27. LEO

I slept in his arms, and I woke up in his bed. On top of the duvet with a blanket around me. I didn't realise it at first. I was in a t-shirt and underwear. My wrists had a thin layer of bandage around them.

"Hello," I called out.

I couldn't tell if it was the middle of the night or the morning. His room had heavy blackout blinds against the windows. I almost scared myself as I rolled on my back and saw my reflection.

Wrapping the blanket around my waist, I walked out of the room. There was a deep orange light shining through the flat from the sun setting.

"Hey," he said, walking up to me. I didn't even really see him standing there. He wasn't dressed like he usually did. He was in a pair of green shorts and a blue vest top. He waved a hand in front of my face. "You feeling ok?"

"I'm—ok," I said, grabbing his hand. He was really there.

"I got something set up for you," he said. "Do you want to change into something? It'll make you happy."

"What is it?"

He led me to the bedroom with my clothes. "I can't say, but it involves a lot of cuddles." As he turned to open the drawer, I hugged him from behind. He'd saved my life. I didn't want to ever let go of him ever again. "It's ok. You're ok now."

Dressed in my teddy bear onesie, I had the ears on a hood, and a fluffy tail on the back. It was one of my favourites because inside it was lined with a comfy plush material.

"Now close your eyes," he said.

Panic caught me off-guard. "No. I—" I didn't want to close my eyes. It reminded me of having the hood over my head. "Maybe I can walk backwards."

"Sure. Hold my hand."

He led me down the hallway. I was half expecting Susie to jump out and shout surprise.

"Turn."

"Oh." Teddies. One giant teddy, and a bunch of smaller ones. "Oh my god." They were all surrounding the coffee table, and, on the table, there was a blue teacup set with plates and a pot. "Where's—where's Tuffy?"

"He's right there." He nodded to the lap of the bigger teddy. "Now, I figured, you'd want to have fun and play. Today was difficult, and I don't want you to have that in your head. I want you to have this. A teddy bear tea party." He gestured with his hand, but I'd already stopped listening to him.

This was my dream. I'd only pretended to have this many teddies and a tea party set. I sat at the head of the coffee table and thanked my new friend for looking after Tuffy. There were so many of them and they didn't all have names, or at least they weren't telling me them just yet.

"Ten, and Tuffy," I said, counting them. "Ok. I'm Leo, and now, you're all my friends. We're going to have a party and get to know each other. So, let's go around the table and say something about ourselves. Ok, ok." I raised my hand. "I'll go first. I'm Leo, and this is my first tea party."

Daddy came and placed a tray of biscuits on the coffee table, alongside filling the tea pot up with water. He asked if he could join, but I told him it wasn't for Daddies. It was for littles and their best teddy friends.

As I gave each of them a name, I wondered how I'd fit them all on my bed. They definitely didn't want to be on Daddy's bed with the mirror. That's where we did the naughty things together.

They were each a different animal. An octopus, a bunny, a dragon, a unicorn, a cat, a dog, a lion, a tiger, and an elephant. As well as the huge bear, almost as big as Daddy. It reminded me of all the animals I wanted to see, except for the animals I only saw in my dreams, like dragons and unicorns.

I went on for as long as I could before Daddy called me for dinner.

"Let's eat," he said.

I excused myself from the tea party. Taking Tuffy with me, I sat at the dining table. There was a large brown paper bag on the table, and I could smell the deliciousness coming from inside. My stomach let out the biggest of grumbly rumbles.

"I saw you eat all those cookies," he said. "I bought us McDonald's. And yes, I bought you some extra toys. I always hate that you've got to collect them all, but they never let you choose. Anyway, you should have the complete toys thing."

It was amazing to see them all. They were little buildable figures, each one a different character from a film that had just released. I almost forgot about the food.

Daddy stared at me from across the table and smiled. "I told you," he said. "I'm never letting you out of my sight again. Which means, you'll be coming to work with me, whenever I go to work."

I liked that idea, even if I knew his work sometimes involved him killing people. "What happened to that woman today?"

"You really want to know?"

I was too curious. I didn't want to know. I had to know what happened. There was a big fight. Something bad happened. I just didn't see it.

"She—she was the one who killed my dad," he said. "Then she—she said she was going to kill—" He looked away from me and screwed his eyes shut. "It's ok now. She got what was coming to her. She tried to play the game. She paid the price."

I knew what that meant. He just didn't want to say it.

"Anyway," he said, forcing himself to smile. "I was thinking. My dad's funeral is next weekend. I obviously want you there with me."

