29. LEO

We arrived in Edinburgh from the train as it got dark. Daddy allowed me to take one teddy, Tuffy, and two onesies. He said it would be a quick break, and then he didn't tell me anything else until we were on the train, and he finally told me what had happened.

I didn't want him to give up being the boss. Mostly because I was scared about what would happen to him if people knew he wasn't the big boss anymore. It turns out he was still protected because he was part of the family.

At the hotel, the first thing I did was run around the penthouse suite. There was an amazing view of houses and the cobbled streets. But I was more interested in ticking something else off my world map, which I hadn't been able to bring with me.

"Want to order room service?" he asked, laid back on the bed. He was looking up at the ceiling. I wondered if he missed not having the mirror to watch himself on.

I leapt on top of him, bouncing on the soft bed. "Yes. What can I get?"

He reached for the menu on the bedside table by the phone. "Whatever you want."

"What are you gonna get?" I took the menu from him. "Why don't they have the prices on these?"

"I rarely look at the price anyway," he snickered as he wiggled on the bed, shaking me on top of him. "They're usually pretty good at doing whatever you ask for too. I think they'll have nuggets and French fries if I ask."

That sounded good. My belly let out a grumble. "Ok. I want that then."

"You want to get dressed in something comfier?" he asked, giving my upper thigh a grab. "Unless you want to go out somewhere. Maybe we can head out for a walk and see if there's a restaurant."

I sighed, laying across him. I placed my ear against his chest and listened to his fast heart. "No, I'm tired. We can explore tomorrow, and we're going to the zoo, and—" I froze.

"And, you get to see the pandas," he finished for me, taking the menu to look for himself. "But that's ok with me, it's been a long day, the funeral, the travel. I'm just glad I got to do it with you."

His heart raced faster as he said that. He was emotional, but I didn't want to mention it. I pulled myself off him and went to get changed into my panda onesie. I'd asked him on the train if I could wear this when we went to the zoo, but he said no, and the compromise was that I could wear some panda ears instead.

He tackled me from behind in a hug once I was dressed, lifting me high as he nuzzled at my neck. "Food will be thirty minutes," he said. "So, just hope it arrives, or I might be forced to eat you."

I wiggled free of his grasp. "You know it's illegal to eat pandas," I said.

Daddy laid back on the bed once more, he looked at the ceiling. "I know all about what's illegal," he said. "You know, we smuggle in illegal meat for rich clients too."

A shriek projected from my throat. "What?!"

"Never pandas though. It's ok. It was mostly zebra meat and pufferfish," he said.

I was stunned. "But—but they're like, aren't they—"

"They aren't pandas," he told me again.

I sat on the floor, ready to sulk. "Have you eaten them?"

"No, they're usually banned or something for a reason," he said. "I'm not going to put myself at danger like that. Most of it is seafood related and I've never been a fan of that, unless they're carrying millions of pounds worth of gems in their bellies."

I suppose I'd seen worse. I climbed on bed and cuddled up beside him. I wanted to ask more questions about it, but I also wanted to still be hungry for dinner when it arrived.

The food came in on a fancy cart with metal cloches over the plates. There was also a bucket of ice with a bottle of wine inside, and a big glass filled with strawberry milkshake and ice cream. My hungry hadn't disappeared.

He ordered a steak, medium rare, or whatever that meant. It was still a little pink inside, and I was worried it would make his belly upset. But he enjoyed it. And I enjoyed every single bite of my nuggets, fries, and the thick, creamy strawberry milkshake.

I was ready for bed, and maybe a lie-in. I hadn't had one of those for a while.

"What other animals do you want to see tomorrow?" he whispered as I laid on his chest and he stroked my head.

"All of them," I said. "That's a silly question. I want to see them all. And I want to take pictures to show Susie."

"One day we'll go to that place in China, the one you told me about," he said, kissing me on the forehead. "Now—" he yawned. "Let's get some sleep."

It was difficult trying to sleep with all the excitement swimming through my body. I was going to see the animals in person, the animals I'd dreamed for years of seeing, the ones I'd only seen on documentaries.

I did eventually get some sleep, and when I woke, I was in bed alone.

The hotel door opened as it bleeped. And Daddy walked in, all sweaty from a run.

"I needed it," he said. "Want to come shower with me?"

Now, I was awake.

I never wanted to miss an opportunity to see him get all naked, and better, never missing an opportunity for him to wash my body with his body. His hairy chest was a little bit like a soft sponge as he used it against me.

But I wasn't going to be distracted by him, or his horny trunk.

