4

Mabel

My head hurt more than I could put into words, and I knew the feeling of dried blood in my hair all too well. But for the first time since I had left David and being routinely injured, I did not assume it had been him who hurt me.

I did see the problem that I had still been hurt so many times after leaving my abusive husband that it was something to consider.

"Finally," a choked voice said as I tried to open my eyes. "Keep them closed, darling."

"Andre?" I checked, my voice sounding horrible.

"Yes. I am going to gently sit you up with the pillows and help you drink some water. If your head hurts, keep your eyes closed."

"Is she awake?" a woman gasped.

"Yes, Your Majesty," Andre answered.

"Thank the goddess. I will tell the healers," she rasped.

Andre did as he said to move me and pressed his lips to my ear. "You have been unconscious for over a day since you were rescued, and the queen refused to leave your side. That woman truly adores you, so no matter her sins, know that."

"Thank you," I whispered, thanking him again when he helped me drink cold water. It was the best water I might ever have had. "My head hurts so much worse than normal hits to the head."

"Because they were planning on killing you anyways, so they did not care if you died from the shot," a man's voice said. "I apologize, but I do need to open your eyes to examine you. We can do a more detailed scan of you now that you are awake. We were worried about healing too much or upsetting your body while you were unconscious."

I agreed and hissed when even the minimal light stung.

"Your recovery is progressing nicely," the healer said as he let me close my eyes again. "Your brain swelled a bit too much because of the hit to your head and the skull fracture."

"Skull fracture? You did not tell us about a skull fracture," Andre seethed.

"With all due respect, Marquis, you and the grand duke were not all that rational," the man said calmly. "We were honest that we were concerned about the countess's state, but we would not have answers until she woke. Specifics would not have helped much besides your upset."

"Andre, please," I whispered when he seemed like he might tear the healer up. I held up my hand for his. "Where's Ian?"

"He stepped out not ten minutes ago to work on the situation with Gerald," the queen muttered. "He's going to be so upset he was not here. He's barely left your side, so please forgive him."

"Of course. How bad am I?"

"We are going to heal the skull fracture now," the healer told me.

"Why did you not do it sooner?" the queen demanded.

But I already knew that answer. "If my brain was swelling, the fracture allowed it a place to swell to. If they enclosed my brain again in bone fully, it could basically pop for lack of a better visual."

"Yes," the healer agreed. "We handled the bleeds we found and comforted her brain as best we could basically, but some healing the body has to do itself. We did tend to you diligently, Countess."

"I believe you, thank you."

"Forgive me for saying this, and I know that this is in no way your fault—"

"But my head cannot take any more hits like this," I said quietly.

"Yes. The next time, you probably will not wake up."

"I know," I whispered. "I was warned of that last time. Thank you."

"I am sorry. I am very sorry. I wish you'd been saved from your circumstances sooner."

"Thank you."

"What is he talking about?" the queen worried.

I sighed. "The doctor warned me after my father assaulted me that my brain and head have been injured too many times. David hit me too many times, always left untreated. It's like a bone being broken too many times, basically, and soon I will lose the use of it. Except when it is your brain, you will not wake back up essentially. The brain cannot heal."

"There has to be a way," she argued.

"I believe that will be one of the pope's arguments why I will have to go to the Holy Empire," I grumbled.

"Holy power could save you?" Andre asked.

"I am sure that is how it works," I said with a half shrug. "I have no idea, but from how I have read it, it heals back injuries like that. That is what I want to try to do to your knee."

"Do it for yourself, Mabel!" he begged, apologizing when I winced.

"I do not know how, Andre," I rasped. "I have no idea what I am doing. You think I want to die?" I tried to pull my hand away from his, but he would not let me, kissing it and sitting on the bed with me.

"I am sorry. I am so sorry, darling," he whispered and gently pushed my hair back from my face. "Of course. Of course. I am a fool. It's been so hard to sit here and feel so helpless. I was not thinking and I am an idiot."

