things are an unfortunate side effect."

"You're supposed to be disgusted with me!"

"I do not see why I should feel such a way," Kitaro told him with a shrug. "You did not appear disgusted when it was me, so why should I be?"

"You would if you knew what I was dreaming about," Vanra muttered.

It was the perfect opportunity to get details. "Perhaps it was about your wayward companion?"

Vanra wrinkled his nose in disgust. "Ugh, at this point, that would be a nightmare."

"Did you dream about finishing what my dragon started?"

"You must hate me," Vanra said, hanging his head in shame.

Kitaro's dragon reveled in the victory of having affected Vanra in such a way. It took a genuine effort to prevent him from fully surfacing to make inappropriate overtures. "Far from it."

"I don't know how." Vanra sighed as he stole a side glance at Kitaro.

"Please stop punishing yourself for such a thing." Kitaro didn't want Vanra to feel bad about the matter. "It is completely unnecessary."

"But self-inflicted punishments and feeling guilty all the time are the only mage things I'm good at," Vanra joked, grateful to have a way out of the humiliating conversation.

Kitaro chuckled. "Luckily for you, you are good at many other things."

"I don't know about that," Vanra bashfully replied.

"Would you enjoy going for a walk in the city?" Kitaro suggested. "It is far more satisfying than ruminating."

"I'd like that," Vanra agreed as he stood up and stretched.

Pleased that he had resolved Vanra's concerns, Kitaro followed him inside to get ready to leave.