3. CAL

Every time we went to visit Frankie's family, my anxieties spiked. I didn't know what they'd say or how they'd be around me, almost like it was different every time. They lived in a huge house in South Philly. It was one of those houses on a corner that had clearly been extended out and built on. Half the house was red brick, and the other half was a sandstone.

"Remember what I told you," Frankie said as we pulled up in the driveway behind two other cars. "Smile, nod, look pretty, and keep to yourself."

We'd argued once about him bringing me here, that was when he confided in me that he wanted to show me off to his family. I was part of his life, and the more I was seen with him, the easier my life would be.

I never knew how to act with his family. I grew up in some small Connecticut town, sure, people did party drugs there, but there wasn't a big homeless population and there definitely wasn't a drug crisis pushing people out of their homes. That's what I saw here, and Frankie's family had a hand in that. I still didn't know how to process that.

"I got it," I said. "And what about holding your hand or kissing you?"

He leaned across the center console and kissed me. "I would tell you to do that as much as you want, but I'm not looking to start any drama today, Cal. I'm already going to get it in here about last night." He pressed a finger to his head.

I sighed, looking at myself in the uncomfortable clothes I was forced into. I didn't pull it off in the same way that he did. He commanded presence in his clothes. A man with authority. Frankie was made for suits. I wasn't. I looked like I was going to church.

It took me a little while to get my head around the structure of the family. There was the head, Paolo, Frankie's father, and his advisor, Vito, Frankie's uncle. And then his three brothers were underbosses, Tommaso, Alessandro, and Mattia. Tommaso as older, and from what I gathered, if anything happened to their father, he would replace him.

Frankie's role was different. He was the muscle. We'd argued about that once as well. His only job was carrying out hits, he didn't have anyone who reported to him, except for me, apparently. He joked that it was because of his sexuality that meant he wasn't in any other position within the family, but I thought his position was the most powerful. He did the dirty work the others only stood by and watched happen.

I reminded myself not to bring any of that up either. The only time I'd ever asked a question and his uncle, Vito, held a knife up at me asking if I was a cop. Which nearly lead to Frankie stabbing his uncle.

"Let's go," he said, giving me another kiss. "You've got your Switch, right?"

In a small backpack, I had my Nintendo Switch some minty gum, and my cellphone. I knew I wouldn't be able to be on them right away. I had to get the formalities out of the way once again. Sometimes it shocked me that a week was this short.

We walked up the steps to the front door and inside, as always we were hit with the welcoming smell of homecooked food. We could hear people from both the lounge on the right and the kitchen to the left, it seemed busy.

Frankie's mother, Giulia had the big hair and hoop earrings. She was tanned and plucked in all areas with a boob job, and what looked like a corseted waist under her cream sweater and black pleather leggings.

"Frankie, my baby!" she called out after seeing us enter the kitchen. "Oh lord. What have you done?" she took his hand to inspect the bandaged knuckles.

As unwelcoming as it sometimes felt, this place had a homey feel to it and smell throughout.

"Hi mom. It's nothing. Cal fixed me up," he said. "It smells amazing in here. What have you got on?" He gave her a hug.

She squeezed him, pressing her nose into his collar and glancing at me. "Hi, Cal," she said. "Did you come with an appetite this time?"

I patted my stomach, looking at the pans on the stovetop bubbling. "Of course. I haven't eaten all morning." It was a white lie. "What is it? It smells incredible."

She welcomed me with hug and a kiss on the cheek. "You know I like a theme," she said. "Today, I planned on it being all about layers. I've got a lasagna and a tiramisu in mind."

"I gonna head into the lounge," Frankie said.

"You wanna help me in here?" Giulia asked. "Better than going off to talk shop with him."

I stared at Frankie, hoping he would make the decision for me. On one hand, I didn't want to be around all the men, and on the other, I didn't want to be alone with his mom. She tended to complain about me to me. I must've had something on my forehead that said shit on me and put me down.

"I should probably go in alone," Frankie said. He took my hand and squeezed it. That was all the intimacy we were going to show. "Especially after last night."

"Yeah, you should," she said. "And let me know when you need your bandage changed. I'll see what the damage is."

I tried my hardest to be nice. "I stitched them up for him," I said. "The bandaging is mostly for compression."

She snickered. "Look at you, a regular Grey's Anatomy over there. You know, I've been stitching my boys up since they were toddlers." She glanced over at me and rolled her eyes. "Is this really the life you want?"

It was beginning. "I love Frankie."

"I know you do, sugar," she said, pawing at my arm. "Why don't you set your little bag down and you can stir this pot for me. This one is important, it's the secret sauce."

I placed my bag down on the counter, and I made sure to do everything with a smile. "I think he's mellowed since we got together," I said, rolling up my shirt sleeves. The last thing I wanted was to get any of the red sauce on my clothes.

Giulia tutted. "That's not exactly a trait people look for in him," she said. "You can do better, that's all I'm saying. It's different for you, you're a guy, it's not like my Tommy, his wife, Anna is protected, as is their son. You know."

She was trying to tell me that people would hurt me to get to Frankie, and they wouldn't do the same for his brother's wife. I forced a smile on my face anyway. "I can handle myself," I said. Those self-defense classes I'd been taking with Frankie in the bedroom had filled me with confidence.

Almost like she summoned them, the wives arrived in the kitchen. Tommaso's wife, Anna, and Alessandro's wife, Nina. They were a clique onto themselves. I wasn't jealous of them though. Their husbands kept them at arm's length when it came to the business they were involved in. I made sure Frankie told me everything, it desensitized me to what happened in the world. It was also another reason why I never wanted to leave him, I'd crumble, and I wanted to believe that he would crumble if he lost me as well.

"Nice to see you, Cal," Nina said. She was a brunette with her hair always up in a messy bun. "I was just telling Anna that we never see you."

