4

Mabel

Rage filled Ian's face, and his sparkles changed colors to much darker than normal to the point I actually worried about the manager's safety. I thought Ian might actually pound the man right there.

"She is a countess, and you did not even greet her appropriately," he bit out as he tried to regain his composure. "And you are talking to the Minister of Justice, so I would suggest you not flaunt your discrimination and bad behavior."

The manager flinched and his eyes went wide, but he held fast. "I apologize, but we are allowed to deny service to anyone that does not fit our standards and rules."

I snorted. "Standards? All I see is hypocrisy, sir." I smirked when he looked at me… With disgust.

Which Ian made clear was a very dangerous thing to do for his health.

I moved my hand to Ian's arm. "It's fine, Your Grace. I would not want to spend money here after finding out the establishment is sexist and demeaning."

"I beg your pardon?" the manager scoffed, throwing on a half-assed "My Lady" when Ian looked ready to pound him.

I pointed to a table not far from us. "That man is divorced. He is dining with his mistress who was the reason for his divorce. So divorced men—men who were unfaithful to their vows before the goddess—and the women they cheat with are allowed to dine here, but I am not because I am divorced and female? Yes, that is the very definition of sexism, sir."

The man was less than thrilled to be called out like that, but when I gave him a look to deny it, he couldn't. I did notice the glance he shot Ian as if to say being pointed out and picked on in the restaurant was much better than the fight it would cause with Ian if he argued with me.

"That is—" the manager tried to object.

"Entirely different?" I finished for him, raising an eyebrow. "No, it's not. That's sexism. And he is not the only one here I see dining with someone other than his wife for a romantic meal. So in front of everyone, you just stated loudly that a woman who was abused and left her husband is not welcome here, but men who behave badly are.

"And you as a commoner passed this judgment on a noble as only the manager. You are not even the owner, sir. I am sure you are fairly new to this role then, but nobles are not a fan of that. Any self-respecting noblewoman would probably have a problem dining here after learning you'd protect the badly behaved men but judge the women."

"You are speaking out of turn and idiotically to—" the manager snapped, people gasping that he would talk to me that way.

Ian reached over and fisted the front of the man's suit. "Apologize this instant for speaking to that countess that way or you will end up in jail. How dare you behave this way, sir!"

He fumbled out an apology while clearly not meaning it.

"You can cancel our order," a woman said from off to my left. I glanced over to see two women standing at a table and having flagged down the waiter to tell that to. "We will no longer be dining here after seeing how management treats women."

I dipped my head to her, thanking her for her solidarity.

And she wasn't the only one.

Another table of three women did the same along with four different couples. I was pretty sure two were still in the courting phase, and from the upset of one of the women, her date hadn't agreed with her decision to leave but didn't want to make a scene.

I wasn't sure that couple would make it if he wasn't willing to support her decisions like that. I hoped not, and good for her.

But the manager, staff, and most of the customers were shocked at the exodus. I was too but pleasantly surprised. Maybe there was hope for the world after all?

Once we were all outside, the first table of two women said they were very sorry I had been treated like that and were glad I was free. That was very kind of them, and I accepted it wholeheartedly.

"Ladies, could we offer you a ride to the place we will dine at now?" Ian asked. "It's a newer place I have wanted to try but not popular. I have heard good things, but you know how the games work."

Yes, other established restaurants would do just about anything to keep someone from encroaching on their turf. They would send people to harass customers, spread rumors, or one last year released rats during a busy night and the place was shut down.

They gladly accepted, and the others who'd left asked where Ian was speaking of. He told them but reiterated that he'd never dined there, but one of his knights had said good things.

That was enough for the hungry group, and their carriages pulled up or they flagged for a ride. People grouped up together and away we went.

"I feel like we started a mutiny," I chuckled as we rode along.

"It's entirely their fault for behaving that way," the older woman who had first backed me stated firmly. "Honestly, I was growing tired of that place. We are used to a certain amount of being pushed aside as women, but today again they bumped our reservation for a man and his partner. Our money is just as good and making us stand there like fools is unacceptable."

