20. Auslin

Chapter 20

Auslin

E ven after resting, Auslin felt drained after using so much of his power the day before. Kitaro was kind enough to let the human rest, so he headed to the library while the shifter prince was with his father.

Kitaro had told Auslin where it was, but he got hopelessly lost in the maze of the sprawling castle. Although it was embarrassing, he had no choice but to ask someone to show him the way. While the servant seemed gratified to help, Auslin still felt bad. He thanked the servant when they reached their destination, who bowed in acknowledgment before leaving.

Unsure of the protocol, Auslin knocked before entering. The sight of books that went farther than the eye could see awed him. It was a cavernous room, with vaulted arches several stories in the air.

Everywhere he looked were floor-to-ceiling books. He breathed in the scent of old paper and ancient wisdom as he walked into the enormous space.

As eager as he was to lose himself in the shelves, he didn't want to explore without permission. He hesitantly called out, "Hello?" He immediately winced at how loud it sounded in the silent library. With a whispered apology, he took a few more steps to see if he could catch sight of anyone.

After a few moments, he could sense someone on his left. A pair of yellow eyes peeked out from behind a bookshelf to watch him.

Auslin gently reached out with his aura to show he came in peace. "Hi, I'm Vanra. Is it okay for me to be here?"

The shifter blinked in response but said nothing.

"Kitaro told me I could come here, but I can go if it's a problem," Auslin offered, although he really hoped he didn't have to leave such a beautiful place so soon. "I don't want to intrude if it bothers you."

"You are the human Kitaro is watching after?"

"I am. Are you Prince Kisano?"

He still hid behind the bookshelf. "Yes."

Auslin gave him a friendly smile. "I'm so glad I finally get to meet you!"

"You are?" Kisano revealed a little more of himself. He had cream-colored hair that was pulled back in a braid. It was surprising to see he was shorter than Auslin. He wore a simple black tunic with pants that lacked the fancy accoutrements that Auslin had grown accustomed to from Kitaro's flashier wardrobe.

Whereas every other member of Kitaro's family Auslin had met so far had striking markings on their skin, Kisano had only the faintest wisps of pale amber lines that might as well not have been there at all.

"I am," Auslin assured him. "I love reading, so I've really been looking forward to meeting you. I'd enjoy exploring your library, but only if you're comfortable with it."

Curiosity replaced Kisano's fear. "You are not a warrior?"

"No, I hate fighting." Auslin wrinkled his nose in disgust. "Your father is insisting that I train, but I'd be much happier reading in here."

That finally drew Kisano from behind the shelves, but he kept some distance between them. "What do you like to read?"

"I've always enjoyed fiction and fantasy, but I read pretty much anything," Auslin replied. "My younger brother is a voracious reader, so I would always try to read whatever he did so we could talk about it."

"You would read to talk to your brother?" Kisano asked in surprise.

Auslin felt melancholy take hold of him as he remembered Sephen. "All the time. I was supposed to meet with my brother after my walk to talk about a new book from our favorite author, but I ended up here instead. "

"I am sorry." Kisano's expression turned sorrowful. "May I ask who your favorite author is?"

"Reskin."

Kisano's eyes widened in surprise. "Your favorite author is a shifter?"

"Do you know him?" Auslin asked, some excitement coming into his tone. "My brother and I have read everything of his that we have in our temple."

"Very well." Kisano tilted his head with a curious expression. "What kind of temple has books by a shifter author in their library?"

Auslin grinned at the comment. "Our temple is very open-minded about shifter and human interactions, so we have an extensive selection of shifter texts in our library. I've read most of them, but I'm sure my brother has read all of them at least three times. If it's a work by Reskin, then he's read every one of them at least ten times over."

"How unexpected."

"Actually, it's not just my brother and I who love Reskin," Auslin said. "He's popular with everyone in the temple. My younger brother is just the most fanatical of them all."

Kisano shook his head in amazement. "I would not have expected a shifter author to be so popular with human mages. Come, I have an entire section dedicated to him."

Auslin followed him. He breathed in awe at the sight of so many volumes of Reskin's work. He reached out for one before stopping to ask, "May I?"

Kisano gestured it was okay for Auslin to help himself.

Auslin reached for Sanctuary . He ran his hand over the beautiful black cover that had the title written in gold leaf. "This is probably both of our favorites." He carefully opened the book, although it was weird that it felt new and not ancient, like the temple copy. "Wow, this is a first edition? My brother would be so envious of me right now if he knew I was looking at this. He only has one first edition of another Reskin book, which is his most treasured possession."

"Why is this one your favorite?" Kisano asked.

"Because we both identified with Reskin's need for a sanctuary. For my brother, the library has always been his sanctuary, much like it is for Reskin. The library was usually too full of other mages to be much of a sanctuary for me, so I always sought refuge in reading alone outside whenever I could." Auslin looked up at Kisano. "You probably really identified with Reskin and his thoughts on libraries being a haven, right?"

The shifter blushed. "Indeed."

"I'm pretty sure my brother could quote this entire book by memory," Auslin said with a sad smile. "You'd really like him. He also loves anything by Liros."