"Once a week," Anna chuckled.

Forcing the smile, I looked at them and stirred the bubbling pot of red sauce. "I'm pretty busy," I said. "I have a lot going on. I absolutely wish I could spend more time with you all, especially because I think Frankie might propose to me soon."

A clang echoed out. I turned to see Giulia, wide eyes, standing over a metal spoon on the kitchen floor. "He—he's what?"

"It's not official, but he kinda hinted toward it," I said.

I knew it wasn't going to happen anytime soon, at least not until we figured out what happened to me two years ago. That was the block. We couldn't start life with this still clouding us. It had been worse months following the incident when Frankie had cared for me at his bedside, he obsessed over it. That obsession passed to me when I was well enough to leave the apartment alone and stopped flinching at every loud noise.

"I'm happy for you," Nina said. "Well, whenever it happens. I've always wanted to go to a gay wedding."

Anna squealed. "Yes, the gays know how to throw a wedding. That's why I hired one to plan mine. It was fab."

Giulia tutted. "Could I get a hand over here?" she asked, quickly occupying her daughters-in-law. I didn't think she was outwardly homophobic, but she also avoided all topics of commitment when it came to me and Frankie. Opting to believe this was going to be over.

The idea that it could have been over scared me. I'd thought about it. Once I'd got my revenge, would this relationship collapse?

It felt like I was in one of the rings of hell as Giulia commanded me around the kitchen. I thought it had to have been time to start eating soon, and the sooner that happened, the sooner we were out of here.

"Hey baby," Frankie said, coming up behind me as I was at the kitchen sink washing my hands. He placed a kiss on the back of my head. "I just got in the neck, like I said would happen. Apparently, I'm a hot head, and I need to watch my temper."

I turned in his arms, my wet hands threatening to touch his face. "So, what did you do?"

"Francesco!" his mother screamed. "You smashed my vase."

Frankie stared into my eyes, the anger was there, pinching at him to flip. But the longer we kept eye contact, the more I could feel him ease away from it. "It's ok," I whispered.

"I threw it at the wall," he said. "But you think I'm to blame for it?"

She snapped her fingers. "I know you are. I don't care what your brothers said. I don't even care what your father said to you. You do not come into my house and break things. Understand?" She had a temper on her too. I guess that Italian-American blood was combustible.

The atmosphere was tense. Silence fell over the kitchen like a metal blanket. The bubble of the pots on the stovetop, almost bubbling harder with the tension.

He faced his mom. "I'm sorry, ma," he said. "I'll get you a new one."

"Yeah, you betta, because I do not go into your house and start breaking things."

Almost ironic she'd mention that, since she seemed committed to breaking us up. A fleeting smile touched my lips before the tension resurfaced in the room.

"Stop gawking." She turned to Nina and Anna. "Go help set the table," she said, flailing her hands in the air.

Frankie took my hand. "What's that Cal?" he said. "Yeah, I'll show you where it is."

I knew this game. I went along with it. "Thank you. I forgot." It was an exit strategy, not to leave the house, but to leave the room. And that was a small win.

He took me down a hallway and into a bathroom. He locked the door. "I'm not weak," he said, grabbing me by the neck and pinning me against the wall. "You know I'm not weak."

A smirk touched my lips again. "You'll have to prove it," I told him, taunting him. "Come on. Prove it." I reached down the front of his slacks and grabbed his soft cock. "I need this. I need you to prove that you're not weak, otherwise they might make me believe it too."

He removed his hand, laughing. "You're a little asshole. I swear, I'll show—"

"I have a little what?" I gave his cock a squeeze.

Frankie stopped laughing, his face turned serious. "Against the wall. I'll show you just how strong I am."

The bathroom was big. I pressed my chest and face against the cool tile, pushing my ass out a little for him to take. I tried to pull my slacks down, but he smacked my hands away.

"On the wall," he said. "I don't want to hear anything from you."

I placed my hands above my head on the wall and spread my legs, prepared for a cavity search. I chewed my teeth into my lip, trying not to speak.

He pulled my slacks and briefs down to my knees. "Good boy," he said, giving me a spank. "See, I'm not weak."

"No, you're—"

Frankie placed a hand around my face, covering my mouth. "Shh."

I felt him spit between my ass cheeks and then press it into my hole. I moaned against his hand; the low vibration of the sound came out in my throat. This was what I'd wanted this morning. In fact, I'd wanted it wherever and whenever I could get it. Especially here.

This wasn't the first time we'd been in this bathroom together like this.

Using his stored-up aggression, he gave me only a finger as a warning before fucking me with his cock. He squeezed me against the wall, my face pressed into the hard tile. His head on my shoulder, biting at my earlobe. "I'm not gonna stop," he said.

I nodded, holding in my moans.

"You—are—mine," he said, thrusting on each word. "I'm—not—weak."

With the way my cock was positioned against the tile, it was jerking me off with each thrust.

Frankie pulled out and forced himself back in harder, I was ready to burst and cum everywhere.

"Don't—you—even—dare," he said, removing his hand from my face. He reached out, holding my hands against the bathroom wall. "I'm—not—finished."

It didn't take him long to work out all his anger inside me. Sex was our answer to everything. Every emotion could be fucked away. Sadness, anger, pain, all was solved with a little heated passion, and then a resting period where neither of us wanted to move.

"Good boy," he said, gulping in air. "Now clean up your mess." He gave my ass a spank before pulling the pants up from my knees. "We'll be out of here soon. I'll make sure to give you a big reward."

I turned to see sweat on his face and a smile at his lips. "I'm glad we got that out of the way before dinner."

He gave me a kiss.

I took his hands and kissed both bandaged knuckles. "You don't have problems with your anger," I told him. "You're just passionate."