And yet they had accepted it since they'd been sitting at a table when we'd walked in. It was a shame how women had become so dulled to that kind of insult and being mistreated that way.

It was something I knew well.

The restaurant was more than a little shocked to have so many customers arrive at once when only a handful of people were there dining. Ian explained what happened and the recommendation, apologizing if it put them out in any way.

They were elated, giving warnings that things might be a bit delayed as they had thought they were done for the night. Which was horrible given it was just after six now.

We started with the seared scallops with spinach and pomegranate glaze. One bite and Ian and I shared a look that this place was an undiscovered gem. The food was divine.

Next was the pan-seared salmon with tomato pesto, and it was honestly one of the best things I'd ever put in my mouth. Absolutely fantastic.

"I am almost glad how that horrid man treated me now," I joked after we finished.

"Nothing is worth your upset and such bad behavior, but I do agree that I am glad we dined here," Ian said firmly, giving me a smile. "And I am very glad you joined me, Mabel. I am glad I get to share this new find with you."

I felt my face flush and reached for my water, muttering a thank you.

Even in his compliments, the man was always so intense!

Last, we had the roast duck with a blackberry orange sauce.

"How do we get this sauce?" I groaned. "Could you imagine it on pork chops?"

"Now I am," Ian chuckled, sticking his pinky in only the sauce and then bringing the finger to his lips.

Something I found very interesting and somewhat seductive even if it was completely normal. He opened his mouth to say something but then did a double take at whatever was on my face.

And then he gave me a sly smile as if knowing where my mind had been.

I snapped out of it and focused on my meal. What was wrong with me? I felt too hot and my heart was racing from Ian licking his damn finger?

Maybe I had lost my mind?

We didn't order dessert because I had loads at the house with all the idiots trying to drown me in gifts as if that was all a woman wanted.

"I think I want to have a discount program," I told Ian once he'd paid the bill and we were back in the carriage. "Jars are expensive and most will throw them away, and I do not want my stores being the reason the garbage men have to work harder."

"That's really smart," he muttered, frowning at me. "I have never thought of that for our inkwells, but we should do the same. A few coins off the price should be enough to interest most. We have to wash out the wells when we get them anyways."

"Exactly," I said, smiling when he did. "I am glad you do not think the idea is silly."

"Mabel, I have yet to feel that way about any of your ideas. You might not have a grasp of everything you need to, like with how things work with an attorney, but nothing you have suggested has been silly." He cleared his throat and fidgeted with his tie. "I spoke with Gerald about your idea of having a procedure that an attorney can remove themselves from the case."

"He did not like it," I sighed.

"He did not jump on it," Ian corrected. "He is not wrong that Alec did have the right to turn Colin down. He did it to keep the peace, and he likes the pay of being Colin's attorney instead of opening his own office. That's part of the job, but he could have told Colin. Or me. We would have listened to that concern. He let himself be pushed around or…"

"He did not want to start the trouble," I sighed. "The king is not wrong; however Alec also made the point that he did not have the full story until he'd already started, and to stop then could have affected his license. That's not fair. I would think attorneys get trapped into too much that way. There should be a way to pull an emergency break. Maybe a meeting with a judge in chambers?"

"That is what I suggested," Ian told me, smiling when I did that we were on the same page. "Or even a resource with my office that could—Alec did not have the right help to start. There should be a way to facilitate the law better."

"Oh, that's even better," I praised. "The king is very lucky to have you looking out for him and the kingdom." It hurt my heart that Ian clearly didn't hear that often from the shocked look he gave me.

Everyone deserved to be appreciated for their hard work.

We were talking about the opening of Transformative, but I started to lose track of the conversation.

I woke on something firm, thinking I probably fell asleep in the carriage. I rubbed my face and pushed to sit up, frowning at how weird the bench felt.

"Good morning," Ian chuckled.

I blinked at his chest and then glanced up to his eyes… Since we had been lying down together. "How did you end up in my bed?"