"But there has to be someone we can find to help you learn," the queen said, her voice cracking. "This cannot be how your life is, Mabel. That is too cruel. There has to be some good priest or someone with the temple who would want to help the saint. I refuse to believe all of them are so corrupt and horrible."

"I am sure there is, but the risk of having a snake come next to me is greater and too terrifying," I whispered, suddenly too tired. "Can I have more water, and can I sleep?"

"I will check with the healer and the instructions," the queen said.

She came back and said both were fine, but I had to be woken up every two hours so the healers could scan me.

I thanked her and took her hand. "The best plan would be to find a trusted someone in another country who has a good relationship with their temple or priests. We do not, but other countries do. Father used to say that priests were loyal to their sovereign, not the Holy Empire, and that was the mistake the king made. I do not know if it was true but—"

"It is, but that was in place long before the current rulers, and Gerald did not have that luxury," she defended.

"I understand, and I did not know if Father was even correct. I never brought it up because I did not want people to know. But now they will. I do not want to die either. I do not want to be a toy passed around, and they will all want me. That's my solution to help. Also, tell the king about my condition. It's fuel for his argument why I cannot go to other countries. One accident—"

"I understand." She leaned in and gently kissed my forehead. "We will rewrite history a bit to protect you and us. We were told about your condition, and that is part of why we kept you quiet. If people found out and immediately tried to abduct you or hurt you—as they did—you could die. This time, we will not fail you, Mabel."

"Thank you, My Queen." I had some water and fell asleep, hoping this time I might truly be safe.

I doubted it, but it was a nice hope.

The healers woke me, and Andre was not there, but Ian was. "Whitney?"

"She's fine," he promised. "Truly."

"Good," I sighed. I let the healers check me and thanked them, nibbling a bit on the food they had for me.

"You scared me, lovely," he whispered as he sat with me.

"I was scared too," I admitted. I reached for his hand. "I know everything is a mess, and this will throw our lives into chaos. But please, please, I need that flower found. Put people on it—the dream was important. I cannot lose time on this—Violetta was firm that this is urgent."

He nodded. "I will make sure someone handles it. And yes, things are already a mess. Temples from all over the kingdom have come to the capital to demand to meet you and bring you to the Holy Empire. It's all over. There was a run on your store with people trying to buy everything they could now that they know you are the saint."

"Was anyone hurt?"

"No, the viscount handled it well, and the police were on the scene fast. I added guards at the warehouses and factories. I might hire mercenaries for it as well." He gave me a sad smile when tears filled my eyes. "For now, lovely. People are losing their heads thinking you will be taken away and they cannot get the products anymore. They will regain their sanity."

"I do not want to be taken away," I rasped.

"Never. I will not let them," he swore to me. "No one wants that. As cold as it is, not when you are so valuable to the kingdom, so please understand that even if it's horrible, their selfish desires help you right now."

I nodded, knowing there was more bad news.

And there was.

He filled me in on exactly what happened and… It all seemed too insane. The pope wanted to marry me and force me to have his child so he could become a king? And the high priest wanted me dead?

Yes, my head started to hurt worse, but at least now that the swelling in my brain was gone, I could take something for the pain. I did, eating a bit more as well and slept.

I spent the next few days in the routine of being woken every two hours and checked on, eating a bit, and going back to sleep. Yes, there were some deviations to use the bathroom, and thankfully the maids helped me shower. But mostly, that was all I did.

The queen looked more and more worried each time I saw her. Magical letters were arriving, and I could only imagine what their contents were. I doubted they were only from the nobility, and the ones from other countries were the truly worrisome ones.

It took four days from when I first woke for the healers to declare me able to get out of bed and resume light activities. The only thing on my mind was the flower. The king was annoyed when I asked about it at breakfast, but the queen shot him a look to be quiet.

"I apologize, Your Majesty," I said, addressing it. "I know you are dealing with too much, but the goddess left me a feeling of impending doom if I did not find that flower and procure a lot of it soon. She's not made me feel that before, and while I understand this is all very serious, I am terrified what else is so serious that has her worried."

"You think a disaster?" the queen muttered.