"I also share a fondness for the Knowledge Power's work. You are free to explore my collection of him if you wish. But it is heartening to hear that your brother sounds like someone I could talk to. It is not something I can say about many people."

"My brother is pretty shy, but if he knew you liked Reskin and Liros, he would happily talk your ear off about him." Auslin laughed, but he felt a pang of hurt over being separated from Sephen.

Kisano's expression was sympathetic. "You must really miss him."

"Ah." Auslin closed the book and slid it back on the shelf. "It's only been the two of us after our mother died, so it's upsetting thinking of him being all alone without understanding why I've disappeared."

"Kitaro explained your situation to me. I am sorry this has happened to you."

Auslin bowed his head. "I appreciate that. Kitaro and your father are doing what they can to help me get home, for which I am most thankful. I'm trying to stay patient, but it's hard. If I could at least send a letter to my brother somehow and let him know I'm okay and trying to get home, maybe I wouldn't feel so awful."

"Have you tried? We have couriers."

"Somehow, I don't think writing a letter and throwing it through Fate's Gate is going to reach him in the future."

Kisano's expression turned sheepish. "Right. I forgot about the future part. But it still might be worth a try." Kisano flushed deeply. "I apologize. I should not have spoken so out of turn. Please forgive me."

Auslin reassured him with a warm smile. "There's nothing to forgive. I'm the one who should apologize to you. We've only just met, and I've already unnecessarily burdened you with my problems."

"No, I can understand why you would be upset over being forcibly parted from such a wonderful younger brother. I cannot imagine what I would do in your position, so far from your time."

"I would have been completely lost if I hadn't met Kitaro," Auslin confessed. "Without his kindness and understanding, I don't know what I would have done."

"It is fortunate for you that you met him and not our oldest brother."

That drew a laugh from Auslin. "You're not wrong. I've only met Mitsuki once, and that was more than enough. He terrifies me."

"I feel the same way," Kisano confessed. "Thankfully, he has not stepped foot in this library in centuries. I am rarely directly subjected to his hatred of me."

Auslin scowled. "One more reason for me to not like him. I've known you only a short time, and I can already tell you're a better person than he will ever be."

Kisano's blush returned. "I—I am not sure I would go that far. Despite his personal flaws, he is a fearsome warrior."

"That doesn't make him a good person. I'm pretty sure he doesn't have an ounce of decency in his whole body from everything that I've heard. I certainly wouldn't trust anyone who hated you."

"You are very kind, but I understand why Mitsuki finds me so objectionable."

"If he's too stupid to understand that being intelligent is as much a strength as being able to swing a sword, then he's an even bigger fool than I thought." Auslin shook his head with disapproval. "Who cares if he's a better fighter? You best him at everything else. That's probably why he hates you, because he knows he'll never be able to compare to you."

Kisano looked questioningly at Auslin. "Do you mean that?"

"I do. I've met his kind many times before. Under that infuriating superiority is almost always a raging inferiority complex."

"What an intriguing concept." Kisano bowed his head. "I thank you for your kind words. I really do not deserve them."

"You absolutely do," Auslin insisted. "I mean that with complete sincerity."

"Thank you."

"Would it be okay if I came here sometimes?" Auslin asked hopefully. "I'd love to come back and get to know you better."

Kisano stumbled over his words. "You…you would like to get to know me ?"

"Very much so. It looks like I'm destined to be here for some time, so it would be nice to have another friend."

"I have never had friends, other than Kitaro and Kizoshi."

Auslin took one of the shifter's pale hands in his and gave it a squeeze. "You do now."

Kisano squeezed his hand back. "You are welcome to come here anytime you would like."

"Thank you. It means a lot that you are willing to share your space with me."

Before Kisano could reply, the door opening interrupted them. His expression brightened as he gestured for Auslin to follow him to the main area. "Welcome," Kisano greeted his younger brother with a smile.

"I hope you are well." Kitaro shifted his attention to the human. "What do you think of the library?"

"It's amazing!" Auslin exclaimed, still in awe of the sheer size of the place. "Kisano has an amazing Reskin collection he showed me. I can't wait to see what else is here! He told me he also has an extensive collection of works by Liros."

"I understand your fascination with Liros because of your association with the Fate's Gate Temple, but Reskin?" Kitaro's eyebrows raised in surprise.

"He is my and my brother's favorite author."

Kitaro gazed at him in amazement. "You are always full of surprises. Kisano, it must shock you to hear that from a human mage, no?"

"It was most unexpected." Kisano still looked a bit awed by the information.

"I'll be back soon," Auslin promised, figuring Kitaro had come to collect him.

"I will look forward to it." Kisano waved at the two of them as they left.

F or the rest of the day, Auslin couldn't stop thinking about Kisano's suggestion of throwing a letter to Sephen through Fate's Gate. He knew it would hurt when it didn't work, but he at least had to try. "Do you have any paper I could use?" Auslin asked Kitaro.

"What kind of paper?"

"To write a letter on."