He raised an eyebrow. "We are on the sofa of your room, Mabel. I would never just sneak into your bed."

I couldn't get my mouth to work and glanced around, seeing he was right. I wasn't sure that was really any better than my bed. We were alone in my bedroom.

Wasn't the rest just details no one else would listen to?

He moved to sit up and carefully helped me to get comfortable where his legs had been. "You fell asleep in the carriage mid-sentence. I caught you before you toppled forward, and you were so adorable that I did not want to leave."

"People will talk about you being here, Ian," I whispered, my heart racing.

He gave me a look not to be silly. "My knights stayed inside your kitchen and the carriage went back. It will arrive soon like I came for breakfast. I would never do anything that would give you trouble." He chuckled when I gave him the look he deserved. He slowly leaned in and kissed my cheek. "I did not want to leave you."

"You are so much trouble," I sighed.

"Yes, but you are too," he defended, leaning in and giving me a soft kiss on the lips. "I only took off your gloves and shoes like a gentleman. I did not do anything bad and even found a blanket which you kicked off a bit ago."

I rubbed my face again and nodded. "You still did not have permission. I will have to punish you."

"I expected nothing less."

Cheeky brat.

He cleared his throat and took my hands in his. "There is something I want to say and I do not know how. Well, I do not know how to say it without sounding crass, so I hope you will understand it comes from a good place and give me a chance to explain."

"I will try my best," I accepted after a moment.

He looked down and traced a fading scar on my arm. The ones on the arm I had started with were almost completely gone now. "I wish to see you naked before you heal yourself." He sighed when I tried to pull away. "Let me explain."

"Let me go first," I whispered, wanting space if we were going to talk about my abuse.

Or the result of it really.

He did as I asked, letting out a slow breath when I stood. "I think you are beautiful, Mabel. We all have scars. Even if mine healed, I have many, many unseen. You are understanding of them, and I hope one day you will have strong feelings for me even with them. I want…"

"What?" I hugged myself.

He let out a heavy breath this time, more of a huff. "Please look at me." He waited until I did. "When I see you naked after you are all healed, will you not wonder if I would have accepted you with your scars? I would. I will. I want you to never doubt that and…"

I snickered, sighing when he frowned.

"I am not sure you should be amused by my feelings and my wanting to treat you well."

I couldn't even get annoyed at his miffed tone when he was hurt. "Your assumption you will see me naked is what made me snicker, Ian." I smirked when he looked busted. "Yes, you are charming and pushy, so I am sure no woman has ever turned you down before but—"

"You make me sound a player," he grumbled as he jumped to his feet as well. "I am not. You are very tapped into the rumors of society. If you tell me you hear of me—"

"No, most try for you, but you politely turn them down. Everyone knows that," I said gently.

"Yes, well, I do not like people who approach me with ulterior motives, even if I understand the ladies who do it just to be free of their families and homes. It benefits them, and I have spent my whole life being a benefit to people instead of being valued as Ian."

"Yes, it is a hard burden to live with," I muttered, knowing it well even if I was sure what I knew wasn't the extent he did.

Then again, he was free on his own, and I'd been abused for years like a slave. So, I wasn't sure which of us actually had it easier.

He moved closer to me and cupped my cheek. "I see you, Mabel. I accept all of you." He leaned in and kissed me again, more deeply this time. "I do not ever want you to doubt that my feelings are not superficial. I know your scars hurt you in ways I can never understand and I want you to heal emotionally. If you want to heal physically to help that, I understand that too."

"But you want me to keep them?" I hedged.

He gave a half shrug. "It matters not to me. I want you with or without them. I would kiss each one to show you that I accept them. I would kiss them every night we were together to help you heal from the pain they've caused you. You are not your scars. I…" He sighed, letting go of my cheek and scrubbing his hand over his head.

I reached out and grabbed his other hand. "Tell me, Ian. I do not understand, but I am not mad."