"I think plague," I admitted, everyone at the table going not just quiet, but pale. I nodded when there seemed a million questions on their faces and disbelief. "Why else send that to me when she has been sending me medicines and tonics? What else would I use a flower for? Why would I need a lot with urgency?"

"You are absolutely right, and I was too distracted to see it," Ian said with a sigh. "Why did not you tell us, lovely?"

"Because I do not know that's what it is, and that's a huge thing to declare, Ian! I could be wrong, and that's not a bell to unring. You do not just throw around the word plague." I gave him the look he deserved.

"No, you do not, and I appreciate you not being flippant with that," the king said firmly. "But I do agree with your assessment, and I am glad my cousin kept with your wishes."

"Two plants were found matching the sketches you circulated," Ian told me. "They should be arriving soon for you to check. They did not have flowers, and they easily get trampled by animals eating the leaves from trees, so it makes sense that they are not seen often in the forest. Plus, if they are the ones found, they only like moderate weather."

Meaning they did not grow anywhere that got too cold or too hot, which most of the kingdom hit one extreme or the other yearly. Wonderful.

I nodded and thanked him. The rest of the breakfast I listened to the updates about what had been going on. Mostly a bunch of nonsense.

Every house of the nobility had basically demanded that I come bless their families as should be owed them. It was hard not to roll my eyes, but steam about came out of my ears when the Matthias family demanded the divorce be invalidated and I be returned to them.

"I am truly tired of being seen as property," I seethed.

"Yes, I have many, many faults, but they are truly detestable people," the king grumbled. "Shockingly, your father has not reached out. Apparently, that man has had enough sanity to learn from his past mistakes and leave you be."

I shocked everyone by snorting, then apologizing to the king.

Amusement filled the queen's eyes. "That's not the reason, is it?"

"No," I chuckled darkly, setting down my fork when I realized that I would have to explain. "Father would have to admit that a lowly woman was worth more than him, and his pride cannot allow that. He will die on the hill denying I am a saint. He also will not be able to let anyone say that I was valuable and he missed it. He has learned nothing."

The king blinked at me a moment and shook his head. "You may be the only person who truly has a more fucked up family dynamic than Ian and I have."

"Gerald!" the queen gasped, even Ian looking shocked that the king swore.

"She's practically family now if they are in love and she knows," the king drawled. "There are no secrets left between us besides you cheat at cards, my love."

"And you snore," she threw right back.

"So does Ian," I chuckled, my eyes going wide when I realized what I'd admitted. The king threw back his head and laughed which actually helped my embarrassment.

"I beg your pardon, I do not," Ian argued, setting the king off all over again.

And it looked like the man really needed the laughs. Which was why Ian had done it, giving me a subtle wink.

"A decision needs to be made about what happens next," Ian said when we were wrapping up breakfast.

"I cannot go back home," I sighed, not making them say it. They all seemed relieved that I understood that and I would not be difficult.

"The palace is the safest place for you," the queen said firmly.

"Both Ian and Andre have had issues with the corruption of the royal guard," I argued. "Even the king did not use them in handling the situation with the former Minister of Finance. Because you were worried about leaks. All it will take is one temple fanatic and I am dead. I trust your word, but there are too many moving parts at the palace, too many people and visitors."

"She's not wrong, Gerald," the queen sighed.

"You would agree to Ian's house?" the king checked.

I cleared my throat and glanced at Ian. "If I am not an imposition."

He chuckled. "Lovely, as much as I hate this all, the excuse to have you live with me is a blessing."

I was not the only one who rolled my eyes at his antics. I even went so far as sticking my tongue out at him. "Staying at your house is not living with you and certainly not sleeping in your bed every night." The king and queen both laughed at how fast his face fell.

"I want to train more knights, and I want you to hear it from my lips it is solely because of this reason," Ian told Gerald. "I truly believe and hope that we can work past what has happened. I believe you see what you have done wrong and are working to make amends."

"As do I and plan to close the queen's palace in the next few months," the queen said, relief filling the king's eyes.

"But I need more knights if I am going to be in the capital more and doing all I have been. People—I am spread too thin, and I cannot drop the ball and risk Mabel."