Kitaro gazed at him with curiosity. "Do you know someone else in this time?"

"I want to write to my brother." Auslin looked down at the floor in embarrassment. "It's stupid and probably won't work, but maybe I can send a letter through Fate's Gate to reach him. I hate he doesn't know I'm okay."

Kitaro nodded toward his desk. "There is paper in the top right drawer with a quill pen."

"Is it okay if I do it now?" Auslin asked. "It'll probably take me a little while, so I can wait until later if you prefer."

"Now is fine. Take all the time you need. We can go to the gate when you finish."

"Thank you." Auslin went over to the desk and pulled out some paper, along with a white feather tipped in an icy-blue ombre. It reminded him of Kitaro's eyes. "Where's the ink?"

"The quill is self-inking." He grinned at Auslin's surprised expression. "There is no need to dip it."

Auslin stared at it in amazement. "Dragon magic makes everything more convenient, doesn't it?"

"It does indeed."

With another word of thanks, Auslin sat down at the desk to write to his brother. Kitaro took a seat by the fireplace and began reading a book.

By the time Auslin explained what happened, he was already several pages into the letter. He had said almost everything he needed to express to his younger brother, but as Auslin subtly glanced over to where Kitaro was sitting, it brought to mind a different set of blue eyes that still haunted the mage.

It was probably weird to worry about Kitsuki when the shifter monarch likely hadn't noticed his disappearance, but he felt like he needed to address the matter. He hoped his request wouldn't be too onerous of a burden on his brother .

I know it's a lot to ask, but should your path cross with King Kitsuki's, I would appreciate if you could tell him I have taken his advice to go on a solo journey west.

Auslin still felt like something needed to be said, but he couldn't quite decide on the right words. He also couldn't understand why it felt so important to convey his apologies to the shifter monarch. Auslin was certain he was overestimating his importance to Kitsuki, but he hated thinking that somehow his disappearance would cause more pain to someone who had already experienced so much of it.

After some more thought, he finally added another paragraph.

Also, please apologize to him on my behalf for disappearing for so long without saying anything to him. He will think I'm foolish for worrying about it, but I'd still like him to know I hope we can talk again when I return.

Auslin was about to conclude his letter when it hit him he had prioritized sending a message to the dragon monarch over Kio. But the reason was obvious. Between the two half brothers, Kitsuki was the only one who had expressed concern over Auslin and his well-being lately. He genuinely seemed bothered by Kio's outrageous behavior toward him, strange as it was to the human.

It was a startling revelation that Auslin was more concerned with Kitsuki's feelings than Kio's, who most likely had already moved on with Maseo without another thought about Auslin's disappearance. It still hurt, but not as much as it once did.

Part of Auslin felt he was betraying Kio, but the pragmatic side of him argued that there was nothing left to betray when his boyfriend had moved on to be with Maseo.

Auslin couldn't fault Kio. Without Auslin there, nothing was standing in Kio's way of being with the half-wolf shifter. Why should Kio remain faithful during Auslin's absence when he couldn't even do it while the human was there with him? It should have been upsetting, but Auslin felt a numb sort of acceptance about everything.

Besides, there was a part of Auslin that had always felt like he was the interloper in Maseo's relationship with Kio. It was almost a relief to not have to think of himself as the other person who was probably hurting the half-wolf shifter every time Kio strayed. Despite all the reasons Auslin had to hate Maseo, it was impossible to be angry with someone he knew was hurting just as much by Kio's constant back and forth between them.

Neither King Kitsuki nor Kio can know the truth about where I am and who I'm staying with now. If Kio comes to bother you, tell him I went away and I don't know when I'll be back. He has my blessing to be with Maseo instead of waiting for me. We're officially over. That news should hopefully please King Kitsuki.

Rereading his words gave Auslin closure to the end of their relationship. Maybe by giving Kio permission to be free meant Auslin finally could be, too.

He looked at Kitaro again, who was elegantly draped in the oversized black leather chair while reading a book. When their gazes met, Auslin got hot all over at being the center of Kitaro's attention. It was further confirmation that the human was ready to be done with the shambles of his relationship with Kio. He was ready to find his own happiness that didn't involve getting betrayed on a regular basis.

Auslin wrote his conclusion by telling Sephen how much he loved him and to take care of himself. After giving his letter a final read over, he had said everything he had needed to say to his brother in case it was the only chance he ever got to send anything through time. He folded the paper and put it in an addressed envelope. It had a beautifully embossed silver foil dragon on the front.

"Finished?" Kitaro asked.

"Yes, thank you. Do you have a seal for the envelope?"

Kitaro set aside his book and walked over to the desk. He pulled out his sealing materials and created a shimmering silver seal that reminded Auslin of the shifter prince's markings. There was a beautiful dragon in the seal imprint for the Ariake clan. "Shall we go now?"

"If it's not too much trouble," Auslin requested. Hopefully, the Ariake clan seal would lend authenticity to his letter to Sephen.

"It is never any trouble." Kitaro's warm smile made Auslin's heart flutter. "Let us see if we can send word to your brother that you are safe and well taken care of now."