"I hate you go through all of this alone," he rasped. "Let me help. Let me in, Mabel." He hurried on when I opened my mouth. "Let me show you how much value you have. I could see all of your scars right now and not care at all. I would only hurt for the pain you have been through—"

"Ian, parts of me are not whole," I whispered, dropping his hand. "She mutilated—"

"I do not care," he growled and moved his arm around me. "I do not care, Mabel." He growled again when I scoffed at him. He lifted me up and moved me over to my vanity, sitting me on it and moving between my legs. He cupped my face with both hands and kissed me deeply. "I do not care, Mabel." He stared deeply in my eyes. "What if I was—men lose things in war."

I slowly nodded. "Of course, but that's different and—"

"It's not. This was done to you just as battle happens to men. I accept it. I will hurt for the pain you went through and nothing more. I will be angry if what that monster did will not allow you to feel pleasure, but nothing else."

I blinked at him. "Pleasure? Women do not feel that during…"

His eyes flashed shock. "Yes, yes, they do, Mabel. If done right women feel intense pleasure." He kissed me before I could say anything.

And then his hand was under my dress.

"Let me show you, lovely," he whispered against my lips before kissing me again. His tongue pushed into my mouth and I gasped, shocked and feeling hot from it… Plus, where his hand was on my knee.

A man had never touched my bare knee before other than the disgusting doctor. Just thinking of him made me flinch.

"Too much?" he worried.

"No, I thought about…"

"Tell me," he whispered gently, massaging my knee. "I might have been inebriated, but I wanted to let you in, Mabel. Do not you want to let me in too?"

"It's so ugly, Ian."

"Please, please trust me, lovely." He turned his head and nuzzled my neck. "See me for the true Ian and my heart and trust me. I trust you so, so much and wish to support you. I know I mess up but—"

"You are the only reason I am still standing most days," I assured him. I let out a slow breath. "Your hand on my knee made me think of that doctor who checked my virginity. He forced my legs apart by the knees and threatened to have others come in and hold me down if I struggled."

"I will kill him," Ian seethed as he removed his hand from my knee.

Except he put it on my thigh. I shivered again but realized my mistake when he went to move his hand away.

"It's okay," I whispered, moving my hand over his, feeling weird that I was holding his hand in place through my dress. "It feels different when it's you."

"Good, good," he murmured and kissed me again. "I just want to make you feel everything good, lovely."

I gasped as his hand moved between my legs, but then forgot what I might have said as he deepened the kiss. He guided my arm around his neck and the other seemed to follow along.

"Does it hurt?" he checked as his fingers stroked my most intimate parts.

"No, just feels weird," I whispered, not sure if that was something to say.

"Tell me if it hurts." Ian waited until I nodded and then did more, but it was faster and better.

I moved my hands and gripped his arms as he rubbed his nose along mine. Our breath mingled and was warm against my face. My breathing became heavy, but his wasn't normal either, and I had a moment to wonder if he enjoyed what he was doing to me.

Would I enjoy doing this to him?

Yes, yes, I would. The answer was instant. I wanted to make him feel good and be so affected as well.

A cry started to come out of me and he quickly kissed me. My body jerked and something that had never happened before overwhelmed me.

"Thank you, Mabel," Ian whispered several minutes later when it was over and his hand was out from under my dress.

"Thank you?" I asked, my heart still racing as I stared into his pretty eyes as if they held all of the answers.

He smiled at me and nodded. "Yes, thank you for letting me give you your first orgasm. It was my absolute honor."

"I did not even know women could do that," I whispered, blinking at him. "I thought only men did when—for procreation."

He shook his head. "I climax when I stroke my cock thinking of you, Mabel. I have done it a bunch of times since—"

I moved my hands over his mouth before even realizing I was doing it, the two of us blinking at each other.

He burst out laughing and gave me another kiss. "I will leave you to get cleaned up and changed so we can act as if I just arrived for breakfast."

I watched him leave my room and huffed. He'd just steamrolled over me again… But I didn't think I would complain this time.

My body was still tingling from what he'd done. I glanced down as if wondering how that had all happened even if my dress was covering me.

Okay, fine, Ian could be pushy sometimes.

As long as he made me feel like that again.

A lot.