"I am so sorry, Ian," I rasped.

"You are more than worth it." He let out a slow breath when I simply nodded, but it did not seem like a frustrated sigh. "Mabel, look at me, lovely." He waited until I did. "I love you. Hear me when I say you are worth this, saint or not. You are kind and caring, and you put up with my stupid broken idiot head all of the time and are gentle with me. Let me be gentle with you now."

"Thank you." I let out a slow breath and met the king's gaze. "I know we have not discussed it, but I think now is the time to… You will want to strengthen bonds with your allies, and they will be miffed at you. I am fine with you using the idea of trade to do that. Trade with my store to their countries." I shrugged when he could not hide his shock.

"I find that surprising as well," the queen muttered.

I sighed and met her gaze. "I want to help people. I do not like the optics of being a puppet or a lowly woman." I gestured to the king. "But there is a way he can frame it so it does not sound like that, but he has the win of having set up trades for his friends or friendly leaders. You love him, so there has to be that amount of good in him."

Ian chuckled and I winced, realizing how I had been speaking about the king in front of him.

"I apologize, my head does still hurt," I mumbled.

The king was quiet several moments. "No, I think it best we are honest and even blunt in this setting."

I liked him better for saying that. "Ian, Andre, and I get a lot more done that way. Colin and Kathy too." I glanced at Ian. "Even offer them the ink. Tell them we planned to, but we were worried about the Holy Empire. Tell them—let me know what I am telling them if asked. Please do not make me sound like a moron in the end. That is all I ask."

"And do not break Mabel in the process," Ian added. "We are not overpromising her like with helping fertility and her very fair, clear lines. Only what she already has in place. Honesty will go a long way, and saying she was not pompous and had trouble believing she was a damn saint is logical, Gerald."

"I agree," the queen said. "Offer for them to come here for a private meeting now that the cat is out of the bag before we were even able to confirm it. Make it clear we had not confirmed it." She gave me an apologetic look. "Tell them that a saint coming from an abused marriage of the family of your biggest enemy sounded a story too silly to be true."

"That is basically what I have said while making it clear that you were never the problem," the king said firmly. "Also, that while you are not a heretic and never denied anything, you were modest and humble to never boast you were a saint. That is currently where we are at in communications with allied leaders."

I swallowed loudly. "And the ones we are not friends with?"

He ran his tongue over his teeth. "It has not been going well."

I nodded. "I will do what I can to help, but I will not be the sacrificial lamb or turned over like property. I do not want to be the reason people go to war either." I rubbed my head as pain shot through it.

"Enough," the queen said gently. "None of this is your fault or responsibility and Gerald knows that. We are simply telling you the truth. You worry about what the goddess wants and the possible…"

Plague? Yes, I would focus on that simple issue.

"I will handle the politics, and I understand your position," the king said. "And thank you for being so understanding. I will not leave you to be the fool, but please understand you will have to do some posturing as well."

"Uncomfortable dinners and meetings," Ian added, sighing when I nodded. "I know, lovely."

"Just—I cannot be alone with angry, yelling men. Saying that as a woman who has been abused is a fair line," I whispered.

"But they will not trust that we are not forcing you," the queen sighed. "Invite their wives or sisters—all cease-fires and no hostility. All our nation's issues and problems on hold for this. That is the olive branch we are extending to show this was not us."

"That is smart," the king agreed. "But they have to take turns. They cannot all come at once. As much as I would want our allies to come first, one of biggest problems is the closest and…"

Nothing was ever easy. I felt horrible but also, this was their job.

However, there was a lot that they should have been handling instead.

The only good news was that one of the plants recovered was the correct one. Now we had a live specimen and a location where they could be found. And most importantly… A name.

Canter bells, originally from the country Canter, weren't found much in Areca. But they were said to be all over Canter with their mild weather and so abundant that people practically tripped over them.

And guess who we had a great relationship with?

Yes, the country of Canter. The king was actually very close with their king. So hopefully, he could work some magic there.

Not just for whatever the goddess was worrying about, but my own sanity.