I'd been preparing for this visit for the last couple of days. I got some panda ears, and a t-shirt with pandas on them, it was an extra-large t-shirt, and I was a medium, but I liked the oversized look. I wondered if the pandas would know I was wearing it. Maybe they'd think I was one of them and invite me into the panda home for bamboo.

Daddy dressed down for the first time in a while. He wore a white t-shirt, a pair of blue jeans, and a jacket. You'd never tell he'd killed a whole bunch of people from how he looked. Maybe if you saw his knuckles, they weren't fully healed yet.

When we finally made it to the zoo, everything I saw overwhelmed me. There were exhibitions all over, and schedules written to tell you when different animals were getting their feedings. I wanted to see them all. And I think so did Daddy, because he perked up when they were talking about a big cat feeding. Those animals were vicious, so it's no wonder he liked them.

I dragged him away from all that schedule noise, and we went directly to the pandas. My body vibrated like I was about to be raptured by the panda gods as soon as I saw the images of them on the advertising posters.

There was a queue to see them. And no flash photography. I took deep breaths and held Daddy's hand so I didn't lose him, or he lose me, since I was ready to bolt in a moment's notice at the first sign I could see those pandas.

And there they were, behind the window. Just sitting, one of them on the climbing frame, and the other in a corner. They didn't even look at me, but I didn't blame them. People were overwhelming.

"They're so big," I whispered, looking up at him.

He smiled at me. "Stand there, and I'll take a picture of you."

"Ok, ok. But—but no flash, remember."

I blushed as he forced people to move so that he could take a picture of me. He did that very well, command people around. It's why I thought he should've stayed on as the boss. But he told me he could spend more time with me this way, and I couldn't complain about that.

So giddy with excitement, I'd finally done it. I'd seen the pandas in real life. The next step on my list was to hold one, but for now, this would do, and I wouldn't complain because it was more than I ever thought would happen.

I'd been to a zoo once before in my life, I think, a lot of my memories were hazy. I didn't know if that was something I'd done, or something I'd dreamed of doing vividly from all those TV shows I'd seen.

"I'll have a lot more free time now," he said as we sat down to eat in the animal themed restaurant. "We should see every animal."

"No. I don't want you to give everything up."

"Leo," he said, stroking my face. He didn't even care if people were watching us. He stared deep into my eyes. "I'm not giving anything up. I'm happy. For the first time in a while, I don't have this stress to make the tough decisions in front of me. And for what it's worth. Giving the reins of the company to Rebekah, even if it's only temporarily, is one of the easiest decisions I've made in a while."

I was cautious of the people around us. I saw their eyes dart at us from across the tables. I held Daddy's hand as he pressed it to my face. "I think I want to work with animals. Maybe not in a zoo, but like maybe a pet store or something."

He grinned. "We own a couple pet stores," he said. "That's were Elias started, and why he's obsessed with snakes."

My immediate head shake was an accurate response. "Maybe like dogs or cats, or something. No snakes or mice, or bugs, or anything like that."

"I've waited years to find someone who accepted me for the things I've done, someone who knows how I operate, and they don't care," he said.

"You know," I said, leaning in close to him over the table. "I find it difficult too. I want to take from people. It's—it's a habit. I see the man over there; he's wearing a Rolex."

"That's a fake," he said.

"It is?"

"Yes," he snickered. "I love that about you though. You have impulses. I have them too. It's why I think we're perfect together."

My toes curled up inside my shoes. I thought he was perfect. I was the one who brought mess into his life. Everything he did was calculated and meticulous. Although maybe that was just because of the people he knew who could clean his mess up.

"I want to give you this." He pulled out a ring box.

I grabbed his hand. Shaking. "What?"

"It's a promise ring," he said, opening it up.

My heart throbbed. "I—"

"It's my promise to protect you, to think about us and not just me, and it's also because I didn't want to go too fast. My impulse told me to go as fast as a moving train without brakes. But my brain correct itself. What do you say?"

Sobbing at the sight of the gorgeous black, shiny black band inside the ring box. "I—I don't have anything for you."

He took the ring from the box and slipped it on my finger. "I take that as a yes to my promise then." He lifted my hand and kissed the back of it. "Now, we should go see what they're selling here before we go watch those big cats eat their lunch."

It was everything I'd ever wanted.

Stability and warmth. A love I'd craved for the longest time, I didn't even know if that type of love even existed beyond my dreams. But it did. It existed here, now, within me and him. Within us. I never wanted this moment to end.