Then

The wedding, a very rushed two weeks later, is televised. With the power of the network behind us, it has all happened at incredible speeds.

After a lot of debate, Andy is walking me down the aisle. The producers really pushed for it, and even though Josh didn't love the idea as much as he seemed to when we got engaged, he's being an adult and letting it slide.

Andy is also signing as our witness. He pulled me aside the day before to go over, in his words, "a few legal details." Basically, that WekTech is retaining nominal ownership of me, in case the marriage doesn't work out.

"It's going to work out," I said, a little miffed that he was obsessing about technicalities when here I was, fulfilling the very destiny he created me for.

"Sure, yeah, of course it will," he said. "It's just, if it doesn't..."

"Stop!" I cried, laughing. "You're going to jinx it!"

The venue, at a winery outside Indianapolis, has been decked out. Our wedding day dawns sunny and clear. I've seen the barn they've transformed into a chapel, and it's lovely, with simple white chairs for the guests and wildflowers everywhere and a little arch Josh and I will stand under as the minister marries us. After the buffet-style reception, a band will play into the night. I'll pretend not to feel like I want to puke my guts out every few minutes, and we'll both smile like we're not crushed that neither Josh's dad nor his mom will be here today supporting us.

In the flurry of the day, as a whole assortment of bridesmaids twitter around me like nervous birds in their pink satin gowns, Cam is a rock. She keeps turning up with exactly what I need. A fresh coat of lipstick. Extra deodorant. A can of ginger ale. Another pack of oyster crackers.

It's like I'm living two experiences at once.

One experience is the one everyone sees. An extravagant, country-sweet wedding. Every detail attended to, from the mason jar candles to the antique ivory tulle woven around the arch to the personalized gift bag underneath each of the guests' chairs, tied off with a sprig of lavender.

The other is an invisible, interior experience. One that I have to live through alone—that Josh has to live through alone. The private grief and tension held behind our smiles.

When it's all said and done, the moment of our wedding day that sticks with me, to my surprise, isn't Josh and me saying our rehearsed vows, or him slipping the ring on my finger, or the tenderness in Camila's touch as she holds my hair back while I puke—again.

It's my moment with Andy, right before going through the barn doors into the chapel area where Andy will give me away to Josh. The cameras have just moved to the other side of the doors, so we have a single, miraculous minute of privacy.

"You look amazing," he says. An echo of one of his first reactions to me on Launch Day.

I smile as best I can. "If I puke, just jump out of the way."

But he doesn't laugh. Instead, he squeezes my hand. "Julia...you don't have to do this."

I look into his deep brown eyes and there's a moment of alarm, because the person who made me for Josh is not supposed to be encouraging me to run away from my groom at the last possible minute.

"Andy...we already talked about this. Stop worrying."

His voice goes low, urgent. "I have the keys to the getaway car. Say the word, I'll drive you away. I know it's been one thing after another for you. This all may feel...inevitable. But this is your choice. Yours, okay?"

"I have chosen, Andy. I'm in love with Josh!" I lick my lips, even though I know it'll disturb my lipstick. "Not to mention, you designed me for Josh. You should know better than anyone that we're a perfect fit." I pause. "Right?"

"What if I fucked up?" He suddenly looks like a scared little kid.

My stomach twists with some premonition. And then I shake my head, because Pachelbel's Canon is playing on the other side of the doors, and the wedding planner is walking toward us, giving us the signal.

"Relax. You didn't fuck up," I whisper, and hold out my arm for him to take.

And if you did, I promise myself silently, it doesn't matter, because I will make it work. No matter what it takes.

The wedding planner mouths, Go. The barn doors slide open. I smile. Andy's grip on my arm tightens, but he doesn't move.

I squeeze him, hard. It's time. Let's go.

We take a step. Then another. Everyone is standing, smiling, glowing.

Soon, the minister will say, Who gives this woman to be married?

Andy will say, I give her.

Then I'll take that step forward. Release Andy's hand and take Josh's. And I will belong to Josh as fully and completely as I've always wanted.

This moment is my long-awaited dream come true, and I'm not letting any last-minute insecurities of Andy's take that away.