"Ok. I'll come with you."

"And afterwards, I want to take you on a trip somewhere, maybe see some of those animals you like," he said.

"A zoo?"

"Sure, or maybe somewhere abroad."

He was smiling, but it wasn't a happy moment for me. "I—I don't have a passport. And you need that to travel. And—and I don't even know where my birth certificate is, so I probably can't even get a passport." My hands were shaking. I was letting him down for his big plans.

"Hey, hey." He reached out to my hand. "It's ok. We can sort that out. And we can wait. But in the meantime. We can visit the zoo. We can visit some places we own up the country, maybe near a beach. I just—I kinda want to get out of the city for a little bit."

I held his hand, although I was full of nerves. I knew I'd have to tell him eventually. "My mum. She has my birth certificate. She never gave it to me. If I wanted to get a passport, I'd have to speak to her."

"And we can do that together, if you like."

"But I already told you about her."

"Listen." He took a firmer grasp of my hand. "It wasn't us that did to her. It was the people who deal harder stuff."

"It was cocaine too," I told him. I knew that was something his people dealt. "But I don't think I can see her yet. She'll just ask you money. And you're a nice guy, so you'll give it her."

He chuckled. Maybe it was the comment about him being a nice guy. He wasn't seen as a nice guy by everyone. But to me, right now, he was nice, and he would do anything for me. "I promise, I won't," he said. "I don't even have to be there, and you know, you can go to one of the government offices and request a new one. You don't need to see her."

"Is it really that easy?"

"We don't have to talk about it," he said. "I don't want you to go through any more stress today. So, which animal are you most looking forward to seeing?"

"Pandas!" I exploded. "Are you being serious? Because if we see a panda. I might scream really really loud."

"Then let's do it," he said. "After next weekend, we'll find out where they are, and visit."

"Edinburgh Zoo," I stated. "It's the only place in the UK that has them. What—do I need a passport to get into Scotland?"

He smiled. "No, you'll be fine."

The buzzing whir of thoughts and emotions were wild inside me. I almost forgot about the day I'd had. My biggest dream ever was to see a panda, no, my biggest dream ever was to visit China and go to the place you can hold a baby panda. I suppose that one would have to wait until I got my passport.

"What other animals do you like?" he asked.

"All of them."

It was true. Animals were incredible. They were so different. I envied them. Their parents weren't trash. They didn't get hooked on drugs or leave, and the ones that left their kids, well that was probably in their DNA.

He paused me in the middle of my excitement. "It's going to be difficult to make sure you're always ok," he said. "And I want to know if you think I should continue to take over the business."

"You—you want my opinion?"

"Yes. I want to know what you think."

It wasn't my place to say. "If you didn't, who else would do it?"

"Good question."

"And I think you're the best," I told him. "I think you should do it because you know what you're doing. And—and I think you're the best at giving orders because people listen to you."

Smiling, he tried to force it down by biting on his lip. "People don't have a choice, they have to listen to me," he said. "I just don't want to put you in anymore danger."

"I'm good at escaping things. I escaped a lot."

He stroked a finger across the bandages on my wrist. "I just don't want to see you in pain. You shouldn't have to escape from anything, because you shouldn't be in danger."

"Before you, I was in danger, like all the time. Then with you, I was in danger, and now, I'm not in any danger because we're in your flat, and nobody can get us here. Right?"

Daddy clicked his tongue a couple times, looking me over. "I'll add a couple more bolts to the door, then I think we'll be fine. Also, start doing more cardio, just in case you're chased. And maybe some boxing lessons would be a good start, just to put my mind at ease."

He'd saved me, literally rescued me, from the life of robbing people on the street, to a situation where someone waved a knife in front of my face. "I'll do anything." Plus, it couldn't hurt to learn how to properly defend myself.

"Great," he said, tapping my hand. "Finish eating. You need all your strength. You were a good boy today."

My toes curled under the table. "I was," I said at his affirmation. "I was really good. I called and—and you picked. I knew what to do." Although I had no idea who would answer, I just knew someone had to.

He wrapped his leg around my leg. "What do you think about hot chocolate, cuddles, and whatever we can find on the TV for dessert?"

I enjoyed both cuddles and cartoons, but that wasn't a dessert. "Um. Ice cream?"

He agreed to it, smiling at me. He looked sad though, in his eyes, I knew ice cream would make us both happy. As long as it was full of sugar. I didn't want to see him sad; he was my hero today. And I wasn't going to let him think he was any less than that.